Because of you
Disclaimer: They're not mine. So sad…
Summary: One ranger is not looking forward to the upcoming Parents Weekend. What secrets is she holding back? Please Review!
Monday
"There are many preparations to be done for the upcoming Parents Weekend here at SPD." Commander Cruger announced to the enthusiastic crowd of cadets.
It was an annual tradition, much like Homecoming where the families of the cadets would come and visit their children and/or siblings. It was a highly anticipated weekend because of the nature of their work and long hours they rarely had time off to go visit their loved ones.
However, one cadet was not excited. Miserable would better describe her mood. In fact, Sydney Drew was dreading the approaching weekend. Not that she begrudged everyone else their happiness; she just didn't share in it. All around her was the buzz of ecstatic cadets making plans with fellow teammates on how to spend the weekend. Not even the thought of a new dress for the party on Saturday could lift her spirits. Sydney knew what no one else did. Her parents weren't coming. Sure they were invited, as they had been the last few years; and it wasn't that they couldn't come; it was that they wouldn't come.
Last year she had pleaded out of the weekend by pretending to go visit her parents, who were "always traveling". At least that's what Syd told everyone. Besides last year she hadn't been so close to Sky and Bridge or known Z and Jack so no one had questioned her. This year Sydney knew she wouldn't be so lucky. Her roommate could read her like a book, and if Bridge got a reading on the turbulent emotions flowing through her, he would stop at nothing to find out what was bothering her.
Pretending to be the SPD princess was easier than telling them the truth. What if they found her unlovable too? Syd couldn't bear more rejection, so she hid behind her princess façade. Sometimes she played the part so well she even fooled herself into forgetting her problems. But at night, the past would always come roaring back.
She remembered with startling clarity the night her family had fallen apart. It had been broken for a while, but this was the night her life changed forever. Her mom had been working late again, leaving Syd and her dad to cook dinner. Her father had been unusually moody that night, snapping at her for no reason. Mr. Drew tucked in the eight year old and waited for his wife to come home.
"Sorry I'm late." Mrs. Drew announced as she breezed through the door with a grace she passed onto her daughter.
"Same song, different day." Muttered her father. "Damn it, we deserve better than this." He shouted angrily. "We need you Ana, I need a wife and Sydney needs a mother." Jonathan declared pacing the kitchen.
"The lab needs me." Ana Drew protested wearily. They had been having the same argument for the last few months.
"You don't need to work." Jonathan reminded her rudely. "I make enough money so you can stay at home with Sydney." His words carried upstairs to where eight-year-old Sydney sat stunned at the top of the stairs. She had heard her parents fight before but not like this.
"What about what my career? What about what I want?" Ana shouted furiously. "You can't tell me what to do Jonathan." She cried out slamming her hand on the counter in frustration.
"Maybe not." He conceded with an eerie calm. "But I will not let you drag our daughter into your lab for more testing and experimentation." He remarked.
"This is ground breaking science Jon, the future depends on it." Ana tried to convince for the millionth time to see her viewpoint. "Why can't you see that?"
"What I see is you and the other lab rats turning our daughter into a freak. I'm thinking about Sydney's future here." Was his harsh reply.
"Sydney's future or your own?" Ana retorted venomously. "Are you ashamed of what your daughter is and who she could become?"
"I don't care what she becomes as long as she isn't like you!" screamed Jonathan Drew.
Tense silence stretched between the couple. "Apparently the lab needs you more than we do." Jonathan explained. "So don't bother coming back after work tomorrow." He declared with a sigh. He left the kitchen and his soon to be ex-wife behind. His parting words, "We'll be fine without you." Broke his daughter's heart as she raced back to her bedroom before she was discovered.
Suddenly all was quiet as Sydney realized that they had been dismissed and she was the only one left. Shaking her thoughts away, she went to find her teammates for lunch.
Syd was quiet all through lunch as the other four rangers eagerly discussed plans for the coming weekend. Z noticed that the usually upbeat pink ranger was quiet but before she could question her roommate Commander Cruger came in.
"I'm going to need your help with preparations for the weekend." He announced to the B-squad. This was one assignment they were all looking forward to. "First off, who wants to be in charge of decorations?" He queried the group.
Four voices answered together. "Syd." They agreed unanimously with a laugh. Syd was the unofficial party planner of the whole of SPD. Birthday parties, holiday parties, and celebrations were her expertise. Everyone who attended one of Syd's parties were never disappointed, as everyone always had a great time.
The girl in question raised her head at the nomination. Slowly her hand raised in the air. "With all due respect sir, I wish to decline from that assignment." She said quietly, refusing to look her teammates in the eye, knowing they were staring at her in confusion.
"Very well." The commander conceded, not noticing anything was wrong. "Do you have another preference?" He asked kindly. "Hospitality." Syd replied hopefully.
"That can be arranged." Doggie assured her as he continued on with the organization. "So who will be in charge of decorations?" He asked again.
"My duplicates and I will have it done in no time." Z volunteered quickly.
"I'll be in charge of food sir." Bridge declared eagerly. "I'll help." Sky offered. "Otherwise we will all be eating toast all weekend." He teased his butter-loving friend.
"Jack, you will help me rearrange schedules for the weekend." Commander delegated the red ranger. "Yes sir." He complied easily. He would agree to anything given that they would have a few days off and the chance to visit with family.
Commander Cruger left the rangers to their planning. Sydney excused herself not far behind. "I'm going for a walk." She stated softly, pushing away from the table, leaving her near full plate of lunch behind.
"That was weird." Sky Tate waited to declare until after the pink ranger had faded from view.
"Yeah, no one likes a party more than Syd." Z agreed thoughtfully.
"She's only planned the last 13 parties we've had here." Bridge added, troubled at her reluctance to be involved.
"It's like she wants nothing to do with it." Jack observed. They didn't dwell on Sydney's mood for long, as their own excitement over the weekend once again became the focus of conversation.
She wondered outside out to the training field where no one would expect to find her.
The images of earlier in the day replayed in Sydney's head. She remembered spending all of the next day waiting for her mom to come home, but she never did. She would spend nights crying in her room wondering why her mom didn't love her enough to stay.
Tears slipped down her face as she relived the pain of ten years ago. Her parent's divorce had been quick, but not without much pain. It had broken Sydney's tender heart to lose her mother, as she was not permitted visits or contact by the judge. She still had her father and became close to him as the pain started to fade. But birthdays were especially hard on her, when the pain of missing her mom on big milestones like becoming thirteen, going to high school, or having her sweet sixteen threatened to overcome the joyous occasions.
Despite the divorce Sydney considered herself lucky, she had a good relationship with her father, a lot of friends and a normal life. All that changed right before her junior year in high school when a brochure from the SPD academy arrived.
"What is this?" bellowed her father's voice; so angry it brought back memories of the night her mom had left. He found her in the living room eating dinner in front of the TV, like she usually did, as he often worked late with his new job as chief of police. He held the brochure in the air and waited for an explanation.
"I was curious." Sydney shrugged. "Mom used to be a ranger, I wanted to see what she did."
"We don't talk about her." Jonathan said forcefully. This time Sydney would not be intimidated. She was a young girl desperate for the influence of a mother and she would not be stopped in her quest to know her.
"She's my mother." Sydney insisted. " I have every right to know about her." She said, standing her ground.
"Have it your way." He muttered, as he began to share the truth he had with held from his daughter for years. "Your mother didn't love either of us enough to take care of us. She was always at work at the lab at SPD. She was so caught up in the future she neglected what she had."
"Is that why you told her not to come home?" Sydney wondered softly. Jonathan looked up at her admission.
"I just wanted you to have a normal life." He pleaded with her to understand, hating the sadness he saw in her eyes. He was afraid he was going to lose her too.
"I wanted my mother!" Sydney shouted. "How could you keep her from me? How dare you!" She wanted to hit him, cause him pain for the grief he had caused her. She broke into sobs and stormed up to her room, slamming her door behind her.
The bell rang for dinner startling Sydney out of her thoughts. The afternoon had flown by without her knowing it. She realized she was emotionally exhausted and passed on dinner, hoping instead to catch a nap.
She sought refuge in her comfortable bed, while one question kept running through her mind. 'Why had her mother never tried to contact her? Maybe, she didn't love me." She thought miserably as tears fell from her eyes.
"Where's Syd?" asked a curious Sky Tate as he sat down for dinner. The day had been weirdly absent of any criminal activity, giving the rangers some well enjoyed down time.
"I haven't seen her all day." Z remarked, suddenly realizing how strange that was. The social butterfly that was Sydney was not given to moments of wanting to be alone. She loved to be around people at all times. And people loved to be around her. She had a charm that drew people to her, even if you had no intention of doing so. Sky for example was the prototypical stoic male, and even he wasn't immune to Sydney.
Sleep would not keep the churning emotions away as she tossed and turned fitfully. She tried warm milk. She tried counting sheep. She tried to recall the meditations Bridge had taught her to focus on her breathing. Her blue eyes grimaced when the clock told her it wasn't time to get up yet, instead showing the ungodly hour of 2:23 am.
Her roommate was asleep so she quietly grabbed her pink comforter and book and headed to the common room, hoping that reading would calm down her restless mind.
It was there that Sky Tate found the pink ranger fast asleep during his rounds on night patrol. He smiled as he saw her still form lying uncomfortably on the couch with her arm hanging off the side and her head at an awkward angle. The smile left him when he saw the expression on her face. Gone was the peaceful countenance that usually graced her beautiful face, replaced by a mask of sadness and unmistakable pain that startled him. He wondered what she had been thinking about to cause that expression and realizing that the only way she was sleeping was because she was exhausted, otherwise he figured she would still be awake. Forcing his thoughts aside, he picked up the slight girl and carefully put her in her bed, wishing her a good rest.
