weirdest1: WOOOOO! FIRST REVIEW ON THE STORY! (gives cookies and roses) I'm sorry I made you fall over…;; But I'm happy you liked it! XD
A Dallop A Daisy: Oh yes, Daisy! Just wait until I do Gaara and Neji's chapters…MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA! …HAHAA!
happychica: Hooray for improvising! OwO And thank you very much! (hugs)
Master Sanosa: YES! (claps) Gracias for the tip :D I'll make sure to use the () I don't wanna spell it out. (falls over) WHEEEE I'M DOING IT! (dances)
Harakiri-Penguin: Hooray for insanity :…and AYE-AYE, CAP'N! WATCHIN' FOR SCRIPT FORMATS!
brightfire5: Yesh… "wow" indeed…(scratches chin)…HUG! (hugs)
Neko-Gaara: Heehee! w I'm so happy you like it!
VixenOfDeath809: Wow, that much! (hands ice bag) I don't want my reviewers to get hurt! (hides) Don't hurt me if it isn't as funny!
foxes-n-blood-n-tears-never...: Yes…poor Mr. Truffle. I can also see why Itachi did it, I mean, my sister eats my chocolate and I steal her cellphone! - Note: My sister's cellphone is the MOST important thing EVER to her - And I'll be sure to keep it up. :)
-ItachixSasuke-: HAHAHA! Just wait…Naruto's…oh, I'll have MUCH FUN with that. (evil grin)
Superior Steel: AHHHH I MIGHT BE A MURDERER! (stabs self) …owwww….I'll update soon, I'm updating now :D
mokomel: Sure, I'll do couples! And I think you just gave me an idea for the sixth chapter. (smirks)
twitchy-chan: Really! Hahaha! (laughs) And are you really gonna send the squirrels? O.O (runs away) THEY WILL EAT MY SOCKS! NUUUUUUUUUUUU! No worries, Neji is gonna be my fourth chappie. ;)
Rae-chan33: AH! Are you okay! (shakes) Well, I'm SOOOOOO UBER MEGA SUPER DOOPER HAPPY YOU LIKE IT!
Anime Yin Yang: Yes, I'll be going…on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and…(rambles off)
crazybritoutforevange: Yes, Itachi's friends are much better than cottage cheese. XD And you like many guy characters, don't you? Haha…but you can't have the Chocolate-stealer 'cos he has Naruto-kun! YAAAAY! (pushes Sasuke and Naruto together) BABIES! One must be named after……wait for mine too…wait…wai--…false alarm…NO, no…YES! MEEEEEEEEE!(blinding sparkles)
SasuNaruBlackCat: Yesh, Sasuke is the squishy squirrel! >w
dumbass ninja: Ah, I won't make him as gay as Sasuke. And I'll put in all those people, don't you worry:D
Reject From The Back Of The Bus: YEAHHHHHHHHH! SASUNARU BABIES! (dances) Okay, one child will be named "Tay" and one "Noraku". :D
EvilFuzzy9: AH, THE INFAMOUS REVIEWS BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNN! Squee! I'll update soon. :)
PurpleNek0: Oh, I hope very much that it'll be popular! XD That's a GREAT IDEA too! It'll be "Naruto REHAB Sessions"! WOOOOOOOO and thanks much much much for fave! ;D
HOLY SHIZNAT, LOOK AT ALL OF THEM! Alright! Let's get this thing started! Note: I'm listening to Jaws while listening to this so…um…KISAME! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Tay: (opens door) Okay, Kisame, it's your turn now. Come on in and have a chair.
Kisame: FINALLY! Um…what's with the chips?
Tay: Oh…sorry. We had a tea party during their session.
Kisame: I wanna tea partyyyyyyyyyyyy…
Tay: Would you like a dress? Chelsea has this pink one with lace and frills and such, it's really pretty. Why don't you wear that one?
Kisame: WOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Are you allowed to use it? Does…who was it… "Chelsea" mind?
Tay: Nuh. I don't give a rat's behind if she cares or not. It's not like she ever wears it.
Kisame: Oooohh….
Tay: Be back in a minute. Help yourself to the chips. Oh, and there's more food behind my chair if you need it. (walks out)
Kisame: …chips chips chips chips…Wait….WHERE'S SAMEHADA! SAMEHADA! COME HERE, SWORDY SWORD SWORD! Where'd I leave it? (searches room)
Samehada: HERE I AM! (bounces in plant pot)
Kisame: What the hell are you doing in that pot!
Samehada: You don't remember? Last night…the break in…you wanted me to kill her so that you didn't have to come to your appoinment today! But she thought I was some tree she ordered and stuck me in here! (struggles)
Kisame: …no, I don't remember! (scratches head)
Samehada: ARGH. WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THE SWORD!
Kisame: (whimpers)
Samehada: Just, get me out of here.
Kisame: No.
Samehada: WHAT!
Tay: (jumps in room) I'm back! Here, have a lookit, Kisa--…what are you doing with my tree?
Kisame: Er…just…touching…it…
Tay: …
Kisame: …
Tay: ...
Kisame: (picks nose)
Tay: …TRY IT ON! (grins)
Kisame: YAAAAY TEA PARTY! (takes off Akatsuki cloak and puts on dress)
Tay: Ah…does it fit comfortably?
Kisame: …yeah, just fine!
Tay: GOOD! Um, let's have the tea party while doing the session, okay?
Kisame: Can you hand me that bag of wafers? (points)
Tay: Here you go! (hands bag)
Kisame: MMPPRRRHHHHHHHH! (HOORAYYYYYYYYYY!)
Itachi: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (does the wave)
Tay: Itachi, what in the WORLD are you doing here! I just released you and Sasuke! Besides, I'm coming back to the hideout after my appoinments today!
Itachi: But...but but...Deidara made FUN OF MEEEEEEE!
Tay: (kicks out door)
Itachi: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! (flies out of window and gets run over by Gaara)
Gaara: ONWARD, TEDDIES! (points forward)
Tay: Let's get started with the questions. Kisame, why are you blue? I mean, Itachi told me you were part shark. Is that true?
Kisame: Oh, yep!
Tay: Then…where did you come from?
Kisame: Uhh…what's that place called? Big water zoo park thingy. I know it has sea animals. Some kind of…World of the Sea.
Tay: Sea World?
Kisame: YEAH! My old friends live there. That big ol' whale that almost drowned the worker, the sharks in the shark tank, all them. The manager said that I was too weird to live there…made me sad.
Tay: (pats head)
Kisame: Thanks. So, they drove me out to the wilderness and dumped me there. But then I died 'cos I couldn't breathe air yet.
Tay: If you're dead, then how are you alive?
Kisame: I was resurrected by the SQUIRRELS!
Rock Lee: YOSH! MY BRETHEREN!
Tay: LEE, WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING HERE! You come in TOMORROW, not TODAY!
Rock Lee: …YOSH! THE POWER OF YOUTH HAS GOTTEN ME THROUGH RUSH HOUR!
Tay: Yes, Gai already told me that story.
Kisame: ROBIN! QUICK, THE JOKER IS UP TO NO GOOD!
Batman: THAT'S MY LINE! (smacks Kisame) Robin! To the Batmobile!
Robin: But I dun WANNNNNNNAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH…
Kisame: (drools)
Robin: (stabs self)
Batman: NOOOOOOOOO!
Kisame: (drowns Batman in dribble)
Tay: Okay (brushes off clothes) I got Rock Lee to go away.
Kisame: …My Little Pony, My Little Pony…
Tay: Why is there (gasps) KISAME, WHAT DID YOU DO!
Kisame: I CAN'T HELP IT! I'm part SHARK and I LOVE water and DROOL IS SOME KIND OF WATER.
Tay: No, I never liked Batman, I wanted to ask why there were so many CRUMBS on my clipboard!
Kisame: …derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…
Tay: (sighs) Never mind. What was your childhood like, Kisame?
Kisame: Well, Dad was taken away by the Konoha Red Lobster committee when I was really young. I never really knew what happened to him.
Tay: So that's what was in my soup.
Kisame: WHAT!
Tay: And your mother?
Kisame: Ah, she was really nice when I was a little baby shark thing. But then she stayed away from me when I grew an arm…and…(sweatdrop)
Tay: Oh. What do you think of when I say, "SHARK"
Kisame: MEEE!
Tay: Very good. What do you think of when I say, "NEMO"
Kisame: …NIGHTWISH!
Tay: I LOOOOOVE that song! (laughs) Oh, what did Deidara want to say to Itachi?
Kisame: Well, at the hideout, you know how Itachi is going blind?
Tay: He seemed alright today…
Kisame: He is going blind. Anyways, he broke the satellite for the TV, so we all got together and pulled straws to see who would discuss that with him. I mean, none of us have the time or patience for Itachi, really. But in the end, we cut Deidara's straw the shortest and made him the one to tell him. I mean, NO ONE cares what the sissy-boy Deidara thinks.
Tay: I do!
Kisame: …you don't count.
Tay: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (cries) Okay, Kisame, what are your dreams in life?
Kisame: Well, I want to save my friends Riku and Kairi from the heartless and live happily ever after on Destiny Islands!
Tay: …wrong story, Kisame.
Kisame: Oh, right, what I really want to do is work at Petco! (smiles) I'm great with great with children and animals!
Random little girl: (screams)
Kisame: Though…little girls don't find me very welcoming I guess…But I want to work in the fish department in Petco. That'd be awesome, I mean, I can get the fish all ready for being shipped off to peoples' homes! I CAN GIVE MAKEOVERS!
Tay: Riiiight. And who is your hero, Kisame?
Kisame: BRUCE, THE GREAT WHITE SHARK!
Tay: Yeah…that's awesome.
Kisame: I want to play ping-pong.
Tay: Are you having a good time way up there on your pedestal, Kisame?
Samehada: Did you forget about me, Kisame!
Kisame: Yes, I did.
Tay: …You know, Kisame, it's not alright to talk to yourself.
Kisame: Wha-- you mean, you can't hear Samehada!
Tay: Um, am I supposed to? 'Cos I don't.
Samehada: I'M NOT A TREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I'M A POKEY POKER!
Kisame: Shut up, Samehada! I don't CARE!
Tay: (takes notes)
Kisame: ……No, I DIDN'T replace you, STOP ACCUSING ME!
…
Kisame: Yes, in fact, that IS what glue is made of.
…
Kisame: We'll deal with Tobi later, OKAY!
…
Kisame: No, I DON'T LOOK FUNNY IN THIS DRESS! IT FITS ME PERFECTLY!
Tay: Kisame, does your pediatrician prescribe you any special medication? I think I need to have a talk with whoever he is about getting you some…
Kisame: I SEE DEAD PEOPLE.
Tay: You do? (takes more notes)
Kisame: Birdie, birdie, in the sky! Why'd you do that in my eye? Looks like sugar, tastes like sap. OMG IT'S BIRDIE CRAP! (faints)
Tay: Kisame, KISAME, ARE YOU OKAY! (shakes Kisame)
Kisame: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was--
Tay: NOT AGAIN! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I DON'T WANT TO RELIVE THE FEAR!
Kisame: BELIEVE IT!
Tay: Okay, I'll be getting ENOUGH of that from my next appointment. (smacks Kisame)
Kisame: I…it's Samehada! He's trying to (pulls Tay down next to him and whispers) steal my souuuuuuuul…
Samehada: I AM NOT!
Kisame: Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep--
Tay: Alright, let's just get back to the questions. You only have 6 minutes left.
Kisame: Really? Was I talking to Samehada that long?
Tay: (sighs) Kisame…how long has this… "talking with Samehada" been going on?
Kisame: Oh, ever since I bought him from Sasori.
Tay: Which was...?
Kisame: About…3 years ago today.
Tay: HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! (throws rice)
Kisame: Aw, shucks!
Tay: Hmm, but it seems I have found the root of your problems; Samehada. By the way, if your sword is talking to you, then it must be around here somewhere, hmm?
Kisame: He's in that pot over there! (points to corner)
Tay: That's impossible! I ordered that tree weeks ago! Though I don't get why they just dumped it in my office instead of letting me sign the paperwork.
Kisame: About that…
Tay: WHY DOESN'T ANYONE TELL ME THESE THINGS!
Kisame: SAMEHADA, STOP YELLING, I CAN HERE YOU JUST FINE!
Tay: Daddy never hugged me, and Momma never talks to me anymore…SOMEBODY HOOOOOLLLLDDDDD MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (wraps arms around self)
Kisame: Don't make me come over there, Samehada. I HAVE THE FRILLS OF DESPAAAAAAAIIIIIIRRRRRRRR……(shakes dress)
Tay: AAAUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH……I'm so…ALONE…(echoes) I see…I see, the LIGHT. (rocks self)
Naruto: (opens door) Hey, is it my tur--
Kisame: OH NO, YOU DIDN'T JUST SAY THAT, YOU STICK! (chokes Samehada)
Tay: And as the Strangefolk mined deeper and deeper into the mountain, holes began to appear, bringing with them a cold and bitter wind that chilled the very soul of the Monkey…I can see CLEARLY NO-OW, THE RAIN HAS GOOOONE…
Naruto: (knocks on door) Umm…Tay?
Tay: (turns head) Yes?
Naruto: I…I'll just come back tomorrow when you're feeling a little…better.
Tay: NO, I'VE LOST ANOTHER! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME, NARUTO! (grabs on to pantleg)
Kisame: I'm going, I gotta go check on Itachi and Deidara.
Tay: Okay, bye, Kisame! (looks at time) KISAME, YOU STILL HAVE 46 SECONDS LEFT WITH ME!
Kisame: FREEEEEEE-DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (grabs Samehada and runs out)
Tay: …he left his cloak and took the dress…(picks up Akatsuki cloak)
Naruto: (coughs)
Tay: NARUTO-KUUUUUUN! (glomps)
XD Hahaha. I'm sorry if this wasn't as funny as the first, but…I TRIED. (sparkles) Hehe, Kisame and I didn't really even ask any questions 'cos he was a little bit busy having an episode with Samehada….O.O;;;; Sorry about that. And I'm soooooooooOOOOOOOooOOOooOoOooQQQQQQQQQQ happy for you guys' reviews. :') They have….INSPIRED ME.
(Twilight Zone DOO-DEE-DOO-DOO DOO-DEE-DOO-DOO music plays)
Saki-chan! NOT NOW!
Sakiko: SORRY!
Oh, that's my Naruto OC, Sakiko. - Yes, I made an OC of my own, bite me - She helps out around the office. Like my secretary.
You know, it's very ironic that I'm even writing Naruto sessions in the first place, 'cos I have 2 therapists and I just so happen have to see one of them today. XD And let me just tell you guys:
PSYCHOS ARE NOT BAD, WE ARE AWESOME.
Okay…uuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm……..REVIEW! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
PS: The first reviewer for the second chapter gets…
KISAME'S AKATSUKI CLOAK! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Done for real. Until next chappie :D Oh, they might be delayed (see profile) 'cos I can't type them out on MS Word. NEEEHHHHHH...
