I know its one of the most over-used crappy things your ever going to hear in your life, and though I hate to be writing it here it goes;

If you're reading this note right now, Im probably dead. So laugh it up Mustang. But of course it would have to be a suicide note for me to be writing it addressed to you. Heh. Just when I thought I couldn't sink any lower. And yes, I do know you thought up some sarcastic remark about my height just now. I feel sort of bad writing this since I was always so against suicide, I always said it was the cowards way out, but Im not sure of anything right now because look at what im doing.

And I made the decision before I started writing this that I wouldn't put anything I'd regret in it. So im not going to go on about how much of a terrible brother I am for letting Alphonse die no matter how bad I feel about his death. Im not going to write about how killing myself dosn't even seem like enough for a hypocrite and a coward like me. However, I am going to do one thing I know i'd never regret.

Blaming you for all of it.

Ah, the fun I would have just coming back from a mission and finding some way to blame you for everything that went wrong, even if it didn't remotely relate to you. And don't go on to yourself about how 'he dosn't mean that, its probably him just taking it out on someone since he's about to kill himself' Im thinking straighter right now than you ever have in your whole life. Did you always have fun, winning? Huh Mustang? Was it that enjoyable that you felt you had to go back and make sure that every day I left your office feeling like a piece of crap and wanting to kill everything I came in contact with? But there were those few times, hoho and they'll never leave my memory. I'd get you back and you'd want to flame roast me on the spot. Well guess what. I win this one too. I killed me, you didn't kill me- nyah nyah.

And even if for some sick reason you attempt to cry at my funeral, don't- and remember that i'd probably be laughing at yours.

Tell winry not to miss me, and she made the best automail in the whole world. And you better tell her that in person you coward or ill come back to haunt you for the rest of your life. She really dosn't hate you that much. She hates the military and you happen to be in it, so it gives her a reason to hate you.

God I love mocking you. And don't you burn this letter either. Bastard.

This was completely pointless.

Why am I writing this?

I never got the point of suicide notes.

Or suicide.

Why am I...

I think i've gotten to used to writing my thoughts on paper. I think i've finally gone insane and it's all your fault, Colonel Bastard.

Why the hell would I even write my suicide letter to you? I hate you. I'd write it to Winry. What time is it? Its 3 in the morning.

Screw this.

Im not killing myself just to come into the office tomorrow and get back at you for making me go insane. Why am I still even writing all this down? I've completely lost it. Damn. I gotta remember to destroy this in the morning.

Ed stood up and stretched. He got so weird sometimes. He'd have to make a mental note that next time he thinks about killing himself it better be in the afternoon, and he better be thinking straight. He stood up and threw the paper into the recycling bin.

No-one would ever hear of this. Especially Colonel Bastard.

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No Clue why I wrote this, I think it does kinda suck and I don't usually do this kind of thing, but...whatever. First fic uploaded, not first written. Im still trying to figure out how to get them from the upstairs computer to the down when one has no internet connection :3