I
thought I would lie
when
you found out why
but
you wouldn't cry
worse,
you walked away.
Yukimi
noh Daiomoru stood pressed against a wall, slightly uncomfortably.
His face was alarmingly close, and she had time to stare into the
eyes, empty and alone. His eyelashes were spiked. Then he kissed
her.
She had never been kissed in this way. Yamani men had only
danced with her, talked with her, all this with expressionless masks.
She realised she didn't miss that part of the Islands, though she
found it hard to rid herself of the habit.
But this was different.
This was Roald, the only man she had loved, the man who loved her.
This wasn't some delicate Yamani who treated her like a flower.
This was Roald, who treated her like herself, who laughed with her.
This was the prince of Yuki's dreams, but a princess's
reality.
Yuki relaxed, and kissed back hungrily, envying all the
girls who wore tunics. His lips brushed against her collarbones, and
kissed her neck. She shivered from the treatment; it was so
different.
Roald broke away suddenly and stepped back.
"We
can't do this. Think of Shinkokami, and your family honour,
and-"
Yuki pulled herself towards him and kissed him, before
saying:
"I don't care."
She didn't, until Princess
Shinkokami came into the quarters she shared with her
fiancée.
"Roald…?"
I
thought we were friends
I
would make amends
but
to reach dead ends
when
you took my man.
Princess
Shinkokami sat down on her bed, emotions running through her. First
of all, anger. She had thought that Roald had loved her. She had
thought that they would be married happily, although she had known
one thing before, which meant she could never love Roald…
She
shook the thought out of her head. She could not think about that.
There were more important things to think about than her true love.
She had to marry Roald, to ensure the Islands had an alliance with
Tortall. But that didn't mean that she didn't have a chance. A
chance with Kel.
She thought of that face, from the time she was a
child to the time she was what she was now, complete with freckles.
She remembers the moments when Kel was a foreigner, when she got
accepted by Yamanis, and when her mother rescued the sacred swords.
She remembers, and sees her again as a grown girl, beautiful and
strong.
But it will never happen, thought Shinko.
And that
made her more unhappy than the sight of her fiancée and her
lady-in-waiting in love.
I
thought it was wrong
gone
on for so long
but
I wasn't strong
enough
to tell her.
Prince
Roald of Conté stood in the Throne Room, trying to realise why
what he had done was wrong. It wasn't as if he and Shinko were
married, although they were betrothed. Maybe he did know what he did
wrong, but he didn't know why.
His father would never
understand. He had fallen in love with a suitable woman. The fact
that Roald's marriage was a treaty was even worse.
But why was
it wrong to show affection for the one you loved? He would get
married, yes, but why couldn't he stay with his lover? Shinkokami
would understand. Or would she?
He remembered what he and Shinko
had done, and winced. Had he always been giving out vibes that he
loved her? He didn't know what he had done, being too preoccupied.
What in Mithros' name am I meant to do?
If
only he could explain to the princess. She would stare at him in that
Yamani way, and be brave, holding her chin up high. She would not cry
or laugh. She would stare, accusing, pitying, unhappy-but never
helpful. She would not forgive him. And neither would he.
Did he
love Yuki? Or was he using her, just to escape royal clutches? He
suddenly realised he was just like his father with the Lioness.
Am I doing this for love, or hate?
He didn't have time to answer before someone knocked on the door. He didn't open it, left the person to walk away with quiet footsteps, not knowing whether it was his love or his betrothed. He left both of them behind, not caring anymore, sinking into sleep.
It's
my life
It's
now or never
I
ain't gonna live forever
I
just want to live while I'm alive
It's
my life
Bon Jovi, 'It's my Life'
