Title: It had to be a prank.
Summary: It's not possible that Merlin is a magical cat. There's no such thing as magic.
"Okay, har bloody har," Arthur snapped at Morgana. For a second or two, Arthur actually believed that maybe, just maybe, Merlin was more than he seemed. But then reality kicked in.
It was obvious. Morgana had been training his cat to type certain words, to prank him. She could always make him feel the fool, and this was quite brilliant, even for her.
Sending Morgana a look that would have vaporised a lesser being, Arthur leaned over, sniffing at the keyboard. Merlin was a clever cat— much as Arthur would deny it, and training him was possible. A favourite treat or Merlin's tuna on the keys, Merlin pressing down to smear them on his paws, then licking himself clean as he was doing now, would have worked quite well.
Trouble was that Arthur didn't smell anything. It didn't matter, though. Morgana could be bloody stealthy when she put her mind to it. She must have been planning it for months.
"Well, you got me, Morgs. I believed it for a nanosecond or two." As Merlin squirmed and hissed a little, his claws scraping across Arthur's hand as if annoyed, Arthur let him drop to the floor. "So for his next trick, is he going to levitate or maybe clean up the mess he made?"
Padding over to Morgana, his little paws batting at her leg, arching up and meowing a couple of times until she picked him up, he settled into her embrace. Glaring at Arthur with those golden eyes of his, Merlin mouthed what sounded like a lot of catty insults in his direction before lifting his head and butting it into Morgana's arm.
"Well, I knew it wasn't going to be easy," Morgana said, petting Merlin's dark fur. "I didn't believe it at first either, but every day, things have become clearer. Merlin has magic. And Merlin has become trapped somehow inside a cat's body."
Arthur rolled his eyes at that. "Oh, fuck, Morgana, enough. You won, okay. You got me. The prank worked. Good for you. So can we stop with the magic shit, now?"
"Just because you are as stubborn as a rock and can't see beyond your little hide-bound set of rules inside that tiny brain of yours, doesn't mean it's not true. For fuck's sake, Arthur, open yourself to possibilities." Morgana was pressing down on Merlin's head, petting him hard and fast, almost as if she'd forgotten he was there.
With a hiss, Merlin squirmed out of her hands and jumped down, then with his tail whipping back and forth in clear fury, he stalked away, yowling loudly as he went.
Arthur ignored the stupid cat. He was more worried about Morgana's increasing insistence on something so clearly unhinged. "I am open to possibilities. But believing that Merlin is magical is just ridiculous."
"You are ridiculous," she said, tart and furious.
This was getting them nowhere. Still, Arthur couldn't let it go. "So what, now we just find a way to untrap Merlin and what? Turn him into a real boy? Like Pinocchio?"
"I don't know what he means by trapped, but he's not just a cat, Arthur, and the sooner you accept it, the better," Morgana snapped, clearly frustrated with Arthur.
"Well, you can't have him. He's my cat and he's staying my cat," Arthur said, thinking that was the end of it.
But Morgana wasn't done. "I can't believe you'd be so selfish."
"He's a cat!" Arthur snarled.
Letting out a loud howl, Merlin interrupted them. Beside him, on the floor, was Arthur's favourite book, the Once and Future King—illustrated, a gift from his mother, and Merlin was busy, his paws turning pages as fast as he could.
Arthur let out a yelp, that book was very dear to him, and he didn't want any mangy cat, even one that he loved, to be ruining it, but Morgana held him back. "Let him. He's looking for something."
"Cats can't read, either, Morgana, and he'll tear it."
But as Arthur reached for the book, Merlin stopped, and patted the picture under his paw. As Arthur looked closer, he could see it was a drawing of Wart, turning into a fish with the wizard Merlin's help.
He'd always loved that part of the story, turning into lots of animals as magical Merlin tried to show Wart compassion and understanding. Plus it had been fun to pretend to be a squirrel or an owl at times, with his mum looking on and sharing hugs with him.
Arthur hadn't looked at the book in years, ever since Ygraine died, but he still remembered the warmth of her love as she read it to him.
Now, Merlin was sitting there, one paw patting at fish Wart, waiting for Arthur to do what, accept that Merlin wasn't just a cat?
It wasn't possible and the sooner Morgana and Merlin accepted it, the better.
He wasn't about to change the rules of the universe for some nebulous idea of magical cats. He just wasn't.
