Author's Note: Long time, no post. Long story short, life's been crazy, but the good kind of crazy, so not going to complain. Trying to work writing back into my schedule. Got a good chunk of the next chapter of MIT done, but this plot bunny has been the most insistent.

And NSFW, by the way.

2179 CE, Arcturus Station, Residential Ward

Leliana hesitated, her fingers hovering above the holographic keys. Three sentences, sixteen words. She could write them in seconds, send them with a single keystroke:

"Risk of compromise increasing. Asset no longer viable. Extracting and relocating, requesting data on alternate assets."

Couched in the impersonal language of an information broker, the words would make little sense to an outsider, but to the recipient, the message would be clear: she had failed. Not a common occurrence, but neither was it unheard of. The intelligence game was one of high risk and high gains … at least, where the real prizes were concerned. Petty secrets were a dime a dozen, easily gleaned from a combination of careful listening and adroit conversation, and they sold for not much more than a dime a dozen. You could still make a decent living, if you sold enough of them, but it was a dull business.

The real secrets took time and skill to uncover, and the chance of failure was correspondingly higher, but so were the payoffs. More importantly to Leliana, the real secrets were where the greatest challenges lay, with the greatest satisfaction if she succeeded. It was this that had initially inspired her proposal to infiltrate the ranks of most secretive of the Alliance military forces: N7. The operatives were notoriously close-mouthed and clannish; the best bet was to identify either a veteran disgruntled with the service or a relative newcomer not yet fully initiated into the culture and gain their trust.

Talia Cousland's dossier had quickly been moved to the top of her list of prospective assets. The young Marine was a rebel, not afraid of defying authority. The twin tragedies in her past might have made her difficult to get close to, but they would also have left her hungry for the answers that the Alliance had been unable – or unwilling – to give her. A challenge, to be sure, but not one that had seemed insurmountable; exactly the type of challenge that Leliana relished, in fact.

She had fully expected her initial advance to be rebuffed, and she hadn't been at all certain that the ruse she had set up on the dance floor would work, though her research suggested that Talia Cousland was the type to aid someone in trouble. She'd guessed correctly there, but her research had also suggested that the Marine would be relatively easy to entice into a sexual liaison, which had not been the case, at all.

Not terribly surprising in and of itself; Leliana had been turned down before (though admittedly not often). What was surprising was not only Talia's continued restraint in the face of a mutual attraction that grew more potent at each meeting, but her own participation in the erotically charged game that they played. Seduction was an art that she had long since mastered, and as the weeks had gone on, it would not have taken much of a push from her to coax the sparks that danced between them into a consuming fire. Instead, she continued to play coy, letting Talia do the same, drawing close enough to feel the heat, feed the fire, then easing away at the brink of combustion, feeling a heady combination of frustration and anticipation that was new to her.

It was the challenge. She'd told herself that, and it was undoubtedly part of the truth … but only part. The rest of it was hard to define, and even harder to acknowledge, because the chemistry between them went beyond sexual attraction, into places that she had always kept carefully guarded. Her targets had fallen in love with her – or with who they thought she was – before; it was nothing that she encouraged, however, and she had become adept at disentangling herself from their emotions, letting them down easily. A handful of times, she had simply vanished, but always because they had gotten too attached; she'd liked most of them, been fond of more than a few, but any deeper emotions had been untouched, secure behind the barriers that she had learned years before.

Somehow, a one-eyed Marine with scars on body and soul had made it past her defenses without even trying. In the hours they had spent talking, Talia had drawn more of Leliana's own story from her than she had revealed to anyone before. Not all of it, of course, but as the soldier had opened up to her, sharing the pain of the loss of her family on Mindoir, the deaths of her squadmates on Akuze, Leliana had shared her own memories of her mother singing to her, her childhood on a farming colony devoted to viniculture, the day that childhood had ended with her mother sagging to the ground, just-picked grapes tumbling from limp fingers. She'd told more than she'd intended … felt more than she'd intended; the tears she had shed had not been entirely calculated, and the comfort she'd taken from the feel of Talia's arms around her had not been feigned.

So gentle. Hands that dealt death had touched her hair, her cheek, as though she were made of spun glass, and Talia had simply held her, not using the moment of vulnerability to push for greater intimacy. It would have been easy enough for Leliana to manipulate the situation to that end; lifting her head and letting their lips meet would have unleashed the fire that smoldered between them. Instead, she had let her head rest on Talia's shoulder, breathing in the freshly-showered scent of her and trying to get control of emotions that had never been part of her plan. Tenderness, yearning … guilt.

The secrets she had stolen thus far had been relatively minor. An offhanded complaint about the performance of a Hahne-Kedar sniper rifle that might give an edge to Elanus on the next round of bids on Alliance weapons contracts. A cocky remark as Talia was leaving on a mission that had provided enough warning to clear out a red sand operation ahead of the raid. In each case, a quick message to the Shadow Broker had resulted in the information being routed to the interested parties, with funds deposited in her account a short time later.

No one got hurt. That was what she had told herself each time, but she had known that it wouldn't matter; Talia would still view it as nothing less than a betrayal, and those comparatively trivial revelations had not been her ultimate aim. The kind of secrets that she had originally sought were the kind that could definitely get people hurt. Maybe killed. Maybe Talia.

Such concerns had never impeded her before … had never even occurred to her, to be honest. She was simply the information broker; what the buyer did with the information she provided was neither her concern nor her responsibility. For the first time in her life, guilt haunted her. Guilt and fear. An information broker could not be hampered by either and hope to survive long in the cutthroat world that spanned the galaxy, stretching alongside and beyond Citadel authority.

It had to end, but having given up on her ultimate goal, Leliana had been determined to claim a consolation prize. One night with Talia, and she would disappear, move on and forget about the Marine. She'd been well on her way to achieving her aim until the alert had sounded.

That had been three days ago, and while cold logic argued that the safest, sanest thing to do would be to pack up and go while Talia was deployed, something else held her in place as first one day, then a second, had passed without any word. They had been on longer missions, true enough, but never a level 4. Missions in the Alliance military were categorized by risk and priority. Level 4 indicated high priority, high risk: lives were at stake, combat all but certain. Such missions were dangerous, but they also tended to be short in duration, the objective attained – or not – in a brief but intense period. To have heard nothing – not from Talia, nor Erin or Alistair – had Leliana's stomach twisting into ever tighter knots. It would not be the first time that an entire unit had been lost on a mission, and given the nature of N7 operations, it was likely that the news would never be made public. Sitting here and waiting made no sense, but she had options unavailable to the average person, skills that she could put to use -

The chime at the door made her heart leap into her throat, and she paused to gather herself before moving to answer it, afraid to give the hope that fluttered in her chest too much power.

"Oh, God." The relief that washed through her as the door slid open to reveal Talia standing in the corridor shifted rapidly to consternation at the soldier's condition. Talia regularly sought her out when she returned from her missions, but always after taking the time to clean up, change clothes. This time, it looked as though she had done nothing more than ditch her armor. The BDU's that had been worn beneath it were dirty and torn in several spots. Her hair had largely escaped the normally neat braid that she maintained it in and was similarly disheveled, bits of debris clinging to the flyaway strands. Her face was smeared with dirt and blood, with a shallow cut scoring the line of her right cheek. No other visible damage, but her right eye had a distracted, unfocused look, and her expression was that of one still trying to absorb a tremendous blow. "Talia, what happened?"

The soldier didn't seem to hear her. "Can I come in?"

"Of course." She stepped back, watching in concern as Talia entered. She didn't appear seriously injured – not physically, anyway, but - "What's wrong?"

Again, Talia did not act as though her words had registered. "Half the damn lifts are being repaired," she complained with no real heat, her gaze still not quite in the present. "Just in time for the fucking weekend. Would've been easier getting here to just suit up and walk down the outside of the damn station. You'd think they'd know by now when -"

"Talia!" Catching her shoulder, Leliana forced the other woman to face her. "What is it? Erin and Alistair … are they -" She couldn't finish. She'd grown fond of the other two Marines, but worse than her own sorrow at their deaths would be what it would do to Talia.

Talia's forehead creased in puzzlement. "What? No, they're fine." She blinked, looking around, seeming to realize for the first time where she was. "Shit, I shouldn't have come here," she muttered, turning back toward the door. "Sorry, I wasn't thinking -"

"It's all right." Leliana intercepted her, reaching up to touch her cheek, wincing as her fingers traced the crusted blood. "I'm glad that you did. I was worried about you."

"I'm fine," Talia replied, closing her eye and leaning slightly into the touch, then looking down at herself with a grimace. "But I haven't showered since we left."

"You can use mine," she replied, grasping Talia's arm and drawing her in that direction. "I can order some food … are you hungry?"

"Not really," the soldier replied, but she allowed herself to be led. "Need clean clothes, though," she mused, fingering one of the tears. "Think these are shot."

"I'll take care of that," Leliana assured her, ushering her into the bathroom. "You get cleaned up." She waited for the nod of assent before she stepped out, but not until she heard the sound of the water running did she move to her communications console.

"She's there?" Shepard skipped the customary greeting. She looked no less bedraggled than Talia: hair mussed, face grimy, and the same haunted look in the green eyes.

"She's here," Leliana confirmed, "and you both look like hell. What happened, Erin?"

Shepard shook her head. "That's for Talia to tell you, but it wasn't good." Her gaze locked onto Leliana, the strength of her personality palpable even through a vidscreen. "Make her stay, will you? The two of you need to end this game you're playing; life's too fucking short."

"She's showering now," Leliana told her. "Could you bring some clean clothes for her. The ones she was wearing -"

Erin uttered a rough laugh. "Yeah, might as well burn them. I'll dig up something, but you damn well better make sure she doesn't get into them for a while." The bleak humor faded, leaving only a weary sincerity in the green eyes as she added, "I'm glad she's got you."

The screen went black before Leliana could reply, guilt churning in her belly along with a swell of sympathy for the other woman. Alistair was undoubtedly finding comfort in Erika's arms, and Talia did have her … for now, anyway, but Erin Shepard was alone, as she had been for most of the time that Leliana had known her.

She kept one ear attuned to the thrum of the shower, but it was still running when the chime at the door announced Shepard's arrival. The blonde looked even worse in person, but she waved off Leliana's concern.

"Take care of her," she said, nodding toward the closed door to the bathroom as she passed off the pile of neatly folded clothes.

"Who's taking care of you?" Leliana wanted to know. Erin quirked an easy grin that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Got a hot date with a cold beer," she quipped. "That and about ten years of shuteye should do just fine."

She was gone before Leliana could invite her in, leaving the redhead caught between guilt and relief. Talia would not have objected to Erin's presence, and the company might have done both of them some good, but …

She glanced toward the bathroom door, biting lightly at her lip. It would be easy to leave now. Leave a note with an excuse of getting food, and Talia would not look for her until long after she had hopped on a flight to the Citadel. It should have been easy … but it wasn't.

Laying the clothes on the foot of her bed, she approached the door, pausing outside to listen. No sounds from within but the shower. Running out of hot water was not an issue, but Talia had been in there for much longer than washing up would have required. After another moment, she pushed the door open and peered inside.

The bathroom was a no-frills affair: toilet, sink and shower, all of it cast in the same, slate-grey polymer with the bare minimum fixtures in stainless steel and a light panel set into the ceiling. An ionic curtain kept the water from the shower within the confines of the stall, but gave an unobstructed view of the lone occupant.

Talia stood motionless beneath the spray, head down, shoulders slumped, hands splayed flat against the wall in front of her, wet hair fallen forward to obscure her face. She was the picture of weary dejection, and yet, Leliana could not help drinking in the sight of her: more than she had ever been allowed to see before. The scars on her left side extended over that shoulder and across her back, the acid burns mingling with what looked like marks left by a savage lashing, pale against the dusky skin, stretched and faded with age, but still prominent enough to make it clear how agonizing they must have been when they were received. Beneath the scars and skin, the toned lines of her musculature were on clear display, and the designers of the prosthetic limbs had clearly sculpted them to mirror her anatomy, the lines of metal and polymer flowing seamlessly into flesh, though they remained uncamoflaged and obviously, defiantly artificial. She was magnificent.

Stepping inside, she closed the door quietly behind her, then slipped out of her own clothes, letting them fall to the floor. There was the faintest tingle over her skin as she stepped through the ionic curtain, the cooler air replaced by warmth and swirling steam. Talia did not move, did not speak, and for a long moment, neither did Leliana as she watched the slow rise and fall of her breathing. Stepping forward, she wrapped her arms around the trim waist, she pressed her lips to the scarred skin between the shoulder blades.

A shudder rolled through the muscles beneath her touch, and then Talia was turning in her arms, heated gazes locking for an instant before Leliana's lips were claimed in a fiery kiss.

God! Leliana had been kissed with lust and tenderness, passion and trepidation, and nearly everything in between, but she had never before been kissed with this kind of urgent hunger: as though she were oxygen, sustenance, life. The slow burn flared incandescent in a heartbeat, and she surrendered to it, tangling her fingers in the wet hair as Talia pressed her hard against the cool tiles, kissing her with a single-minded intensity that seared away everything but the need to do the same in return.

Then suddenly, Talia was pulling back. "This ain't right," the soldier muttered, looking guilty. "I shouldn't be using you to -"

"Hssssh." Leliana silenced her with a finger to her mouth. "I want this. I want you." She let her fingertip trace the swell of a lower lip, then slid her hand to the back of Talia's neck, drawing her down, teasing her with feather-light kisses and a flickering tongue, purring her approval as her lover pressed forward with renewed hunger, the cybernetic left hand cupping the back of her head as the kiss deepened thrillingly while Talia's right hand glided over wet skin: thigh to hip to belly to breast, cupping the soft flesh in her palm and kneading it slowly at first, but with rapidly increasing urgency.

Quick … God! This would be no slow exploration. Both of them had been denying themselves for weeks, and Talia's mood was the final tipping factor. Leliana willingly parted her legs at the press of a strong thigh, squirming closer as the cybernetic hand dropped to the small of her back to pull her closer still, skin sliding against skin in an urgent cadence.

"Yesss!" Leliana tipped her head back, baring her neck to Talia's ardent attentions, panting cries escaping her parted lips as her lover nipped and licked along the line of her racing pulse. The hand at her breast dropped, sliding over her belly and between her legs, fingers barely pausing to tease before plunging into her hard and deep.

She gasped, hooking her leg around Talia's hip, spreading herself wider for her lover and rocking to meet each thrust. Letting her head fall forward, she let her mouth play with the shell of Talia's ear, tongue flickering at the lobe. "Now," she panted, feeling herself hurtling past the point of no return. "God, yes, Talia, now!"

She came hard, her cries filling the tiny room, nails digging into Talia's skin as she held on tight, and Talia was relentless, keeping her pinned to the wall, writhing and crying out with each new surge of pleasure until she was utterly spent. She sagged forward, feeling deliciously boneless, trusting the strength of the arm that held her and the muscled body pressed to hers, feeling the rate of Talia's breath gradually slowing.

"That … went a lot faster than I intended," Talia spoke after a time, her voice husky. "Sorry."

"I'm not." Brushing a final kiss against Talia's shoulder, Leliana drew back until she could look into Talia's eye, rolling her hips against the fingers that were still within her and watching hunger flare in her lover's gaze. She wanted more. So very much more. "We have all night, after all."

OOO

"What happened?"

They had made it to the bed on their second attempt, and Leliana had stopped keeping track of anything at that point. She had no idea how much time had passed, but the last of the coiled tension had finally seeped out of Talia's muscles and her expression had grown relaxed enough that Leliana thought it safe to ask the question, her head resting on the other woman's shoulder, looking up into her face.

Talia was silent for a long moment, left arm snugged around Leliana's waist, the fingers of her right hand trailing idly through the red hair, her gaze growing distant, directed toward the ceiling.

"Batarians," she said softly, the hate in her voice no less palpable for it. "They raided a colony, but we got there before they were done. They took hostages and ran, we followed. We had their ship, so we figured once we cornered them, they'd use the hostages as bargaining chips."

"But they didn't." It was not a question, and Leliana tightened the arm that was draped across Talia's body.

"Nope." Talia's jaw clenched, mouth set in a grim line. "As we closed in, they killed the hostages. Then they surrendered."

"Merde," Leliana breathed. "All of the hostages."

"All of them," Talia confirmed in a tightly controlled voice. "Men. Women. Children. Seventeen in all."

"What did you do?" She could well imagine the way the strike team would have responded to such calculated brutality.

Talia snorted, lips curving into a mirthless smile. "Followed Alliance policy and accepted their surrender, what else? Shep was commanding, and she won't take a crap that's not authorized in the regulations."

"I'm sorry," Leliana murmured, stretching up to press a gentle kiss to Talia's cheek.

"It's done," Talia replied with a shrug, her expression set. "They're on their way to a prison that'll seem like a resort compared to the shitholes they normally live in, and 'We regret to inform you' messages are being sent to the families of the dead. Mission completed." She turned her head to look at Leliana. "And I don't want to talk about it any more." Her right hand drifted down, over Leliana's shoulder to the curve of her breast.

"All right," Leliana agreed, and pushed herself upright, shifting until she was straddling the soldier's hips. Capturing the wrist of the cybernetic left hand, she lifted it, pressing her own hand palm to palm. "Does it feel anything?" she asked, letting her fingers brush lightly over the synthetic skin. Talia had used it during their lovemaking, but only to hold Leliana in place, or to support her own weight. Teasing touches, caresses, penetration had all been done with her right hand.

"Depends on what you mean by feel," Talia replied. "It's pressure and temperature sensitive well past the limits of human tissues, all of it tied into my nervous system. It can crush a bone or catch a soap bubble, but it can't feel, not really." Her right hand came up, fingers grazing the curve of Leliana's cheek. "Can't feel this."

Around to trace the swell of her lower lip. "Or this."

Down along the line of her throat, feather-light, and Leliana felt her breath catch. "Or this."

Hunger gleamed in that single dark eye as the hand continued its journey south, a single index finger making a slow spiral inward on her breast, teasing the nipple into hardness. "Or this."

Lower still, fingers trailing across her belly with exquisite slowness. "Or this."

Then … finally … brushing lightly through auburn curls. "Or this," Talia whispered fiercely as she pressed inward.

So tempting, but Leliana resisted, grasping the wrist of that talented hand and pinning it and its inorganic counterpart above their owner's head. "Not so fast, Lieutenant," she purred, leaning down to steal a kiss. "My turn … or did you think I didn't notice?" While Talia had seemed to very much enjoy the sex, she had not climaxed even once, her focus entirely on pleasuring Leliana, and while it had been very, very pleasurable indeed, it hardly seemed fair.

"It's no big deal," Talia replied with a careless shrug. "Never really works for me with anyone. I'm sure the shrinks would have a field day analyzing it, but that's just the way it is. I can take care of myself when I'm alone. No sense in you wasting time when we could be having fun." She made a half-serious attempt to free herself, but Leliana held on.

"Would you care to wager on whether or not I will be wasting my time?" she challenged her.

Talia studied her like a wolf finding itself facing down a particularly feisty hare, an amused smile playing at her lips. "You're on. How much time should I give you?"

"If you find yourself keeping track of time, feel free to stop me," Leliana replied with a sultry smile, releasing her subject's wrists and devoting herself fully to the task at hand. Talia tried to maintain her poise, but the amusement on her face gave way to surprise, then rapt pleasure, and Leliana savored the feel of that beautiful, scarred body arching and shuddering beneath her touch, the sound of Talia's voice gasping out her name, the sight of her head thrown back, eye closed tight, hands clenching the sheets in a white-knuckled grip. Scarcely had the throes of her release passed when Talia twisted, pinning Leliana beneath her, and neither of them kept track of time for a good while.

"You are incredible."

Leliana opened her eyes and looked up into Talia's face, the expression there softer than she'd ever seen. "You're just now figuring that out?" she teased, reaching up and drawing her finger down the other woman's nose. Stretching up, she brushed a kiss over Talia's left cheek, just below the eye patch, then kissed a trail to that ear, nuzzling along her throat.

"You really do have a thing for scars, don't you?" Talia asked, amusement back in her voice, and Leliana drew back until their eyes met.

"Maybe I just have a thing for you." The playful words came easily to her tongue, but the truth behind them made her drop her gaze, struggling with emotions that she could ill afford until a gentle hand beneath her chin lifted her head until she was looking into Talia's face again.

"Maybe I've got a thing for you, too," Talia said softly, leaning in for a gentle kiss, then another, and then Leliana was drawing her back down, this lovemaking sweet and slow and so much more dangerous than any of the passion that preceded it.

It had to end. She knew it, and as she finally drifted towards sleep, Talia's front pressed to her back, a strong arm draped over her waist, she told herself that she would leave in the morning. Taking up Talia's hand, she brought it up between her breasts, covering it with her own hand as she snuggled her whole length back into the warmth behind her, feeling the contented rumble in her lover's chest, the kiss pressed to the back of her neck.

Just for tonight, she promised herself.

OOO

2185 CE, Normandy SR-2 in orbit over Hagalaz

"Lieutenant-Commander?"

Talia cracked open her eye on the third repetition. "Wassit, EDI?" she mumbled, still somewhere between awake and asleep. The AI had a tonal range that was considerably wider than the virtual intelligence units she'd worked with, and the words lacked the urgency that would have brought her fully alert at once, but EDI didn't usually bug her while she was sleeping.

"Leliana's vital signs and brain wave activity indicate that she is experiencing what humans call a nightmare."

The eye popped all the way open, and Talia glowered into the darkness of the shuttle. "And?"

"Commander Shepard instructed me to inform you if she experienced any difficulties."

Fuck you very much, Shep, Talia mouthed before adding aloud, "Can't you just call the doc, get her a sleeping pill or something?"

"Dr. Chakwas said that she has refused further sedation and suggested that your company might be beneficial." Was that damn computer smirking? It sure as hell sounded like it, but it didn't matter. She'd been double-teamed, and she knew better than to argue.

"All right," she groaned as she rolled off the bench seat. "But you can tell them both that they fucking owe me."

"I will relay the message." Oh yeah, the cyber-bitch was definitely smirking now, but at least she'd dialed the lights in the shuttle up low. Talia eyed the bag with her clean clothes in it, decided that changing was too damn much trouble when she intended to be done with the mission and back in her temporary bunk ASAP, and padded barefoot through the hangar to the elevator.

The ship was well into the night cycle, and with EDI's tireless vigilance, not even a skeleton crew was needed while they were in a stable orbit, which spared Talia the irritation of curious eyes watching. Even the medbay was dark, but she shot a pointed glare in that direction as she passed, just on principle.

She paused outside the closed door to her quarters, telling herself that she was listening, knowing that was bullshit. Cerberus was a bunch of assholes, but they'd built a damn fine ship (that they wouldn't be getting back). Individual compartments were pretty well soundproof, which meant that Talia could turn up her music as loud as she pleased, but which also meant that Leliana could be taking a chainsaw to the furniture without so much as a whisper audible out here.

Chickenshit. What the hell was she afraid of? Answer: not a goddam thing. Right? Right. Setting her jaw, she opened the door, stepped inside, eyes going first to the bed, which was empty, the sheets rumpled.

"Leliana?" She barely kept herself from using the diminutive again, hating how easy it was to slip up that way.

"What are you doing here?"

She spun, hand dropping to the sidearm that wasn't there, and immediately felt like an ass, because who else would it be but Leliana, rising from behind the bar.

"What are you doing there?" she shot back defensively.

"Getting a drink." The words had a touch of the old smoothness, but the eyes told another story, even as her hands were reaching for one of the bottles. She'd been hiding back there. "Care for something?"

"No thanks." There was a reason that she and Alistair had damn near come to blows over who would get this particular berth. First damn ship she'd served on with a wet bar. If she was feeling social, she even let her crewmates share. Al had lost the toss and grumbled all the way to the starboard observation. "EDI said you weren't sleeping well," she offered with a shrug.

"The A.I.?" Leliana asked, pouring three fingers of whiskey into a tumbler.

"V.I.," Talia corrected her.

The faintest of smiles. "That's no virtual intelligence," the redhead countered. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone."

"Who would you tell?" Talia asked, unable to keep the edge out of her voice despite feeling a bit bad about an admittedly cheap shot.

"True enough," Leliana agreed with a meekness that made Talia feel even worse. She tipped the glass up, drained half the whiskey in two swallows.

"Doctor Chakwas can give you something to help you sleep," Talia offered. It wasn't an apology, but it was as close as she was going to get.

Leliana shook her head. "I've been drugged enough," she declared, blue eyes daring Talia to comment as she drank the rest of the whiskey and stepped from behind the bar.

Any smartass remarks about drugs of choice were buried beneath the realization that the medbay-issue scrub shirt that the redhead was wearing was not matched by pants. The shirt covered her ass, but not by much, and even though the legs were still painfully thin, the skin still etched with scars, the sight stirred up memories that Talia had no intention of revisiting. She quickly shifted her gaze upward, but Leliana did not seem to notice, her attention focused on the floor-to-ceiling viewing port, through which Hagalaz was visible below, lightning flickering fitfully through the heavy clouds that obscured the surface of the planet.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Leliana said softly.

That wouldn't have been the first word that Talia would have chosen, but then, her evaluations tended to be focused on defensible versus exposed and other practical criteria. "Better up here than down there," she offered, stepping to the window, keeping a healthy distance between them.

Leliana nodded. "I never saw outside the ship," she mused. "I never saw outside ..." She trailed off, her lips tightening into a thin line and her arms crossing protectively. "It must have been dangerous," she went on at last. "Outside the ship, trying to get in."

Talia shrugged. "Just part of the job." N7's did the shit that nobody else was crazy enough – or good enough – to even try.

The blue eyes cut sideways to her, the look in them unreadable. "Yes," Leliana murmured, turning away from the window and moving back toward the bed, then the desk, her fingers trailing over the small music console.

Talia shifted slightly, feeling restless and awkward as hell. What was she doing here? "You gonna stay with Liara?" she asked, for lack of anything better to say.

"I don't know." Leliana shook her head, biting lightly at her lower lip. "I most likely will for now. I have nowhere else to go." The words were spoken without any hint of self-pity. "And I would imagine that the Alliance will revive the bounty on me once they hear that I am alive."

"They won't be hearing it from us," Talia replied gruffly, a bit miffed that she might have even considered it a possibility. "And Liara ought to be able to help you keep below the radar, set you up with a new identity."

"Yes." Leliana turned to face her, blue eyes serious. "I did not think that you or Erin would turn me in, Talia, but I do not know what Cerberus might do. I don't trust them."

"You're not the only one," Talia snorted, "but the crew of the Normandy is loyal to Shep. They'll all follow her lead, except Miranda, and she already knows that I'll cut her fucking throat if she crosses us."

"Alistair seems quite taken with her," Leliana observed, adding after a brief hesitation, "She reminds me a bit of Erika."

Talia didn't even try to contain the bark of derisive laughter. "Oh, sure … if Erika was a bioengineered bitch working for a black ops organization that has set up more clusterfucks than a whorehouse on Omega."

"Do you really think that Alistair would be interested in Miranda if that's all there was to her?" Leliana challenged her.

"Yes! No! I don't know," Talia snapped, irritated at the question. "His only criteria the whole time I've known him has been 'hot' and 'willing'." That this seemed to have changed for Miranda Lawson, regardless of her status as Cerberus' head cheerleader, had caused a sense of betrayal that she still had to wrestle down. He was her best friend, her brother in all but blood; she wanted him to be happy, but -

Leliana watched her. "It must be difficult to accept, after what Cerberus put you through," she offered, her tone careful.

"Figured that out for yourself, did you?" Talia inquired tersely, feeling the angry betrayal that she'd thought herself done with trying to rise. "Nice of you to give me a heads-up." The discovery of the connection between Akuze and Cerberus, uncovered during the hunt for Saren, had rocked Talia to her core, and the realization that Leliana had likely known long before that had been salt in a wound she'd thought long healed.

Leliana sighed. "After I … left, I was forbidden to have any further contact with you."

"After you left?" Talia stared at her, feeling the anger surging higher. "After you fucking sold me and fuck only knows how many other Alliance soldiers out to your boss and left me holding the bag, you mean?"

"Talia, I know how it looked, but I swear to you, I did not send that message!" Leliana protested.

She could feel the nails of her right hand digging into her palm, feel the pulse pounding in her temples. "I fucking saw it," she grated out. "Sent from your account – from your computer - to a blind drop linked to the Shadow Broker! Don't fucking tell me -"

"I wrote it, yes," Leliana admitted desperately, "but I deleted it. I couldn't send it; it could have gotten you killed! I don't know how -"

"Bullshit!" Talia roared, taking a step forward, but her rage evaporated at the sight of Leliana shrinking back against the wall, face pale and eyes wide with sudden fear. Fear of her. Six years ago … hell, six months ago, she would have relished the sight, but now - "Shit." She took a step back, then another for good measure, scrubbing her hand over her face and dragging her fingers through her hair. "I shouldn't have come," she muttered. The woman in front of her had been dragged through more than enough hell to have paid for any crimes she'd committed. Talia just needed to stay away from her until they left; Shepard and Chakwas could babysit, if they were worried. Spinning on her heel, she headed for the door.

"Don't go." The plea slowed her steps, but it was the whispered, "Please?" that brought her to a stop.

"What do you want from me?" she asked in a low voice. For years, she had imagined what she would say if she ever caught up with Leliana, but this wounded creature bore no resemblance at all to the confident and sensual woman she had known, or the unrepentant spy that she had dreamed of confronting.

"I just … don't want to be alone," Leliana said falteringly. "I don't want to be afraid."

Talia turned back to her, frowning. "There's nothing to be afraid of," she said, hoping that she sounded reassuring instead of impatient. Hand holding was not one of her specialties. "You're likely safer here than anywhere else in the galaxy. The yahg is dead, and nothing gets onto this ship without passing EDI."

"I know that." Leliana dropped her eyes, looking miserable. "I know it, but … I've forgotten how not to be afraid. For two years, I -" She broke off, swallowing hard before continuing. "Alone, I can't keep the memories out. When I woke up before, I couldn't remember where I was, what had happened." Her shoulders hunched, shame tinting the pale cheeks. "When you came in, I wasn't getting a drink. I was trying to hide behind the bar."

Talia remembered the nightmares she'd endured after Mindoir and Akuze, remembered the fear and grief, but both times, she'd had hate to warm the cold void that they left behind, give her something else to focus on. If there was any hate in Leliana, it was buried beneath the weight of the memories. "Stuff like that … it takes time to get over," she offered awkwardly, feeling like an ass for stating the obvious, but unsure what else to say.

"I know that, too," Leliana replied, nodding slightly, "but right now, it feels as if that is all that has ever been and all that ever will be. Please," she licked her lips nervously. "We don't have to talk. Just … stay? Dance with me?"

Do what? Talia stared at her in astonishment, but Leliana reached out to touch the music console with one thin hand, and slow music flowed from the speakers. Familiar music. Music she thought she had fucking deleted. "Leli, I -"

"Nothing else," Leliana said, dropping her eyes again, visibly bracing herself against rejection. "Just a dance … please?"

Well, crap. She could walk away from the music, the memories, but Talia could not refuse that fragile plea. She stepped forward cautiously, approaching the way she would a feral cat poised to flee, but Leliana moved to meet her without looking up, sliding thin arms up and around Talia's neck and leaning her head against the soldier's shoulder.

Then, she didn't move.

Talia waited, arms draped loosely around her, but after one awkward minute began to bleed into another, it fell to her to ease them into a shuffling sway that kind of matched the tempo of the music. Leliana followed her lead without speaking, never lifting her head. The song ended and another began, and Talia wondered if Leliana had set up the playlist ahead of time, how long this dance would last. It felt … dammit, it didn't feel like anything, because it didn't mean anything. It was just a favor she was doing for Shep and the doc and -

And Leliana was crying.

She didn't make a sound, her shoulders didn't shake, but Talia could feel the hot tears on her skin where Leliana had pressed her face into her neck. She didn't have any idea what to do, so she just kept them swaying, trying to ignore the tight knot of emotion trying to form in her chest, swearing silently that she was going to kick Erin's ass for getting her into this.

She felt Leliana's legs waver just in time to catch the redhead as her knees buckled, lifting her and carrying her to the bed. Putting her down, however, was not quite as simple.

"Don't leave me alone!" she begged, holding on tight.

"I'm not!" Talia gave up on freeing herself and sank to the mattress, ass over the edge as she tried to get as far away as she could without falling off. Of her own goddamn bed. "Shit," she muttered aloud without meaning to.

"I'm sorry," Leliana whispered. "I just need to feel safe."

"All right." Talia closed what distance between them she'd managed to open, wrapping her arms around the painfully thin body and drawing the light blanket over them both. "All right." Leliana snuggled in … and kept snuggling. It wasn't an attempt at seduction … more like an attempt to crawl right inside her skin … which left Talia still at an utter loss at what to do. She settled for stroking the red hair and making what she hoped were soothing sounds until Leliana stilled, her breathing deepening and slowing into the rhythm of sleep.

Leaving one marine alone with thoughts that were anything but restful. All the crap that she had very forcibly placed behind her six years ago was being dragged front and center. The whole damn ship knew about her past with the former spy, right down to EDI … which meant that Cerberus and the Illusive Man knew, just like they'd know about Liara taking over the Shadow Broker's gig. What if the asshole thought that targeting Leliana was a way to gain leverage over Talia?

Beside her, Leliana stirred, whimpering in her sleep. Talia froze, then gingerly resumed stroking her hair and making soft shushing noises until the other woman quieted once more, still holding onto Talia like a lifeline.

Damn it, stuff like this was exactly the kind of thing that could give the wrong impression to the wrong people, which was exactly why Talia would be skulking out of here early in the morning and telling Erin to belay any more attempts at engineering a warm and fuzzy reconciliation that was not happening. They'd be gone in a couple more days, Liara could take care of Leliana, and if Shep decided any further booty calls to Shadow Broker Central were in order, Talia could take shore leave on Ilos or Omega, because she did not need this shit.

Right? Damn right.

She would have bet a month's salary (not that she was actually getting paid for this gig, mind you) that sleep was not in the cards, but she must have dozed off at some point, because she missed the onset of the next cycle of nightmares until the point when her bedmate came up fighting.

"Leli – OW!" Nails raked down the side of her face, and when she corralled the flailing hands, a headbutt set stars dancing in her vision. "Leli, dammit, it's me!" she hissed, trying to be quiet, trying to be gentle, because the blue eyes held nothing but raw panic. The struggles stilled as the terror-filled gaze focused on her face, recognition dawning -

Without warning, she found herself dragged down, soft lips crashing into hers, fingers tangling in her hair preventing her from pulling away from the frantic kiss.

Not that she was trying to.

So. Damn. Easy. Muscle memory had nothing on this. It should have been scary, how easy it was, but Talia was busy trying to taste every bit of that sweet mouth, her hands slipping over Leliana's arms, her back, her hips, her thighs, some part of her mind appalled at just how thin the other woman was, but most of her intent on reclaiming what was hers.

A leg hooked around hers, teeth nipping hard at her throat, and Talia growled her approval, rolling until Leliana was beneath her. The switch flipped back as quickly as it had flipped on: passion back to panic, and Talia reacted instantly to the feel of Leliana suddenly going rigid, launching herself three feet away from the bed, the edge of her desk biting into her ass and her heart hammering triple-time in her chest.

"Sorry," she managed to get out, breathing hard, desire and guilt going head to head behind her eye. "Sorry." Shit, shit, SHIT!

"It's not your fault," Leliana whispered, huddled beneath the blanket.

"The fuck it's not," Talia rasped. What the fuck had she been thinking?

Don't answer that.

She pushed herself away from the desk in the direction of the door. "I'll … find somebody to stay with you," she promised. Somebody with something resembling self control.

"Talia, no, don't -"

Talia didn't let her get to the 'please' this time. "I'll find somebody else," she repeated through gritted teeth without looking back or stopping until the door closed behind her.

Actually, she didn't even stop then, and she was halfway to the elevator before she realized that Fearless Leader was planetside shagging the Shadow Broker. In her present mood, she would have simply commandeered the shuttle, but she realized that another suitable candidate was only the breadth of the ship away.

"Lieutenant Commander, Commander Theirin is -"

"Stow it, EDI," Talia snarled as she stalked along the corridor. The three of them had access to each others berths, and Talia didn't bother ringing the bell. "Look, I know it's late, but I need a – WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?"

"- currently engaged in an intimate encounter with Commander Lawson," the cyber-bitch finished smugly.

"Trying to take your advice," Miranda said calmly as she sat up, displaying her genetically engineered rack without a hint of self-consciousness. Not that she had anything to be ashamed of, but Talia would gouge out her other eye before she admitted that to anyone. Alistair was being self-conscious enough for them both, anyway: clutching a pillow over his lap and making sounds like a chicken being throttled. Like she'd never seen his dick before. Okay, maybe she'd never seen it in this context, but they had changed clothes and taken leaks within sight of each other regularly from N1 training on.

Taking a deep breath, she tried to gather the shredded scraps of her patience. "I need you to stay with Leliana tonight," she told him. "She's having nightmares and doesn't want any of Doc's pills."

"Why can't you stay with her?" he whined.

"I tried," Talia growled. "It didn't go well."

"It looks as though it was going fairly well from what I can see," Miranda remarked archly, her eyes on Talia's neck, where a hickey was no doubt visible.

She felt her hands curling into fists. "Look, bitch -"

"All right, all right." Alistair scrambled out of the bed and started jamming his legs into his pants. The truce between Talia and Miranda was a fragile one – on Talia's end, anyway – and he knew it. "I'm going, I'm going. Sorry," he offered lamely to Miranda, who accepted it with a shrug and a sigh.

"Another time," she said, reaching for her own clothes, then shooting Talia a pointed glance. "Do you mind?"

"What, the Illusive Man's the only one allowed to watch?" she taunted the Cerberus operative, though she, Alistair and Shepard had swept and cleared their respective berths of any bugs at the onset of this mission. But she did turn away, because she had no interest in watching. Cobras were nice to look at; didn't mean she wanted to bang one. "Thanks," she muttered to Alistair, feeling maybe the tiniest bit guilty … maybe.

He glared at her as he dragged his shirt over his head. "You so fucking owe me."

"Noted." The assorted adrenaline surges of the last fifteen minutes were receding, leaving weariness in their wake, but Talia knew that sleep would not be possible any time soon. "I'm gonna get a shower," she told him as she left.

A long, cold one.