Sasuke knew what he was doing was wrong, and other any other circumstances he most likely wouldn't be doing so but, he was stuck in bed recovering from the fight with Haku and everyone else had left him alone to rest. The stubborn Uchiha didn't like that one bit, he didn't like being told to do things, especially resting. So he decided he might as well make use of his time but he'd studied every scroll he and the dobe had with them far too quickly, leaving him with nothing to do. That is until he saw a familiar black and white notebook his teammate used as a journal and smirked. This was his reasoning for reading Uzumaki's private thoughts, and besides, after that fight he'd been wondering more and more about his blonde teammate, and thinking about that idiot so much was starting to bother the injured boy. Laying back with a soft groan, Sasuke opened the book to the entries from before the fight and started to read, knowing the others wouldn't be in to bother him for some time.

March 22nd

Yea, yea...this is my second entry of the day so what...I guess I was training a little too hard today, hehe... I sort of tehehe...but...I finally got the chakara exercise down. Ano sa, Ano sa...and Sasuke was actually sorta nice to me today. He even helped me back to Tsunami's house after we were done practice, oh Tsunami-san is the bridge builder's daughter by the way. Weird huh... I thought so too but hey maybe he's not so bad after all. It was actually kinda nice hanging out like that you know, just the two of us, it was almost like we were friends you know. Kakashi-sensei even said Sasuke an me get to help protect Tazuna-san tomorrow at the bridge. Hehe..I know standing around on a bridge all day watching over some old guy doesn't exactly sound like fun but it means he thinks we've improved. I'm really happy even if I didn't exactly beat Sasuke to the top, we both made it, and we kinda got along. So it was a really good day. Hmm I wonder if I'll see that guy I met in the woods again...oh well.. Hehe..I'm going to actually be part of the mission now. I have so much more I wanna say but we gotta wake up early tomorrow an I'm really tired...hehe I think even Sasuke was sorta happy today. He actually smiled for once..like really smiled not that stupid 'Uchiha-I'm-so-much-better-than-you' smirk thing he does. It was nice...I think I'd kinda like to see him like that more often you know. I've never seen him smile when anyone else was around though...hmm I wonder why he only smiles around me... eh...too sleepy to think... Ahhh...bed Mmm..see you tomorrow ...

March 24th

Woah... I've got so much to tell you today, you'll never believe it. I was totally the hero yesterday. First I got left behind by Sasuke, Sakura, Kakashi-sensei, and the bridge builder, they left me sleeping because Kakashi-sensei thought I needed to rest. Pff..me..rest? Right...anyhow I threw on my clothes an got ready in a flash then ran like hell to get to the bridge. I can't believe they didn't wake me up. As I was running through the woods I saw all these sliced up trees and a boar with sword slashes all over it, which was freaky. It looked like someone was using them for sword practice. I started to worry when I saw the boar, then I realized the damage was headed back to the house where I'd just left Tsunami-san and that Inari kid so I rushed back and just in time cause there were these samurai that attacked Tsunami and Inari. Tehhehe...I used kawarmi and was able to rescue them just in time hehehe... I had to you know..I felt bad for yelling at Inari the night before so.. I guess that was like my way of saying I didn't mean it. I apologized anyway before taking off ...I knew my team needed me..seeing as those bastards that attacked Tsunami an Inari worked for the same guy that hired Zabuza to kill Tazuna-san.

I got to be the hero there too. It was great. I got to save Sasuke...even though I don't remember that much of it. See Haku has a bloodline-limit, like the Uchiha's and sharingan sort of...it's the same kind of thing though. Haku used Ice...he made this ice mirror jutsu and used his reflection somehow to move faster than our eyes could see. It was kinda creepy but he would come out of the mirrors and attack us with these needle things he threw, while traveling to another mirror. At first I didn't know what was going on and got hit a lot..Right from there on we tried to work as a team, and find some way to defeat Haku. Sasuke said he could almost see what Haku was doing and his timing. We started to get it down, attacking when he was out of the mirrors and hoping his chakara would get used up soon. It worked for a little bit but then Haku changed his timing and threw us off.

I remember at one point a few of the needles went really deep and I couldn't move out of the way to dodge the next round of them, I thought it was over for me but Sasuke jumped in front of me...he blocked me from getting hit by using his body as a shield. I couldn't believe it, I mean...I thought Sasuke hated me and I'm sure he'll say it was teamwork or something equally as stupid but..I mean... um.. I don't remember much after that...just little pieces...Sasuke falling, me thinking he was d..dead...then a strange red chakara was around me.. I couldn't control myself though it was kind of like watching through someone else's eyes. The world started to look strange and everything happened so quickly.

I kept thinking he killed Sasuke, and somehow that hurt, it made me really angry, and I thought of all the things he'd never get to do. I was angry I couldn't protect him and how he jumped in front of me like he did. I kept seeing him in my mind as I fought. The next thing I remember was grabbing Haku as he was going into one of the mirrors and punching him so hard he flew through the ice mirrors and the sound of them shattering. I was running and about to hit him again when the mask broke and fell off. He was bleeding and asking Zabuza to forgive him for failing. That's when I realized...he was the boy from the day before..in the woods...I stopped...I couldn't hit him I don't know why I guess...I just remembered how he was that time. How he reminded me of what I should have been fighting for all along. Not to become Hokage for acknowledgment but for those important to me. My friends... like the time I fought to protect Iruka-sensei.

Then he had to go and remind me about Sasuke...saying I should be able to kill him because he killed my 'precious friend'. I saw Sasuke again, with the blood and those needles sticking out of him and I threw Haku to the ground but still I couldn't kill him. It was strange but I kept flashing back to the day we met in the woods and to what he said but something wasn't right. How could someone like that follow someone like that Zabuza bastard? He told me about his parents, how they were killed...His father killed his mother...because his mother was from an advanced bloodline. She had concealed that she had an advanced bloodline because in the village they lived in those with advanced bloodlines are hated, used for weapons in war...people hated them for the misfortunes brought about by the wars. When Haku found his mother dead, he killed his father for what he had done. Haku said Zabuza was the first person to accept him, even if the selfish bastard only wanted to use Haku as a tool for himself, Haku felt wanted for the first time and so he was happy. That's why he called Zabuza his most precious person and I guess in a way I understand.

I mean...I know what it's like to be hated, to be unwanted for just the fact that you exist. It's sort of like the way I feel about Iruka-sensei... he was the first to acknowledge me, and I know I'd do anything for him because he accepts me for who I am...he doesn't hate me like the others because of that ..thing..inside me. But Iruka-sensei would never ask me to do something so selfish and Iruka isn't a criminal missing-nin either. I'm not sure I could feel the same about him if he was but...I see why Haku feels like he does, even if just a little bit.

Then, just as I was about to fulfill Haku's wish and kill him, he stopped me and before I knew it he'd stepped in front of Zabuza as Kakashi was about to kill him with chidori. Haku died to save Zabuza stepping into chidori at the last second. I guess I was a little in shock because I only remember pieces after that. That Gatou guy showed up at some point. Then...then Gatou kicked Haku...he was dead...I mean...that's just wrong...and Zabuza, he just stood there and gave me this speech about how shinobi are nothing more than tools and that Haku meant nothing to him. Even though Kakashi-sensei told me not to...I couldn't leave it that way. I mean Haku...the way he talked about Zabuza...he..he really loved him. I guess I was kind of too upset...I couldn't stop the tears it just wasn't right, how can you have someone love you that much and feel nothing for them. Then something amazing happened, Zabuza turned an I swear I saw tears, then he went...with both arms broken, and killed Gatou, even though he had to run through this huge crowd of Gatou's men to do it. He got hit I dunno how many times but still fought till Gatou was dead. Even knowing he was going to die he took Gatou down with him...it was for Haku.

That's when Sakura yelled to me...Sasuke wasn't dead...and I don't know why because well Sasuke is still kind of a jerk to me but, I just was really glad he wasn't dead and I knew it meant Haku had done it, he'd been trying not to kill us all along. Oh Gatou's gang tried to take us down after that but Inari managed to get the people of the island to come out and stand up for them selves, tehhehe Kakashi-sensei and I used Kage bunshin no jutsu to scare them off too. Kakashi gave Zabuza his dying wish and laid him next to Haku so he could be near him while he died and it started to snow, Haku told me he was from a snowy village. It's still kinda sad to think about them...an Sasuke almost dying. I'm still not sure what that means, that it effected me so much but I think it's something that'll sort it self out. I just know I don't want any of my friends to die any time soon...Sasuke either.