Chapter 17: Breakdown
His eyes were an almost acidic green with black taking over the whites of his eyes, and he could feel the warmth in his chest, the smoke coming out of his nose. He was doing it!
It took him several tries to maintain the shift while also channeling his flame, but when he did the small burst of neon green flames startled him into a fit of giggles.
He danced around his mentors office, hovering above the ground at the end of it. He turned to see his mentor had also partially shifted and as he man sent a deep dark flame towards him, Harry's heart fluttered. He blushed since he knew his mentor could hear it, and before he could give in to his instinct to kiss the man, he shifted back to normal and left the room.
He needed to get away from the man before he ruined whatever friendship they had been working on.
Days became weeks, and as those weeks shifted towards a month away from his mentor, Harry found himself buckling under the changes in his life.
Ron hated him, had actually said those words to his face, and taunted Harry about every guy he's ever talked to. He even believed that he was used in the tournament last year because Harry had some sort of crush on him.
Harry simply said he didn't like red headed prats and smiled a mockingly sweet smile across the table, furthering the gap between them. A few of the muggle born and muggle raised backed Ron up, picking on how his body looked, and how it should have been a dead giveaway, but others like Hermione stuck with Harry.
A lot of the purebloods were on his side, if only for the fact that they also had creature inheritances, or just to rile up the muggle borns who didn't know that it was normal to be gay in the wizarding world.
This just made people be more open in their relationships, or really in who those relationships were with. Turns out the house rivalry wasn't as deep as most believed it was.
Even Malfoy had something to say as he was part Veela, and wanted to poke fun at Ron again.
In the background of the schoolyard drama, was the faculty drama, that Harry only really heard about from his mentor.
The man told him to watch out for Umbridge and to keep as low of a profile as possible, but Harry only told the man that she had been giving him detentions for simply voicing his opinions.
This led him to telling his Professor about the blood quills, and how he wasn't the only one being told to use it.
Snape was truly livid by the time his mate left the room. How dare that woman make her students write lines with an illegal item?! He would see to it that she got exactly what was coming to her.
No one, and that means NO ONE was allowed to hurt his gem, lest they wanted to be dealt with by two angry dragons and a affluent pureblooded family, each with a valid claim on Harry.
She would pay.
HPSSHPSSHPSS
The year seemed to get worse and worse for Harry, as his friendships were falling apart, his mentor revealed that he had been called back to serve the Dark Lord, and he and Harry could not be caught together in any way other than in the form of a detention.
The Headmaster had decided to force Harry into taking occlumency lessons with his mentor, which Harry truly was happy about, and Umbridge was still putting pressure on the entire staff and student population.
The lessons were for the most part ok, as Harry already had a rudimentary mind shield due to his dragon DNA, but he was still susceptible to the more harsh attacks, which meant heavy training days and lots of frustration.
Harry was still coming to terms with his crush on his mentor, but the man had regretfully already reverted back to being the greasy git of the dungeons. He played his part well, antagonizing Harry as much as possible, and Harry tried to keep up, but the sudden visions he was having from Voldemort always knocked him a bit sideways.
He was constantly dreaming of a long hallway, that led to a singular door. Every night he had an immense need to open the door, to see what was inside, but his mentor and the Headmaster had warned him against it. They knew these were no mere dreams, and as Snape told Harry what was really going on, the boy vowed to get better at closing his mind.
It turned out to be a bust either way, as Harry had only succeeded in pushing into his mentors mind and seeing the man as a child being held down by a woman at least twice his age before she was being burned by the young Snape.
Snape pushed him from his mind and cut the lesson short, he didn't want his little mate to see such things, he didn't want the boy to think that things of that nature were all that awaited him. He explained a bit about that part of his past, but in the end, sent Harry away feeling more confused and upset on his mentors behalf.
Time dragged, Dumbledore fled, and Umbridge took over the school as Headmistress. The school had refused to acknowledge her as such, so she was only Headmistress in name.
The toad was a menace, and after passing several new rules for the professors and nitpicking their classes and teaching styles, she deemed them all unworthy of teaching. They apparently gave the students too much free will, let them speak out against the truth of the Ministry, and above all else, Potter was still going around and undermining the Ministry's stance in the war by insisting that the Dark Lord was back.
Harry was trapped between two rocks, a hard place, and a cliff, and he only had a small portion of land to walk on.
He found the animosity from some of the Gryffindor boys ramped up even further during this time, and even with the new truce of sorts between Harry and Malfoy, the two were still at odds with one another.
One day, Harry had been absolutely shattered from a dream that his godfather was stuck in the room he kept dreaming about. He didn't know where exactly it was but he knew it was in the ministry.
He had tried to talk to his mentor about it several times, but he never had the chance to say more than a few words before they were interrupted. After a fight broke out between Harry and Malfoy, they were called to the Headmaster's office, where Umbridge tried to force Harry into telling her what he knew.
Snape was called to supply her with Veritaserum, though it was illegal to use on children, and he simply told the woman that she had gone through his stores and would have to wait a while before he could brew more.
He had some left, but he knew when he saw his gem, that things were going to get bad, and soon.
As he left the room, he heard Harry call out to him. That 'they' were keeping snuffles in the place that it was hidden.
Snape brushed it off for the moment, telling the pink clad toad that he had no idea what the boy was talking about. On his way out however he shot his mate a look that said he'd look into it.
Harry calmed himself a bit, and after leading Umbridge into the forbidden forest where she insulted the centaurs and was dragged into the woods, he found his friends.
Night had already begun to fall, and as he got his rescue team together, telling them about what he knew, they all ran off to find the Thestrals. They would need to get to the Ministry soon, and find Sirius before something bad truly happened.
Harry knew he should have waited, and even with Luna telling him the same, his panic seemed to take over, and he ignored his instincts, hopping onto one of the frighteningly beautiful beings and leading them to the Ministry.
This would lead to another death that Harry would carry on his shoulders. Voldemort had already started up his torture and murders again, and Harry had the misfortune of feeling each curse as they were cast. He had taken to using silencing charms around his bed at night, and he knew that if Sirius was truly there, he would not last very long.
Meanwhile Severus was getting a bad feeling in his gut, he had already contacted the newly reinstated order, and told Albus about Harry's recurring visions. He had even spoken to Sirius and warned the man against going. He would deal with Lily's treasure and make sure the boy stayed safe.
But that was not meant to be, for as soon as Harry entered the Department of Mysteries, he and his group were beset upon by a group of Deatheaters and Voldemort.
The friends held their own for a good bit of time, and it wasn't until the Order members showed up that everything really went southward.
Sirius was never trapped in the department, and Voldemort only wanted Harry there so he could take the prophecy and try once again to kill his teenaged nemesis.
The Deatheaters were fighting tooth and nail against the Order members, and as Harry and his friends were told to leave, everything just got exponentially worse.
Sirius was fighting Bellatrix Lestrange, the woman-- Harry had learned-- was his godfather's cousin, and as they fought she cackled dementedly. They taunted one another, and as the man laughed at her, he was hit by the killing curse.
Face frozen forever in a laugh, he was thrown backwards before his body dissapeared through the Veil.
Harry was devastated, as he had only just started getting to know the man, and when he tried to reach the man he was held back by Remus.
Dumbledore and Voldemort were fighting, both lost in their battles, and Harry felt an uncomfortable amount of pain and heat and anger towards Bellatrix.
A loud wail escaped him, deafening many of those around him, and even he needed a moment to realize that it had come from him. He broke away from Remus and charged at the demented woman, his nails becoming thick sharpened claws as he hissed and ripped at her skin. She was screaming, shooting spells at him, and yet still cackling as she taunted him.
A flame ripped it's way through him, and as he watched the woman burn, he was once again pulled away.
She had just managed to weakly put out the flames when the door had burst open once again.
The fight was winding down a bit, as Auror members and the Minister had come upon the scene and saw just who was there.
The Aurors looked at one another as they jumped into action, restraining any death eater they could see. So the kid was right about the Dark Lord being back?
They were a bit petrified to be in this situation on what was a usually normal shift, but they were trained for this and it wasn't long until the Deatheaters and their leader retreated.
Harry was whisked away from the scene, though his heart still bled, and his anger still made itself known.
After the group was back at the school, Harry was pulled away once again, this time by his mentor. The man had made an appearance during the fight, but left just as he heard the minister's voice down the hall. He had waited until he could hear the group of light wizards and witches retreating before he discreetly pulled his little mate into an abandoned classroom.
As usual he put his normal charms in place, and placed a hand on the back of Harry's neck. He allowed his nails to grow into claws, which alternated between just squeezing and gently nicking at Harry's skin. The boy was half shifted and blowing puffs of smoke and fire out into the darkness of the room.
This calmed Harry down enough to listen to the elder mans words.
"Calm yourself, or everyone will know the best ways to hurt you."
"Everyone? Or just you Snape?!" Harry seethed, pulling himself away from the older dragon. "You promised me you would keep him safe! You didn't say it, but you also didn't have to!! You promised me that you would look into it, or help me keep him safe but you didn't!" He screamed, and he cried.
"You hated him enough to let him go into that room, you didn't even stop him!!" He cried, pushing the man away and throwing a fit, destroying the contents of the room and hitting his mentor repeatedly with several items he found lying around.
"You hated him!!" He yelled, crumpling against a far wall and hugging his legs to his chest.
Across the room his mentor was standing, surrounded by the debris and littered with small cuts and bruises from his mates claws and fists. He was not in pain from the violence, but seeing his gem almost wail in his grief sent him into a state of unease.
"Harry. I did not hate Black, at least not enough to wish the man dead." He tried to explain. His little mate only shook his head in denial, before standing.
Harry looked so defeated, and like he didn't know who to turn to anymore. He slowly reached for the door and asked to be let out, and Snape complied.
The door was unlocked, and Harry could feel something in him protesting his next words, but he spat them out anyways, "I hate you..."
The sentence was whispered, but when the boy left, he did not turn back. He could hear as the wards crumbled and the loud thump as his mentor hit the ground. He knew that he was being unfair to the man, but at the moment he could only think of his loss. He shut himself away again, now with even less ground to stand upon. The rocks were pushing him ever closer to the cliff, and he had nowhere else to go.
Severus was kneeling in the now destroyed classroom, trying to keep a part of himself from breaking away completely. Harry had almost severed their bond with only a few words. The only thing that saved Severus from spiralling out of control, was that his gem hadn't acknowledged the bond when he left the room.
He knew his mate was having a hard year, and he knew that it was his promise that had lulled his mate into thinking that he could galavant into the ministry with no consequences.
The boy was right. He hadn't even had to speak in order to make that promise, and he had been unable to keep it, but that did not make the entire situation his fault.
For over an hour he stayed in that position, as rubble dug into his flesh and ripped at his clothes. He tried desperately to justify the turn of events, to keep himself from falling deeper into the hole that Harry's declaration had created.
Picking himself up from the ground, he slowly made his way to his quarters. Harry could hate him, he could be his mates enemy for as long as the boy needed, so long as his mate never rejected their bond. He knew he would not last long if that came to be.
HPSSHPSSHPSS
Time continued to pass, and as Harry fell deeper into his depression, he pulled further away from his friends and family. He just wanted to be alone, but at the same time he didn't want to be left alone with his own thoughts.
Snape had stopped talking to him, hadn't really even acknowledged him in the days since his stupid mouth had opened to say those three words.
The man was an angry shell, going with the motions and steadily becoming angrier as the time passed.
He hadn't sent Harry a message, hadn't looked his way during class, he just acted like he didn't exist in Harry's world.
And Harry couldn't blame him, he had practically told the man to leave him alone, and that thought stuck daggers in his chest.
He had pushed his mentor away, and he was the reason why the mans eyes never seemed alive anymore. He hadn't known that telling the man he hated him would cause so much damage, but now he had to figure out a way to reverse it.
Even on that day he had known the man wasn't to blame for Sirius. He knew that a big portion of it fell on Voldemort for tricking him, and on himself for allowing it.
He knew that Snape was only to blame for not restraining Sirius, since they should have known he would show up anyways.
Bellatrix Lestrange held a large portion of that blame, for she had been the one to cast that forsaken spell at her cousin.
Sirius himself was also to blame, for trying to come to Harry's rescue. And Minister Fudge was to blame for not believing the danger that was right behind him up until it showed its face.
Weeks passed the school by, and Harry had his plan. He would use his map to corner the man in his office, then apologize for what he said. It had been much too long since he had spoken to the man, and he needed to clear the air before they went home for the last break of the school year.
Using his cloak and map, Harry found his mentor sitting in one spot just past his office, and when he found out where the man was he was shocked.
Snape was sitting in the potions storage of his office, staring up at the ceiling of the small room. His eyes were halfway closed and his breath was ragged, as slow plumes of black smoke escaped his lungs. He was barely holding on to his human form it seemed, and Harry began to feel even more guilty than before.
Stepping into the room, he closed the door and took off his cloak. A couple of small steps later, and he was able to sit beside the man he seemed to owe his life to.
Snape did not look at him now either, though the air around him seemed to crackle with unknown energy. Harry took a deep breath and started his apology.
"Sir, I don't hate you. And I'm sorry I said all of that. I didn't mean to hurt you, and I wanted to apologize for making you think I did." He turned towards his mentor, who's brows were furrowed, as if he was in a deep mind fog.
"What?" The man asked, his voice low and almost too calm. He spoke in Parseltoungue, and Harry now understood that the man really could not understand him in that moment.
After repeating himself in the snake language, Harry tried to pull the man out of his seated position, only to find himself pulled into a hug.
The Dragon sniffed at his skin, and flicked out his tongue, the tip of the forked appendage brushing lightly against Harry's neck.
The emerald eyed boy blushed, but knew that his mentor was only re-scenting him. He hadn't been in the mans immediate presence for almost a month, and he understood.
It didn't change the fact that the hands gripping his waist, or the soft strokes of the mans tongue was doing things to his body that he hadn't expected. The biggest change was that he began to feel almost... wet, where his new parts were concerned.
His eyes widened, and he knew that wherever his mentors tongue or hands touched would always send shivers down his spine. His legs ached to tense up, and yet he stayed in place, knowing that if he moved, moaned, or even spoke, the deliciously innocent movements would end.
He was unprepared for the changes, but it wasn't until Snape moved away that Harry regained control of himself. He wanted to pull the mans face back into his neck, he wanted to let the slow build up of arousal wash him away, and more than anything he wanted the Dragon to do so much more to him.
Snape blew a black flame into his direction, and Harry responded almost instinctively with a green one of his own.
It wasn't long after that when Snape regained his senses and pulled away from Harry. The boy almost let out a concerning chirping sound-- a distinct Siren trait, he note--, but held it back in time to resituate himself next to the older man.
For the next ten minutes they spoke in hushed tones, still seated on the floor of the mans potion storage room. Harry once again apologized and Snape explained some of what happened to make him act the way he had.
He didn't tell Harry the full story, and sent the boy away before he could ask, but Harry knew something deeper was going on with the dark Dragon.
It would just take a while for him to find out that that too was his fault.
HPSSHPSSHPSS
After reconciling with his mentor, Harry found himself being at the center of attention again. He was just starting to act like his normal self again, and that was around the time when Hedwig came up to him, holding a singular blue rose in her grasp. There was no note attached to it, no letter or hint as to what it meant or who it was from. But Hermione was right next to him in the hall when it happened, and she wasted no time in explaining what it meant.
"Someone is trying to court you Harry." She explained softly, though half the students around them heard it anyways. "The rose is a universal sign of long lasting love, and the blue color is meant to be a clue as to who is asking to court you." Harry nodded, dumbfounded that anyone wanted to court him.
"Why doesn't it have a letter, or clue besides the color?" He asked, letting the girl lead him from their last class towards the Ravenclaw dorms.
His sisters and Luna were all there, or on their way, so he knew what his friend was leading him to. Hopefully they could help.
