Chapter ten

A banquet of issues

The dining table was covered with an excellent spread of food. Peach's poffins were beautiful centerpieces for a sumptuous three-course banquet, loaded with all sorts of dishes hand-picked to cater to everyone present. It was a shame, then, that not everyone was present.

"So the Pokemon won't be joining us?" Peach asked.

"They will not," Mewtwo said. "Many prefer to take their meals in solitude. In any case, a dining table is no place for a Pokemon."

"I understand," Peach said. Still, that didn't account for every absent face.

"Miss Aran has also chosen to take her meal in her own quarters," Mewtwo added, somewhat sadly.

"Link, too," Zelda said, almost apologetically. "He prefers the quiet."

"Not a problem, not a problem," Peach said hastily. "Just wanted to make sure everyone's accounted for, that's all. We're just waiting for Meta Knight, then?"

"He ain't coming," Dedede said flatly. "Said he had business to attend to." He shrugged.

This time, Peach was prepared for the disappointment, so she took it in stride. "Well, in that case, we aren't waiting for anyone, are we? Let's dig in."

The gathered fighters all began to eat, some noisily, others quietly. Peach, at the head of the table, looked at each person in turn, from the villains on her left to the heroes on her right.

Bowser ate ravenously, starting with his portion of poffin and chasing each bite with a mouthful of roast. He was a messy eater, but seemed to be attempting to make use of what little table manners he possessed, wiping his fingers on his napkin after licking them. He'd also taken the largest slice of poffin of anyone, and had made no complaints about its burnt texture. Peach had to smile over the irony – what little power she held over him, she did so with her cooking.

Ganondorf sat next to him, although she couldn't fathom why. He had forsaken the poffins entirely, filling his plate with meats and cheeses. Dedede made up for this by consuming mainly fruits and sweets. Wario, of course, had a full plate and zero manners, while Dark Pit had a little of everything and ate quietly. Wolf gnawed on a hunk of meat, as rare as the chefs had been permitted to make it. Bowser Jr. didn't seem to be eating much, as he was more concerned with tossing food back and forth across the table with the Inklings when his father wasn't looking.

On the heroes' side, she saw far less variation. Olimar had mostly fruits, while Captain Falco had all meat, but other than that, they mostly stuck to their own regional favorites. And then, of course, there was Pit and Palutena.

Pit slouched, slowly picking at his food with a fork. He took one bite for every four that most of them took. Palutena was more discreet, for better or worse. She sat with perfect posture, hands folded on the table as she made polite conversation with those to either side of her. Occasionally, a piece of food would simply vanish from her plate – not a bite at a time, but all at once, like magic. If you weren't paying attention, you might not even notice that anything was wrong. But she was paying attention.

Zelda nudged Peach under the table. She glanced at the poffin in front of her, then at Palutena. Peach nodded subtly.

Zelda cleared her throat. "Palutena, you have to try some of this strawberry poffin, it's absolutely divine," she said. She passed down a plate with a slice of poffin.

Palutena wiped her immaculate mouth with a napkin. "I'm sure it is, Zelda – everything has been wonderful." She looked at Peach, who muttered her thanks. "But I'm rather full right now." She gestured at her empty poffin plate, which had contained 80% of her original poffin mere seconds ago, as if she expected them to believe she had wolfed the whole thing down. "I have to watch my sweets, these days. They go right to my thighs."

Dark Pit snorted. "What thighs?" he sneered.

Palutena froze. Her smile remained on her face, but her eyes told a different story entirely. Her hands, still resting on the table, began to tremble.

Pit pounded the table with his fist, drawing their attention to him. "That wasn't funny," he said, pointing at Dark Pit angrily.

"I thought it was," Dark Pit said, folding his arms. "Maybe it's like a square meal, and you just aren't getting it."

Wario let out a guffaw of laughter. Nobody else did. Across the table, the heroes stared at Dark Pit, appalled. Even some of the villains seemed shocked.

Pit shook himself. "We don't have to take this, you know," he said. "Come on, Palutena, let's-" He turned to his side, only to realize that Palutena was already gone, teleported away. "Lady Palutena!" he shouted, standing up and dashing out of the room.

Zelda glared at Dark Pit. "I hope you're happy," she said. But he seemed anything but.

Dark Pit looked down at his lap. Glumly, he pulled at his maroon sleeve. "They weren't supposed to leave," he muttered sadly.

Zelda frowned, confused. "Then what were they supposed to-"

"It doesn't matter, okay?" Dark Pit shouted. "She didn't do what either of us wanted her to do, because she's stubborn!" He reached out and grabbed Pit and Palutena's plates, dragging them out of Wario's range before he could snatch them. Then, ears red, he stomped out of the dining room.

The room was quiet, a thick, awkward silence hanging around them. Bayonetta, having watched intently as the whole thing unfolded, poured herself another glass of wine and filled it to the brim. After some time, Rosalina stood up. "I'll go check on them," she said, pushing her chair in.

"Thanks, Rosa," Peach said as she passed by. She then turned back to the table, trying to pretend their number hadn't just diminished by four.

More silence. It was as if you could hear the clock ticking.

Daisy cleared her throat. "Hey, Bayonetta," he said. "Is there any more of that wine?"

Bayonetta emptied her own glass. "D'you know what, I was wondering the same thing," she said, tapping her fingers on the empty bottle. "Meta Knight must have a stash somewhere around here." She stood up. "Let's go find it, eh?"

"Uh, that's okay," Daisy said. "It's not that big of a-"

"Balderdash," Bayonetta said. She slung an arm around Daisy's shoulders, an action she had to bend over to perform. "We've got the right to get drunk, don't we? It's the staff that's failed us for not providing enough drink!"

"Uh, I guess?" Daisy said uncertainly. She allowed Bayonetta to stand her up, then lead her from the room, the taller woman swaying only slightly.

Peach fought a strong urge to rub her temples.

At least it's better than Bayonetta drinking alone. I guess.

Before this silence was allowed to fester, Fox nudged Falco. "Hey, where's Wolf?" he asked.

Falco looked. The gray wolf was nowhere to be seen. "Maybe he snuck out to cause trouble," he said.

Fox sighed in an exaggerated way. "Agh, what a pain," he said. "Excuse us, Peach. We'll take care of this."

"You can wait until the end of the meal," Zelda said, recognizing their ploy in an instant. She pointed a finger at the two of them, who shrank back from it as if it were the finger of Master Hand himself. "We haven't finished dinner yet."

"No, it's fine."

Zelda turned, with some surprise, to Peach, whose composure and posture had finally begun to crack.

"They don't want to stay, they don't have too," Peach continued. "We're not their princesses."

She still kept her face neutral, but her attempt to keep her voice peachy was a lost cause. The heroes all at in place, feeling guilty for their desire to leave. The villains, however, had no such compunctions, and they all got up and left – except for Wario, who merely grabbed whatever plates they didn't take with them. With the precedent established, the heroes then began to leave one by one. Mario was one of the last to move, but with a reassuring nod from his princess, he left as well.

Only once the room contained only three people – Peach, Zelda, and Wario at the far end of the table – did Peach fully drop the façade. She let out a deep groan, and her head banged on the dining room table. "Some dinner, huh, Z?" she muttered, voice muffled.

Zelda patted her on the back. "It's okay, P," she said. "This wasn't your fault."

"Well, it still happened, didn't it?" Peach said, propping herself up on one elbow.

"Perhaps this was a bad idea from inception," Zelda said. "We're all suffering from some unknown dark influence, and placing all such volatile personalities so close together was bound to draw something out."

"So what do we do, then?" Peach asked.

"Well, I'll eat here, and you can eat there," Zelda said, pointing to Peach's seat. "And the rest of them…well, they'll eat where they please, with whom they please."

Peach smiled. "That'll do, I guess." She raised her glass and clinked it with Zelda's.

xxxxxxx

Link sat in his room, silently eating his dinner. He ate quickly, wolfing his food down as fast as he could. It was nice to not be constrained by table manners, though that wasn't the reason he chose to eat alone.

The room was sparsely populated – a bed, a table and chair, a chest for his clothes, and little else. Empty space abounded, giving him plenty of room to stretch out. Since most of the other swordsmen hadn't yet been picked up, he spent a lot of his time here, just lying on the bed and thinking. Alone with his thoughts, as he preferred to be.

A sound of commotion in the hallway made him turn his head. It sounded like Bayonetta, very noisily walking down the hall and talking to someone else. He waited until the noise faded away down the hallway before returning to his food.

He didn't have a problem with her, of course, or any of them, really, but it was just as well that he was in here and they were out there. What would even be the point of eating with them? He had nothing to say to most of them, and they all had enough to say to each other. He'd be alone no matter where he was.

Someone knocked on the door. He looked at it, surprised. He hasn't heard then approaching, so it was evidently not Bayonetta, but then who could it be? He considered not answering, but thought better of it. No sense being rude before having a good reason to be. Brushing some crumbs off his tunic, he went to the door and opened it.

Yoshi stood in the hallway, holding his dinner plate. Link brightened considerably, smiling at Yoshi, who smiled back. Link patted the pudgy dinosaur on the head, which he seemed to appreciate.

There was no need to ask why he was here. The question was self-evident, as was the answer. Yoshi never left a meal unfinished, and it seemed he didn't want to finish it with everyone else, or alone. Yoshi looked at him, awaiting an answer to his unspoken question.

Link smiled warmly, and beckoned him inside. Yoshi followed, eager yet careful not to spill anything.

For a second, Link fretted about having only one chair, but his old buddy seemed more than happy to stand and eat. Link offered him the chair anyway, but Yoshi waved it away. Link sat down instead, and returned to his meal.

Now that he was no longer alone, he forced himself to remember the lessons Zelda had given him on table manners. Having no spoon, he dipped his fork into his mashed potatoes and tried to pick up as much as possible. He then took a sip of water, a trick he had learned to keep himself from eating too quickly. He then regarded his friend across the table.

Yoshi was attempting, with little success, to cut a piece off of his steak. He wasn't using his fork to hold the meat steady, and he had only brought a regular knife instead of a steak knife. Furthermore, looking at his half-eaten steak, Link saw bite marks instead of straight cuts. To cap things off, after every bite, Yoshi would raise a napkin to his mouth, whether or not he had any food on it.

Link had to chuckle, realizing they were both doing the exact same thing. The noise attracted Yoshi's attention. Link established eye contact with the dinosaur. Then, he reached down, picked up his steak, and took a bite out of it.

It was as if a spell had been shattered. Yoshi smiled, then dropped his utensils and picked up his own steak, tearing into it hungrily. Link did the same, dabbing his steak in mashed potatoes before biting into it. And the two silently enjoyed their meal together.

xxxxxxx

Samus lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling with fingers laced together. Her meal and plate were both long gone, for she had eaten early and brought her plate back to the kitchen. Meta Knight had offered to have a servant take care of the last step, but she respectfully declined. It felt quite satisfying to finish her own busywork, and to not have to involve anyone else in it.

Nobody would want to spar after dinner. The few matches they'd had so far had been early in the day, while some of them still had energy – the princesses, mostly. Falcon took her up on her offer once, but he hadn't lasted more than a couple of rounds. Nobody was up for any other kind of physical exertion, either. Hopefully this would change as they picked up more fighters, otherwise this would be the most boring tournament ever. It'd be nice when the Wii Fit Trainer showed up - she had more stamina than anyone on board the ship right now.

Of course, that wasn't the most important reason they were assembling. They had to fight the big new enemy, or at least that was what Zelda had been saying. But in the meantime, they were still doing nothing, and nothing was something she didn't need to be doing any more of.

Thud

The noise was quiet, but Samus picked it up immediately. Something was very gently knocking on her door. She hoped to her feet and moved to answer it immediately. She opened the door, looked around, then looked down and smiled.

Pikachu was standing there, looking up at her and smiling. He held a small bundle in his mouth, something wrapped in leaves.

"Hey there," Samus said. "Got something for me? That's too nice." She picked up the small Pokemon, carrying him inside and kicking the door closed.

She placed the young Pikachu on the bed, taking the parcel from him while idly petting him. Now that his mouth was free, he began to purr affectionately. Samus unwrapped the parcel.

Six Razz berries were contained inside the leafy wrapping. She wasn't sure where he had found them, but she wasn't complaining. "Oh, thank you, child," she said. "I'd been meaning to try these." She put a hand on her full stomach. "How about we split 'em?" She placed the parcel on the bed, sat beside it, and divided the berries with her hand into two groups of three.

"Pika pika!" Pikachu said excitedly. Samus picked up one of her berries, while Pikachu dug into his.

The berry was very sweet and very juicy. The first bite was actually shockingly sweet, but Samus adjusted to it by her second. "It's delicious," she said after finishing the first berry. She looked at Pikachu and chuckled.

The child had messily devoured most of his first two berries by simply lowering his head and biting into them. As a result, his face was caked with a bright pink juice.

Samus grabbed a tissue from her bedside table. "I guess I see why you guys don't like to eat with the rest of them." Pikachu turned his head to allow her to wipe the sticky juices from his face. "Let me give you a hand with that." She picked up his last remaining berry and held it by the stalk. He leaned forward and started eating it, making much less of a mess than he had been. Once he finished it, he walked over to her and nuzzled her affectionately.

She smiled and scratched him on the head. "Ah, you're welcome, buddy," she said. She polished off her second berry, then rewrapped the last and put it in a drawer for later. She laid back down on her bed, and Pikachu hopped onto her lap and curled up onto a ball. "We should've gotten together sooner," she said. "I should've visited before, I don't know why I haven't."

Yes you do.

She felt guilty for lying, as she knew exactly why she hadn't. But for the time, she simply stroked the child's fur and pretended as if she didn't.

xxxxxxx

Pit sulked in his room, staring at the wall. "I can't believe he'd say those things about us," he muttered. "Who does he think he is?"

He walked over to his dresser and stared into the mirror. "I'm still fine, aren't I?" he asked his reflection. "Still me, I just lost a few pounds, right?" His pale, lined face stared back at him, offering no response.

He turned his back to the mirror. "Whatever," he said. "When we beat this new bad guy, then it'll be fixed, right? Sure it will! Zelda said so, and she's usually right!" He calmed himself with this realization. "Doesn't matter what's going on with me right now, we'll fix it, no problem. Dark Pit's just full of hot air, like always." His body slacked now that his tension was relieved.

Knock knock

He jumped. "Be right there," he said, calmly walking over to the door and opening it.

The hall was empty, at least of people. On the floor in front of his door, however, was his dinner plate.

Pit frowned in confusion. He looked left and right, wondering who could've brought him his dish and ran away. He stared at the plate, as if it might offer an answer.

Must've been Zelda. I'll bet she was worried about me leaving before I finished, but didn't want to embarrass me by talking about it. She's thoughtful like that.

He continued to look at the plate. Every food on there, except for the half-eaten slice of poffin, was food from his home. He had enjoyed them before, he vividly remembered this, and yet, now…

That key lime poffin was pretty good, though.

He reached down to just pick up the poffin slice, then thought about it and took the whole plate, in case she came back to check if he'd taken it.

"Thanks, Princess," he announced to the empty hallway. He didn't know for sure it was Zelda, but using the title let him hedge his bet.

"You're really looking out for me."

xxxxxxx

"So you're sure you're fine?" Rosalina asked.

Palutena sat on her bed, smiling radiantly. "Of course I am," she said. "Can't let one little insult from that troublemaker keep me down, can I?"

"Well, that's good," Rosalina said. "Will you be rejoining us? I believe Dark Pit left right after you did."

"Oh, no, it's fine," Palutena responded. "I had my fill, anyway. It's just about bedtime for me."

"Oh…okay," Rosalina said. "You know, if you change your mind, MK's servants are completely willing to whip something up for you and bring it here."

"I am aware," Palutena responded. Still cordial in her tone, but the subtle emphasis on the second word was firm, with a hint of sharpness.

"Okay," Rosalina said, emphasizing passivity in her own voice. "See you tomorrow."

"See you!" Palutena replied, the challenging tone completely absent from her voice now. She held her broad smile as Rosalina exited the room, then, after a moment, let out a yawn. She hadn't been kidding about being tired, and she lay down in her bed, still in her full dress. It'd only take a snap of her fingers to change into her nightclothes, but as she was already drifting off, she didn't see the point.

Knock knock

She groaned softly, then put her wide smile back on. "Be right there," she said in as sweet a voice as possible. The voice just came with the smile, it was easier that way. After a couple of seconds, she pushed herself upright, then swung her legs out and began the walk to the door. She opened the door, still grinning broadly, then looked around.

She looked down and saw her own dinner plate, sitting there right in front of her. She sighed, no longer smiling. Then she turned away, and let the door close on it.

xxxxxxx

Back in the dining hall, everyone had now left. Except for one.

Wario rammed a handful of what had been Dedede's chips into his mouth. Half a dozen plates that their previous users hadn't taken with them surrounded him on the floor, as did a sizeable portion of the tablecloth; he had found it more expedient to pull the cloth towards him than stand up and grab the plates individually. Just outside the door, a handful of MK's servants huddled, frightened, waiting for him to leave so that they could start to repair the damage. But they were far from his mind as he finished the greasy chips, then grabbed the next dish, a tin tray of plum pie.

His favorite.

Wario stopped, the purple pie halfway to his mouth. He regarded it, and the corners of his mouth began to droop.

He snapped out of it quickly. "Ah, who cares," he said. "I'm here, he's not, sucks to be him!" With that, he dug his fingers into the pie, shoveling the filling into his mouth. Yet now, it was impossible to forget that it was only him sitting at the table here, alone.