Fan Fiction Name: Requiem for the Rokudaime

Chapter Name: A Personal Requiem: Shizune

Info: As all in Konoha gather to pay respects to the Rokudaime Hokage as he takes his place on the Memorial Stone, some people take some time to remember his exploits and his quirks. The Rokudaime is not who you think! Rated T for general cursing.

Disclaimers: Well, I do not own any of Naruto, nor do I own the many characters of these fan fictions, save my own creations. It's sad, but all too true. How I wish I owned them….waaaaaahhhhh!

Requiem for the Rokudaime

Chapter 9

Why?

Why did it have to end this way?

Tsunade told me something about the nature of love, when my uncle Dan had died so many years ago. She was hopelessly drunk, trying to drown her woes in bottle after bottle of sake, and through her inebriated stupor she said something that confused me then. But now, with the man who was my lover…who was…and still is…the love of my life gone, cruelly torn away by fate, I understand now what she meant.

"When youh loshe someone important to youh…youh'll be scarred for the rehst of youhr life…"

Now here I am, crying over you, the silver haired man I had come to see as a friend…a confidante…and a lover…it makes so much sense. And that knowledge makes it hurt more.

I had met you so many years ago…and I really didn't think about it. You were always late with a terrible excuse and you were always reading that perverted book of Jiraiya-san. I really didn't think of anything beyond that. It's almost funny. I had been in the village for nearly four years without even knowing how great you were. You were just another face…another blur in the many people coming in and out of Tsunades office.

However, it was not long after you had gone on the mission with team seven to find Gaara. You had suffered from chakra exhaustion from your Mangekyo Sharingan, and I was put at the head of your recovery. It had been a week into your recovery and you were still fighting for consciousness. Well, I had been in the room and as I was looking over your recovery alone, when I got curious about your mask. I had never once seen you without it, and as I ministered your medications, I just got too curious… so slowly…surely…I reached for the masked and slowly pulled it down…

I have never once seen a man look that good. It's…almost like a god in the flesh. It was like a male romance lead come to life right in front of me!

Of course…I was really not expecting you to be that good looking…so I had been a bit shocked. Suddenly, your eyes shot open and you gave me the biggest glare I had ever received. I had let go, and I pulled away, painfully aware of just how red my face was. I had stared at the face of someone who should damn well be anything but a ninja…

Ever since then, whenever I say you, I would get a little bothered. But I knew you were mad at me for sneaking a peek…

I felt like such a pervert.

It wasn't until that day…so long ago. I had been with Tsunade-sama when it happened. I was grabbing some papers when Danzo had made an appearance at the Hokage Tower. I was about to question why he had shown up when one of the ANBU grabbed me and began dragging me away from Tsunade-sama. Under his breath, he said he was going to 'have fun' with me.

I was so scared. I was pinned and my arms were somehow unable to work…I thought that I was going to have to be subjected to something as humiliating as rape when you…you had somehow come to my rescue. It was like a cheesy movie, where the hero saves the girl and declares his love, all in one fell swoop. But there you were. You had stopped the man who was determined to use me as a tool for his own amusement, and as Iruka, the man you came in with, ran up the tower to help out Tsunade-sama, you said something to me before disappearing. Something that made the same blush I had when I first saw your face.

"It wouldn't be worth it to lose a pretty face like you."

You were gone in a flash, but my blush stayed there.

It wasn't too long before you and I were getting together now and then, enjoying each others company from time to time. We had spent time much in the way Asuma and Kurenai did, with smiles and laughs and altogether friendly towards one another. Of course, I still had that crush I had developed when I saw your face…

When the news came that you were going to train to become the next Hokage, on the surface you were the same apathetic guy everyone knew you to be. However, as soon as you and I were alone to talk, you showed your excitement. In a big, intimate way.

That day was the day we shared our first kiss. It's a day I will remember fondly…and…

During your training, I saw just how strong you were becoming. I know you were a strong ninja already, to be able to match Kabuto, the silver haired glasses wearing ninja who I fought with and lost to terribly. But to see just how powerful you had become in that year was amazing. Of course, our little "secret" was just as exciting…

I knew that Tsunade-sama knew of our relationship. I suspect Jiraiya-san did as well, not to mention Ankos loud declarations of trying to find out just who Kakashis "mystery woman" was. So we kept it up, keeping our little rendezvous secret. We had never really gone anywhere beyond making out (where I got to see that magnificent face of yours again!), but when you were going to take the office of Hokage you and I…well, you and I expressed ourselves in a way that can't really be described without my thoughts becoming pornographic. It would be too lustful…too happy…

I'm sorry.

I should just break apart. I shouldn't be thinking about our happy times. The times I spent that left me feeling happy and complete. The times I spent time with my beloved fiancée…

Dear kami.

Now I remember what you asked me, the night I got pregnant. We had spent the night together, and you and I were lying in bed together. It was a feeling I could have gotten used to. Seeing you without your mask, being there with you, it was just too good. I knew that you were worried, and I held you close. You had looked like you had gotten to sleep, and then I whispered something into your ear. I could have sworn that you weren't even awake at that time.

"I will always be here for you, if you want me here."

Suddenly, your eyes shot open. It was a little bit of a shock. You didn't have your headband on, and I stared into the Sharingan eye of yours. Your expression softened, then you asked me the one thing I hadn't expected.

The one thing all little girls dream of when they look at the "love" of their lives.

"Is that a promise?"

At first I didn't get it. I was being serious, but I really didn't expect him to be awake. I could only stare as he reached over to what I could guess were his pants were. After a few seconds of rummaging through them, he produced something that I never thought he would have thought of.

It was a golden band.

I was to be married to the Rokudaime Hokage! I was so happy! There was no way anything like the news of Orochimaru moving troops would in any way dampen my spirits that wonderful day!

I'm a fool.

I was getting sick early that day, the day that Orochimaru had managed to get his troops within striking distance of Konoha. I stayed back and hoped, prayed, and altogether put myself through the emotional grinder throughout the day, trying to keep my emotions in check while the medic nin like myself were being swamped with the massive amounts of wounded. The battle was on and it wasn't going to be pretty. So I took solace in the fact that Tsunade-sama and Jiraiya-san had trained you and you had become so strong under their tutelage.

You wouldn't die so easily, I told myself. You wouldn't go back on your promise that easily.

Stupid me for getting my damn hopes up, like a fool.

Within that day, Orochimaru was dead and you were on deaths door right behind the bastard. I was there, working feverishly with Tsunade-sama to get you back on your feet, to keep you from following the fiend you killed into the afterlife. After hours of working, hours of idea after failing idea, Tsunade-sama declared it too late to help him. He was gone.

I didn't want to believe her. I managed to hold out until after Sakura, Naruto, and the others in the room before I frantically began working again. I couldn't let you die! I wasn't going to let you become like the man who had been my father. To lose you the way Tsunade-sama lost the love of her life…

And I failed miserably.

I failed so miserably it's not even funny. I tried. I did everything in my power to keep you, to keep the person who had become the light of my life to simply fade away. And yet it wasn't enough!

But, maybe, there is something left in this world that has you all over it. Its in my stomach right now.

I had been getting sick, nearly every day since the attack and your death. I had thought that it was because of my depression, because I was still too strung out with the pain of not having you there. But, at Sakuras urging, I decided to talk to Tsunade-sama about my condition. I was surprised when Tsunade-sama began asking rather…intimate questions about you and me. I mean, I knew she knew about our little relationship, but I was confused about what she was getting at.

She scanned me, and then after a snicker and a smile, she said that I should start eating some more. I didn't get it at first, so my first reaction was to get up and go back to my apartment to lie back down again. I really didn't have the energy to think about what she had said.

It was only yesterday, when I was throwing up into the toilet, was when it hit me.

I was getting sick every day, soon after having sex.

I was recommended by the best medic in Konoha to eat more.

I was pregnant.

When I thought about it, neither time you and I had relations we forgot protection. It was a miracle to have not gotten pregnant the first time, but we hadn't really thought about it.

Well, even without you here, I'll have a small part of you here with me. It's going to hard to do this without you here…but I'll find some way. I'll take care of this child in my belly, even if I have to kill for him…or her.

It may be something I don't want to do, but I'll damn well better do it. For your sake.

END

A/N: Well, here is Shizunes chapter…hopefully, I got the mixing of Dark (Her depression over Kakashi) and Light (her thoughts for the Future).

Well, I'll load up Kabutos' chapter with this one, and I'll get to work on…"dun dun dun!" the next surprise chapter!