Chapter thirteen

Left in the dust

The sounds of destruction filled Station Square. Two giant robotic arms smashed into buildings, picked up cars and threw them, and ripped signposts out of the ground. Hovering above the destruction, Eggman sat in his floating cockpit.

"Bahahahaha!" he cackled. "Oh, it feels so good to be bad!"

He paused his destructive rampage for a moment to listen for the sounds of people screaming. He heard none. He leaned our of his cockpit and looked around. The street was barren and deserted.

"All hiding, eh?" he said. "Come out, come out, wherever you are!" He spotted a bus, and picked it up and shook it, waiting for people to fall out of it. None did. The bus, like all the cars, was completely empty.

"Uh…in the buildings, then!" he said. He hovered over to the nearest skyscraper and punched in the double doors. "Hello, receptionist?" he said, floating his cockpit in. "Can you inform your boss that his 10:30 appointment with certain death has arrived?" But the lounge, too, was empty.

"Oh, come on!" he shouted in frustration. He flew back out into the street, looking around for someone to menace. "Hello? Anyone?" He smashed a car as loudly as he could. "Why isn't there anyone fleeing in terror?"

"You want just one reason?" came a voice from behind.

Eggman spun around. Sonic and Tails were now standing in the otherwise deserted street.

"Ah, there you are, Sonic!" he shouted. "And here I thought I would have to start my evil plan without you!"

"You call this a plan?" Sonic retorted. "Seems like you're just smashing up stuff because you're bored."

"That's not true!" Eggman declared. "The mayor of this city holds a Chaos Emerald, and once I cause enough damage, I'll-" He paused, noticing a small stain on Sonic's chest. "What is that?"

"Huh? Oh, that," Sonic said, brushing the little glob of chili off his fur. "We had a little snack before coming to fight you."

"What?" Eggman said, insulted. "How could you – uh, I mean, how callous of you! Some hero you are, allowing me to carry on raining death and destruction on this helpless city!"

"Destruction, maybe," Sonic said. "But death?" He looked around at the empty streets.

Eggman refused to concede the point. "Well, maybe I killed them all before you showed up!"

"Not likely," replied Sonic. "Or didn't you realize that you're attacking the office district on a Saturday?"

There were a few seconds of silence while Eggman absorbed this fact. Then he began to mumble. "Well, I was inside for so long, I kind of lost track of - i-it shouldn't matter! There should still be people on the streets around here!"

"There should be," Tails agreed, "but there aren't. It's been pretty empty around here for a while."

"Some genius you are, not to notice that," Sonic chimed in.

Eggman, attempting to recover from his embarrassment, slammed his fist down on his console. "Doesn't matter!" he shouted. "All that means is you two will be my first casualties, and I wouldn't want it any other way!" His mechanical arms assumed a fighting stance in front of him. "Prepare, fools, to be crushed by the Death Egg Beater!"

Sonic raised an eyebrow. "Really? A pun? I thought you were above those, Eggman."

"Pun? What are you…" Eggman trailed off for a moment as he thought about it. "Oh, god damnit, it is a pun," he muttered. "Fine! I'll have plenty of time to rename it once I beat you to a pulp!" He lifted the machine's arms up and slammed them into the ground.

"All right, let's get this over with," Sonic said. He effortlessly sidestepped one of the fists, now standing between them. Then he chained a series of homing attacks diagonally up two rows of giant bolts on the outstretched arms, before finally slamming into the cockpit and ricocheting away.

CLANG

"Agh!" Eggman cried, lifting his arms back up.

"All right, Eggman," Sonic said. "I've proven I can beat your robot. You gonna make me do it eight more times, or will you do us both a favor and give up?"

"Never!" screeched Eggman. "There are no rings on this street. That means you only need to slip up twice before victory is mine!"

Sonic rolled his eyes. "Oh, of course. So you think I'll make two mistakes before you make eight more?"

"It could happen," Eggman said defensively.

Sonic said nothing, smirking.

"I have beaten you before, Sonic!" Eggman insisted, a little desperately. "It is possible!"

"Yeah, okay," Sonic said. "I tried, Tails. Now let's try out that new device of yours."

"Sure thing, Sonic!" Tails hovered over to him, then handed him a bungee cord.

Eggman scratched his head. "What's that supposed to do?"

"It's based around Sonic's attack patterns," Tails said as Sonic tied one end around his leg. "It'll help him take you down in record time!"

"Attack me again, and I'll show you how," Sonic said.

"F-fine, I will!" Eggman sputtered. He swiped across the ground with each of his arms once, which Sonic easily jumped over. Then he slammed both arms into the ground again, which Sonic again dodged.

This time, when Sonic reached the cockpit, instead of immediately smashing into it, he tied the other end of the cord to a bulkhead on the Beater. Then he attacked it.

CLANG

As he flew away, the cord tightened, slingshotting him back into the cockpit instantly.

CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG

After headbutting the cockpit seven more times, the bulkhead he'd tied himself to snapped off, and he landed on the ground. Eggman's cockpit was heavily damaged, and his entire robot started sparking and malfunctioning.

"How's that for speed?" Sonic taunted as the Egg Beater began to explode, fully destroyed.

Eggman was launched from the machine by an explosion, sending him sailing off into the distance. "I HATE YOUUUUUUU!" he screeched as he blasted out of sight.

"What was that?" Sonic called, putting a hand to his ear. "Did you say, 'Let's do this again sometime'? I agree! Next month, same time, same place? Okay, see you then!"

"Great job, Sonic!" Tails cheered. "You did it!"

"With your help, buddy," Sonic said, giving him a high five. "That idea of yours worked like a charm!"

Tails beamed. "Thanks, Sonic!" he said enthusiastically. "So, what now?"

"Well…" Sonic scratched his head. "I feel like I was about to do something, before Eggman showed up, but…I guess I forgot." He chuckled. "You'd think it'd be easy for me to jog my memory, huh?"

"Well, that's okay," Tails said. "How about we go to the amusement park in the meantime? I've got two tickets I haven't used yet."

"Nah," Sonic said. "I've been there so many times, it's just boring now. No thrill left in the thrill rides." He shrugged. "Oh well. Maybe I'll do another lap around the big loop. I'll definitely think of it somewhere along that path."

"The big loop?" Tails said. "You mean…the entire planet?"

Sonic nodded. "Biggest loop there is."

"But the last time you did that, you were gone for three weeks," Tails protested. His tails began to droop.

"I can get it down to two and a half, I swear!" Sonic said, oblivious to his buddy's sadness. "I lost a lot of time in Spagonia. Smashed right into a bunch of walls!"

"But Sonic," Tails said, "why do that when you could spend more time with your best friend instead?" As soon as he said it, he realized how clingy it sounded. "I mean…whoever that best friend might be, of course. I know you've got a lot of them, maybe it's Knuckles, he's always…" He trailed off.

Sonic didn't seem to have heard him, as he was deep in thought. "Smashed…smashed…smash- oh yeah, that's what I was thinking about!" He reached into his back pocket and pulled out an envelope. "Look what I got!" he said, tossing it to Tails. "Priority mailed, of course."

"Smash?" Tails said, recognizing the wax seal. "I still haven't gotten one of those…" He opened the letter and read quickly. "Cordially invited…request your urgent assistance…malaise blanketing galaxy…" He looked up. "So this means you're leaving anyway," he said sadly.

"Believe me, I wish I wasn't," Sonic said. "They're a real bunch of weirdos over there. I envy you for not having to go, honestly."

"But you don't have to go, right?" Tails asked, hoping his voice didn't sound too pleading. "It's just an invitation."

"Well, yeah, but they need me," Sonic said. "Remember that one time I told you about, where they all almost died and I saved them all? They're helpless without me. With great power, and all that stuff."

"Yeah, I guess," Tails sighed. He perked up. "Hey, so I guess you'll need a ride there, right? I could fly you there, just give me a few seconds to grab the Tornado."

"Don't worry about it, buddy," Sonic said. "I got this one." He fished a ring out of his pocket, held it up, and threw it in front of him. It quickly grew in size until it was large enough to walk through, and through it they could see the deck of the Halberd.

"Whoa!" Tails shouted, taken aback. "Since when could you do that?"

"Since always," Sonic said. He raised an eyebrow. "Where have you been?"

He hopped through the ring and landed on the deck. "See you later, Tails!" he called through the portal. "I'll bring you back a souvenir!"

"Sonic, wait!" Tails called, reaching a hand out.

"Sonic quickly turned around. "What is it, buddy?" he asked.

Tails said nothing for a few seconds, trying to work up the nerve to ask him to stay. He failed.

"…Have fun, Sonic," he said, waving.

Sonic gave him a thumbs up as the portal started to fade. "I will, don't you worry. You have fun too!"

As Sonic and his grin faded away, Tails's smile did the same. "I'll try," he said. He slowly trudged away, making his way out of the city, alone.

xxxxxxx

Dedede sat, hunched over his workbench. He held a screwdriver in one hand and one of his badges in the other. Under the spotlight of his lamp, he worked, tinkering and tweaking the badge.

"Here we go," he said, tightening in the final resistor. He closed the badge's back and locked it. "That oughta do it." He pinned the badge to his robe, then activated it.

He waited fifteen seconds for the effects to kick in. He felt nothing.

With a sigh, he plucked the badge off of his chest. He held it in his hand, looking at it, then at the growing pile of reject badges sitting on his bench. He started to grow angry, and clenched his fist around the badge.

"Damn it!" he shouted, slamming the badge down on the workbench. He swiped his arm across the bench, launching all the failed badges off the bench and into the hall.

Meta Knight, who had just been walking past his door, jumped back to dodge the small metal projectiles. He brushed some dust off his cape, then entered Dedede's room, where the king was hunched over his bench, head in his hands. "I sense something troubles you, sire," he said.

"Damn right, something's troubling me!" Dedede shouted, picking up one remaining badge that hadn't been launched. "These stupid badges ain't doing what I'm telling 'em to do! I've been workin' on this since we set off, and they haven't made me so much as chuckle! It's depressin' me, how much they ain't un-depressin' me!" He chucked the badge over Meta Knight's head.

Meta Knight reached up and caught the badge out of the air. "Sire, these badges…I can't praise them highly enough. They're a marvel of engineering, and they saved all of our lives when we needed them the most. Everyone in the galaxy owes their lives to them. But there are certain things they will never be able to do. You can't defeat depression with a badge, of that I am confident."

"And why can't I?" Dedede retorted. "Just because I ain't never met no Sarah Tonin or that dopey mean guy the doc keeps tellin' me about?"

"If it were as simple as triggering a certain chemical in your brain, we wouldn't be here to begin with," Meta Knight said. "There are many, many factors that contribute to it, and even if you could determine the root cause of your depression, it varies from person to person. There is no one cure that fits all, each person must find their own."

"If there's one cause, there should be one cure," Dedede replied. "Zelda said there's some great big monster suckin' the fun out of everything."

Meta Knight paused. "I would not treat that as the gospel truth, sire."

Dedede raised an eyebrow. "You sayin' she's wrong? You seemed to buy into it before."

"Zelda is a smart woman, but so far her claim is largely unsubstantiated," Meta Knight said. "We all accepted her claim because we had no other, more believable explanation, but even she seemed less than certain at the time. We have yet to find any evidence to support her theory of a cosmic monstrosity draining our energy, and while this galaxy-spanning malaise does seem unnatural, there are certainly other possible explanations."

Dedede frowned down at the diminutive knight. "Are you sayin'…"

"I am saying nothing definitively," Meta Knight said. "We have yet to disprove her theory, and it remains our best. I have no intention of sharing my doubts with the other fighters, as it could only heighten our shared malcontent. But for one such as yourself, who is actively searching for a solution, I felt you shouldn't pigeonhole yourself inside a false conclusion."

"Uh…thanks, I guess," Dedede said, scratching his head.

"You are doing good work here, sire," Meta Knight said, walking to the door. "I would be happy to be proven wrong in my claim that a badge will not solve our problem. Good luck, your highness." He exited, closing the door behind him.

"All right, then," he said, looking at his large box of electrical parts. He pulled his blueprints off the workbench, then grabbed several new sheets of paper and laid them down instead. "Back to the freaking drawing board again."