"He left."
"Who left?"
"Jess. He left."
Lorelai sighed and sat down at her kitchen table. "I thought you guys were friends again. Everything was fine when you left." Rory and Jess had left Stars Hollow over two weeks ago.
"Well when we got back he said he didn't feel comfortable living with me. So he just packed up and went to a Days Inn or something." Rory was walking through the semi-deserted Yale campus. She had just ended a newspaper meeting. She was working to have an issue out for new student orientation in hopes of recruiting incoming freshmen.
"Wow."
"I know. He said he didn't want to be responsible for breaking up Logan and me, handed me his number at the hotel, and walked out."
"I thought you guys were good."
"To be honest, it was a little awkward. We were avoiding each other and mostly just trying to avoid talking about anything that relates in any way to sex, wine, walls, pizza, or hippos. And you'd be surprised at how much that eliminates in conversation."
"Well are you still friends?"
"I guess. I'm not really sure. He didn't say we weren't."
"Well as a married lady I am now full of wisdom in the male behavior department."
"Please, share your wisdom, oh wise married one."
"You just need to give him some time. Call him next week. Ask him how the work thing is going. Jess is one of your oldest friends. I doubt something like this could completely ruin that."
"I hope not. I mean, it's not like Jess and I have ever had sex before. This is completely uncharted territory."
"I know hun. What's done is done and well it's done."
"I know."
"Hey, what's today's date?"
"It's the seventeenth. Why?"
"Shit. I've gotta go." She stood up and walked over to the fridge.
"What's wrong?"
Lorelai's eyes scanned the magnetic calendar that was stuck to the front of the fridge, quickly counting days. "I think I'm ovulating. I'll call you tomorrow." She hung up the phone and walked into the living room. She hung up the phone and rushed out the door.
"Look, Kirk, I can't give you a discount for buying toast in bulk. If you want five orders of toast you'll pay for five orders of toast."
"You know a lot of other places have some kind of incentive for buying multiples. Just the other day I bought two pairs of pants and got a third pair for free." Kirk and Luke had been arguing for the past twenty minutes. Suddenly Lorelai burst through the door frantically. She grabbed Luke's arm and tried to drag him away from Kirk.
"What's wrong with you?" Luke looked at her like she was crazy.
"I need to talk to you."
"Can it wait? I'm in the middle of work right now."
"No, it can't." She squeezed his arm tighter. "It's very important." She raised her eyebrows at him.
"Actually, Lorelai, I was just about to break him down."
"Oh, you are so far from breaking me down …" Luke snarled at Kirk.
"Luke I'm ovulating!" As soon as the word escaped her lips Lorelai remembered that she was in the middle of a crowded diner. Everyone dropped their forks and stared at her. "Sorry. Sorry, everyone. You can all continue with your breakfasts. There's nothing more to see here."
"You're what?"
"I'm in prime baby making mode here."
"Oh." Luke looked around the diner frantically. He ran behind the counter and headed up the stairs to his old apartment. Luckily he hadn't moved his stuff out yet. "How do you know?" he asked as he quickly undid his belt.
"Just counting days on the calendar. Why?"
"I wish you'd given me a little more notice. I could've prepared or something."
Lorelai pulled her shirt over her head and lay down on her back on the bed. Luke leaned over her and kissed her passionately. "There's really no way to prepare. It's just sex."
"I know but should I be thinking about babies or something?"
"Luke, you're killing the mood."
"Right. Sorry." He leaned down and kissed her again. She wrapped her legs around his torso as he moved into her. Sweat beaded on his forehead and slid down his cheeks. Lorelai couldn't help but smile at how determined he was. After almost fifteen minutes Luke shuddered and then rolled over onto the bed exhausted. "Do you think it worked?"
"We're just gonna have to wait to find out."
"But what if it didn't work? I mean what if you're not pregnant? Do we have to wait till next month? Maybe we should try again in an hour. Can you come back in an hour?"
Lorelai put her finger to his lips and hushed him. "Go back down to your diner. I'll just hang out here for the day if it'll make you feel better."
"You're the best." Luke kissed her head and hurried to get his pants back on. Lorelai waved as he shut the door and went back downstairs. She got out of bed and looked for her jeans. She pulled her cell phone out of the pocket and got back under the covers. She pushed the first fast dial button.
"Hello?"
"I feel like some kind of breeding cow or something."
"What?"
"It's like my new purpose in life is to produce a new flannel wearing heir for the Danes family."
"You said you wanted a baby," Rory said.
"I do. I really really do. But now I'm holed up in the diner until I'm ready mate again."
"Ok, I never ever want you to say the word mate again. And I should remind you that you are the one that told him that you think you're ovulating."
"What's your point?"
"You made your bed and you're going to have to lie in it."
"You are so witty. In fact, I am chuckling right now because of your clever play on words. Har har hardy har har."
"You just need to hope that you get pregnant this month."
"What do you mean?"
"Well now Luke can figure out your, um, cycle. So from now until you get pregnant this is what you'll look forward to every month."
"Oh God, you're right. He's becoming a monster."
"And you made him that way."
"I need to go watch some kids' shows or something. Is Fraggle Rock still any good?"
"They took that off years ago."
"And they didn't consult us? That was one of your favorites."
"I know. It happens."
"Now I need to find a cave dwelling Muppet substitute."
"Good luck."
"Thanks. If you don't hear from me soon just assume that I've been locked in some sort of baby making dungeon."
"I'll arrange a search party."
"Aww thanks. Bye."
"Bye, Mom."
