Author's Note: Did some editing, made a few minor extensions to this chapter. Nothing huge.
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Ron Stoppable could feel his heart beating, his adrenaline rushing. He'd been in some pretty rough sitches in the past, but this one easily leapt to the top of that list. At this very moment, less than a hundred yards away from where he was standing, a literal convention of the most dangerous super villains on the planet were gathering to share evil ideas, brag about their insidious accomplishments, and show off the latest in world menacing technology. Any sane man wouldn't be caught within a hundred miles of such a gathering in anything less than multi-layered Centurion armor.
Ron's current attire was a far cry from that.
"You call this incognito?" Ron held up the Kimmunicator, making sure that Wade wasn't just playing some kind of practical joke on him. Ron felt absolutely absurd in his purple and black costume and this was a young man who had once gone dressed up as a horse's butt for Halloween.
"Zorpox the Conqueror." Wade explained. "Issue ninety-seven of the Villains League of Evil Villains." On the screen, Wade held up the aforementioned comic to prove his point.
"And I am…" A skeptical Kim Possible interjected as she held up the 'tail' of her cat suit.
"Sheela, of the Leopard People." Wade's enthusiasm was growing just a little too quickly for Kim and Ron's taste.
"I was going to say 'not feeling one hundred percent on the cat suit." Kim emphasized her point by spinning the end of her 'tail' in the air rather pitifully.
"I worked with what I had on hand." Wade defended himself
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Kim swore that she could feel her head splitting at the seams as she slowly stirred. As her senses gradually reclaimed themselves, she became aware that she was lying on a hard, cold surface of some kind, a fabric different from that of her mission clothes covered her entire body, including her face. Her weary mind tried to bring her hands to her face in an attempt to rub the fog from her eyes, only to find her limbs restrained and unresponsive to her commands. Kim's eyes shocked open, only to notice that she had been strapped, hands and legs, to a table of some kind, her clothes having been replaced by a leopard themed cat suit complete with dark boots and gloves and a mask to complete the ensemble.
"Oh no. This is so not good."
"Oh yes. This is, in fact, so very bad. And bad is what I do baby! Booyahahahahaha!" The unannounced laugh sent a whole new string of bad memories through Kim's mind, as well as a familiar and unwanted chill up her spine. Kim looked up, atop another level that ran around what she guessed to be a laboratory within the science camp across the lake from Wannaweep, to see Zorpox standing proudly, looking down upon her.
"Ron, what is going on?" Kim struggled against her restraints. No surprise, they didn't budge.
"You're still not getting it Kimberly. Ron is not here, and in a few moments, you won't be either!" As Zorpox spoke, he moved over towards a ladder that lowered him down to the level where Kim lay. "I've been planning this. All from the first moment that I was brought back. In the first instant that I looked at you from within that stupid GJ cell, I knew that this was what I wanted. The way I see it, if Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable can save the world, then Zorpox and Sheela of the Leopard People shall bring it to its knees! Booyahahahahaha."
"You can't do that." Kim redoubled her struggle for freedom. "You'd need an…"
"I believe the word you're looking for is 'Attitudinator'!" Zorpox rushed over to the side of the table, picking up the device with wicked delight. The bits of tape that ran down along its center confirmed to Kim that this was the same one that had originally turned Ron into Zorpox in the first place. "Cool huh? Ron may be a pit of a packrat, but that's only because he never throws anything away! Lucky for the both of us! Booyahahahahahahahaha!"
"Don't do this." Kim pleaded as she found her strength useless against her restraints. "Ron, I know you're in there. I know you can hear me."
"Oh of course he's in here." Zorpox tapped his head, before taking the Attitudinator and shoving roughly atop Kim's hair. "That's what makes this so much more fun. He's in here all right, and right now, he's screaming and hollering. And it's music to my ears. I love listening to it even as I'm about to corrupt the one thing in this world he loves more than anything."
"You're sick."
"What can I say? Sadistic pleasures for sadistic people." Zorpox let out another laugh, even as he rushed over to the side, quickly fiddling with some equipment. "Besides, you know we belong together. But the problem is, you're good, and I'm not. So, one of us is going to have to change for this relationship to work, and that's not going to be me."
In that moment, Kim knew that this was it. Without some kind of Wade-ordered minor miracle, there was no escaping this, and as silly as it seemed, there was just one question burning on her mind that she absolutely had to ask. Since now seemed like the only opportunity she would ever get, she had to know.
"Zorpox, Ron swore he didn't know anything about you. About what you were planning. If you obviously know and remember everything he knows, why couldn't he remember everything you knew?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Zorpox turned to her. "He didn't remember because he didn't want to. He was embarrassed about me. I'm his shameful little secret that he wanted to hide from everyone, even you. Even himself."
"Ron had nothing to be ashamed about. You were out of his control, and he knows I'd never blame him for it." Kim bit back.
"Oh that's not what I mean. He wasn't ashamed of the things that I did, he was ashamed that, even just the tiniest bit, he enjoyed having me in the driver's seat." Zorpox sneered at her.
"You're lying. Ron would never enjoy what you do." Kim knew in an instant that Zorpox was trying to get to her.
"Oh, true enough. That spineless little worm could never stomach the things that I do. He's too gentile, and sweet, and innocent and pure." Zorpox mocked in a high pitched voice, before adding "but there was some part of him, some very small, very ashamed, part of him that enjoyed all the attention that we got. And there, Kimberly Anne Possible is the answer to my riddle!" He exclaimed in final triumph.
"The most famous of all the angels?" Zorpox's enigmatic taunt escaped her soft lips.
"The devil!!" Zorpox cackled. "The original rebel. The first bad boy ever! Sure he's evil, heartless, cruel, a true idol, but of all the countless billions of stars up there and all the no name angels, he was the one everyone remembered! And it's the same with me and Ron. I steal candy from babies, I stick cats up trees, I borrow your car and leave you to fill up the tank; I'm a bad person. But in the end, all those people that wouldn't look twice at Ron, they all tremble and quake at the very sound of my name!! The most attention Global Justice ever paid him was when they thought he was responsible for your success, but me. Oh they pulled out all the stops as soon as I showed up! I give him respect, more than you ever did!"
"You're even more twisted than I gave you credit for." Kim spit with disgust.
"Oh really? Then maybe you can explain to me why Ron decided to don that stupid rodent costume?"
"The Fearless Ferret?" Zorpox's mad riddles and stupid taunts suddenly began to swirl through Kim's mind.
"Did you ever think to ask yourself why a super hero and his pet rodent had to dress up in stupid costumes so that they could play run-around as a super hero and his pet rodent? I mean seriously, did you think your boyfriend just wasn't getting enough world saving in his daily routine that he actually had to run around dressed up in tights!"
"You're one to talk." Kim noted smartly.
"Strictly speaking, I'm more on the supply side of world ending!" Zorpox replied smugly, before continuing. "It never occurred to you that maybe, just maybe, your little side kick wanted to be remembered as something other than just your side kick. That that buffoon, for once in his life, wanted to step out of your shadow and try to take center stage."
The shock had all the affect Zorpox wanted, and he pressed the knife all the deeper into Kim's guts as he spoke.
"You're smart KP, but pretty naïve. You must know how it works; a hot, smart, world saving cheer leader like you running around; how's a guy supposed to compete with that? Who needs to talk to the dorky side kick standing on the side lines when we have a real life super heroine to praise and worship? He was so desperate to step out of your shadow for just a moment, to actually show someone that he could matter without you lifting and carrying him… oh man," Zorpox began to laugh. "If you had any idea of how much it burst his bubble when you took that stupid mask off while he was dangling upside down in that warehouse. Hahahahaha. Absolutely priceless."
"You're lying." Kim struggled to get out, only having enough for a soft retort. Yet her whisper somehow managed to reach across the room to Zorpox's ears, prompting him to rush right across the room, placing his face directly in front of hers.
"Am I? Look me in the eye. Am I lying to you?" Zorpox's face took on an appearance of dread resolve, as he eyed Kim directly, even as she scanned him, desperate for some sign of deception.
"No." Kim could only whisper, even as tears began to stroll down her face. Zorpox's words and their terrifying implication cut into Kim's innards with a serrated edge as she could only struggle against her restraints, not for her freedom, but simply to wipe her face.
"Oh relax. You shouldn't let it bother you after all." Zorpox moved to set the Attitudinator. "I promise, in one minute, you won't be able to care less about Ron Stoppable."
With the push of a button, Kim could only look up in helpless horror as the Attitudinator came to life, a series of beeps and buzzes and other assorted noises that could only be assumed to accompany its activation echoed through the room as it began shaking and vibrating atop Kim's skull. The young super hero bit down hard, fighting with all her strength, until finally, the device slowed itself, reducing to a low hum, signaling that its insidious work was done.
"Kimberly?" Zorpox looked closely at the seemingly peaceful state of his helpless prisoner, her eyes closed, as she began to stir. A low moan escaped her lips as her eyes opened up, looking directly back at Zorpox.
"Kim?" He asked again.
"Not anymore." Sheela replied with a grin.
Zorpox leaned in closely, his face a mere inch or so from hers, his voice laced with implication. "And how do I know that? How do I know someone isn't just playing possum while waiting for the affects of the Attitudinator to kick in."
The blue skinned villain stumbled where he stood, his arms flailing in the air, as Sheela jumped up within her restraints, taking his lower lip within hers, nearly biting as she brought Zorpox's lips to her own. As she did, he almost feared that he was going to swallow her tongue. In all their time together, the princess and buffoon had never once kissed like this. It was raw, primal, pure lust without restraint or modesty. In the end, Zorpox had to push down on her shoulders just to separate her lips from his own.
"And if you think that's something, you should see what I can do when I have my hands." Sheela's voice purred with sultry implication as she seemed to wiggle contently within her bounds, the very sight of that slender body sent Zorpox near mad.
"Good plan." Zorpox kicked a control at the bottom of the table, causing the restraints to retract themselves. Instantly, Sheela leapt off the table with all the furry of a newly freed animal loosened from its cage as she pounced right on top of Zorpox, tackling him to the ground, returning her lips to his yet again, and practically devouring his mouth within hers. Zorpox found himself struggling to push her off in desperate need of air.
He took in a deep gasp as he spoke. "Don't you… ever… breathe?"
"It gets in the way." Sheela purred again, only to strike Zorpox's face hard, leaving him confused and dazed on the floor as she stood up, wiping herself off.
"What was that for?" He shouted angrily as he rubbed his face.
"That was for taking off my clothes while I slept. No, wait, that was for the darts." Another palm burned its way across Zorpox's face, this one leaving a stinging burn that nearly drove all other feeling out of his cheek. "That was for taking off my clothes."
Zorpox leapt up to his feet, staring angrily at her. "Just who do you think you are?"
Rather than answer, Sheela took him, bringing him up to her, their mouths wide as they embraced again, before she pushed him back to answer. "Why, I'm a bad girl."
Sheela gave a strong push that knocked Zorpox off his feet, sending him back to the ground. He growled in anger as he rose, but she merely laughed at the sight of his rage.
"Oh, let me guess." Sheela seemed to signal him to hold his place with her finger. "You tried to change me just like you were changed and bring out Kim Possible's bad girl because… you wanted someone to hold your hand and play side kick for you like you played side kick for the cheer leader. Sorry, doesn't work like that." She declared confidently.
In a fit of rage, Zorpox's fist darted out at Sheela who easily ducked the attack, only to leap up over Zorpox, pivoting with one hand on top of his head, sending him stumbling over with his cape over his face as she landed with flawless grace behind him.
"Well you don't have to be the side kick." Zorpox brought his cape back behind him as he tried to regain his composure, all the while he approached her undaunted. "I was really thinking more like, second in command."
"Hmm, try again." Sheela purred.
This time, she struck out, but Zorpox deflected the attack, and then another, and another. The two seemed more to dance then fight as they continued to block one another's attacks, until finally, Zorpox grabbed a wrist, and pulled Sheela close.
"Equal partners?" His lips were inches from hers as he restated his offer.
"Warmer." Sheela's knee dug straight into his gut, sending him bending over. "But I really see myself as top kitty around here, and that means, I decide how things work, comprende?"
Snarling angrily, Zorpox pushed himself past his pain as he moved to tackle Sheela to the ground, grabbing her arms and pinning her to the floor. She merely giggled with delight in the face of his rage.
"I kinda figured you liked it rough." She teased.
"Equal partners. Take it, or you can go back to being a cheer leader." He hissed at her.
"Hmm, does that mean you prefer the short skirt over the cat suit?" Sheela raised an eye brow suggestively at the question.
"Last chance." He warned.
Sheela kicked up, knocking Zorpox over, as she exchanged grips with him, pinning him down beneath her.
"I suppose, as long as I'm on top, I can work with that." She smiled as she leaned in towards him.
"Then this is going to be the start of a sadistic relationship."
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"So, just what are you planning anyway?" Sheela asked as she sat atop the table, eyeing the Attitudinator warily. After hammering out a few inconsequential details, and some more foreplay, strictly with the clothes on of course, Zorpox had been fast at working, scuttling around the room in which they were in.
"Why quite simply, the biggest event of any man's life, besides complete and utter domination of the world of course." Zorpox reached into one of his pockets concealed behind his cape. He took a moment to beam with almost sinister pride as he pulled out a solid gold band with a brilliant diamond encrusted in the middle. "I found this on some quaint little shop keeper, and thought that this would look so much better on your finger than hers. Besides, her husband's rich, I'm sure she'll get another. And if you don't like this one, then I'll get you that one."
"You want to get married??" Sheela looked at him in pure shock.
"Of course. You're bad, I'm worse. We're perfect for each other. I even have the guest list all worked out." He smiled his trademark look of pure evil as he knelt down before her.
"What guest list?"
"Why, come and see." With that, Zorpox took her hand as he guided her outside. The sight that awaited her took her breath away.
A sizeable arbour had been constructed in the middle of the clearing of the camp, standing unpainted out in the moon lit sky. Manacled to its frame via a leg iron, Dr. Drakken stood dressed like a preacher beneath its center, a book held in his manacled hands. Off to the opposite sides where the bride and groom were to stand, Shego and Monkey Fist had been similarly manacled, Shego dressed in an absolutely hideous looking maids outfit that revealed all the leg she had to offer, while Monkey Fist, standing up right with none of his usual primate hair showing had been shoved into a tux.
"You… how did you?" Sheela turned to Zorpox in astonishment.
"Every wedding has to have guests, and I figured who better than our worst enemies present to rue and lament over the day that we kick them and the rest of those grade B losers off the map while we take the world for ourselves!" Zorpox returned to his knee as he held up the ring again. "So, what do you say?"
Sheela took only a moment to respond as she returned her lips to his in a kiss that made Zorpox's captive reception turn green, even Shego.
"Is she kissing him or eating him alive?" Monkey Fist asked with disgust.
"I think both." Shego replied sickly.
Sheela and Zorpox broke their kiss, leaving Zorpox wide eyed with awe as she spoke again.
"I do."
"Oh booyha! So, first thing on our to do list, rule the world!"
Sheela purred suggestively as she stroked Zorpox's face.
"New plan; first the honeymoon, then rule the world." Zorpox amended.
She just continued to stroke her hand seductively over his face.
"New, new plan; first the honeymoon, then more honeymoon, then take over the world."
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"Uhh, uh… deeply disturbed." Drakken read from the book he held nervously. "We have been gathered here today, to bear witness to the joining of these two super villains, in the irrevocable shackles of marriage." Drakken emphasized his last point by pulling on the chains around his wrist.
"Hurry up." Zorpox shouted impatiently. Off to his side, Sheela held a bouquet of dead plants as her bridesmaid, Shego, held her tail in burning humiliation.
"Do… do you Zorpox, take this Leopard person to be your unlawfully wedded partner, to destroy and ruin with, for as long as you both shall live?"
"Yes, yes." Zorpox shouted in frustration. "Get on with it."
"This is why I don't like weddings." Shego moaned with embarrassment.
"Quiet!" Sheela's palm stung across Shego's cheek in anger. "No one asked you to talk."
"Do you, Sheela, take this Conqueror to be your unlawfully wedded partner, to pillage and burn with, so long as you shall live?"
"Yes!" She replied with the same impatience.
A slight sniff could be heard from Monkey Fist, in spite of himself, as he uttered "this is so beautiful."
"Then I now pronounce you…" Drakken never got a chance to finish as the two practically slammed their lips together, their hands roaming all over one another, causing the gathered villains to fear that the honey moon was going to take place right there on the spot.
Zorpox struggled to keep up as Sheela continued to take his mouth more and more into hers, even as her hands ran back around his neck.
That was when it happened.
A quick pinch.
That was all Zorpox felt.
That was all Kim wanted him to feel.
A simple pinch to the proper nerve, and less than a second later, Zorpox fell to the ground, crumbling before Kim as she lifted off the mask to her costume.
"Sorry Zorpox. I want a divorce. I'm seeing someone else." Kim reached into her mouth, removing the device that she had picked up from Hench Co. A device that fit snuggly over the roof of her mouth, designed perfectly to blend in with the flesh there. It had been specifically designed to protect someone from the effects of the Attitudinator. A safety precaution built by Jack Hench in case the Attitudinator fell into the wrong hands and his best clients were to find themselves turned to the side of good and justice.
Kim turned back over to the science camp building as she walked off to fetch the Attitudinator.
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Ron Stoppable could swore he felt the sun beating down brightly on his face, the feel of warm grass on his cheeks, birds chirping off in the distance. The blonde sidekick struggled to open his eyes as he turned around, taking in his surroundings.
He was at Camp Wannaweep. He was sure of it. Less than two months out of his life spent here and he would know this camp ground from any area, at any angle. The sun was high over head and he was dressed in his mission clothes.
Brushing himself off as he brought himself to his feet, he found himself alone as he took in his surroundings.
"Hello! Anyone here?" He called out.
No response.
"Where am I?" He asked rhetorically.
"Why, can't you tell?" Ron turned around to find the voice answering his question, the figure sitting on a tree stump. "You're in hell," Zorpox declared. "Welcome."
