A/N: yay! another chapter done! just to let you know, this story is based off a very good friend of mine's life. enjoy!
My friends were, to say the least, disappointed. They thought I had "stronger will-power" than that. That I of all people would not give into childish affection. They told me to get over him and move on.

Do they not know how hard I tried to do that? Don't they realize that it isn't one of those quick fix problems that we learn about when we are kids. This is real life, not dollhouse. You can't just decide that the daughter doesn't love the gardener's son just because he picks his nose. For me to stop caring about someone who I had for over a year, is like asking me to sacrifice my heart and soul.

Impossible. Absolutely and entirely impossible.

Life moved on but my fondness for The Swine did not. I learned to ignore the feelings I got when he was around. It just became this dull ache in my chest, like after you cry so much you have a horrible headache and can't breathe. Try living with that everyday.

Occasionally, people would ask me who I like. Friends would shake their heads and tell them. Then, once again, I would be told of how much a creep and sleaze ball he was. Or just an all-around git. I would just shake it off and not respond. Because in my mind, he was beautiful. He was like an angel. Delicate and refined, his face was the most handsome face I had ever seen.

But maybe it was the mask on the face of the devil that I was seeing. It didn't matter either. I was nothing to him. My existence was nothing. I could never be his and he could never be mine.

Overtime, I started to get more and more obsessed. Crazed, even. I would be talking with friends especially one good friend, Dominique, and somehow, the topic would be switched over to that god. I could talk about him forever. Just the way his brilliant hair would fall in his striking eyes when he tilted his head to the right just a little. Or the way he always managed to smile so sincerely while laughing.

Dominique, well, she was and still is the Queen of Gossip. She is not a huge fan of him and told me everything she knew about him. She told me how he treated woman like he would a tissue. Take one, use it to its full extent, and then just dump like it was nothing with all the other trash. He's had so many girlfriends I've lost count. But I really don't care. I mean when you adore someone and the ground they walk, you sort of don't let anything sway you from your goal: Him.

Dominique told me of how I would go crazy one of these days because of him. But I paid no heed. I was "in love", remember?

But somewhere deep down inside, I knew that something was off. That tragedy would strike soon. I will be his downfall, and he will be mine.