Warning: This was written by a sleep-deprieved person who just took a test on this play-book thingy from a teacher who is awesome and has a really good sense of humour with her wrong answers.

Oh, and I don't own the original play or the characters, I just own MY NAME!

A bunch of girls were dancing around in a forest and decided to find their psycho friend's slave. When they found her, she was slautering a chicken to make soup.

"Hey, you're not like us, so that means you're weird and can make John Proctor fall in love with me!" Abby yells. Tituba's like, "Okay, sure, why not?" and does a love charm. Abby starts dancing again and yells "HAH JOHN PROCTOR LOVES ME NOW!" And rips off her clothes.

Tituba's like, what the crap? so, she throws the dead chicken at her. "You're weird, have a chicken, now shut up."

Then Abby's dad walks by and is like, is that my daughter that I shouldn't have cuz I'm like so holiness and such? She's naked, that's weird.

Then, Abby's cousin person, her sister, yah, her sister starts yelling that she wants her mommy. Well, the puritan idiot-pants guy, Abby's dad is stupid. So, it's like: "I WANT MY MOMMY!" and Abby's dad is like "WITCH!"

So, they call this guy named Hale to the villiage, he's like "Sup, I'm like totally Hale." Everybody makes him find a witch, and then don't listen to him, he doesn't matter anymore.

Then, Abby and her psycho-Hippie dancers-people are like, getting acused of being witches, so Abby realizes something. "John Proctor doesn't love me, Tituba lied... WITCH!"

Tituba is just like, "Okay... weirded out." And then they start hitting her with a stick. "I'll throw a dead chicken at you, you psychos." So she calls out some names and the witch-hunt begins.

Before long, Abby realizes that she could kill Goody Proctor and have John fall in love with her. "Dude, I could kill Elizabeth and steal John, that'll prove I'm not crazy!"

So, seh accuses Elizabeth of witchcraft and John Proctor's like, "WAHHHH, just cuz I cheated on you, doesn't mean I want you dead!" So, he goes to the court.

They don't believe him that Abby is a lying whore, so he tells them he cheated on his wife with her. Then Abby's like, "I can't have done anything with him, I'm not a chic!" Then she rips off her weird skin and turns out to be Dennis Rodman. Everybody is weirded out, so they arrest John and everyone else in the villiage.

Then, Abby-Rodman is like, "That John is so hott, he can't die." So she tries to get him to go with her. He's not crazy so he's like, "Yah, I'll take life." And runs with her.

Then, they end up catching John and Hale is like "That's not how the play goes, stupid." And John is like "Awww... I don't wanna die, I don't wanna!" And so they hang him.

Everybody gets hanged and Abby is looking at it from really far away.

"Hah, I'm really far away and watching people die, HAH YOU DIED AND I DIDN'T! Oh, hello little oppossum." She is mauled by oppossums.

---THE END--