Chapter 2: "The First Stand"
Kyon spoke cautiously. "What do you mean by 'terminate' us?"
"Read the letter", Haruhi glared at him coldly.
"Can't you just tell us?"
"Just read it!" she flared up in anger. Haruhi was in no mood to be trifled with. Kyon clenched his teeth and looked downwards. Taking a deep breath, he began:
Dear Miss Suzumiya and fellow members of the SOS Brigade,
Please know that this letter was sent to you only after great consideration and reluctance among the members of the Student Council. As you know, a few months ago this particular club was formed and recognized by a member of yours by the identity of "Kyon.". However, as of today, the Student Council has unanimously voted to disassemble the club on alleged accounts that you have been warned repeatedly for minor infractions on school grounds, and thus the club has become completely unacceptable according to our tolerance code. At the behest of the Student Council, we hereby authorize complete termination and dismantling of the SOS Brigade clubroom and the disbanding of its members. At 3 o'clock sharp tomorrow, the Literary Club room should be completely void off all Brigade related materials. Failure to do so will result in severe repercussions for all club members. Please contact the Student Council if you have any further questions.
Best wishes, the Student Council
Below the main body of text was a multitude of signatures that could've belonged to none other than the Council members.
Kyon sighed and handed the paper back to her, helpless in what to say next.
"'Best wishes', those lying idiots!" Haruhi scowled. "They've been planning this coup de tat from the start! 'Minor infractions?' 'Repercussions?' You see, Kyon? You see? This is why democracy fails! Everyone votes against me!"
"Haruhi, maybe there's been a mistake-"
"A mistake! Kyon, did you even look at it? They're trying to ban my club! They're trying to ban me!"
"Well maybe if you haven't been physically harassing Asahina-san all the time, blackmailing people, beating up on others, and actually tried to contribute to society every once in a while, this wouldn't have happened!" Kyon gave a mental retort.
She snatched the paper from him, stuffed it into her briefcase, and made her way towards the door. "I'm going to have a little 'talk' with the Council", she said, making her way to the door.
"Haruhi, I'm not so sure that's a good idea right now-" Kyon started.
SLAM!
Kyon winced as the surface of the door scraped his nose. He stepped back, looked at the others, and shrugged.
"All we can do is wait."
A few minutes later, the Brigade Chief angrily stomped back into the clubroom. "They've all gone home", she explained, keeping it short and simple. "We should too. First thing tomorrow I'll really give them hell."
Everyone stared.
"I said go home!" she shouted. As if her words brought them back from the dead, everyone in the room, save Nagato, sprang forward, grabbed their packs and darted out before it became a smoldering wreck. Haruhi slammed the door once again and left Nagato alone, leaving only the fading sun's rays to give her reading light.
"Curious", Nagato said quietly to herself. She snapped the book shut and stood up to leave.
Outside the school gate, Kyon slapped his forehead in frustration. "Ugh, that was the worst day of my life. How could one letter threaten the destruction of all humanity!"
"Somehow, I knew this day would come, Kyon", Itsuki piped up. "Miss Suzumiya was a ticking bomb from the start. Sooner or later she would snap, lash out, or overreact in some way."
Koizumi kept his footsteps in rhythm with Kyon's, slowly making his way down to the suburbs with him, all the while contemplating the demise of the Brigade.
"I don't believe this. Get rid of the SOS Brigade? The world will become one giant black hole and I won't even be there to laugh in Haruhi's face when she finally gets what's coming to her! Sealed Realities are going to be popping up more than pictures of Mikuru on our website. On top of that, you'll be gone forever-"
"No, wait, that's a plus", Kyon thought.
"Well, Kyon. If I am going to be destroyed and reincarnated in another dimensional universe, I just wanted to say that…you will be sorely missed among my colleagues. Your sarcastic banter and cynical, yet zany outlook on life has truly been a pleasure", Itsuki replied with a smile.
"Can the sweet talk, Itsuki. As long as we're still alive, how can we keep it that way?" Kyon asked.
"Unfortunately, I have no advice to offer at this time, Kyon, but perhaps we'll discuss this in the afterlife that's soon to come and then I'll have something", Itsuki waved his hand unnecessarily.
"No, Itsuki. There's something rotten here. The Student Council could've dealt with Haruhi months ago, when the real problems with the Brigade were rearing their ugly heads. Why now? Why this late?"
"I have no answer for that. My deductive reasoning skills are not as advanced as your's, Professor Kyon", Itsuki replied, still smiling.
"Leave the sarcasm to me, you bastard", Kyon glared at him out of the corner of his eye. "I'm serious, Itsuki. Something's up."
"Kyon, I have to ask you something important."
"Yes?"
"Have you ever read the Old Testament?" Itsuki had stopped walking and turned to face him. Kyon did the same.
"Yes, a few parts. Why?"
"Now for a more personal question", Itsuki continued, "have you ever committed a sin against God?"
"Does living a normal, happy life without the influence of religion count as a sin?" Kyon inquired with a raised eyebrow.
"Technically, yes. But on a much more down-to-Earth allegation, I must be blunt", Itsuki paused for a moment. "Kyon, the fact of the matter is you have not committed a sin against 'God' before today."
Kyon gave him a peculiar look. "I don't think I'm following you."
"Do you know what happens when a person sins against God in the Old Testament?" Itsuki asked.
"They're usually curse, plagued, killed, slaughtered mercilessly?"
"Exactly, Kyon. In order to avoid incurring 'God's' wrath, we'll just have to make sure the Student Council or the real perpetrators behind the attempted beheading of the SOS will 'repent' for their sins against Miss Suzumiya."
"Are you implying that the signatures at the bottom of that document were forged?" Kyon was somewhat taken aback.
"Perhaps. Perhaps not, Kyon. You said it yourself that you were suspicious the Council was taking action against us so late. But the best thing we can do now is hope that the letter was forged in order to put my plan into action."
"You already have one?" Kyon asked, unsurprised.
"Yes. Just unleash Miss Suzumiya upon them and all will be fixed", Itsuki said with a smile.
"Only in the Roman Colisseum would that work", Kyon thought. "What? That's your brilliant plan? That won't solve much. If anything, they'll work three times as hard to get rid of us."
"We're not going to send plagues down from the sky or anything of the sort, Kyon. Just a simple talk and things will go smoothly", Itsuki explained.
"And what about Nagato and Asahina? Do they have any part in this?" Kyon asked.
"I have faith in Miss Suzumiya's abilities to…persuade others to bend to her will. Besides, I will personally assist her in this endeavor, so there's no chance of failure! Let's just hope for the best, shall we?" Itsuki replied, completely ignoring Kyon's question.
"Right, hope for the best", Kyon nodded. "We're doomed", he immediately said afterwards.
The duo had reached a street only a few blocks away from Kyon's residence before Itsuki turned towards him.
"Well, this is where we part, Kyon. Do me a favor and repeat what you did today in the clubroom. Pray for our success", Itsuki smiled warmly.
"Will do", Kyon answered back.
As he turned to go home, he heard Itsuki's voice from behind him. "Hey, Kyon!"
"What?"
"Didn't you ride a bike to school today?"
Kyon's eyes widened in horror as he looked back towards the school grounds. The fading rays of sunlight were gone now, with the entire landscape swallowed up by pitch-black darkness.
"Oh, shit", Kyon thought. "I think I might've forgotten something…"
