Summary – Rodney is not getting laid nearly as much as he should be and it's all John's fault. McShep
Disclaimer – I don't own them, they'd get more sex if I owned them, they'd be dead more too though so I guess it evens out…
Rating – PG
Blaming JohnRodney was practically spitting in fury as he stormed into John's office and the pilot blinked in surprise before settling back for what was clearly going to be a long conversation.
"It all makes sense now," he cried dramatically and John manfully fought the urge to roll his eyes.
"What makes sense?"
Rodney ignored him. Or maybe he honestly didn't hear, it was hard to tell. "And it's all your fault."
John gave in finally and rolled his eyes, leaning further back in the chair. Of course it was. The fact that he didn't know what he was getting blamed for wasn't anything new.
"What's wrong, Rodney?"
"You're the reason I'm not getting laid nearly as much as I should be!"
John choked and sat up so fast the chair, which had been tilted back on two legs, tipped to the side and he tumbled out of it. A second later he managed to untangle himself and look over the desk to where Rodney was glaring at him pointedly.
Rodney gave an aggrieved sigh as John's head popped out from behind the desk, hair even more tousled than usual.
"What?" the pilot choked.
"You're the reason I'm not getting laid nearly as much as I should be!" John shook his head sharply, trying to wake himself up.
"It all makes sense now!" Rodney was clearly working up to something. "The way people in the lab keep smirking at me and Carson never complains anymore when I sit with you when you're in the infirmary and how Cadman told me that it was sweet of me to try and protect you but everyone already knew."
"Get to the point McKay," John ordered even as he had a feeling he wasn't going to like where this was going.
The physicist turned wild eyes on him. "The reason I'm not getting laid more is because everyone thinks I'm shagging you!"
John blinked. "Excuse me?"
"Everyone thinks we're sleeping together."
"We are sleeping together," John pointed out.
Rodney looked at him like he was brain damaged. "I know but for a start they're not supposed to know that and for seconds it's not like it's exclusive. We just happen to have hot sex every so often, there's no reason I shouldn't be getting some from every corner of the city but I can't because I've just been enlightened to the fact that everyone thinks I'm in an extremely serious, extremely devoted relationship with you and that any attempt I make to date other people will be seen as a screen to save your career!"
John shook his head, that was a lot of information to receive in less than ten seconds. Once again he found himself wondering if Rodney had to breathe.
It was a fairly useful trait when applied to… certain other activities but sometimes it was just so… okay, still hot.
Suddenly he realised that Rodney was waiting for a response.
"Who else did you want to sleep with?" he found himself asking and who knew he was a masochist?
Rodney spluttered. "That's not the point. The point is that I should have the option."
John lowered his head slightly. "You know, if you're not getting enough sex you could just come over more often."
Rodney's eyes shot up to stare at him. "But what about all those other people you're sleeping with?" he asked hesitantly.
"Since you…" John shrugged, praying he wasn't making a big mistake. "Not so much."
"Well if I'd known that-" Rodney broke off, his eyes narrowing suspiciously. "Is this your backwards, sneaky and utterly underhand way of asking me to be exclusive."
John bit his lip. "Pretty much, yeah."
Rodney rolled his eyes and launched himself towards him, knocking John out of the chair he'd finally scrambled back into. "Well why didn't you just say so?" he demanded and kissed him.
