A.N: Happy very very belated Valentine's Day ; )

Only in Your Head

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Blaine's next door neighbour is a slut.

There's no other way to put it.

Blaine has seen more John's go in than come out honestly, which makes him wonder if his neighbour imprisons them in his house for sexual deviousness or if they just plain hate him so much they jump out of the window to their deaths.

He pours himself a glass of water and squints out the window to the balcony next to his.

The drop isn't that far. Then he shakes his head to clear his mind and returns to his novel.

A glass of red wine sits untouched by his nightstand and he gives the other, emptier, unrumpledside of the bed a longing glance.

He's never been one for one night stands. Or in his neighbour's case, three night stands in a row. Blaine had always yearned for romance. Aches for it. He was born wishing and dreaming of soulmates, and a desperate need to find his.

Who can blame him if he can't own up to the awkward morning after rituals? He's rather be vegging on the couch with his commitment, sharing cake and bad movies. But that's just him.

His neighbour has no problem ushering out his conquests with small titters and frequent promises of calls and meeting that never actually happen.

Blaine pours himself a fresh glass of red.

ili

Blaine doesn't like to call himself a hipster. In fact he hates the term all together. He really can't help the fact that he likes scoping out new; better coffee shops to write at. He gets inspiration outside rather than holed up in his lonely apartment.

It's something about a new table with the light hitting it a certain way or the smell of a hot cup of coffee. At times he just sits and makes back stories to strangers lives, like the woman with purple hair or the man walking his dog way too early in the morning.

They go about their business and Blaine watches. That's what he's best at, especially when his neighbour comes in.

His name is Kurt Hummel and he's beautiful. He's also a bit of a man-whore.

He comes to this particular coffee shop every Monday to get a tall, non-fat mocha and a buttered croissant. He plops down by the corner table with the speaker right above it and starts writing. Just like Blaine.

Except Blaine stands and darts outside before Kurt sits down. He really hates being in the same coffee shop more than once.

ili

Blaine's neighbour only has classes on Tuesdays, Thursday's and Fridays. He works on Monday afternoons and Wednesday Nights. He brings guests over every Saturday and Sunday weekend.

They never spend more than a day, and these are the days Blaine can't sleep because the bedrooms are across from each other and the bed from his neighbour's room thumps against the wall when they're going at it particularly rough.

On these nights Blaine pours himself extra wine and sits at his desk to try and write.

He never gets inspiration, but sometimes the wall is battered so hard white chalk dust flutters down and on his sheets and Blaine spends time picking at it.

He never does finish his third chapter by the deadline.

Ili

Blaine has never really hated Christmas. He came out on Christmas Eve and almost thought of it as a special occasion. That was until his father beat him bloody.

That was also the night he had to spend at the hospital so the nurse could explain to him what kind of brain damage his head had gained.

His mother cries, but Blaine thinks Christmas is beautiful and full of joy so he pretends she's crying because the news is wonderful.

His father leaves their family home and never comes back.

Blaine gets out of the hospital a week later. Cured.

His mother begins to drink out of grief and his brother's never heard from again. Blaine likes to think everyone's just growing up and learning new things. Just like him. He rides his bike for two hours before the thoughts in his head calm down and he can think clearly again.

ili

Blaine doesn't hate his neighbour. He just thinks he could do so much better. Those random boys he keeps bringing in only seem to fuck around with him and break his heart.

Blaine would never.

Blaine would hold him at night so they could cuddle, and when it got cold, Blaine would volunteer to grab an extra blanket so Kurt would be comfortable.

Blaine is a gentleman. He only likes the finer things in life. He longs for romance and common interests. He loves Broadway and musicals in general and so does his neighbour. Kurt is really good at having the same interests as Blaine.

Blaine thinks it's cute he tries to impress him so hard. There's no need. Blaine is already impressed, but the one thing he could stand to work on, Blaine thinks; is that one man who Kurt continues to bring back home with him.

The man is tall, and blonde. His name is Adam and he's got an accent because he's from another country. Blaine hates him. Kurt brings him over for dinner three times and they sleep together only once.

Blaine cries curled in a ball on his bed. He tries to tune out the sounds of the bed hitting the wall, but his nails are raking angrily through the sheets and he can't sleep all night.

The bed sheets are in shreds by morning.

ili

Kurt never really got introduced to Blaine. Or vice versa. They met when Blaine was taking his laundry down to be washed again because the first load didn't get all the stains, when suddenly out of nowhere a beautiful man walks by him.

It's Kurt, and he smiles big and says a polite 'hello' when Blaine catches eyes with him.

Blaine ducks his head and fumbles with his laundry basket. He repeats the word quietly and dashes out of the hall to get his laundry done.

He breathes hard and leans against the dryer and tries to calm his shaking hands.

The man had said hello to him like it was the greatest word in the English dictionary. Blaine feels like tearing out his hair again, but he remembers what the nurse had said before and begins to do deep breathing exercises. He stretches his arms three times and counts to a hundred twice. Then he puts his laundry into the washing machine and sits to watch the clothes turn around and around again for the next 40 minutes.

Once it's done he puts it away and steps into the hall.

He waits until he's sure his new neighbour had gone to sleep.

Then he stands outside of his door to look into the peephole for two hours.

ili

Blaine is a timid man. He wears simple clothes that don't stand out and he takes his coffee black because he likes it that way. He doesn't like to fuss when things don't come out fair for him. And he doesn't like to make a big deal out of nothing.

He's only seen that new Adam guy three times so far, and heard him going about and fucking Kurt a total of two times. Blaine doesn't like to make a big deal out of nothing. So he rests easy knowing Kurt's new boytoy will probably leave by next week.

Blaine's counting on it.

ili

Blaine spots Kurt just as he's turning the corner and frowns upset when he sees him carrying groceries.

It's not the groceries that upset Blaine; it's not the fact that Kurt is carrying them with desperate heaves as they weigh a good ton. It's Adam, trailing behind him with twice as many grocery bags and way out of breath for someone his age.

They're laughing and clunking around and side-stepping each other awkwardly when they get too close. Blaine's about to take his key out of the keyhole, but he's frozen in bewilderment at the sight of Adam taking a key out of his pocket and opening the door to Kurt's apartment.

Before Blaine can blink and as Adam goes into the apartment, Kurt turns and catches eyes with Blaine and shoots him a small smile before going in and locking the door behind him.

Blaine enters his own apartment, toes off his shoes, goes to his bathroom, starts his shower and lies down in the water so he can scream without being heard.

He can't speak the next day and his mind races.

Adam has to go.

ili

The next time Blaine sees Kurt, Kurt's eyes are red from crying. He's trying to hide it by rubbing his face into his arm sleeve, but that just makes his face blotchy and wetter.

Blaine looks on sympathetically from the parking lot. A newspaper lies next to his feet.

'Local man found dead in ditch after hit and run accident.'

Blaine moves forward to introduce himself to Kurt and offer condolences.

Kurt shrugs him off and darts into the apartment building.

Blaine begins to cry from frustration.

ili

Blaine has never actually cooked, but he's also never baked before either.

He's trying one of the two today.

He makes cupcakes in the shape of a heart. In red icing he writes on top "I love you Kurt Hummel"

When he produces them at Kurt's doorway, they're thrown in his face and he leaves the tray in front of the door. He digs his fingernails into his arm so hard he bleeds.

ili

Blaine is a simple man. He loves black coffee, he loves watching romance movies. He's not that good at cooking, but he's gotten a lot better at baking.

He loves to bake for his neighbour. His neighbour's name is Kurt Hummel. He's stopped going to school and work has called him four times before Blaine had to unplug the phone because the ringing annoys him.

His neighbour never brings boys home anymore. He stays home like a good boy and waits for Blaine. He loves Blaine's cooking and can't wait to try his new cake recipe. Blaine hand feeds it to him and wipes his face when he gets crumbs all over him.

Blaine loves taking care of his boyfriend. He gets giddy when he says that.

He loves curling up against him and he loves wrapping Kurt's arms around him.

He wishes Kurt got more enthusiastic during their lovemaking. And he wishes his body didn't smell so bad, but Blaine is gentle when preparing it. He takes his time when he washes it because he loves his boyfriend. He has to keep him clean and comfortable if they're going to last.

Blaine gets tired sometimes, from transferring and moving Kurt's body, but soon another neighbour starts to smell something funny and calls the police.

Blaine bursts into tears when they take his boyfriend from him.

ili

Blaine was in love.

He tells this to his nurse frequently. Sometimes she approaches him to ask him about it. Sometimes he shouts it from across the room.

Blaine is sad.

His rooms are clean but Kurt had isn't here. He isn't here anymore, because bad people took him away.

Blaine counts to a hundred twice in his head.