Alice pulled up to Claire's apartment building, it was early in the morning but she couldn't wait to see the redhead. She felt sick to her stomach thinking about the night before, she had really let Rain get to her and she shouldn't have. Rain was nothing to her now, Alice should never have given the woman so much power over her. Alice could feel her heart pounding as she bounded up the steps two at a time, her impatience to see Claire causing her to nearly buzz with adrenaline.

If she wasn't already out of breath from running up the stairs she would have sighed in relief as the apartment door came into view. She all but sprinted towards it, she hadn't even thought about what she would say to her girlfriend yet, all she knew in this moment was that she needed to see her. Once the door was within reach Alice knocked firmly and was surprised when the door swung open from the force. But her surprise at the movement was nothing compared to the shock she felt when she stepped into the apartment.

She had grown accustomed to the Redfield's dwelling, the first thing she often noticed when she came over was the large, overly comfy, highly impractical couch where she and Claire had shared their first kiss. Her eyes would then always wander to the kitchen which had seen a remarkable improvement in it's cleanliness that Alice would attribute to herself. The rest of the apartment still held a certain degree of disarray that Alice had just grown use the past few months. No matter how many times Claire would remind K-Mart the teenager would still leave various articles of clothing on the floor, couch or other places. Recently the apartment had started to feel more like a home to her than her own house. She spent more nights here than in her own bed and the life Claire and K-Mart breathed into the space made her feel more comfortable than she would have thought possible, her own painting hanging on the wall a reminder of her contribution to the liveliness of the space.

But when she stepped into the apartment she wasn't greeted by the sight of that big comfortable couch, her painting on the wall, nor the Redfield's themselves. She wasn't greeted by anything. Just an empty space. She rushed over to the door of Claire's bedroom and burst through it, into another empty room. She ran across the living room to the door of K-Mart's room, just to find it empty as well. There was nothing to be found in the apartment save two sets of keys on the kitchen countertop.

Alice felt her legs give out as she collapsed to her knees, tears rushing down her face. She didn't understand, what happened? How could they be gone? How could this be happening to her again? Why did people keep leaving her? What was so awful about herself to cause her parents, Rain and now Claire to just skip out without saying a word? Alice felt herself shaking, the tears and her breathing uncontrollable. She felt herself getting dizzy, she knew she was going to pass out the moment before it happened.


"Noooo!" Alice's eyes shot open as she awoke with a start. It took her a moment to realize the reality, it had been a dream...a nightmare.

She was covered in sweat and completely out of breath. She sat up in her bed gasping for air. In her attempt to rub her eyes she found she was crying for real. She didn't try to stop, she just let the tears fall. She curled her legs up, resting her chin on her knees as she cried. And that was how Carlos found her when he came bursting into the room a moment later.

"Alice!" He quickly took in her appearance and rushed over to sit on the edge of her bed. "You were screaming." He said as he reached out to pull her into his arms. Alice continued to cry as a he rubbed her back and held her tightly. He didn't try to stop her tears or tell her it would be okay. He knew better.

There had been many nights over the years where Carlos had woken up to Alice screaming. And every time he would come and hold her gently and rub her back until she would calm down. Those were the moments when Carlos felt and acted most like a brother, a brother she was grateful to have. He was the only person Alice ever told about the nightmares. He was the only one who knew how the dreams had changed as she grew up. When she first moved in with the Oliveras she would only dream about that fateful day when she had come home from school to find her parents gone. She had dreamt about that day more times than she could ever attempt to count. But as she grew up the dream had changed, sometimes she would dream she woke up one morning and the Oliveras had left in the middle of the night and no matter how many time Carlos had assured her that would never happen the nightmares never stayed away for too long.

After her relationship with Rain had ended in the same manner as her parents she had nightmares every night for months. Sometimes the nightmares would appear in combinations. She would dream of going to Rain's apartment and finding she had gone and then find that when she went home Carlos had left as well. Those nights were the worst.

"Who?" That was the only thing Carlos ever asked. Who had been the person who abandoned her in the nightmare?

Alice didn't answer until her tears her subsided enough for her to catch her breath. "Claire," she whispered. "This is the first time it's been her." Losing Carlos was a nightmare she'd had countless times over the years and even though she trusted him, knew he would always be there for her, nothing ever kept the dreams away for long. Until she met Claire, she hadn't had a single nightmare in months. Easily the longest she had ever gone without one of those nightmares and now they were back. And now, to have Claire included in this nightmare, it shook Alice. She liked Claire, a lot, more than she was willing to admit to herself but it was getting harder to ignore the seriousness of her feelings now she'd had a nightmare about losing the redhead. "I can't believe this, it's been so long since I had one of these" Alice sighed, "It just feels like I am right back where I started."

"You're not, trust me" Carlos reassured her. "Don't let one nightmare and one run in with Rain undo all the progress you've made. You dreamt about Claire because she means something to you, she's someone you don't want to lose. A few months ago I wouldn't have believed it if someone had told me you would be in a happily committed relationship-"

"Me neither."

"But you are! You have opened yourself up to feeling things again. It's natural to be scared of losing someone important to you. I know you have more experience than most in having to deal with losing people but you don't have to worry about losing Claire."

"You're probably right."

"I know I am," he gave her a reassuring smile and while she appreciated the gesture and his words they did little to relieve her concerns.

Alice did her best to return the smile though, "Thanks Carlos. I think I'll be ok now."

"Anytime Alice, you know that." He gave her arm a gentle squeeze before standing up. "Its really early, try to get some more sleep if you can." He waited for her to nod in agreement before leaving the room.

She waited until his footsteps faded up the stairs before she allowed herself to fall back into the bed with a loud sigh. "Fuck." She wanted more than anything to talk to Claire right now, just to know she still could. These nightmares always felt so real and the feelings they stirred up were never easy to shake off. Alice picked up her phone and had her thumb hovering over Claire's name but ultimately stopped herself. It was late or early depending on how you looked at it. Claire was most definitely asleep and Alice didn't want to bother her with this, what would she even say? She had shared small bits of information about her parents before but never told her the whole story and she had never once mentioned Rain or how things had ended with her. Alice didn't think she could handle getting into all of that over the phone. So instead she set aside her phone and pulled the blanket over her head, hoping sleep would come quickly and that this time it would be nightmare free.


When she awoke Alice was surprised to see it was after nine in the morning, she almost never slept in that late. The extra hours didn't make her feel any more rested, if anything she still felt exhausted from the nights events. Even worse was sleeping in had robbed her of a chance to talk to Claire before the redhead had started her shift, now she'd have to wait until lunchtime to call her girlfriend.

With her mood already soured for the morning Alice dragged herself out of bed and finally peeled off her clothes from the previous night in favour of sweats and a t-shirt. Making her way upstairs Alice started making a mental checklist of things she could do. She didn't have to work which was both a blessing and a curse. On one hand she was glad to not have to leave the house but on the other she'd have to find ways to distract herself. Carlos had already left for the day but he'd left a note on the fridge saying if she needed anything to give him a call. She quickly discarded the note, the mere sight of it reminding her of how he had found her crying over those stupid nightmares once again. Alice opened the fridge a couple of times before deciding to skip breakfast, her anxiety making it impossible to seriously consider eating anything at the moment.

Instead, she made her way to the broom closet and just the sight of the fully stocked supplies helped ease Alice's mind a little. Cleaning was one of the easiest ways Alice found control in her life. It was something that had started when she was very young, her father had slapped her after tripping over one of her toys. After that Alice had never so much as left a crayon out of place. Even once she moved in with the Oliveras Alice had never left a room dirtier than when she had entered it. The serenity she felt when cleaning was probably why she had kept that job at the hospital for so long. It was therefore just a subconscious reaction to decide the best way to distract her mind would be to do a full cleaning of the house. But just as she reached for the Lysol she was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell.

Alice was more than a little surprised to find her girlfriend standing on the other side of the door. "Claire? What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at work?"

"I called in sick" she replied. "Don't tell K-Mart I played hooky" she added as an afterthought. "I wanted to check on you."

Alice stepped aside to let Claire into the house. "How did you get here?"

"The bus...well two buses technically but nevermind that Alice, how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine" Alice felt the other woman's gaze burn into her and knew Claire could see through the lie. She sighed, showcasing the exhaustion she felt. "Well physically I am fine," she amended. "It's just everything up here" she tapped the side of her head for emphasis "is a bit of a mess."

Claire looked concerned. "Did you get enough sleep? Maybe you need to go back to bed."

"No!" Alice immediately protested. Upon seeing the unspoken question in Claire's eyes Alice sighed again and led her into the living room to sit down, knowing she was going to have to offer some kind of explanation.

Alice decided to just stick to her most recent source of anxiety. "I get these nightmares sometimes...a lot of the time actually. In the dream I come home from work or school or the store and find the house empty and everyone is gone. I've had variations of that nightmare at least a hundred times in the last 15 years, sometimes I dream about the day I came home from school and discover that my parents had left and abandoned me, sometimes it's the Oliveras, other times I dream I come home here and its Carlos who has left with no warning or goodbye." Alice took a deep breath before continuing. "It doesn't matter how many times I have that nightmare, every single time it leaves me in a bad head space for a while. And last night, it was the first time that it was..." Claire picked up Alice's hand, squeezing it gently in reassurance. "It was the first time it was you. I went to your apartment and it was empty and you and K-Mart were gone."

"Oh Alice," Claire pulled her into a tight hug and it was only then that Alice realized she had started to cry. Claire held her for a long time while Alice cried, unable to stop herself. When she eventually calmed down Claire pulled back just enough to wipe the tears from Alice's face. Claire waited with uncharacteristic patience for Alice's breathing to steady out before she spoke again. "I know it probably felt real, dreams are very good at tricking us sometimes but I just want to you to really hear me Alice and believe when I say that no one is going anywhere without you. I know your parents hurt you when they did that, I cannot even begin to imagine what that must have felt like but please know you don't have to worry about that happening ever again. We care about you so much and would never hurt you like that."

"I know," Alice sniffled, trying to keep further tears at bay. "It's just so frustrating. It has been years since they left and I'm worried that I'll never get over it. I hate how weak it makes me feel."

"Alice you went through something traumatic, I don't think anyone could appreciate just how painful that was for you. I don't think it's something you do get over. But it shaped you into the person you are, someone who is empathetic, patient, understanding and kind. A person who would never intentionally hurt another because you know what it feels like to be hurt. A person I really like and feel incredibly lucky to know."

That was the moment Alice realized Claire was in love with her. The sincerity in her words and the way she was looking at the blonde were silent signals that infiltrated Alice's brain and tugged at her heart. Claire hadn't said the exact words but her meaning was crystal clear. Surprisingly still, the realization didn't fill Alice with a mad panic like she thought it would, rather it was comforting. It made her feel safe, like Claire would accept anything Alice told her and still want to be around her. Claire knew Alice had been through a lot and it never made her flinch away, if anything it just made her hold on tighter.

She must have been staring because Claire's face now looked worried. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

Alice shook her head. "It's nothing. Just...thank you Claire." Alice wiped the remaining tears from her eyes. "You are a really good girlfriend. I feel incredibly lucky to know you as well."

The redhead beamed, a hint of a blush gracing her cheeks. "Thanks."

Alice felt infinitely better than when she had woken up. If Claire hadn't shown up she was sure her day would have been miserable. Not long ago she had been desperate for a distraction and now her day was open to possibilities. "Since you are playing hooky does that mean I'm blessed with your company for the entire day?"

"Absolutely. Any suggestion on how we can spend our day?"

Alice's stomach growled loudly in response, apparently her appetite had returned.

Claire chuckled. "I guess that means we should start with breakfast."


"This is a nice picture" Claire commented. They were in the kitchen, Alice making coffee while Claire took in the room. Their shared time was usually spent at the Redfield's apartment and though Alice didn't mind there was something about having Claire in her own home that tugged at her heart.

Alice turned to see what she was referring to and grinned upon spotting the one Claire was pointing to. The photograph stuck to the front of the fridge showed Alice, Carlos, LJ, Betty and Jill standing in front of a tent in the woods. "Oh yeah it's one of my favourites." She walked over to get a closer look. "We went on a camping trip last summer, Betty didn't want to but she was outvoted." Alice chuckled at the memory. She then pointed to the woman she realized Claire didn't recognize. "This is my friend Jill. We were college roommates."

"Where is she now?" Claire asked.

Alice sighed, "Jill works for the Racoon City police. She does a lot of undercover work for the guns and gangs unit."

"Wow, that is a tough job."

The blonde nodded. "She's been on this current assignment for like five months now. It sucks every time she goes undercover because we can't have contact but they say no news is good news right?" Alice shook her head as if it would clear the worry for her friend and tried to put on a smile. "When she gets out you will definitely have to meet her. She is going to be shocked when she finds out about you. Probably a little pissed too that she didn't get to interrogate beforehand."

Claire chuckled at that. "I will be happy to answer questions she may have." She wrapped an arm around the blonde and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "I can see that you're worried about her. It's ok to be worried. With Chris' job in the military there are sometimes extended periods of time where K-Mart and I can't get in touch with him or know where he is. It sucks but you are right. No news is good news."

"I do miss her" Alice admitted for the first time even to herself, this is the longest Jill had ever been gone. "Hopefully she will be back soon so you can meet, I think you will get along."

She couldn't help but think it would be nice to have Jill around in case Rain made another appearance. After Rain had left without notice leaving Alice devastated it had been Jill who was there to pick up the pieces. Carlos had tried his best but he went to an out of state college, limiting his ability to be present during that time. Jill was the one who made sure she got out of bed every day forced Alice to get back on with her life.

"If she is anything like your other friends I am sure I will like her."

Alice looked at the picture of her friends and couldn't help but smile. She had some excellent people in her life and with the addition of Claire her future had never looked more inviting. She decided in that moment to no longer let painful ghosts from her past sabotage her present. With her abandonment issues Alice had tried to close herself off to new people, opportunities and chances for love but the picture on her fridge and the woman standing in her kitchen proved she had failed. Alice had people who wanted to be in her life and who she trusted not walk away when things were hard.

"What made you decide to come over" she heard herself ask Claire without even thinking. "Not that I'm not happy you are here because I am it's just... you could have called or texted to see how I was doing."

"Because I know you would have said you were fine even if it wasn't the truth. I know you think it's inconveniencing people by asking for help but it couldn't be further from the truth. I came over because I knew you'd never ask me to and I wanted to see for myself how you were doing. Last night you seemed so...off?"

Alice was surprised at how well Claire seemed to know her in the three short months they'd been dating but maybe she shouldn't have been. Claire was a great listener and always knew when to push Alice for answers and when to respect her privacy. Claire had never asked her why she didn't want relationships though she was sure Claire had been curious and Claire had never once asked her about her life before she lived with the Oliveras. Even now, Claire was more concerned with Alice's well being rather than probing into what had caused it. Claire just seemed to know which topics she needed more time to talk about and for that Alice was very appreciative. Claire definitely deserved all the answers, deserved to know Alice completely and while she trusted Claire explicitly there was always that nagging deep in the back of her mind. That small voice that told her if Claire knew everything, if she knew Alice completely maybe she would see whatever it was about her that her parents and Rain saw that made them leave that made them decide she wasn't someone worth keeping. So she did what she always did, pushed the past as far back into her mind as she could and focused on the present.

"Last night I wasn't okay and this morning after that dream? I definitely wasn't okay. But it means a lot to me that you came over to check on me. It is definitely helping."

Claire pulled the blonde into a tight hug. "Anytime Alice" she whispered. "You know that right? You need me for anything, any time all you have to do is ask. Even if I have to take ten busses I will be there for you."

Alice knew Claire deserved someone much better than her. Claire deserved someone who could love her without all the emotional baggage that she was always carrying around. But Claire had chosen her, she knew Claire was in love with her so Alice was going to do her best to be that kind of person. So she held on to Claire tightly, determined to never let her go.


"You are really good at that you know?" Alice commented as Claire expertly massaged her scalp.

"Well I am a mechanic, it's pretty much a given I'm good with my hands." Alice hummed her agreement. The pleasant feeling almost lulling her to sleep. "Alice you have to stay awake you're going to miss the best part."

"Then you're going to have to stop that because it is way too relaxing" Alice forced herself to sit up on the couch so she could focus on the movie. Apparently Claire had a soft spot for underdog sports movies and they were on their second film of the morning. It was nice, just being together with nothing to do but waste the hours away.

"Can we watch Hoosiers next?" Alice requested when their current movie ended.

Claire nodded "Yes but after that we are definitely watching the Mighty Ducks."

"Deal."

Halfway through the movie Alice once again found her head in Claire's lap, skilled fingers once again threading through her hair gently. She could feel herself falling asleep and it seemed like this time Claire was going to let her when the sound of her phone ringing made her groan at being disturbed.

"It's Carlos," she said checking the screen. "I should probably get it." Alice reluctantly pulled herself up from the couch and moved back to the kitchen so Claire could continue watching the movie. "Hey Carlos," she greeted casually.

"You sound much better, how are you?"

"I'm doing okay. Claire came over to see how I was doing so we are just hanging out."

"Really?" Alice could hear the smile in her friend's voice. "That was really cool of her." He paused for a moment. "Did you tell her about Rain?"

"No, I really don't want to rehash old wounds more than I already have. And I don't want my baggage affecting her friendship with JD." She knew it was an excuse but Carlos didn't call her out on it.

"I guess that makes sense. I am glad you are feeling better. I just called to make sure you were okay so I guess I will see you later."

"Okay, thanks for checking on me Carlos."

"Anytime."

Alice hung up and returned to the living room where Claire was still enraptured with the movie. Alice just watched her for a minute. With how bad things had been with Rain, that's how good things were going with Claire. The redhead was everything her ex-girlfriend wasn't. Claire was compassionate and patient. She accepted Alice completely for who she was and never tried to control her.

Thinking back on her relationship with Rain, Alice had thought she knew what love was. But looking at Claire in that moment made her realize she hadn't had a clue. Everyday with Claire taught her something new about herself and her capacity to care for others.

"I can feel you staring at me" Claire spoke without turning her head from the movie.

Unperturbed at being caught Alice rejoined her on the couch.

"Everything okay?"

"Yep. Carlos just wanted to check up on me. I told him I was in good hands."

"If you are trying to flatter your way into another scalp massage, it's working."

Alice was pretty sure if she just asked for a scalp massage Claire would oblige because that was the type of person she was and Alice was pretty sure she was falling in love with her for it. And maybe that made it okay to have the bad experiences she'd had with Rain, to make her realize and appreciate how lucky she was to have Claire.

Alice took her hand as she got comfortable on the couch and turned her attention back to the movie. "I'm really glad I met you Claire." It wasn't a love confession, she wasn't ready for that just yet. But she was rewarded anyway when she felt Claire shift and a moment late there was a kiss pressed against her cheek.

"Me too" Claire sighed as she snuggled into Alice's side.