Disclaimer: No, I don't actually own Darkwing Duck or anything related to this show. Disney does.

AN: Oh dear…I've received all these nice reviews and here I am…taking half an eternity to update. There are no excuses for this. I simply have a very short attention span…plus, my computer and internet connection seems to be spawns of pure evil. I swear I can hear it chanting in some alien tongue as I write this…or maybe it's just the speakers picking up radio transmissions again…


"This...this was your great idea?" Megavolt asked tiredly, "A newspaper? Your idea is a newspaper?" he turned the paper upside down, just in case this would help to clarify matters. It didn't.

"No, Megsy, I got the idea when I read the newspaper."

"…you can read?"

A glare was enough to silence Megavolt, and Quackerjack continued; "Actually, the newspaper belonged to the man who gave me the idea," an over dramatic sigh, "Playtime didn't last very long with that one."

Hm…that explained the red stains, Megavolt thought and began to examine the paper. It had been a while since the rodent had read any kind of newspapers; they rarely held anything of interest, and the funnies weren't…well, funny anymore, "And who was that…eh…um…playmate?" he asked.

"I think his name was…" Quackerjack stared up at the ceiling while he tried to force himself to remember the name, "…Bob…or Ted…or Joe…uh something with three letters anyhow."

The toymaker leaned idly against Megavolt, "And he didn't know how to play at all. He started babbling something about; 'Oh, I'll tell you everything. Just let me go'," yet another over dramatic sigh, "I tried to make him understand, but alas…it was too no avail. Apparently They've been secretly developing some sort of new super… uh…doodad. Top secret, no knows about it," he whispered to emphasis the drama, "It was really annoying because even after he got that out of his system, Bob or Joe wouldn't shut up. 'Why are you doing this?' he said, 'I've told you everything I know', 'Please just let me die' and so on."

"Who're they?" Megavolt asked, eying a recipe for soufflé, sometimes even he missed eating things that didn't come from the micro. Weeks of eating nothing but toast could really drive you mad…or madder in his case.

"You know…they as in those in charge of the top secret…doodad…" Quackerjack looked shifty, "You know…" he hissed, leaning in close, "…the Man."

The awed gasp he had expected in return from Megavolt was not heard; instead Quackerjack simply got a mystified expression, "What man?" Megavolt asked, wondering if this was the same man that had tried to take away his driver's license.

"SHUSH."

"Oh sorry for asking, don't need to shush me for that," Megavolt snapped and looked like he was going to start sulking. Quackerjack shock his head sadly, "Not shush as in shush, SHUSH."

"Shush…?"

"YES!

"Well, now I'm completely confused. Are we talking about a secret organization or are you just being rude?"

Quackerjack snatched back the newspaper in an irate fashion, "Secret organization," he snarled.

Megavolt watched as his associate stormed over to a cluttered workshop and started mucking about over there. They had gone over to the jester's old abandoned warehouse, complete with an old and musty smell, mixed with the stench of burnt plastic.

Most of the space there was taken up by finished or soon to be finished toys.

An improved version of Rubik's Cube, now prone to explode and even more mind boggling.

Slinky springs trained for battle.

Chess where the loser got to be the pieces next time.

Quackerjack liked to refer to the place as the Condominium of Merriment, mainly because he liked those big long words.

Megavolt liked to refer to it as the House of Really Creepy Toys. Not that he ever say it to the other villain's face. He was insane, not stupid, and no one would actively try to end up on the wrong end of one of those really creepy toys.

If it's possible, thought Megavolt eyeing some kind of doll, the place looks even creepier than it did last time I was here.

After standing around and being ignored by Quackerjack, this was actually a lot better than having the toymaker's full attention when he moody, Megavolt finally sagged down into a chair, albeit with some hesitation. When it didn't riddle his body with spikes, he relaxed.

He was so incredibly tired and felt that if Quackerjack hadn't been there he'd fall asleep right away. Running away from the masked mallard had drained Megavolt's energy, not to mention that he always felt skittish after those confrontations. The purple clad vigilant always brought forth a nagging feeling in the back of his head, like he should know that there was more to Darkwing Duck than just Darkwing Duck.

Annoyance came by just thinking about it. Because when he tried to recall what caused that nagging feeling, he could always see the answer, but it seemed to slip away from him whenever he tried to focus on it. Like a really slippery fish that's…all slippery…

In small effort to start small talk or alike, anything to hunt the nagging feeling away, Megavolt cleared his throat. That didn't go as well as he'd hope, because it sounded more like he was choking than clearing his throat.

When he once again gained control over his lungs, he said; "You know, I had a place like this once."

At first, there was only the familiar sound of tinkering. Then; "The warehouse you borrowed from Dr Slug?"

Megavolt nodded, "That's the one," he searched the depths of his mind, "Whatever happened to it?"

"Darkwing Duck happened," Quackerjack answer, with enough venom dripping from his voice to poison half of St Canard.

Great. Why is it that almost all of our conversations end up being about him?

"Good thing I don't remember it then," Megavolt concluded and barely noticed how Quackerjack's concentration on his work was beginning to waver.

Evidently, it wasn't enough that the duck constantly foiled his schemes, but he seemed to be foiling his free time too, was the bitter thought that popped into Megavolt's head and he hoped whatever the nagging feeling was; it would be worth all this annoyance.

He was abruptly brought out from his reverie when Quackerjack leaned over his shoulder and began fiddling with his belt. Megavolt hoped the other didn't plan to force him wear a dress again. It hadn't been his proudest moment when he found that particular outfit to be oddly comfortable.

"So…what do you want to do about it?" Quackerjack asked mischievously. He was so close…and Megavolt felt that he wouldn't mind kissing the other. Although, the last time he'd been so bold he'd woken up the next day in an alley with only his unmentionables left. According to Quackerjack it had been an amazingly funny game. According to Megavolt himself, that so called game was one of the things that actually made him thankful for having a short-term memory that was a little…off.

"D-do about what?" Megavolt stuttered, trying to decide whether to sit absolutely still or run away. The decision was made for him when Quackerjack smoothly dropped down onto his lap.

"Silly, Megsy," Quackerjack said with a dangerously sweet voice, "About this whole SHUSH business," his hand went for his belt once again and Megavolt couldn't help but swallow nervously. It was a strange feeling to try pushing yourself through the back of a chair, while at the same time trying to push forward.

A hand snaked around his neck, and despite that Megavolt wouldn't ever dare to close his eyes around Quackerjack, he allowed himself to settle down a bit and return his partner in crime's gestures. This was nice. A moment between…friends, companions, partners, playmates, lovers or whatever category they fell into.

It didn't happen very often, usually spending time Quackerjack was eloquent of trying to take a nap inside an iron maiden.

Because Quackerjack rarely just snuggled. Oh no, that could almost never provide enough entertainment and Megavolt suspected that he merely was the jester's preferred amusement. After creating general chaos, of course.

"I don't know," Megavolt said, "What is there to do?"

"Weeeeeell…apparently my friend Bob-" answered Quackerjack in a sing-song voice.

"-or Ted…" commented the other.

"…knew a little more about SHUSH's plans than he should…if you catch my drift."

He didn't, but Megavolt nodded anyhow.

"It seems he was playing for two sides, that naughty boy. Fortunately, I met him before he could meet up with his other employers," Quackerjack continued gleefully, "There's going to be a ruse, a subterfuge if you will. They're going to stage some kind of elaborate convoy but what we really want is a delivery boy," he explained, as if this should make this perfectly clear.

"A delivery boy?" Megavolt responded.

"A delivery boy," Quackerjack confirmed, "SHUSH are going to let a delivery boy deliver the top secret and oh so very mysterious doodad to the research compound."

The zany grabbed the collar of Megavolt's yellow jumpsuit and pulled his face up close, "It's devilishly simple…so deliciously simple that no one could ever possibly guess it."

Megavolt wasn't too assured, but Quackerjack was the kind of duck who was thoroughly convinced that the prefect password was in fact the word itself.

"And it would be devilishly simple to steal it," Quackerjack's grin was positively fiendish, "It would be like…like stealing candy from a baby."

"We've already done that, and it's not all it's cracked up to be," retorted Megavolt warily, "Besides, there's too many delivery companies, how can we know which delivery boy has the doodad?"

"Ooooh, but we do know which delivery company they're going to employ thanks our friend Ted," Quackerjack said snidely, "This is a chance of a life time. Think of the toys I could make if this doodad is as useful as it seems to be!" his eyes glinted the prospect.

Oh, of course…the toys.

Megavolt didn't exactly share his companion's affection for toys. His workshop was instead filled with other harebrained ideas and light bulbs. To him toys often were just another way to foolishly enslave his fellow luminaries…also to develop creativity and cognition in adolescents, but that's an entirely different story.

"How about going with one of my schemes?" Megavolt asked, "For change…"

Quackerjack sneered, "Your schemes? You didn't even finish high school."

Megavolt gasped at the accusation, "Did too!"

"Did not!" Quackerjack stuck out his tongue in a way that would make a four year old awed.

"How do you know?" demanded Megavolt.

"You told me!"

Hm, that was probably true, "Well, that means you've got more experience with schools, but I've got more experience with villainy," he snapped back at the mad toymaker.

"Good point." Quackerjack scratched his beak distractedly, "Fine, we'll go with your scheme this time."

Megavolt allowed himself a moment of feeling relieved.

"No dresses," the told Quackerjack, who went narrowed his eyes dangerously but whatever had come over the jester passed as quickly as it had come, and Quackerjack looked sullen, "Why not?" he whined.

"It's my scheme this time, isn't it? My schemes don't include dresses."

"Fine!" Quackerjack hissed in defeat, "We can make a compromise."

"Compromise?" echoed Megavolt, "Why, Quacky, I didn't even know you had 'compromise' in your vocabulary."

"I won't make you wear a dress, Megs…" a demented grin plastered itself over the insane duck's features, "…outside the bedroom that is…aheh…"

Megavolt just rolled his eyes at Quackerjack high-pitched giggling, and kissed the psychopath, mainly to make the manic giggling stop.


"Is it just me, or do they let just about anyone work as security guard nowadays?" Megavolt wondered. There was no answer because the guard, to whom the question had been directed to, was far too busy writhing with pain on the floor. The canine did manage to gurgle a couple of times before passing out though.

After giving the guard a good kick, sometimes you did things just for the sake of being a villain, Megavolt continued towards his goal.

The main vault.

Money had been sparse lately, and desperate times called for equally desperate measures. Although robbing banks had become a routine for Megavolt. To be perfectly honest; it was amazing how fast you could get used to the whole concept of do and take what you want.

The security camera hung uselessly in the ceiling, being taken care of thanks to a very convenient electrical short out that rendered them and the alarm useless. Sometimes Megavolt wondered how he ever could've gotten along without practically being one with the electric currents.

Dark corridors were ahead of him, and Megavolt moved as silently as he could. The last guard had been a close one. When he'd tripped over his own two feet, immobilizing the guard with a quick electric shock happened merely seconds before the guard would've immobilized him with a quick lead shock from his gun.

He needed to sharpen his senses, be alert and on his guard, he had to be…oh, pretty!

Halting outside what seemed to be an office supply closet; Megavolt peeked inside and let out a gleeful giggle. There were oh so many light bulbs, viscously packed inside small boxes. However, he didn't venture going inside. This was a mere distraction, the money was his goal and with it he could doubtlessly emancipate more light bulbs than he could save here.

Closing the door to supply space as quietly as possible, he moved on. In his frizzled mind, Megavolt got a distinct feeling that something was very wrong. Things were…too quiet…

He waited anxiously, usually whenever he said or even thought that; something always happened. Not this time though. Maybe he was just antsy because he hadn't been robbing enough banks lately? Well, there was one obvious way to remedy that.

Megavolt rounded a corner carefully and tripped over a fallen guard. So much for a stealthy theft…

His faced smacked against the very, very hard floor…oh, he was sure to get a bruise. Perhaps he should try to find some ice…or was it something else he should be thinking of right now?

While ransacking his mind, Megavolt glanced at the guard which had caused him to fall…oh yeah…guards didn't knock themselves out. Unless there was some kind flu going about the place, which caused large head wounds to spontaneously appear…no that sounded wrong even as he thought of it.

Well, it was no use to stay still. There was no telling when Darkwing Duck would turn up with his smoke bombs and other gadgetry, and he didn't exactly feel like waiting around for the creature that had knocked the guard out.

Walking briskly Megavolt approached the first obstacle on his way to the main vault, filled with money that more or less begged him to steal them.

The large steel door greeted Megavolt and he let a low whistle at the sight, "There's something very odd going on here," Megavolt couldn't help to say out loud when he saw the sentries that were supposed to watch over the cleverly secured steel door. They were even stacked neatly on top of each other.

"Oh, congratulations!" clapping his hands slowly, in that very sarcastic manner, the jester stepped out from the shadows, "And it took you only…what? Ten minutes, tops, to figure that out, Sparky."

His blood was boiling in his veins; there were no words for how much he despised that nickname. People thought they were sooooo incredibly clever when they thought that one out. "What are you doing here?" he asked coldly.

"'What are you doing here?'" Quackerjack mimicked mercilessly, actually doing a good impression of Megavolt, "Robbing a bank obviously. What else would I be doing here, Sparky?"

Megavolt slammed his hand against his left eye; it was start twitching uncontrollably, "Would you just stop it?" He'd almost forgotten how immensely aggravating the self-proclaimed trickster could be. After all, he hadn't seen him since the Fearsome Five business with had been a fearsome fiasco to Megavolt's great disappointment. Occasionally he'd seen the rest of the gang briefly when they appeared on the news and Megavolt was starting to fervently wish that it had stayed that way.

An innocent smile graced Quackerjack's beak, "Stop what, Sparky?"

Frazzled nerves were beginning to break, "I told you to stop it!"

Fighting at the crime scene wasn't perhaps the most intelligent decision Megavolt had ever made. But in the red haze of long pent up rage making sure that the next spiteful little remark Quackerjack had planned to deliver never came suddenly made the risk of getting caught seem trivial and the dark room was momentarily lit up by a crackling flash of electricity.

Nearly becoming part of the wall behind him, Quackerjack gracefully evaded the bolt that managed to make the sturdy security wall sizzle. His eyes twinkled like stars.

Megavolt made a sweeping motion with his arm, generating energy, but before he could hand out another shock treatment something hit him in the chest with such force that the air was knocked out of his lungs.

The sound of something repeatedly bouncing of the walls with a loud thud was all around him and Megavolt let his gaze quickly sweep across the room. There was something small and colorful bouncing around and it was beginning to move so fast that it was almost impossible to see. He pressed himself squarely against a wall, "What is that thing?" he asked, with a voice that was a bit too high pitch for his taste.

"Oh!" Quackerjack looked happy, like he'd just been waiting for that exact question, "That's a stress reliever. All your worries will soon be forgotten with Quackerjack's amazing stress reliever, because you can't worry if your brain is smeared all over the walls."

Perhaps a slightly flaky conclusion, but logical nonetheless, Megavolt guessed. The little spherical object was steadily gaining speed for every time it bounced off something and Megavolt wasn't the only one whose brain was in the risk zone. "Shut that thing off," he yelled, "Or we're both history."

"What?" Quackerjack looked nonplussed, "I can't hear you, Megs. This thing is making so much noise!" he started to dig around in one of his pockets, eventually pulling out what appeared to be a small metallic remote, and after fiddling with it for about a split second, the stress reliever abruptly ceased to bounce around. It fell to the ground like a dead pigeon, it sounded like it was coughing miserably.

"How did you do that?" Megavolt couldn't help but ask, there were few things he didn't want to poke and prod to see how they worked.

"Ah-ah! A magician never reveals his tricks," Quackerjack answered, waggling his finger like disapproving mother.

"But you're not a…" Megavolt began but fell silent, he wondered if he should try to zap Quackerjack again, but right now it didn't seem to serve any purpose, and he returned his attention to the large valve door.

His perfect heist had been somewhat tarnished by Quackerjack's interruption, but this could likely be used for an advantaged.

"So how were you planning to get past the security system on this door anyway?" Megavolt wondered causally.

Quackerjack pouted, "Like I'm going to tell you," he snapped.

"Let me guess," the rodent said acidly, "You were just going to blow it all up."

Quackerjack gasped, "Who told you that!" yanking his slightly battered doll out, he glared at it maliciously, "Was it you, Mr Banana Brain? Why, Mr Banana Brain, why? I swear that tickle-me-doll meant nothing to me!"

And they call me crazy, Megavolt thought wearily. He held out his hand, "How about we call a truce?" he offered.

Eyeing the out stretched hand with distrust, Quackerjack finally took it, "Okay then, Mr Let's Not Blow the Door Up, how do you plan to get the vault opened?"

"With this!" Megavolt proudly held his newest invention aloft.

"Well, that is a nice and shiny toy you've got there."

"It's not a toy," he said and swatted away Quackerjack's hands from the dull looking apparatus, "It's more of a…uh…death ray? Death wave emitter? I was thinking something along those lines."

"I think it looks like a water gun," contributed Quackerjack.

"It does not look like a water gun…okay, maybe a little. But that's not the point!" Megavolt pulled out a retractable chord from the death water wave gun emitter, "The point is…the point is…" he connected the plug into his personal, portable socket, "Uh…the point is that I can't seem to remember what the point is. So let's just say bye-bye to the door."

Quackerjack waved energetically with his hand, "Buh-bye door!"

The apparatus came to life with a low humming sound which grew stronger and stronger, and as a mad scientist, Megavolt had to fight the urge to let out an euphoric cry of; "It's alive, it's alive!"

A bright red beam, which were a lot more on the pink side than Megavolt would've liked, was discharged from his invention and made impact with the valve door.

First nothing major happened, so they waited. And waited. And waited…

"Is it supposed to take this long?" Quackerjack whined, he was close to stomp his foot in frustration.

"I don't know!" exclaimed an irate Megavolt, "I've never tried this thing on a security door of this magnitude."

"This is a huge disappointment, Megs, but should I be surprised? You didn't exactly last long against the Justice Ducks."

"Oh yeah?" glaring daggers at Quackerjack, Megavolt continued; "Well, you didn't exactly stand your grounds against Gizmoduck."

"He had a dentist drill!" Quackerjack shrieked loudly, "A DENTIST DRILL!"

The previous epic battle…okay, maybe not epic…the previous and largely disorganized battle would've resumed had it not been for this story's deus ex machina.

He arrived elegantly as always, in a cloud of blue smoke, delivering his catchphrases with ease. Sadly, this spectacular entrance was hardly noticed by the quarreling villains.

"You know, Launchpad, this is exactly why the bad guys never win," Darkwing said, gesturing towards the arguing duo, feeling quite confident about himself.

"Uh…why? Because they wear funny hats?" Launchpad asked, "But you also have a funny hat, DW."

"It's not funny!" the hero subconsciously touched the mentioned object, "…it's stylish. Just like the turtleneck."

By now, there wasn't much to hinder Megavolt and Quackerjack from noticing their nemesis, "Sorry to interrupt your fashion talk, but I'm in a bit of a hurry," Megavolt said, disconnecting his wave water emitter death gun, his battery was low on power now, but hopefully he had enough zap left in him to singe enough feathers for an escape.

Luckily, or unluckily, depending how you decided to view it, Quackerjack eliminated the need for Megavolt to singe feathers by dispatching a fairly cute toy soldier, who happily marched forth and exploded.

"And that's who you deal with smart-mouthed heroes!" the toymaker proudly proclaimed.

"That's always a way, but then there's this," Megavolt answered coolly, sending a burst of electricity towards Launchpad who'd been trying to sneak up on Quackerjack, the pilot managed to dodge the blast but not Quackerjack's foot which connected with his beak.

"Let's get out of here, Megs," Quackerjack said, flashing a grin and grabbed Megavolt's arm firmly.

"But the-" Megavolt pulled himself and Quackerjack to the right, neatly avoiding a projectile from Darkwing's gas gun, "-money," he finished. Then he turned around, using the very last ounces of energy he had left to create a large discharge of power that forced the do-gooder and his 'trusty sidekick' to take cover. But the satisfaction over this was soon replaced by teary eyes.

Oh not the tear gas…Megavolt hated the tear gas.

"Um…" he didn't protest when Quackerjack once again grabbed him and led him out, "I didn't want the money all that much anyway…"

The sensation that just toppling over and pass out in middle of the city might be a good idea was becoming overwhelming and the whole notion of putting one foot in front of the other seemed very alien to Megavolt as he staggered along in the alleyway.

Overhead, the roar from Darkwing's airplane could be heard, that stubborn mallard didn't know when to quit, did he?

Tiredly leaning against the brick wall, Megavolt turned to glare at Quackerjack who walked behind with the expression of someone who had absolutely no worries whatsoever. "Would it kill you to stop stalking me and help me find a power source?"

Quackerjack leaned nonchalantly against the very same wall Megavolt was using as support, you know, nonchalant as in 'Look at me; I'm as nonchalant as one could possibly ever be. Why, if you were more nonchalant than me right now you'd probably die of exhaustion.'

"Oh, but I enjoy watching you when you're as helpless as this…Sparky," he answered Megavolt's question, really relishing the fact that the other was completely unable to dish out a rebuttal, "As a matter of fact, I've got something better than electricity in mind for you and me."

"Light-"

"No, Megavolt, I'm not talking about light bulbs. I'm talking about time travel."

"You're insane, do you know that?" Megavolt pushed Quackerjack away and started walking away, "And that's coming from me," he added.

Hands wrapped around his waist and stopped him, "Don't go, Megs, I need you."

"Er… what?" was the only response the slightly bewildered Megavolt managed to choke out.

"In a living battery kind of way!" Quackerjack hurried to say, almost looking bothered.

Megavolt sighed and continued to determinedly ignore the fact that the company of a known psychotic killer had stopped unsettling him. And what he really tried to ignore was how nicely familiar it felt to have those arms around him.

"Riiiight…and I'm supposed to…what with the…"time machine"?"

"I prefer the name Time Top," Quackerjack said. Because nothing beats alliteration.

Even if Megavolt had felt like protesting and not get talked into another impromptu team up, he never got the chance since Quackerjack's way of persuasion took all his attention. The last coherent thoughts he managed to form before giving up entirely was something in the lines of I Have A Bad Feeling About This…


Hm…I don't know why but every sentence took at least two hours to write.

And now I'll not rest until the next chapter is written! I will not leave this keyboard until…yeah…I just went and bought the two Baldur's Gate games and the expansions…I'm so weak…