A Letter to CLAMP
by Watanuki
dictated to Doomed but Over It
Dear CLAMP,
Thank you for your effort in illistrating my memoirs! It was very kind of you. However, I must object to a few fabrications. I am certainly not blaming you for it, maybe you just got the wrong idea from our interviews. I know I did. I thought you were writing my MEMOIRS not using me in a fanciful account of your own devising. Granted, my life could use a little spicing up, but I would just like to clarify a few points--
1. My right eye was lost in an epic battle with a broom, not a Spider Queen
2. Doumeki and myself didn't fight as much as you depicted, and I only made him bento for 2 months
3. I did NOT make it that obvious that I was crushing on Himawari. It was a SUBTLE relationship
4. Yuuko-san wasn't magical at all, just drunk. Really drunk.
5. Doumeki only saved my life 3 times. NOT three dozen.
6. By my 18th birthday, I had come out and Doumeki and myself were going steady.
"Hey! That's not what I said!" Watanuki shrieked, peering over my shoulder. "Delete 6 immediately!"
"But it adds to the plot!" Doomed whined.
"I want it OUT! NOW!" Watanuki ordered.
"Meanie."
"Mary-sue."
"Jerk."
"Manipulator."
"Girl."
"Oh whatever! This is immature. 6. Out. NOW!"
"Fine. But you're ruining a perfectly good squee moment."
"Does it look like I care?" Watanuki and Doomed squared off in the 6th glaring tournament that day. Watanuki's eyes were watering at that last insult, so Doomed was at an advantage, trying to tie the score at 3-3.
A slight sliding noise in the front of the house made Watanuki tich, giving Doomed the perfect oppurtunity to add on her evil super glare of doom, her trademark, to finish him off. "Hah!" she crowed, doing a little victory dance. "Bitch." he said, pretending there wasn't just another power struggle that he lost. They didn't hear another door sliding open, closer now.
"Bring it, pretty boy." Doomed said, putting her fists up. "You're going down!"
"Oh yeah? We'll see who's crying to her fans after this!" He said, matching her position. Neither noticed when the last door slid aside.
"Oi." said Doumeki, coming over."Oi." he repeated, a little flicker of annoyance in his eyes. "Oi!" They looked away from eachother to glare at the intruder. "I only allow one person to bitch off here, and that's the one who feeds me." he glared at Doomed, giving a pointed look at Watanuki. She put her hands up and stormed away. "Fine! But he can PAY someone to write his letter! I quit! And I don't work for BENTO! Jerks!"
Doumeki waited patiently until he heard the door slide shut. "What was that all about?" he asked.
"Meh." Watanuki replied. Doumeki wrapped his arms around the shorter boy and brushed his lips, before sinking into a kiss.
I wonder where she gets her information, Watanuki thought.
Doomed, Yuuko and Mokona all put down thier bonoculars and sighed a happy sigh. Doomed poured another round of sake.
"Toast! To the International Meddlers!" and a little bit of LSD.
Crackers!
Doomed
