Author's Note: I wrote this one completely backwards. Most of my stories I write roughly beginning to end, or at least I do the very first few paragraphs and then little pieces I fill around latter. Of this series of one-shots 'Girls' was the one I had the vaguest idea of what exactly would happen in it exactly before I started writing it, so naturally it sort of went it's own merry way and I wrote the ending first and went back from there.
I've never been the parent of teenage boys; in fact, I'm not even a parent yet. But I love learning about parenting, it has the most interesting insights into human psychology and development than any other subject, learning, teaching, social psychology included. And three of the big milestones of development in the teenage boy are: Girls, Girls, and Girls. How you raise a son to relate well to girls while poising as a playboy, is beyond me. In fact, that might be the key to a lot of Dick's unusual dating experiences over the years.
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Girls Galore
Dick Grayson tugged at his bowtie for the tenth time that night. Sometimes there was just nothing worse than being ordered into a tux and being forced to socialize with brainless socialites that treated him like he was six. Much less on a school night when the valuable sleepless hours of night could have been spent jumping off building and soaring the Gotham sky, instead of stuck in his own house where the only entertainment was drinks he was too young to have, women he was too young to date, and conversation he was too intelligent (or too sober) to enjoy. 'And people thought being the rich guy's kid was so fun' Phuh! See what they knew. He didn't even like Bruce's public face; it wasn't even the real Bruce, much less including the Batman part of his personality.
Most kids his age thought their parents were the main source of their problems, an attitude Dick, who had spent the last seven years wishing he could see his parents again, couldn't fathom. Bruce wasn't too bad for a replacement parent, and barring abusive or highly neglectful homes, his issues made the arguments about how "my parents never me this so I'm all messed up" seem mild. Not that Dick would trade his life for a normal one, but still, how many sixteen-year-olds have to put up with a half of what he did sometimes? He loved Bruce and Bruce loved him (even if he wasn't very good at showing it), but no one in their right mind would call Batman entirely sane. For one there was the slight split personality, the obsessive drive for perfection, and the fact that his emotional development had been pretty much frozen at age six, when his parents died.
As Bruce's heir, he was supposed come to some of these big functions to prepare him to take over Wayne Enterprises someday. Dick appreciated what the gesture said about his relationship to Bruce, but business really didn't interest him, and socializing with all these snobs really didn't. It wasn't that he was against the idea of a child following in their parents footsteps, fulfilling their legacy; it was just Dick preferred the idea of following in Batman's footsteps than Bruce Wayne CEO. It was the perfect mix of who he was; he was a third generation acrobat and a second generation crimefighter. As Robin, he followed both sets of fathers. Although they never really talked about it, but he and Bruce had an unspoken plan that should Bruce retire or be killed, he would take up the mantle of the Batman. That was just a much better plan than being stuck at these snooty functions all the time.
"Hey Shortstuff! How's it going?"
"Hi Babs" Despite his current state of teen angst, the Boy Wonder always had a grin for Barbara Gordon.
"Bored?"
"Tell me about it. I don't mind going to these things now and then, but why do we have to have them at our house?"
"I'll have to ask Bruce sometime…huh Munchkin?"
Dick had been in love with Barbara for years; even Gotham PD knew that Robin had a huge crush on Batgirl. He wasn't immune to girls, but up until recently Babs had been the only one that had seriously taken up his time dreaming about. So far she'd never reciprocated his feelings, although the fact that he'd been jailbait up until this spring might have something to do with it, but the unsure teen in Dick worried that she only saw him as a small brother-like colleague. However, none of the facts deterred him from regularly flirting outrageously with her. Even if she did call him embarrassing things like 'short pants' and 'munchkin' in response. Someday though…he was going to get her to acknowledge he wasn't a kid anymore.
"Just wait till this is over. I can hardly get his attention at one of these…He's always so busy being someone else. Although when he's wearing his Brucie mask, a gorgeous red-head has a much better chance than I do, now that I think about it…"
"Again with the flattery. You have been spending a little too much time at these shindigs, haven't you?"
"Story of my life, Babe."
"Don't you call me Babe, Dicky Grayson!"
"You've joined forces with Alfred, haven't you? Trying to keep me on my best behavior all the time."
"I'm a double agent, sometimes I'm with Bruce and Alf, and sometimes I'm the corrupting influence."
"How about you corrupt some champagne up for me then?"
"Fine, but only a little, and if Alfred catches you, I deny all knowledge."
"Deal."
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Unfortunately for the young Robin, he was currently being closely observed from across the room, by one of the most dangerous adversaries in the world. An over-protective parent figure. The charming host of the party, Mr. Bruce Wayne himself, was using his highly developed mental control to simultaneously socialize with everyone in the room, put on his bubbling billionaire act, and keep a very close eye on his teenage ward. No one could say that Batman let himself be distracted by three of four little interests like running a business, running a city's crime management, maintaining a cover identity, and parenting a young boy. Mistakes were made certainly, but not due to inattention; the world's greatest detective kept strict surveillance on all areas of his life, and that definitely included his child.
Frowning at the obvious intention of the two to procure alcohol, he turned to the other parent involved.
"Commissioner Gordon, How's Gotham PD doing?"
"About the same as usual, still a lot of criminals and nutcases around. Even with Batman's help we sure keep busy."
"Great, great…" The prince of Gotham responded absentmindedly, his gaze obviously on a stunningly dressed brunette.
The graying man fingered his mustache in amusement at the younger man's obvious preoccupation with the pretty girl across the room.
"I see the kids are getting along well."
Bruce turned back towards Dick just in time to see Barbara handing him a glass obviously filled with champagne.
"Did she just…?" questioned the police officer.
"Yes."
"You see the road you're starting down, Wayne? First they grow up, go to college, start dating older people you're not sure about…next thing you know they're supplying alcohol to minors! Time sure flies…"
"I know what you mean. It seems like Dick and I just got back from our trip to the Bahamas this summer. Now he's already knee deep in schoolwork and we're starting to wearing coats instead of jackets. I keep catching myself thinking he's still twelve, reading comic books and playing baseball."
As Gordon gave him his condolences again, Bruce thought over the conversation… Time certainly flew by, and sadly the 'dating older people' was already a major concern, Dick and Barbara had gotten much closer over the years since Batgirl came on to the scene and Dick's feelings were obviously no longer just a crush. As grown up as Dick was for his age and as well as he thought of Barbara, Dick was sixteen, much too young for the type of relationship he obviously wanted with the older woman. Why couldn't his teenager date girls his age like any other teen? But then, Dick had never been average…never been anything but unusual and extraordinary.
Unfortunately, the Bat's worries at that moment were very sound, as his young ward was currently involved staring at several debutants, who were both young to be an actual interest and young enough to actually look fairly natural, thus actually incurring his interest. He had to do something while Babs got pulled away by some twenty-something hunk, who he totally wasn't jealous of for getting her attention.
The woman passing by them was pretty hot too…. Hey…he knew those legs!
Dick grabbed the Dynamic Devil Doll as she finished with the guy.
"Hey, Babs? Do you recognize that woman? The one in the gold strapless thing with ruffles at the end."
"Isn't she a little old for you, Short Pants? What would Bruce say?"
"Just look. And you know Bruce, he would have issues with any girl I was interested in. He's still aiming for that Most Paranoid Parent award. Look how he's been with you recently…"
"Excuse me? What does recently have to do with it? He's been aiming that suspicious look at you since you were thirteen and first saw me in my batboots."
"He just knows you're weakening now that I'm older…"
"Dream on, handsome…I know better than to go after the Bat's baby. Hey, I do know that woman! That's Ca…"
"Selina, I know… What do you think she's doing here? Reviving her interest in high society or up to something? I really don't like the fact that she's obviously not here as herself."
"I don't like it at all. Should we go get the Boss?"
"We'd better warn him at least. I'll go try to get through the platinum army; you'd better circulate and check for accomplices."
"Deal. Be carefull, Boy Wonder."
"You too, Sweetlips!"
"You call me that again, and I will smack the mask right off your face tonight."
"Yes Ma'am."
Passing through the crowd inconspicuously, took him closer to where Selina was casually looking around, moving sensually but pretending it was an inadvertent thing rather than the deliberate ploy Dick knew it was. Coincidentally, the person whose attention she got enough to approach her was the young man who had been flitting with Babs earlier. Dick passed right by them on his way towards Bruce.
"So what brings you to this lovely party?"
"Nothing really, just enjoying a nice party I wasn't invited to."
"You crashed, Bruce Wayne's party? Wow, that takes guts."
"Well there's nothing like crashing a really good party. Right kid?" The last part was directed at Dick, obviously to say that she thought he was crashing as well.
"Uh, sure…"
Selina wondered off towards the buffet with the young fellow on her arm.
He believed her about crashing the party, but not that she didn't know who he was. The only question was if it was just Dick Grayson she recognized. It was times like this that Dick had this feeling that if anyone ever figured out his identity without hardly even trying, it was this woman. The fact that as Selina Kyle or Catwoman, she seemed to be the only person he'd ever seen other than Alfred that could predict Bruce and, more impressively, disrupt his control, was a huge part of that. Which was why he tended to doubt his own instincts around Selina as well, who knew if she could do the same to him sometime.
Dick wandered over to where Bruce was now happily laughing with a young woman and a gray haired man.
"Dick! Have you met Senator Stenton yet?"
"Uh, no, not yet."
"This is Senator Stenton, and his daughter Marigold. I was just telling them about you."
The senator extended his arm. "Lovely to meet you young man, Bruce here was bragging to me about how well you're doing in school, any interest in politics?"
Dick shook the offer hand firmly. "Nice to met you, sir. I don't really have any interest in pursuing politics as a career; keeping up with current events is difficult enough."
"Brucie Dear! It's so wonderful to see you again! And your young ward too! Don isn't it?"
Bounding up to the group was Helen Heinsmen, one of the middle aged gossipmongers of high society Gotham City, busily flipping her hair and pushing out her chest with every exclamation point.
"Uh, actually it's Dick, and I really need to borrow Bruce for a moment…"
Bruce pulled out the charm, smiling winningly at all parties.
"Hope you don't mind….I'll be right back. You know how teenagers can be…"
Bruce slipped his arm around the boy's shoulders as Dick lead him away from the busybody and the surrounding bystanders.
"Thanks, Chum…I've already had to suffer through three conversations with that woman in the last two days."
"You're welcome, but I kind of came on business."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, just so you know… Selina's here. She just seems to being enjoying a high-class party as someone else so far, but you never know. Babs is keeping an eye out for any other trouble in the room."
"No sign of anything else?"
"Nope, she mentioned to someone that she was just crashing. As unlikely as it sounds she might be telling the truth this time."
Dick crossed his arms and looked hard at his mentor.
"You knew she was here already, didn't you?"
"Oh yeah, I'd recognize those legs anywhere. I'll keep an eye on it."
"You always do…"
Dick looked around uncomfortably as Bruce dished them both some punch.
"Problem, Chum?"
"Please never say anything like that to me again!"
"What? You don't think I don't find her attractive?"
"I know you do…it's just the image of you doing something about it I really don't want in my head."
Taking the glass, his posture changed suddenly to all confidence and self-assurance.
"Hey, so long as you owe me big right now…"
"Whatever it is, the answer is firmly and unequivocally, no."
"Geez, you really are in parenting mode aren't you?"
One of the impeccably groomed eyebrows on the world's most eligible bachelor's face, arched and accompanied Bruce Wayne's blue eyes in asking the no-verbal question 'and my child is up to what exactly?'
"I just wanted to start patrol a little late next Friday."
"And you will be doing what exactly instead?"
"I have a date." mumbled the Teen Wonder.
"What was that?" Bruce prodded.
"I HAVE A DATE, OK!" the sixteen-year-old smiled sheepishly, finding the party-goers nearby staring at him.
"So that I'm fully embarrassed by having half of Gotham listen to me try to tell my dad I have a date next Friday, can we drop it?"
"I don't think so. Who is she, and when exactly were you going to tell me you had a potential girlfriend."
"Marcia James from school, and hopefully never."
"You realize, I would have found out eventually."
"That was the plan. Either you wouldn't notice or you'd find out almost immediately because you always find out about everything. Either way, I didn't have to tell you."
"Did it ever occur to you that I might object to not being told before you did this?"
"So, I can go to outer-space with the Titans and it's completely normal, but I have to ask to go on a date to the movies where I'll be back by ten?"
"Pretty much"
"You suck."
"So I've been told." Bruce stared thoughtfully at the boy's face, as if seeing it for the first time and discovering unknown depths. The kid really was growing up fast.
"Have fun, be a gentleman, be home by eleven to join me on patrol, and no you may not take the Ferrari. Understood?"
"Thanks, Bruce." And with big grin, the billionaire's ward dashed off to avoid the two blonde females homing in on them to intersect the charming Mr. Wayne.
"See, I knew I'm not that bad at this parenting thing." he muttered to himself as he put on his best Brucie face.
"What can I do for such lovely young ladies, tonight? Champagne? Caviar? Kisses?"
And Bruce settled himself down for yet another boring party, all the while keeping an eye on his ward, who had gone back to happily flirting at Barbara Gordon. Some things never change, they just grow. He had a feeling Dick's full discovery of girls was going to keep him up at night. Or at least, up later….
The End
