SpaceBar Second Stage by Jemu Nekketsu

*Standard Disclaimers Apply.*

EPISODE 4: The First Lemon?

Previously on SpaceBar Second Stage: The crazy Shadow Mirror general Axel and his yummy assistant/baby-sitter/nanny (ooh, nanny, kinky) Lamia have infiltrated the station in the middle of another senseless party. Axel has brought out two beakers filled with Formula H-XXX-R18NC17 for all to see.

Everyone's attention was turned to the sliding doors, and to the two figures standing in the doorway.

Axel: Wow, I've seen welcoming parties for me before, but this really takes the cake.

Jemu: Axel Aruma. I was wondering when you'd show up.

Lamia: That's General Axel Aruma to you, lower life form.

Evang: And you brought your pet combat chobit as well.

Lamia: I AM NOT A CHOBIT!!!

Taking advantage of the perpetual hammerspace field inside the station, Lamia whips out a minigun from thin air and sets the barrels spinning. In response, Evang spreads his fingers in preparation for a spell, while everyone else jumps for cover, except for the martial artists among the pilots, who go into their fighting stances.

Jemu: (Pulls out his favorite six-shooters upgraded with Techno-Magical Ammo Replenishers.) Witness the speed and agility of newtypes. From sitting on the tables to hiding under them in 0.5 seconds. Heh.

Axel: Lamia! Put that minigun away! For now, that is.

Lamia: Hmph! (Lowers the weapon, pointing it to the floor.) Spoil my fun, why don't you.

Axel: Listen up, all of you. (He notices the cage and its occupants.) What the hell?! I thought this place was reputable!

The newtypes and other people hiding under the tables burst out laughing. Even the martial artists cracked quick smiles, then resumed their stoic mien.

Jemu: That's it, laugh. After all the good I've done for you...

Axel: Ahem. As I was saying, I am claiming this station as property of the Shadow Mirror. Resistance will be met with (Pauses for dramatic effect.) a fate worse than death.

Banjo Haran: That would be eating Tenkawa's cooking, right?

Duo: You mean it was actually meant as food? I thought it was the contents of the dumpster!

Akito: (Groggily.) I told you - wasn't me. Was Yurika.

Kanna: At least our curry cooking project turned out fine.

Sumire: Palatable. Just palatable.

Kohran: Probably becuase you were part of the cooking as well.

Sumire: Say that again!?

Axel: A-HEM!!! I'm trying to start a negotiation/stand-off here! (Raises the two beakers of Formula H-XXX-R18NC17.)

Everyone: Ooh. Scary. What's that? Looks like some sort of chemical or something.

Evang: Where did you get that?

Axel: Recognize these?

Lamia: Your laboratory was most unguarded.

Axel: Here are my terms. Surrender this station, or I will gas everyone in this room with the agent. Be warned, this agent has detrimental effects on anime pilots and their girlfriends.

Jemu: Evang!! What manner of shit is he holding in his hands?

Evang: It's something I've been working on secretly. It turns all those it affects into mindless organisms whose sole driving instinct is to have as many orgasms as possible.

Sada: Whatever did you design it for?

Evang: Orbital bombardment scenarios, for use against entrenched troops.

Axel: Ah. And failing that?

Evang: A second agent, which I am still researching, will cause those who have been exposed to the first agent to mutate unpredictably, leading to the creation of a subspecies of man, or to a horrible death.

Axel: Such evil genius! I could use one on my side! So, how about joining me, and I'll let you continue your experiments on this station?

Evang: Why would I want to do that?

Axel: Why shouldn't you? There are a lot of prospective subjects to be used once I capture this station and turn it over to you. (Indicates the guests.)

Evang: Thanks, but- (Throws an ice shard at Axel.) No thanks!!!

Lamia's minigun turns the icicle into snowflakes. Axel quickly puts on his gas mask, and prepares to throw both beakers.

Axel: Oh, and if I don't make it out of here, I'd like to inform you that I've left a bunch of BANGPRESTO Originals and Not-So-Originals with orders to destroy your station.

Lamia: Um, General maybe we should-

Pilots: WHAT!!!

Axel: (Tossing both beakers and shattering them against the ceiling.) What is it now?

Lamia: (Covering her nose.) I don't have gas mask.

Axel: You don't need one, you're an android!

Lamia: (Grasping his shoulders.) I WAS an android.

Forgetting the presence of the orgasmic gas, the pilots gasp. Then they start gagging and coughing like crazy, even the martial artists.

Evang: Jemu! Protect the Paris Hanagumi at all costs!

Jemu: What about the others?

Evang: Just do as I say for once!

Jemu: Oh, alright. Coquelicot, I'm coming!

BOS: Very bad pun, under the circumstances.

Sada: This is all your fault, Evang!!

Sariko: Endless orgasms. Hmmm.

Sada: You don't have to look so happy about it.

Sariko: What can I say? I'm an addict.

Jemu: BOS, can you do something?

BOS: I'd like to but-

The Main Lounge shudders as if it had been hit by a Black Hole Cannon. Which is just what happened.

Axel: What's happening? It's too soon!

Lamia: General!! (Falls on her knees and wraps her arms around his legs.)

Axel: Shit! This isn't supposed to happen!!

Jemu: Repulse Barrier!

Evang: Shortcut!!

Behind the barrier, the Paris Hanagumi, the Teito Hanagumi, and the Full Metal Panic crew ("We haven't tested our Armor Slaves for space conditions yet, and we don't intend to do so with live fire.") kept a wary distance from the wall of light. The trapdoor from season 1 opened, following Evang's command. But instead of stairs, there was instead a huge slide leading to the dark depths.

Evang: Sorry for all of this, people. If you want to leave, take this slide straight to the hangar/drydock. You'll have to fight your way through Geshpents, Excellences, Hyukkebines, and lord knows what else.

Kei: Better than being stuck here and turning into sex fiends.

Gou: ... Let's go.

Gai: (Wiping his nose against his sleeve.) Ok!!

Daigouji: I wanna fight too! Yee-ha!

In as many seconds as there have been series in Super Mecha Wars, the Main Lounge was emptied of pilots. Save for the Tenkawas.

Akito: Hey, let us out of here. (Rattling the bars of the cage.)

Yurika: No, ignore him! (Trying to wrest his hands away.)

By now, the released Formula H-XXX-R18NC17 had gathered into a roiling red thundercloud that was slowly stretching toward the cage. Axel and Lamia were nowhere to be seen, presumably lost in the swirling red mist.

Akito: No! Not another 4 hours of non-stop sex!

Yurika: Yes! Another 4 hours of non-stop sex!

Akito: I'm going to die!!!

Yurika: Eh? Akito, that's supposed to be my line. Yours is "I'm going to kill you."

Akito: Huh? I thought that was Yuy-san's line.

Jemu: Don't just stand there, do something.

Evang: Why? They're perfectly safe!

Sariko: You mean the cage is enchanted?

Evang: No. Formula H-XXX-R18NC17 won't affect them in any way.

Sada: What are you saying?!

Evang: I'll go into detail later. (Summons an Interdimensional Supaa Sucker.)

Jemu: What are you going to do with that water gun?

Evang: This isn't a water gun. You're thinking of the Supaa Sou-ka. The Supaa Sucker works in reverse.

Jemu: What, you pull the trigger, pump the handle, and stick it into water?

Evang: Exactly, except that the Interdimensional model works on gas and radiation.

BOS: And when the Supaa Sucker gets full, you can use it as a man-portable buster rifle! What an amazing product! It normally sells for-

Jemu: BOS?

BOS: Sorry. I got carried away watching that Hyper Aura Knife Infommercial.

Evang: Let's clean this place up.

Jemu: I thought technology wasn't your strong suit.

Evang: So sue me.

* * * * * * * * * *

A few minutes later, they had contained the all of the Formula H-XXX-R18NC17 in two Supaa Suckers. Jemu was busy transferring the gas into a warhead as Evang explained the real use of the gas. When he wasn't looking at Axel and Lamia going at it like a couple of rabbits, that is.

Evang: The reason why I said Akito and Yurika were safe from hours of mindless, pleasurable sex is because the gas was meant to be used against characters that have only appeared in games.

Axel: (Looking up from the valley between Lamia's breasts that he had been exploring.) What!?

Ichiro: So that's why you ordered Jemu to protect just the Paris Hanagumi.

Evang: True.

Axel: You lied to me! You lied to ME?!

Lamia: More, General, please- ahn! Deeper!!

Coquelicot: I wanna see! Erica!

Erica: I don't want you to see it either!

Of the Hanagumi, only Lobelia was staring, unabashedly of course, at the copulating visitors.

Lobelia: Go girl! No, raise your knees to the sides of your- yes, just like that. Attagirl.

Sumire: This is the last time I'm going to attend a party in this- this-

Sakura: This is all your fault, Ohgami-san!

Ichiro: I didn't recall inviting any of you to come with me. I was hoping to meet some new faces, without you running interference.

Hanabi: You mean, without any of us telling your prospect what a cad you are.

Glycine: You really can't trust Japanese. (Corrects herself at Hanabi's glare.) Japanese men, I mean.

Orihime: All except for my father, that is.

Kanna: That's our Taichou for you.

Ichiro: (Jumping up and producing a mike and a fake mustache.) A-KO SHI MI-SU-TA SU-WA-BE, OH OH OH OH GU-RA-BE, HA-BU-RIN NAN BA-BA-E, A-RA-U MAN O GA-BE.

Bigsweats everywhere!

Ichiro: Tenkawa, you know this song! C'mon!

Akito: If I sing, will you let me out? Yurika's getting real cuddly again. I don't know of I can hold out much longer.

Ichiro: Out of ammo?

Akito: No. I'm dead tired.

Yurika: But I'm trying to bring you back to life!!

One confused struggle later...

Jemu: What I'd like to know is when Lamia turned from W17 to Wait, She's Just 17.

Lamia: (Takes Axel's manhood out of her mouth.) When I had finished filming both Super and Real Robot paths. No pun intended- ow! (Cranes her neck to pout at Axel.) What did you bite me for, General?

Axel: Because you make bad puns and taste real good. (Takes another nibble at the pale thigh so close to his mouth.)

BOS: Anybody want to see the way the Real Robot Space Bowl outside is progressing? I've got a live feed.

Kohran: I wanna watch!

Ichiro: Kohran, you'll be watching robots getting smashed by other robots.

Kohran: So long as there aren't any Koubu out there.

Lamia: Let me up, please, General Axel. I want to watch too.

Axel: Only if you'll sit in my lap so I can have access to your neck, shoulders, ears, sides, belly, thighs and breasts. Especially your breasts. (Cupping them to prove his point.)

Lamia: (Sighing, and leaning back into him.) If you insist.

BOS brought the screen up as everybody positioned themselves for the best view.

Jemu: Hey, where's the FMP team?

Evang: They asked permission to run 0G combat sims for their units. Let them be, they'll be busy.

Sada: That's Tsukumo, isn't it?

Jemu: In the Denjin? Yeah.

Sariko: I thought he was piloting a Dai-Tetsujin.

Evang: Dai-Tetsujin is the name of his robot. It's a Denjin-class Gekigan-type unit.

Jemu: Who's the real tech-guy between the two of us?

Evang: Don't you see? It's Parallel Processing!!

As the two proprietors slugged it out behind the audience, the audience were being entertained by exploding Geshpents Mk I's and II's, and Argent Fighters. On opposite sides of the screen, the Hyukkebines caught their enemies in a micromissile crossfire. Super Robots that couldn't separate or dodge well enough were blown to bits, as well as other things that couldn't take that many micromissiles.

BOS: Scratch 2 Mazingers, Daitarn-3 and Ra Xephon's grandpa.

Sada: No more Dendrobium. But Kou's still there. Shame.

Sariko: That battleship with the little colorful things flying around it seems to be doing well.

Akito: I need to go out there!

Yutika: I knew it! You just want to score brownie points with Ruri, don't you? You pedophile!

Akito: I'm not a pedophile! She's already 16!

GASPS! Even Jemu and Evang stop fighting to gasp and stare.

Ichiro: Like I keep telling you - pedophiles are like the truth. They're out there...

Coquelicot: How come I never noticed you trying to look at us when we bathe?

Ichiro: (Smiling evilly.) I'm so good...

Iris: Iyaaa... onii-chan is hentai.

Kaede: Ohgami-san!!! Shame on you!!!

Ichiro: Not really. I'd be really hentai, now, if I was peeking in on the Bara-gumi.

He shudders, and so do the others.

Ayame: I ought to kill you for that, you know. Eeeeewww. Naked bishonen queens.

BOS: I have to warn you though, that if things continue on this disturbing trend in this episode, your going to start to write like the 10 o' clock Assassin.

Jemu: At least I won't engage in literary surgery. Be sure of that.

BOS: Eyng?

Evang: No growing of penises on women. That's doujinshi stuff.

Maria: Thank god for that much.

BOS: Just the usual harem/herder fuck-the-flock round-the-clock, eh?

Jemu: Since when did you become so vulgar, BOS?

Sada: Hey, something's happening.

The space around the SpaceBar was a mess. Mecha parts were literally everywhere. And a bright line of light appeared, like a cut on a tent wall, drawing the surviving good guys' attentions.

Tsukumo: I don't like the looks of this.

Gai: What is it?

Shinji: Another Shito attack?

Touji: From space?

Asuka: Were you expecting Martians?

Rei: The only Martians here are inside the SpaceBar, making out again.

Shinji: I'm so glad I'm through that phase.

Ruri: Hari-kun, damage report.

Hari: Go ask for it yourself. (Begins to weep.) After all these months of turning down offers from the female bridge bunnies so I could keep myself pure for you, only to find out that- that- I can't take it anymore!!!!!!!!!

Sheila: What's wrong with him?

Shou: I dunno. I don't understand kids these days.

Marvel: Growing up pains?

Galaria: Maybe.

Sheila: Goran Gran to Nadesico C, what's your status?

Ruri: We've taken severe hits and need to return to the SpaceBar drydocks for repair.

Jemu: Any casualties?

Ruri: ...

Jemu: I'll take that as a "They're all dead."

Axel: Umm. Uhh. Sorry to bring this up now, but- (Pulls Lamia's head away from his chest.) cut it out, babe.

Lamia: Hmm? Why?

Evang: What do you have to say, Aruma?

Axel: I need to talk, my sweet. (Holding Lamia against him, securing her arms to her sides.) That slash of light means that a Shadow Mirror mothership is coming through. Probably Lemon getting impatient and deciding to go see what's taking me so long to secure a foothold for the invasion.

Jemu: You seen rather chatty about all this.

Evang: It must be a side effect of Formula H, though I really can't be sure at this time.

Sada: What do you mean you're not sure?

Evang: Put simply, this is the field test of the Formula.

BOS: I hate to interrupt, but my sensors indicate a lare space-time distortion coming from behind that rift, or "slash of light" if you prefer.

Axel: Yay, you can expect a bigger fight now. My honor guard will look like nothing compared to all the nasties inside a Shadow Mirror mothership.

Lamia: Lemon will still probably get this station. Or what remains of it.

Sariko: You speak like you'll be miles away from the destruction.

Lamia: We won't be hurt. I can't say the same for you though.

Jemu: Really? Tell me Axel, how happy is Lemon going to be when she sees that instead of capturing a measly station, not only have you lost a bunch of your troops to Round Knight, but you've been just making love with her best creation?

Axel: Um... not very?

Evang: She probably won't show up at you're wedding. Maybe at your funeral.

BOS: I have good news and bad news.

Jemu: Report.

BOS: Good news first. All remaining Round Knight forces have been eliminated from the battlefield.

Sariko: That's good news?

BOS: They're not dead. I just returned them to their proper places in the mechaverse, as well as their cast-mates, whenever they 'died.' Like, where are the Class A Boson jumpers now?

Sada: Akito and Yurika? They're- gone...

BOS: I told you.

Evang: What exactly killed them?

Axel: Advance guard units from the mothership, probably. Some three dozen Gurngusts, at most.

Lamia: As well as some Go-Nagurls, MP Combattlers, and Greats.

Evang: OK. What's the bad news?

BOS: Saving those pilots strained our hammerspace facilities severely, almost overloading the crude chronosphere inside the core.

Sada: What's so bad about that?

Jemu: We won't be able to jump back to 1925 Japan or anytime else if those things decide to finish us with one big final beam.

Evang: If the SpaceBar goes down, no one will respawn again, ever.

Axel: Including us? WAAAAAHHH!!!

Sariko: Damn. And I just got here.

Silence fills the room.

Lamia: There is still a way out of this.

All eyes fasten on her.

Lamia: Lemon-sama is not an unreasonable person. So...

Jemu: Forget it. The SpaceBar is mine, and I am not giving it up. I'll go down with it, if need be.

Lamia: Then you must withstand the siege until the mothership fully emerges from the rift.

Axel: I wonder why we keep having engine problems whenever we try to enter this dimension.

Evang: I'm sorry about this, Ichiro, girls. There always seems to be a battle whenever you visit.

BOS: Lamia, are those units you mentioned AI controlled or piloted by soldiers?

Lamia: They all follow instructions from the mothership.

BOS: So if the mothership goes down...

Lamia: In that unlikely event, the units inside it and outside will be useless.

Jemu: BOS, I think I know what your plan is. You've been through this before, right? Defending from a siege, that is.

BOS: Gonna be interesting. What will we be using for a shield, this time?

Jemu: I don't know. Evang?

Evang: I'll just turn the whole station invisible to sight and sensors. Needs to be maintained though.

BOS: Great. Here's the plan. The key is Mr. Ohgami and his fan club...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

30 minutes later

The mothership was floating in an uncharted region of, well not really uncharted, space. It was facing where it assumed, correctly, the SpaceBar would be were it visible.

"Hail them," came the command.

A comm window opened. Fools, Lemon thought, now I have your locations! "All guns target on signal coordinates."

A tactical window showed the firing angle of the guns relative to the target, as a face appeared in the comm window. "Hello? Anybody here?"

"Axel! What the hell have you been doing?"

"Me? Nothing, really, just boinking your living sex doll."

"You've what?!?!?"

"You know, Lamia? Green hair, big eyes, bigger boobs than yours-"

"ALL GUNS FIRE NOW!!!"

"Battle control computer locations confirmed," BOS sang out.

The station shook a little as their cloaking enchantment changed to a defensive one in the blink of an eye. "Locations?" Ichiro blurted out.

"There are three areas in the ship where data is being sent to and from rapidly before the ship fired."

Jemu nodded. "Change of plans. Sada will still deep strike, but at the security control instead. Once she sends word that their shield is down, we'll torpedo you girls in three separayte tubes."

Ichiro blinked. "I'm a guy."

"Oh. Sorry."

The station shook again. "Jemu will sortie in one of his 'Originals.' Hopefully, it will be LL and get their attention - and firepower," Evang chanted, still in a lotus position and concentrating on the shield spell.

Axel spun his chair away from the comm console and faced the others. "Lemon says she'll be throwing my stuff out into space, and that if I liked Lamia over her that much, she'll just send us both to hell together."

"I take it that you're free now?" Lamia asked him, plopping herself into his lap. Axel grinned. "Free for you now, babe."

"So, if I asked the two of you two help me fight against your former allies, your answers would be...?"

Lamia and Axel looked at each other. "Okay with us."

"Great. So tell me, how do you feel about combination units?"

"You mean part of me goes into a part of her? Kinky."

"Enemy mobile weapons have launched from the station," stated the inhuman voice of the ship's computer.

"They dare match units with me? Mazingers, Combattlers, Go-Nagurls, attack! Gurngusts, formation to intensify your final beams!" Lemon ordered her pets. "Axel, W17 - no, Lamia - you will pay for betraying me!"



"Axel, you ready?"

"Yup."

"Lamia?"

"Yes, Jemu."

"Alrighty! All together now! Let's-!"

"COMPILE!!!" they screamed all at once, pressing a red button and pulling a lever on their respective consoles.

[Insert a rip-off transformation & combination sequence here.]

GAN GAN GAN GAN!!!

When the odds you are facing are 3 is to 23

Better think of winning strategies

You can't hide, and you can't run

Better think and dodge

DODGE! DODGE! Better DODGE!

Have them shoot their weapons and then hit themselves

And when that resort is done, there is one thing left to do

Accelerate, and then change shape, in order to make a

Bigger, Badder, BETTER ROBOT!!!

Lemon's ship unfortunately was not equipped with blinders to prevent her from seeing the above atrocity. As such, she slid to the floor, twitching, unable to hear the voices on the intercom.

"Madam Lemon! We have an intruder in the Security room! AIEEEEE-"

"Torpedos launched from enemy station - the point defense lasers are AAAAAAHHHHH!!!"

Sada grinned. It had been a while since she had done this sort of thing. Hearing heavy footfalls outside the room, she took a peek. Her grin was wiped off instantly. "Damn! Robot guards!!"

Slipping back into the room, she loomed over one crewman who was wide-eyed with fear. "Show me where the shield control is, and you shall avoid a quick death."

The fearful engineer pointed to a lever marked "Shield on/off switch".

"Good. I shall grant you a slow death, then."

The engineer would have screamed, but with his lungs being crumpled like toilet paper, he just wasn't able to. Pulling the lever, she heard a low humming sound die, and on a whim, she broke off the handle.

The doors swung open, and an armory on legs walked in. Seeing no sign of an intruder, it shrugged, then went off to look in another room. It took no notice of the broken handle; it was a SecBot, not a RepBot.

Back on the Spacebar, Sada emerged from a 14-inch monitor - and immediately got stuck. "Help, Sariko!"

Sariko, eager to be of assistance, grabbed Sada by the shoulders and pulled with all her demoness might. Sada came loose, and ended up on the floor tangled with Sariko, hair, skirts, and limbs flying every which way. Their resulting dishevelment caught Evang's attention, and the eerily provocative sight of pale skin exposed caused him to lose concentration on the shield spell.

"We have impact of the Penetrator pods on the Shadow Mirror mothership," BOS announced.

"It's up to the Hanagumi now," Evang replied.

Jemu's image appeared. "I take it by the sudden inactivity of the Gurngusts that Sada's mission was successful?"

"Damn! I wanted to kick some Gurnie heiny!" Axel crowed.

"The combat capabilities of this Better Robo have yet to be tested against Shadow Mirror Gurngusts."

"You saying you're scared, Lamia? Not to worry, the Axe-man is here."

"Don't tell me you cleaned up the MP Greats, Combattlers, and Go-Nagurls?" Evang inquired.

"It was fun while it lasted," Axel replied.

"Maybe we could capture those idle Gurngusts and keep them for our own," Evang mused.

"That's not a good idea. These computer-controlled Gurngusts have self-destruct devices built into them. Besides, they also have an AI that automatically kicks in after a few minutes if their primary controller is off-line."

"Uh, Lamia, why didn't you tell us this before?"

"I had other things on my mind lately."

Floating in space, still maintaining their V-formation, the Gurngusts waited. Then, as one, five pairs of robotic eyes gleamed.

Evang had resumed his pose on the floor. Reawakened Ultimate Warrior types, five of them against one Super Experimental Defender, did not bode well for anyone. "Sada, Sariko, run communications and coordination for me while I busy myself with a bigger shield spell."

"Um, okay."

"BOS, take care of them, will you? I'll be out for a while."

"Righto. Go take your nap, or whatever."

A light on the panel blinked. "That must be the away team," Sada remarked. A second later, Ichiro's image appeared on screen.

"Reporting a lot of spare parts in battle control room one."

"Confirmed. Nice going, Lieutenant."

Maria's image appeared next. "The second target has been neutralized. Any word on the Lieutenant and the Parisians?"

"We're okay back here, Maria. Sakura, Kohran, and Iris did well. You and yours?"

"Kanna and Sumire had a kill-race. They did most of the damage, while Orihime, Reni and I took care of other matters."

"Meaning that Fraulein Kirishima and Fraulein Kanzaki wasted grunts while we took care of the more dangerous looking ones," Reni explained.

At this, more screens opened. Kanna and Sumire both protested to "having been surmmarized as minor roles," while Orihime admonished Reni against making such frank, however true, statements. Erica butted in as well, eager to be heard above the din.

"We're almost done here - Lobelia, what do you think you're going to do with all those grenades? And get back into your Koubu, I don't think it's safe to get out yet!"

As if on cue, a fallen Secbot raised its gun arm and snapped off a burst of fire, forcing Lobelia back into her Koubu. But not before a Stiehlhandgranate flew toward the offender.

BOS somehow managed to organize the windows, so as to maintain communications and observe the battle between the Beta Robo and the Gurngusts. "Lobelia, don't blow the ship up just yet. We're thinking of assimilating it later. Besides, transportation out of there isn't ready yet, and I'm pretty sure that your Koubus aren't made for survival in vaccuum."

"So what do we do now?" Ichiro asked, his face tense with concentration, apparently engaged in combat.

"And where do these robots keep coming from?" Kohran inquired.

"That'll be your next job, I think," Ayame informed them. "To totally secure the vessel, you must prevent more reinforcements from appearing."

"Fujieda-san? We didn't notice you come in!" Maria exclaimed.

"Neither did the other readers."

BOS heaved a sigh. "Welcome to the War Room, Ayame."

"War Room? But I followed the directions for the Main Lounge to get me a cup of tea!"

"Aheheheheh- um, could you like, uh, give us a hand? If it's not too much to ask."

"After I have my tea."

A teacup on a floating saucer, as well as a honey pot and a sugar bowl on a hovering tray, appeared. "Quick service. I like that. Now, let's see what you have here..."

Lemon broke into a sweat. She had recovered consciousness at the same time the Gurngusts got theirs, and so noticed the change in tactics in the invaders. They seemed more organized now than before. What could have happened? It was like playing a real-time strategy game on medium difficulty, then having it jump all the way up to impossible.

She checked the overall integrity of the ship. Things were looking bad, as two SecBot facilities were downed, and a third was on its way to getting totaled. Time to cut losses, she decided. Setting a collision course against the Spacebar, she rose and made her way to the emergency escape pod. There was always a next time, and another mothership. "And always another time for revenge," she said out loud, as she glanced at the monitor where the Gurngusts and the Beta Robo were fighting. "Assuming they survived, of course."

"BETTER BEAM!!!" A lance of green light speared through a Gurngust, causing it to explode.

"OPEN SAYS ME!!!" Beta Robo separated into three smaller robots, evading a sword that would have cut them into half.

"There's only one of them left! Don't bother reforming," Ayame ordered them.

"Roger. CRASH BEAM!!!"

"SPIKE CUTTER!!!"

"MIRAGE BOLT!!!"

A satisfying explosion ensued as the last Gurngust was first cut in half then blown to bits. The three pilots heaved a sigh of relief, thankful it was over.

It wasn't. Not by a long shot.

It was BOS who broke the news to them. "The Shadow Mirror mothership has been set on a collision course with the Spacebar."

"WHAAAAAAT!!!!??"

"I made some calculations, and even if the engines are destroyed, it would still hit with tremendous force."

"Naturally."

"I ordered the Hanagumi to set charges inside the vessel, but I'm not sure if that would help much," Ayame informed them.

"Thanks. We'll change to Dai-Dai-Dai Fighter and extract them," Jemu said.

"Then what? How are you going to stop the ram attempt?" Ayame inquired.

"We'll think of something. Right now, rescuing the Hanagumi is our first priority," Axel replied.

"Understood. I'll inform them about the extraction then."

"Axel, if you please?"

"CHANGE VERSION NOW!!! SWITCH ON!!!" Axel called out. Recognizing the voice and the command, the Better Units began to change shape and recombine into a heavily armed, heavily armored shuttle.

Jemu pressed a switch, hailing the Hanagumi taichou. "Somebody need a ride out there?"

"You betcha. Lobelia's set this whole place with charges, and Iris is out cold," Ichiro replied.

"Gotcha. Lamia, is there a place where we can attach a boarding tube so that the Koubu can get into the Dai-Dai-Dai Fighter easily?"

"The robot launch hangars would do nicely for this purpose."

"Excellent. Axel, take us there and set up the tube."

"Roger that."

"Ichiro?"

"We're on our way to the hangar. Just mark it on the map and set it to us."

"Okay. Sending data now. Ayame, how's Evang?"

"He's still here. Alive."

"Tell him to drop the shield spell. I need his participation here."

Ayame spoke to Evang. "Lower the shield, Evang-san. Your powers are needed elsewhere."

"What do you need this time, Jemu?"

"I need a spell that will amplify the damage from the Better Robo's final attack."

"I have just the thing. Call back when you're ready. I'll be stretching my legs a bit."

"Why don't you have Sariko massage them?"

"That's not a bad idea," Sariko replied, a predatory glint in her eyes."

"Let me cast Demonbane first, just in case you get weird."

One after the other, the Koubu slid down the tube attached to the mothership and into the Dai*3 Fighter's hold. Ichiro came down last. The trapdoor closed, and they sped off, back to the Spacebar.

"BOS, prepare to receive us."

"OPEN GEEEEEEEEEEEE-TO!!!!!"

The hangar doors opened, and the Dai*3 Fighter swooped in. Once the hangar doors closed and air pressure was stabilized, Axel let everyone out.

"What about the mothership?" Hanabi asked.

"Oh, you mean this?" Lobelia answered. So saying, she brought out a watch on a chain and pressed something on it.

Explosions ripped through the length of the mothership. The major locations such as the hangar and engines were ripped apart and turned into space junk. Still, the behemoth crept forward.

"That didn't seem to work, " Glycine remarked.

"On the contrary. By destroying the engines, we might have been bought a little more time. Everyone, into the War Room. We need to re-launch," Jemu said, the Dai*3 Fighter separating into the three Better units.

"Good luck!" Sakura called out as she went through the door.

"You'll certainly need it," came Reni's flat pronouncement.

The hangar doors opened once more, and the Better Units flew out and quickly reformed Better Robo.

"Estimated distance to target, 900 meters!" Axel announced.

"Effective power level is at 50%," Lamia called out.

"Drop the shields and direct all power to weapons," Jemu orderd.

"800 meters!"

"Effective power at 80%."

"Better Robo moving into position. Evang, you ready with your spell? Evang? Good God, there's not time for that now!"

"He's right, Sariko, you can drain my vitae later! Tasting my blood is worthless if you die in the next second!"

"But I must feed! I simply must!"

"Go feed on Sada, for crying out loud!" With a mighty effort, Evang threw the drooling demoness toward the black-haired wraith. Sariko, not being a picky eater, was content to harass Sada, which promptly started a wrestling match that almost broke Evang's concentration again. "Ayame-san, tell me when they fire, alright? The Better Robo's final waza, that is."

"Okay."

"Distance 300 meters!"

"Energy lines clean!"

Ayame whispered, speaking for all aboard the Spacebar,"Better Robo, subete o kakeyou."

"PAWAAAAA MAAAKKUSU!!!" Evang yelled, gesticulating at the Better Robo's image on the screen.

"SUTOOOOOOOOOOOONDO SAAAAAANSHIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIINN!!!" Jemu called out, as the Better Robo gathered all its remaining energy into a huge ball and hurled it at the approaching mothership. At precisely one second before impact, the ball swelled, easily capable of engulfing the Spacebar itself, and ignited itself as it transformed into a miniature, epehemeral star.

The mothership didn't stand a chance. Its insides already weakened by the Hanagumi, its shields disabled by Sada, it was almost overkill to see it melt as it approached the center of the new star like ice to a smelter. Bits and pieces of it tried to escape by flaking off, but no sooner had they detached than they were instantaneously vaporized.

The star then began to shrink, then finally fade away to nothingness, leaving just a tiny gravitational time-space anomaly no larger than a pinprick to mark its former existence.

Jemu, Axel, and Lamia heaved a sigh of relief. "So, can my general and I go back to making out now?"

"There are a lot of rooms in the Spacebar that are suitable for making out and more in the Space- hey, what's up Axel?"

"We have zero energy left. And we're floating in space."

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

Ayame was almost pushing the Teito Hanagumi members into the Hammerspace portal. "Hurry! You don't want to be caught by her!"

Ichiro stood his ground. "No way."

"Huh?"

"I saw how much fun those three were having back there. I want a piece of that too!" By those three, he meant Sada, Sariko, and Evang.

"That's not all there is to it, Ohgami. Sariko is a serotonin vampire."

"She's a what?"

"She gets you hot and bothered, then almost ready to blow. The chemical cocktail in your blood just before you ejaculate is what she's after. It's what she feeds on."

"Ugh." Ayame and Ichiro looked at each other and exchanged grimaces. BOS continued narrating in evil glee.

"She'll take little bite-bites out of your chests, your sides, your shoulders, your arms, and that's not enough for her. She'll then use those fangs of hers to..."

"I'm going, I'm going!!!" Ichiro said, jumping through.

"Wait for me!" Ayame said. Instead of passing through, she slammed into what she felt was a padded wall. "MMMPHF!!"

"Um, Fujieda-san? You're dead, remember?"

"Oh. Right."

"Why aren't you shooing the Paris Hanagumi in?"

"I want to talk to them, for a while."

"Better do it via kinematron, then. The Spacebar can communicate with kinematrons too."

"But it's so much better in personal!"

"Would you want another Sariko on board?"

"Huh?"

"Sariko can also convert her victims into beings like her. I suspect Lobelia would be her first choice, and the rest will follow."

"How- why?!"

"Sariko is from a game as well, you see. Oh, she might be a demoness, but she was human once."

"What have I gotten myself into?" Ayame asked no one in particular.

END?