SpaceBar Second Stage: Episode 10 - The Sky Is Falling

A Jemu Nekketsu Fanfic

DISCLAIMER: All standard disclaimers apply.

"Why the sudden burst of lemons, Mr. Nekketsu?"

Jemu looked at the reporter. He was a representative of the species – perfect hair, perfect teeth, and even perfect attire. "Well, Al, it was a phase I was going through. I realize that the quality of my work had been going to the trash, so to speak, so why not go all the way trashy?"

The interview had been over hours ago, yet those words still rang in his head. He sighed. Evang, his sidekick / clone (who had recently taken to wearing all sorts of funny masks that didn't really hide who he was) heard him and raised an eyebrow at him, not saying anything.

"Where's your significant other?" Jemu asked.

"She's seeing to settling the new inhabitants of the DCA, along with Ayame. Maybe they're having an impromptu tea party, or whatever it is women do to welcome newcomers," the masked man replied.

In a series of unexpected events, Evang had ended up taking Sariko, a human-turned-demoness, as his lifelong mate. What was unusual was that she almost killed him once, and when he had recovered from the wounds she inflicted he set out to hunt her down and bring her to heel.

Up till now, Jemu had no idea of what had happened once his irate clone had caught up with is prey. He figured Evang and Sariko had a massive drag-out knockdown brawl which Evang came out of victorious. Though Sariko was highly supernatural – she was a young woman during the Second World War before she turned into a demoness – Evang was a student of arcane lore. Though he was an anachronism, Jemu admitted that were it not for his magical skills, they would have died a long time ago.

"What was that?" Jemu belatedly realized that Evang was asking him something.

"Shouldn't you be calling those four idiots back? I'm betting those battery-powered Gundams are running low by now."

"I guess you're right." Picking up a communicator mouthpiece, Jemu spoke into it. "Attention, Aestivalis rip-off Gundams. Enter the hangar doors I am opening now. Your operation time is up, and I'm sure you don't want to be sitting ducks when something wicked comes this way."

"Why isn't Gai's Aestivalis running out of energy?" Nicol wanted to know.

"That's because they've installed a Gekiga Wave Emitter on the SpaceBar, just for me!" Gai answered, chuckling gleefully.

"Gekiga – Wave?" Mwu asked, bewildered. "First time I ever heard of it."

"You'll have to forgive Gai – he sees the world in terms of old school super robot animé. What he meant was that the station has a gravity wave emitter, among other esoteric technologies, thanks to Jemu-san," Tsukumo explained.

"I hate to interrupt the science lecture, people, but I've got several unidentified bogeys inbound on our location, and moving real fast!" Kaji cut in over the commlink.

"Speak of the devil," Evang remarked.

"Does this happen often?" Nicol asked.

"Well, it's not unheard of for SpaceBar episodes to begin with a battle," Jemu offered.

"Now who's seeing the world like animé?" Gai muttered, swinging his Aestivalis around to cover the retreating Gundams.

"They've fired a couple of shots!" Kaji announced. "They appear to be unguided, but they're going to hit the SpaceBar if unchecked!"

"I'll take care of them! Shiratori-san, get those Aestivalis rip-offs to safety!" Gai called out.

"Understood. Take care, Gai. Nicol, Mwu, fly close and tight, so I can cover you with my distortion field and my armor."

"Roger that. C'mon, boy, let's not die a second time," Mwu maneuvered the Aile Strike Gundam close to Nicol's Blitz.

Gai flew to the edge of the SpaceBar's gravity wave field, and waited for the missiles to come within melee range. He didn't have to wait long, and soon he had visual contact on his targets. "What the heck!"

"What is it Gai?" Kaji asked.

"Transferring visual of targets now!"

Inside the command room of the SpaceBar, the Main Lounge, Kaji, Jemu, and Evang gaped at the projectiles. "Aren't those - ?" Evang began.

"Drill Pressure Punches? Screw Crasher Punches?" Jemu finished for him.

"What are you, living in some 70's or 80's super robot show?" Kaji asked.

"I believe that joke has been used already," Jemu snapped.

"So we make it into a running gag. Isn't that how you guys operate?" Kaji asked irreverently. "Gai, take care of those two things."

"Watch me! GEKIGAN SWORD!" Gai cried out, pulling out his Aesti's Immediate Knife and rushing headlong into one of the flying fists' path. He activated his distortion field and slashed at the nearest projectile. He was successful in deflecting it such that it would no longer hit the SpaceBar, but… "No! My Gekigan Sword is broken!"

"That's bad news. Kaji, raise the barrier!" Jemu ordered.

"Barrier? What barrier?" Kaji asked.

"We don't have a barrier?" Jemu was surprised.

"If you'll recall, I created the barrier that prevented us from dying once," Evang offered. "Can't do it in the nick of time though."

"Gai! Can you chase down the remaining punch and hit it with your Field Lancer?" Tsukumo asked.

"I'll try! GEKIGAN SHOOT!" Gai blasted off, Field Lancer held in both hands.

"Shiratori-san, he's not going to make it. It's up to you," Kaji announced.

"Understood. You two, go on in." Turning around, Tsukumo raised his Daitetsujin's arms and shouted the voice command, "Rocket Punch!" His unit's arms flew off, aimed to intercept the streaking enemy projectile. With a shower of sparks, the three arms met, and the spinning one was sent arcing back to its owner. "Control, my arms seem to be dead in the water."

"I see you've been disarmed so easily," Evang quipped.

Meanwhile, at the Dead Characters Apartments, or the DCA, the women were indeed having a tea party. Well, it wasn't much of a party, there being only four of them, but tea was flowing freely. Ayame and Sariko were presiding. The new tenants were women on board the fallen Dominion, Natarle Badgiruel and Fllay Allster.

"So, how does it feel to be alive again?" Ayame asked them.

"It sure beats being dead," Fllay quipped.

"Is it true that not only dead people, but also destroyed units eventually find their way here?" Natarle asked.

"Yes, indeed. Why, even as we speak," Sariko gestured, and a portion of the wall slid open to reveal a monitor. "BOS? Give us a roving camera in the hangar, if you please."

"Yes, mistress," BOS answered over the intercom, startling the newcomers. The monitor flickered to life, passing over bays empty and occupied.

"Hey, isn't that the Strike? And there's the Blitz, too!" Natarle pointed at the screen, not believing her eyes.

"Yes, that is Kira's Gundam, isn't it? Does that mean he's dead too?" Fllay asked hopefully.

"I regret to inform you that you are the only expected new arrivals, along with Misters La Flaga and Amarfi," BOS replied.

Fllay sighed. "I guess he's probably boinking that pink-haired bitch."

Natarle looked pointedly at Fllay's hair and said nothing.

"Maybe he has a pink fetish," BOS deadpanned.

"Enemies are in Ion Cannon range," Kaji announced.

"Is everybody okay down there?" Jemu asked the people in the hangar.

"We're alright, Commander," Tsukumo replied with a salute.

"You're not in the army anymore, Shiratori-san," Evang reminded him.

"I've finished analyzing the units, sir. I have info on 3 out of the 4 targets. One of them is and EG-X Soulgain, the other is an ASK Custom Ash Saver, and the third is an RG Custom Laz Angriff. The fourth one is not in our databanks sir, but is seems that its construction is based on a Tesla Reich design."

"A Grungast? You're telling me we're being attacked by a Grungast and a bowl of weird-flavored alphabet soup?" Jemu asked.

"I don't think they appreciate that joke, Jemu. They've just fired again! Four flying fists, multiple energy bursts, and large caliber artillery!"

"How large?" Evang asked.

"BOS says it's the one used to blow up dropships while in re-entry," Kaji replied.

"And why isn't BOS in the bridge with us?" Jemu wanted to know.

"Seems he's gotten tangled up in a tea party, boss-man. We still have enemy crap coming our way, sir," Kaji slipped.

"Give me a defensive multi-missile strike to filter out the rocket punches and the artillery shell, Kaji."

"What about the energy beams?"

"We'll just have to tank it. This is bridge to hangar. Somebody pick up!"

"We hear you, Chief," Tsukumo replied.

"Shiratori, take Gai and – hmm, Mwu and get into the Better Machines. Be prepared to sortie under fire."

"You got it, sir. You heard the man, Gai; get Mwu into Kaji's Better Machine."

"Yossha! Finally! We get to use the - " Gai never got to finish his sentence.

"You can exclaim later. Move, people! Nicol, you're on standby, and prepare to support once your Blitz is ready."

"Understood," the young Coordinator replied.

"There she blows!" Evang announced. Explosions filled the screen of the bridge, followed by blinding light as the energy beams cut through the cloud of debris and gas and ripped into the SpaceBar's hull. The lights blinked.

"What was that?" Ayame asked BOS.

"We are under attack. Mistress Sariko, please head to the Main Lounge. The rest of you, please go as well," BOS said.

"You don't have to tell us twice," Natarle said, ushering Fllay out of the door.

"I only said it once," BOS protested.

"It was a figure of speech," Natarle explained.

A loud voice was suddenly boomed all over the SpaceBar, echoing through the rooms and corridors, causing them to shake.

"GIVE IT BACK!"

"Did he just say 'give it back'?" Kaji asked.

"I heard it clear. Didn't you, Fllay?" Natarle asked the girl. Fllay nodded.

"You're the newcomers, right? I'm Kaji. Welcome to the SpaceBar, and on behalf of everyone, I'm sorry that this had to happen on your first outing here."

"Better Machines prepare for launch! Open the gate!" Jemu shouted.

The hangar blast doors opened, and the three Better Machines were catapulted out, their sleek aerodynamic forms meeting no problems in zero gravity. "So, I fly this thing like a Mobile Armor, then?" Mwu asked, studying Better Jaguar's console.

"Close enough, though you'll notice two conspicuous buttons on your console. The red one is tells your unit to change into combat mode, while the blue one puts it in Gattai mode," Jemu explained.

"Gattai mode?" Mwu asked, confused. "Does that mean…?"

"Shiratori-san, we need some time to get the station defenses online. For that, we need the enemies to not fire at us," Kaji said to Tsukumo over the comm.

"Understood. Gai, Mwu did you catch that?" Tsukumo asked the other pilots.

"Yatta! It's time, it's time – nani? They're firing at us!" Gai bit off.

Back at the Main Lounge, which had now transformed into a war room or a tactical bridge, Natarle was sneakily sliding herself into the 2nd-in-command's chair when Ayame rounded on her. "Just what do you think you're doing?" the brunette demanded.

"I- ah, I was getting tired standing up, and it was the nearest seat, so I…" Natarle dissembled. Meanwhile, Fllay asked Kaji, "Is it okay if I took this seat?" indicating the seat next to his.

"Only if you'll do the part. That seat is for the tactical information officer, who does everything from observing enemy movements to monitoring the status of our friendlies. Are you up to it?"

"It doesn't come with a button that shoots a gravity blast when I press it?" Fllay wondered aloud.

"I'm afraid not. That would be for the Sergeant-at-arms console, over there," Kaji pointed to the position slightly set off below the Commander's chair.

Fllay was torn. She was more comfortable with the idea of just looking at things and calling out, but the chance to hit that little coordinator with a gravity blast was too appealing. However, matters were taken out of her hands when Ayame changed into her dominatrix / demoness outfit and forced Natarle to yield the 1st mate's seat and settle for the gunner position instead. Sighing, she slid in beside Kaji.

Outside, the Better machines were weaving out of danger like Newtype aces, barely able to slow down the approach of the Soulgain and the modified Grungast. The ASK and RG customs were content to spray them with fire from a distance.

"Can I call it out this time?" Gai wheedled Tsukumo. Tsukumo sighed.

"You already did so last time, but it's beneath Mwu's or my dignity, so I guess we're stuck with you."

"What're you two talking about? What's beneath my dignity?" Mwu wanted to know.

"We're entering Gattai mode, Mwu. Command, this is Eagle. We're going to give these attackers a sight so horrible they'll wish they never came here in the first place."

"Understood. Kaji, raise the screens," Evang ordered.

"Sorry, dude, the last time we did this, the protective screens gave up from the horror. It's down to personal protection," Kaji replied, brandishing a pair of MIB-style glasses.

"Lucky for me this nifty mask has been modified for such an occasion," Evang bragged.

"You look like an idiot wearing it, though," Sariko smirked.

"Look, if you want to watch them perform that ineffable feat of mockery in front of your own naked eyes, be my guest. Don't blame me if your brain starts to crawl down your nose."

"This is Nicol to bridge. My Blitz is finished recharging."

"Good to hear that. Get in your cockpit and stand by, and for your sake do not turn on your visual sensors until I say so, got it?" Jemu asked.

"Sounds weird, but I can comply with that."

"Alright, boys and girls, peek at your own risk. Fllay, patch me through all the communication lines in this battle," Evang asked.

"Done."

"Good girl. Ahem. Attention unknown attackers. You are in violation of Antarctic Treaty Clause 3, Section 16, which states that you do not attack us unless you want it really bad. I am giving you one final opportunity to cease your attack and escape this sector whole. What is your response?"

A face appeared on the main screen, a man with white hair and a red and blue face mask, somewhat similar to Evang's. "You low-life thieving scum! I am the Sword of Magus, and that is my mask! GIVE IT BACK!"

"That's the pilot of the Grungast," Fllay informed the bridge.

Another face, this time a red-haired woman wearing a coronet of some sort, appeared as well. "We claim this station and all within it in the name of the Shadow Mirror – hmm, this feels rather familiar."

"That's the ASK pilot," Fllay announced.

"She looks hot," Kaji remarked.

"Men," Natarle huffed, disgusted.

"I mean, hair that long has to be hot, right?" Kaji insisted.

"She does look awfully familiar," Jemu began.

A second man's face appeared on screen. "Jeez, what is it with masks and weirdoes?" He had a patently fakeblonde wig, and wide black sunglasses. "Hey, Echidna, deliver my speech for them, will ya? I don't feel inclined to do so."

A fourth face popped up, female this time, with short pink hair cut in what could have been termed as a chic, no-nonsense hairdo. "Our main objective is your station. We are willing to duel with anyone of your defenders for possession of this base should you decide to take the intelligent approach."

"But the more intelligent approach would be to turn tail and run," the man in shades added helpfully.

"And if you give back my mask, I might spare you the wrath of Magus!" the first man roared.

"Wodan, I swear, if you go on about your mask another time…" the long-haired woman warned.

"The weirdo in the blonde wig is in that huge blue thing with the mustache, and the other woman is in the red tin can," Fllay informed the crew.

"Pretty friendly bunch, eh? A regular, chummy team of four," Kaji quipped.

"Commander, I'm getting weird readings from the Grungast. Take a look." Jemu came over to Fllay's console.

"Ah, jeez, no. Not those!"

"What is it, Jemu?"

"Machine cells, Evang, of all the tough luck, can we get any unluckier or what?"

"So that means there are two regenerating fat-asses out there?"

"That about sums it up nicely, yes."

"Huh. Let's see them regenerate this! Gai! It's showtime!" Evang shouted. Jemu cried out at the same time, "Nobody look!"

Gai whooped, and hit the play button on his walkman, causing Ichiro Mizuki to begin singing, "Aoi BOTAN no shiteru ka, Akai BOTAN no, shiteru ka! Tatakae ima da sono toki da! Sora wo miro hasshin GO byou made! Uchuu SUPESU NANBA 1! Sengoku majin NANBA 1!" He then hit the blue button on his console and called out to his two companions, "Blue button pushed! LET'S GEKIGA-IN!"

"GEKIGA-----IN!" Tsukumo shouted, sounding unhappy and venting it out by yelling the today's command phrase, pressing the blue button on his console as well.

"GEKIGA IN!" Mwu's own exhortation sounded unsure, unsure of the sanity of his decision, or of his owneither.

Mixed stock footage of Getter Robo combination sequences and the hot, newly released SRX Variable Formation to the tune of various riffs from JAM Project and Gekiganger songs filled the empty space. Finally, it came to a merciful end, the dreaded Better Robo standing in front of the Shadow Mirror quartet, ready for battle.

"Oh, the humanity!" cried out Wodan. He was trying to find away to scratch his eyes out without tearing his mask off.

"It seems his mask is inferior to mine," Evang gloated.

"Oh my eyes! I knew it was all so familiar, but did I do anything about it? Nooooo! Lemon no baka! Baka baka baka baka!"

"Ouch! What the fuck was that? It feels like I stuck my head into an oven, and blew the oven up with plastic explosives!"

"Commander Axe- ah, I mean, Lieutenant Axminster, are you alright?" Echidna asked.

"Of course I'm not alright! Don't just stand there, get them!" the blonde in shades cried out.

Jemu teleported himself into the hangar with BOS's help. "I'm going out with Nicol to support them in the Wild Ritter," he spoke to his wrist communicator.

Fllay checked, then replied. "Wild Ritter, Blitz, you are clear for take-off!"

"Nicol Amarfi, Blitz Gundam, ike!"

"Wild Ritter, go!" Jemu flew out after the Coordinator boy.

The Soulgain and the Machine Cell-infested Grungast proved to be too much for the Better Robo to handle (despite the Better Robo resembling the SRX and Getter Robo, it was way too far in terms of performance)– having a Gundam pilot in a Super Robot didn't help much either. Slowly, despite the Better team's efforts, they were pushed back, closer to the SpaceBar. Soon enough, they were fighting on it.

"Your plans aren't working, Mwu! Remember, we're much bigger than what you're used to pilot!" Tsukumo admonished him.

"I don't get it! They're almost as big as we are, but they move a whole lot faster!" Gai complained.

On the flip side, the battle between the smaller units was going well. The Blitz Gundam's Phase Shift Armor was doing a good job of negating the Laz Angriff's attacks. As for the Wild Ritter and the Ash Saver, they were engaged in a dogfight, strafing and blasting all the time. At one point Lemon tried to use the Ash Saver's Sword Breaker remote guided weapons, but Jemu simply brought the Wild Ritter's Vulcans and the Ochstan Rifle to bear and blew the bits away. She then contented herself with trading fire with her Gun Rapier and her Halberd Launcher. Nicol, being the sneaky little opportunist that he was, took potshots at the Ash Saver as well – when Echidna wasn't aiming her huge shoulder cannon at him.

"We're getting hammered!" Mwu called out to the Spacebar.

Ayame caught Natarle's eye. "Um, got any ideas? I must admit I'm not used to orchestrating battles in space."

"Trade seats with me," Natarle said, and the two women did so.

"Mr. Ryoji," the ex-captain of the Dominion said, "what do we have online, in terms of defensive weapons?"

"We have basic anti-air missiles and anti-mobile suit artillery – none of which would seriously threaten Phase Shift Armor, ma'am. But we have lots of them. And as we speak, BOS is prepping a second multi-missile."

"Pass battery fire control to Ayame-san. Aim for the heads of the enemy units – I'm betting that they can't hit what they can't see. Ms. Allster, put me through the Better Robo."

"Yes, bridge? NGAAAHHH!" Tsukumo groaned as a bolt of energy from the infested Grungast hit the Better Robo.

"Better Team, disengage your connection and fight as three separate units when we give you the opportunity, is that understood?"

"You can't guess how I've waited to hear that," Mwu muttered.

"Ayame, fire!" Natarle barked.

"Te!" Ayame cried, pressing the fire button. Missiles streaked out of hidden bays, creating a lively Itano circus, while 120mm guns swung out of their fairings and fired continuously at the Soulgain and the Grungast.

"Gai, Mwu, hit the red button on your consoles and scream the voice command, 'GEKIGA OUT!'" Tsukumo ordered his teammates.

"Do I really have to scream?" Mwu complained.

"Yes you do! The voice command is there so we don't accidentally disengage is we hit the wrong button!" Gai explained. "GEKIGA---- OUT!" he cried, pressing the red button, ordering the Better Bear to break away from its partners and to fight solo.

Tsukumo and Mwu followed suit. The three of them whizzed away, noticing the faded colors of the Blitz Gundam retreating, the Laz Angriff chasing it and shooting grappling lines as it went.

The cannon barrage continued, and the missiles never stopped coming. "Blast it!" the blonde swore, "Echidna! Do something useful with that walking tank of yours and silence these guns! It's breaking our concentration!"

A little distance from the Soulgain, the Grungast pulled a sword hilt out of its shoulder, and produced a gargantuan sword. "ZANKANTOU!" Wodan cried out, swinging the enormous blade, destroying an entire volley of missiles. That didn't stop the artillery, though.

"Wodan! Conserve your energy!" Lemon called out, dodging a barrage of attacks from the Wild Ritter's Ochstan Rifle.

"Why should I, when there is no foe worthy enough to spend it on?" Wodan shouted back.

Echidna stopped some distance behind the Soulgain and the Grungast, so that the defenses wouldn't target her. Unfortunately for the SpaceBar's defenses, she could acquire them through the smoke and debris while staying out of their sensor range. "Clear out," she said to Wodan and Axe—um, Axminster. "Phalanx Missiles, fire!"

"We have multiple heat signatures inbound!" Fllay announced, panic in her voice.

"Counter-battery!" Natarle shouted.

"No good! The batteries will blow up if we push them one more time, and we'll be left sitting ducks!" Ayame said.

"We might be able to destroy some of them with an ion cannon burst," Kaji suggested, "But the beam isn't very wide – mainly because it's used to snipe the bridges of enemy battleships."

"Do it, Mr. Ryoji!"

A blue lance of energy shot out from the SpaceBar, causing the combatants to pause. Echidna noted its trajectory – the blast was aimed at her, the dozen or so missiles it destroyed were merely collateral damage. She knew this day would come, that the Laz Angriff might not be tough enough, knew that it wasn't fast enough, to let her escape. She closed her eyes and waited for the loss of consciousness that was said to come with death.

It never came. While everyone was watching the beam and the missiles move in slow motion toward their targets, Axel took quick stock of the situation and darted, like a blue comet, right into the path of the ion beam. At the last second, he spun and crossed the Soulgain's arms in front of its face and tried to block it. It was like watching a man block the spray from a fire hose. He was pushed back, back, and the armor on the Soulgain's arms began to fuse with the joints and underlying structure, and suddenly the beam was cut off.

Even the crew in the Main Lounge could see the smoke wafting from the partly ionized unit, forming a misty cloud around it. They could scarcely believe something withstood that. They thought they were dreaming, but the explosions that rocked the Main Lounge and the alarms going off told them it was real.

"Damage report?" Natarle asked shakily.

"We've lost 40 hull integrity, and 20 internal integrity. We've got fires springing all over, and BOS has gone offline to deal with them," Kaji reported.

"This can't go on anymore," Evang finally spoke after a long time. "Sariko, come with me to the hangar. Natarle, you're in charge while I'm gone."

"What are you – you're going to sortie?" Kaji asked. "And Sariko too?"

"We have to press advantage now. Look, Nicol's Blitz is still resting, and one of them bad guys has a nasty case of sunburn. Pass the word to pick on that blue mustache robot," Evang replied. "Sariko, you'll take the Hellscythe Huckebein, and support me in the Zeta Huckebein. Wish us luck, people, we wish you the same."

While this was going on, the blonde in shades was berating Echidna. "I don't want to catch you sleeping in the battlefield, understand? What were you thinking? Fire, break off, reposition or take cover, then take aim again! Don't they teach you combat chobits anything in basic training?"

"If she is as worthless as you say, then you should not have saved her," Wodan chirped in.

"W15 is right, Commander," Echidna said. The blonde noticed her slip but let it pass. "Your Soulgain has weakened to the point of danger – and the enemy has launched two more units into battle. They might be thinking of attacking you, in your state – this is my entire fault…"

"Shut up! Not another word from you! Echidna, why don't you go back to Lemon, and help her out with that gunslinger she's tangled with? You've done your job by silencing those defenses – good shooting, that – and I know you're almost out of ammo so stay back and play support, and don't get in my way."

"You're not thinking of going back there, are you Commander? In your condition…" the pink-haired woman insisted.

"After this battle, I am afraid I will have to discipline and punish you, Echidna, and Lemon's protests be damned. You have your orders, now move!" the blonde finished.

"You do not have to prove anything to me, Commander," Wodan began, "Allow me to handle all of them – after all, my mettle has yet to be tested in this battle."

"W15, if you know what is good for you, you will stay out of my way."

The Better team, who really should have known better, had pulled out their close combat weapons (for they were low on ammunition and energy) and with the two fresh Huckebeins swarmed around the Soulgain, dutifully ignoring the infested Grungast.

"Shield Assault Buster!" Sariko cried, sending her bladed shield flying at the Soulgain's head, intent on decapitating it. This the Soulgain dodged with ease, only to be set upon with swords made of energy and cold metal. And coming from the rear, the Zeta Huckebein transformed into Flight Mode, fired all its guns while advancing, then closed all its weapon bays as an energy fieldsurrounded it in an attempt to ram through it. They repeated this pattern, being broken only when the infested Grungast moved to follow the blonde commander's order: "What are you waiting for, W15? Use your Thrudgelmir to attack their command center while they all focus on me!"

"Commander, you must not take such risks!" Echidna admonished him. With a press of the trigger, she fired some missiles at the Wild Ritter, at the same time that Lemon resorted to her Sword Breaker once more. The Wild Ritter spun quickly with its plasma cutter and vulcans, but the combined barrage was too much and Jemu had to flee for his life. "Screw this, bitches, I'm going home," were his parting words.

"Sariko, leave those finish the Soulgain off with these three, I'll try to distract the zankantou robot." Evang, still in Flight Mode, let loose with another moving barrage and ram attempt. "You shall not pass!" he sent to the Thrudgelmir's pilot.

"YOU! Master of Mockery! GIVE IT BACK!" Wodan cried out, parrying the attacks with his zankantou, which came out of nowhere. Forced back, the Zeta Huckebein spun wildly out of control.

"Multiple heat signatures detected again!" Fllay said to everyone on the SpaceBar's side.

"The point defense lasers aren't up yet!" Kaji protested.

"The ASK custom is launching more remote weapons! I think they're going for the Better team and the Hellscythe!" Fllay announced.

"The Grungast is resuming course towards us and is firing its drill rocket punches," Ayame announced, "Should I fire the multi-missile at it now?"

"Do it!" Natarle agreed.

Lots of explosions went of at once – when everything cleared, the Better team was retreating, the Ash Saver and Laz Angriff in pursuit. The Thrudgelmir was charging with its zankantou out, though looking the worse for wear. The Soulgain was in a better condition now, and was heading for the SpaceBar as well.

"Only a miracle could save us now," Sariko muttered. Her Hellscythe was moving slowly, as if low on energy, which it was. Evang decided to tow her Huckebein back, watching grimly as the point defense lasers was deflected by the heavier units' armor, and dissipated by some sort of barrier on the smaller ones.

"Kiseki wa okoru yo, nando demo?" Evang asked himself.

Fllay noticed something. "There is something very fast moving toward us, and from what I can tell it seems to be a mobile suit."

"Seems to be, Ms. Allster? You're not sure?" Natarle pressed.

"Tolle had more experience with this – I didn't exactly train to be a bridge bunny!"

The thing was very, very fast – it was now in visual range of the SpaceBar, and everyone close to it. "That's – that's the Sazabi!" Jemu cried out in recognition. "Then that must be – riding in the cockpit is.."

"YAMERO!" blared out of the speakers, all the speakers on all consoles. "What a bunch of rotten bastards you are! I shall sue you all for copyright infringement, unless you all give it back!"

"Who do you think you are, stealing my lines? A master swordsman turned potter, living under an assumed name, who took up the sword once more just to impress the women?" Wodan demanded.

An angry Char Aznabel appeared on Wodan's comm. "You assume too much, and know too much! Toh!" A swarm of funnels flew from the Sazabi, neatly evading the Thrudgelmir's zankantou, and peppering the monstrosity with Minovsky particle fire. Then the Sazabi itself attacked, delivering a crushing kick to the Thrudgelmir's head, sending it hurtling into the side of the SpaceBar with a crash.

"Holy crap! He took the Thrudgelmir down in one move!" Jemu exclaimed.

"The Better – yeah, right, - team has returned. Only the Hückebeins are out in the field. The Sazabi is going after the Ash Saver now," Fllay announced.

"Should I the Sazabi as friendly for our targeting computers?" Ayame asked.

"Until we can be sure about Char's motives for being here, keep him a neutral," Jemu replied.

Outside, the Sazabi continued its ownage. Lemon foolishly sent her Sword Breakers against Char, only to watch in horror as they were shot down by his funnels. She pulled her laser blade out, but it was too late. Char was on her in a flash, beam sword tomahawk out and hacking. The Ash Saver was disarmed, literally, and was kicked into the side of SpaceBar as well.

"Hey, watch where you're aiming those corpses!" Evang, still wearing his mask, called out to Char.

"You! You're next!" Char cried out, murder in his mono-eye.

"Eeep!" Evang squeaked, firing all thrusters and zipping into the hangar with the Hellscythe in tow, screaming for Jemu, or anyone who could hear to close the blast doors. Deprived of his prey, Char turned the Sazabi around – and his gaze caught the big red thing on the battlefield. If the Laz Angriff could break into a sweat, it would have done so now.

"That color – MINE! Don't make me say it twice!" Char roared.

The Laz Angriff lasted only a few more seconds than the Ash Saver, and soon it shared its cousin's fate. Jemu radioed Char, "We really must protest, Mr. Aznabel, this wanton causation of collateral damage is most unbecoming!"

"Yeah, listen to him," the blonde in the shades calling himself Axminster taunted Char over the short-range instant messenger.

"You! Your very presence is a mockery thrice over! Die by my hand!" Char screamed.

"Thrice over? As in three times?" Axminster asked, as if demanding an elaboration. Char obliged, punctuating each word with a beam sword tomahawk blow.

"Strike one, your hair! Strike two, the glasses! And strike three, you amnesiac playboy, but still a womanizer!" With a final giant swing to end his tirade, Char sent the Soulgain right down the hole where the Thrudgelmir was. Wodan could have forced his Thrudgelmir to crawl out, but he got hit by a hurtling Shadow Mirror unit and was forced down again.

"M- M- M- MONSTER KILL!" Evang sang out over the IM, still wearing his polarized mask.

"Come out of there and fight like a masked man!" Char challenged Evang.

"Never! I shall hide inside this station, and behind my woman's skirts – ouch!" Evang got a smack on the head from Sariko for his last comment. "What? I'm not crazy enough to fight the Red Comet in a Gundam rip-off! Are you?" he asked Sariko.

"Why you – wait! What is this? The thing you are hiding in! It's…"

"It's a space station. Haven't you seen one before? I'm sure you've dropped bigger stuff, but it…." Jemu was cut off by an irate Evang.

"Don't remind him you idiot!"

Too late. Char's mind already made the connection, 'space station small colony, colony huge bomb to be dropped on earth, colony drop fame, fame chicks.' "Ahahahahaha!" Char laughed over the IM. "Hahahahahaahahahahaahahahahahahahaa!"

BOS suddenly spoke up, "We received an e-mail question just now. Shall I read it, before Char goes on to use us as colony drop fodder?"

Jemu nodded, and BOS read aloud, "Dear Space-bozos, in one of your previous episodes, Axel and Lamia were already part of your gang. How come Axel is an enemy now? Yes, before you ask, your ploy to make Axel wear a blonde wig and glasses wasn't much of a disguise, I think you just made him wear it to piss Char off. Good move! Also, where is Lamia now? And are you going to make those Shadow Mirror clowns and their SRW rip-off machines part of your Space Circus? From, Someguy."

"Regarding Axel, it's what is known in the business as a continuity error. As for Lamia, and the rest of the SRW OG2 cast, they're taking short vacation in Waikiki – Kyosuke wanted to go to Vegas to see bunny girls and to gamble, but Task, Britt, and even Tetsuya convinced him to go Waikiki. They argued that a bunny suit is just a tight, low-cut, black, one-piece swimsuit with a bunny headband, which Excellen would be more than happy to wear for him," Jemu answered.

"Provided they don't force poor Zeora to wear it," Evang added, "And as flagship captain of the Earth Anti-Invasion Group, Tetsuya has a lot of pull, though I think he wanted to see Captain Refina Enfield in swimwear. Heck, he must have wanted to see all the women under his command in swimwear, and so does Kyosuke. Maybe."

"You mean they wanted to see the little princess in her swimming attire as well?" Sariko asked, scandalized. "Why, those bunch of pigs!"

"Nah, I think it was only Zengar who wanted to see Princess Shine in her bathing suit. And in my opinion, Zeora belongs in a cow suit – tight, black and white dappled swimsuit, miniature horns on the headband, and a bell dangling from her neck dwon to her – well, you know. For your final question, yes, THEY SHALL BE ASSIMILATED," Jemu finished.

"Are you quite done?" Char asked impatiently.

"Uh, I guess," Evang answered.

"Good. Now I can push your little space colony into the atmosphere and watch the world try to shoot you down before you doom them all. And the chicks will love me because I made headlines again! Just like the old days! Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed everyone aboard the SpaceBar.

With dread, the SpaceBar crew, and the hapless Shadow Mirror people, watched as the Sazabi began to push the station slowly toward the blue Earth.