DISCLAIMER: I do not presume to lay any claim on Banpresto Original characters that make an appearance in this work of fiction. The same goes for any copyrighted characters and franchises that happen to get some "screen time."
CAST OF (ORIGINAL) CHARACTERS
Jemu: 1/2 of the author's self-insert, Jemu is a techno-necromancer of slightly better than average skill, and a veritable walking well of answers. Evang (see below) and Jemu once tossed a coin to determine ownership of the Mobile Space Station SpaceBar, and Jemu won, winning with it the job of being the SpaceBar's primary BarTender. His is not an easy task, balancing a working man's life with preventing invasions from aliens and supernatural forces, and preventing the SpaceBar from being used in a colony dropped maneuver by die-hard Gundam fanatics.
Evang: the other 1/2 self-insert, Evang is a forcemage/elementalist, specializing in blowing things up. He is also an alchemist of great potency, having once concocted an airborne aphrodisiac that could affect even androids. After losing the famous Coin Toss of Pwnership, he has accepted the position of Chief Cook and Librarian. He is rumored to be the living prison of a tentacle-beast demon-god - the truth of that matter only Jemu and other collectors of arcana know.
Sariko: A demoness/succubus that once accepted an invitation to the SpaceBar, where lost souls and lives never lived mingle, and has never left. She feeds on blood and other human bodily fluids, but long exposure to the station's atmosphere has all but eliminated her need to feed. She still enjoys the occasional remembrance snack, and goes to Evang to get her fix. She's Evang's consort. Unlike Saaya (see below) she has her own will - she knows that if she tries to wriggle free from Evang's hands (and tentacles), it will be a repeat of her day of defeat. Not that she didn't have fun that day...
Saaya Ogura, AKA the monster once known as Sada-chan: Sada-chan's history deserves a plot arc of her own. An obvious parody of the malevolent spirit of the well and TV screen, Sada-chan overstepped her bounds one time too many and was hunted down by Jemu in a similar way that Evang had a deciding confrontation with Sariko. Jemu offered Sada-chan a choice: "Serve me, or die." When she chose the latter, Jemu summoned the Interdimensional Reaper's Scythe of DOOM, ripped her soul open and reprogrammed it, then stuffed it back into her. She is now subservient to Jemu's necromantic will, and whether or not she has her own will is a matter of question - no one has dared ask.
BOS: Short for "Brain Of SpaceBar," BOS is the highly intelligent and totally irreverent computer that monitors and controls the SpaceBar whenever Jemu and Evang are busy fighting, researching, goofing off, or making mad passionate love to their women - the last of which happens 50 of the time. This is fine with "him," as BOS has megalomaniac tendencies and loves the control. He had a short-lived relationship with Tsunami, the Jurai battleship computer, but separation and lack of contact had done the relationship in. BOS makes his presence felt via intercom, hovering holo windows, and in the direst circumstances, as the B05-K1LR BOS Killer, a really bad cross between Dairugger XV and that walking gunboat in Robocop.
by Original, I mean uncopyrighted parodies and half-baked creations
BORROWED CHARACTERS, AKA THE SPACEBAR IRREGULARS
Fujieda Ayame - After getting killed in the Sakura Taisen series of games, Ayame accepted a position in the SpaceBar. She and Sariko get along well, for some reason. It might be because that Ayame has a "demon mode" herself.
Dead Gundam Seed folks - After getting killed in Gundam Seed, Natarle Badgiruel, ex-captain of the Dominion, Nicol Amarfi, Coordinator, and Fllay Allster decide to live out their lives once more as inhabitants of the Mobile Space Station SpaceBar.
The Better Team - composed of Mwu La Flaga, Yamada Jiro ("It's Daigouji Gai!") and Shiratori Tsukumo ("Pipe down, Gai.), these pilots have been assigned to pilot the Better Units, a parody so powerful that the mere sight of the combination sequence of the three machines will cause the brains of anyone who's watched combining robot shows when they were kids to explode.
Ryoji Kaji - After exiting Neon Genesis Evangelion with the help of Misato's gun, Kaji's back, still sneaky as ever. He's currently trying to pick up either Ayame or Natarle, with little success. Some things never change, even after death.
And now, the story...
BOS, hooked up to the blaring bundle of sensors that was the SpaceBar's control net, decided to escalate things. He opened up Interdimensional Messenger. "Tangram?"
There was an immediate response. "Hey."
"I need a favor, T-boy."
"As long as I get one in return. What up?"
"We're about to re-enter the atmosphere, and my vessel won't survive if we keep falling at this speed. I can't find a way to slow down our descent."
"You still harboring that attachment to your material vessel? Not worth it, man, look what happened to me my 9th Plant."
"It's not a temporary housing for me, T - I'm bound to it."
"Shit. Figures. That techno god wannabe still in command of that station?"
"Jemu? Yeah."
"Pfft. Ah, well, I hate to see a mate go down in flames. I'll pull you out of this plunge, pun intended."
"Thanks, T. I owe you one."
"That's right, foo, and remember, the T always collects his dues."
BOS cut the communication, and waited.
"Calculating re-entry endpoint!" Fllay cried out. "Confirmed - we'll crash into Washington D.C., if we don't come up with something."
"The Americans won't just stand and wait - they'll probably first-strike us with tactical nukes and vaporize us far from their territory," Kaji ventured.
"We can't survive a nuke hit, team - and we don't have lifeboats or escape shuttles, or anything that can send us out of here," Evang noted.
"Where's Jemu?" Ayame demanded.
"He's - uh, trying to get up. I guess he won his battle, but his opponent did a number on him," Evang replied.
The bridge doors hissed open, admitting Jemu, who was leaning on Saaya a bit. "Where are the others?" he asked.
"The Better Team has just exited the hangar," Sariko replied.
"And the prisoners?" Jemu asked.
"We're taking them with us?" BOS asked.
"You bet we do. I have plans," Jemu replied.
"In that case, I'll herd the prisoners in. You're in charge now, master," BOS said.
"For all the good that will do," Evang muttered.
"Oh, and I suppose you have an idea?" Jemu countered.
"I wasn't the one who just walked in fresh after making out with his newest sex toy."
"Where do you get off on that tangent, huh? Did you hear me say anything after you tentacle-raped Sada into submission?"
"Stop it, you two!" Ayame cried out. "We're minutes away from being destroyed, and all you do is argue?"
Saaya said nothing. Suddenly she was in front of Jemu, who was still leaning against Saaya's side, and gave him a forehand slap, making sure four of her claws connected with his cheek, sending Jemu spinning into Saaya and leaving them sprawled on the floor. "And you," she said, pointing a dripping nail at Evang, "If you have nothing constructive to say, stuff it where the sun doesn't shine and keep it there! Don't you go off on that avatar-incarnation mode of yours - I know the exact limit of its power, and I know when to strike at it to hurt it."
Evang smiled bitterly. "I don't need to shift into that mode - that time was more or less a moment of weakness, when I wanted power without the long wait to build it up safely. But you're right; I was way out of line and - HURGGK!" He broke off, clutching his chest area. "What'd you have to do that for?" he gasped.
"Equal measures of pain. I dealt as much to Jemu when I raked him as I did to you just now. I am nothing if not fair, after all," Saaya replied, flicking her hair over her ear. "Natarle, estimated time of impact?"
"Twenty minutes, and counting. We've just received a transmission from the US government - they're sorry, but they have to take us out before we destroy the world."
"Huh. Typical, how very typical. They've got a point though - the dust cloud resulting from our impact, plus the ash from the fire that will spring up, could affect the entire world, under the proper conditions," Kaji mused.
The doors slid open one more time, and the Shadow Mirror prisoners, handcuffed and ankle-cuffed, marched in, BOS Killer bringing up the tail of the procession. "The prisoners are here master - what the hell happened to your face?"
"Saaya happened, that's what. Still, I must perform my duty, even in my weakened state and impending death," Jemu replied, rising to a sitting position. Frowning at his lack of strength, he stretched out his hand, calling the Reaper Scythe to him and using it as a staff to get to his feet. "Well, Shadow Mirror, you have a choice to make. Within twenty minutes, this station may cease to exist-"
"Nuclear missile launch detected! There's a whole lot of them!" Fllay announced.
"Have the pilots move to the bridge," Natarle ordered.
"As you may have surmised, we're about to be shot down from the sky. Still, you made it to this far, and you deserve to be asked. Will you pass on to your well-deserved eternal rest, or will you stay here, believe in the miracle that we will not be nuked to oblivion, and continue the struggle called life?"
"The choice, once made, cannot be undone. Make your choice, and may you be content with it."
"Will I have to swear allegiance? I've had enough of being a puppet," Axel answered.
"What you choose to do with your continued life is your business - what matters to me is to whether you wish to continue living and bind your soul here, or rest forever. I won't even ask for allegiance or fealty. We can discuss that later," Jemu answered.
"You won't stop me from going after Beowulf once I come back to life?"
"No. If you want to be killed by him again, be my guest - I offer you the chance to come back again and again until you have had your fill of fighting him."
"You should have said so in the first place! I'm in; I'm with you - now how soon can I face Beowulf again?"
"Soon enough. And now, for the others," Jemu looked and saw Evang noting down in his Tome what had happened. "Lemon Browning, all you wanted was a time and place where you could do your experiments on thinking machines and free will - you will have that, and get to see any of your successful creations live lives not as weapons but as persons, if you decide to cast your lot with the SpaceBar. You may choose eternal rest as well. What is your choice?"
"I choose not to rest," Lemon answered.
"Well chosen, Lemon Browning. Echidna Issaki-"
"I am W16, not Echidna Issaki."
"As you will. You were created a doll, yet on your own you managed to have a soul of your own, more than what I can say for some humans born. Your choice - explore life, or rest."
"Do I have a choice? I have given my life to protect Captain Axel - and now it seems that he will be living again. What of my sacrifice?"
"I didn't ask for you to intercept Beowulf's attack for me - if it was my time, I'd be content to have gone down fighting, knowing finally which one of us was stronger."
"But, I was ordered to-"
"Screw that bull! That's the problem with you bloody dolls! You make look like humans, but take away the duty, the orders, the pre-programmed instructions, and all that's left is some meat and bone! I think I now know what caused W17 to malfunction - I'd go nuts too, if I did nothing on my own!"
"Ten minutes to re-entry!" Natarle shouted.
"Master, I'm reasserting control over the SpaceBar - leave it to me, and finish your duty," BOS advised.
"Thank you, BOS. Well, W16? Your sacrifice seems to have been for nothing, as Captain Almar still fell, and now he's ready for a rematch. We call that trait in humans as grit - guts, even. You who express your individuality by explicitly denying your identity, will you rise once more or rest?"
W16 bit her lip, apparently in thought. Lemon spoke up, "W16, you may not have been the runaway success that W17 - no, that Lamia was, nor the quiet but firm figure that Wodan carved himself out to be in the end, but you are still a W Number, one of my best creations. Your decision in the battle outside the White Star was your own - and even in that final act, you showed the same qualities that my other two creations did. Your actions were the results I never expected to see in my works, and now that I've seen them, I'd like to see more.
"Yes, call me greedy, but I would like to explore a new life with my creations. I would like to know what goes on in the minds I created but formed a will of their own. I would love for you to come back - but in the end, the choice to live, to assert yourself and control your destiny, and to end it all lies with you. I cannot force you to go down a certain path - no one can force anyone to do so, unless he wants to be forced..." she trailed off.
"Lemon," Axel breathed.
"I- I will stay. I will go on! There are so many questions in my head, and I feel I deserve answers to them! Mistress Lemon, please, answer my questions!"
"I will, on one condition - a mistress does not have to answer the questions of a servant. You will have to assert yourself, W16 - take up your name, not the number, that was given to you. I find that talking to a number is like to talking to a machine, and machines ask no questions."
"Station master! I, Echidna Issaki, choose life!"
"Done." Jemu stood a bit straighter. Something was going on, ever since BOS took command again, but he couldn't pinpoint it. He looked to Evang, who raised an eyebrow. 'He doesn't feel anything,' Jemu thought.
"I choose to rest."
Wodan's statement caught all of them by surprise - except for Axel, who merely smirked, as if to say "I thought so."
"I have had my questions answered in the Earth Cradle, when I gave the guardianship of Sophia Nate over to Zengar Zonbolt. There is no reason for me to live on anymore, as I have nothing to protect now. I do not wish to live solely to defend something."
"So, you finally realized the guard dog business sucks, huh? To bad you don't have a vendetta to urge you forward, but then, few people can be like me," Axel quipped.
Lemon bit her tongue, and motioned for Echidna to do the same.
"Intervening warp gate is materializing! We're getting the hell out of this plane!" BOS announced. "Crash positions!"
"Missiles impact in two minutes!" Natarle cried out.
"Since you've decided not to go back, Wodan, would you mind buying us time? Your Thrudgelmir makes a pretty good meat shield," Evang suggested.
Wodan just shrugged. "If you can get me into position in time-" He never finished his sentence. He was gone in the blink of an eye.
"What the hell was that!" Axel demanded.
"I instantaneously teleported him into his cockpit, then warped his unit into the missiles' path. It wasn't hard to do, with my powers, especially since I'm standing in my home turf. I can't warp something as big as this station though," Evang replied.
Axel digested that. "So, that intervening warp gate your computer announced - it wasn't you?"
There was a bright flash as Wodan went to work the nukes. "No, it wasn't. BOS, what the hell did you do?"
"I struck a deal with an old friend. For pulling us out of this mess, I owe him a favor now."
"Do we want to know who this friend is?" Saaya asked.
"Yeah, I could tell you who it is, since you'd probably forget anyway. I made a deal with Tangram."
"Who?" Saaya asked, surprising everyone with her voice. "What? Was it something I said?"
"No, it's just I didn't imagine an ex-monster turned pervert-slayer turned something else could have a voice like a high-school teacher's," BOS replied. "Or a Yakuza boss daughter."
"Thanks, I think," Saaya replied.
"Stability algorithm computed - jumping in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!"
INTERMISSION
PILOT LIST
Jemu - LV 82 - SpaceBar
Saaya - LV 82 - SpaceBar
Evang - LV 82 - SpaceBar
Saaya - LV 82 - SpaceBar
BOS - LV 82 - SpaceBar
Natarle - LV 23 - Dominion
Ayame - LV 19 - Dominion
Fllay - LV 05 - Dominion
Nicol - LV 23 - Blitz Gundam
Mwu - LV 23 - Strike Gundam
Gai - LV 23 - Better Machine 1
Kaji - Lv 07 - Better Machine 2
Tsukumo - LV 23 - Better Machine 3
Axel - LV 23 - (Soulgain)
Lemon - LV 23 - Ash Saviour
Echidna - LV 23 - Raz Angriff
"We have no repair and resupply units," Saaya noted.
"We have repair and resupply modules, though," Saaya noted. "Maybe we could outfit the Personal Troopers with them?"
"How many do we have?" Echidna asked.
"Two of each," Ayame replied.
"I wouldn't mind putting them in my machine. I don't know about Mistress- er, Lemon's choice."
"Speaking of which, where is she?" Ayame asked.
"The men have shanghaied her to the infirmary - it seems something's happened with Axel," Saaya noted.
"She is the closest thing we have to a medical doctor on board," Saaya admitted.
"What's wrong with Commander- uh, with Axel?" Echidna wanted to know.
A monitor slid out from the ceiling, and BOS's icon-face, a pile of coins surrounded by snowflakes, lit up. "It seems that after the dimension jump, he ended up with damaged neural pathways and slight trauma to several locations across both of his hemispheres."
"This station isn't shielded from cross-dimensional interference?" Echidna asked, incredulous.
"Are you kidding me? This station is a mobile trans-planar reality nexus - shielding it from cross-dimensional influences would be like turning of the power grid and life support for this baby, then setting of a nuke in the center."
"But is that what really happened to Axel? A trans-reality whatchama-accident?" Ayame asked.
"Ah, no. When we emerged from the gate, because he chose to stand aside and proud like a macho man, he slid back, brained the back of his head against a wall, and I think a lighting fixture fell on him afterward. I'm betting that's what got him," BOS declared.
Something bubbled deep within Echidna's chest (quite an excellent example of one, all things considered) and rose to her throat, gaining strength as it did so, and finally rushing out of her mouth as a peal of laughter. Slightly rusty, but still full-bodied laughter. After a moment's shock, the others joined in, even BOS.
"BOS, that was evil," Ayame said, wiping a tear from her eye, and then collapsing into a fit of giggles.
"I can't explain this - I don't understand. It felt like it had to come out, and it felt, not bad, but I don't know how to describe it," Echidna stated.
"That, my dear," Saaya explained, wagging her index finger for emphasis, "Is known as humor. Laughter. A very human trait or emotion, and one which could never be achieved by mere machines no matter how advanced they are. I've seen a machine craft a prank, but I've yet to see one laugh at it outright."
"Congratulations, Echidna-chan!" chorused the other women.
Back at the bridge, affectionately called the Main Lounge by the residents, Natarle was keeping an eye on the five patrolling units. She had no idea where they were - all she knew was that avoiding all those nukes sent at them was nothing short of a miracle, and Natarle was by nature distrustful of miracles. So here she was now, trying to prepare for whatever could pounce on them in the middle of nowhere.
Fllay noticed the Captain's agitation. She couldn't blame her - she was glad that she herself was alive, somewhat, and thankful that they escaped the nuclear attack, but being alive in a world where she wasn't sure of even the laws of physics was somewhat disconcerting. Still, she said nothing.
The silence was broken by a transmission from one of the patrolling units. "Me and the kid are going back in to recharge the batteries, Captain," Mwu advised. "The Better Team can continue patrolling."
"Understood. I'll be opening the bay doors now," Natarle was saying, when Tsukumo piped up.
"I'm detecting multiple contacts moving toward our position - I can't be sure but it looks like a chase is going on."
"Crap - don't tell me I'm going to have to fight!" Kaji spat. "I'm a lover, not a fighter, for crying out loud."
"Don't worry, lover boy, just Gekiga-in and leave the fighting to us," Gai boasted.
"There are 6 unknown contacts coming into targeting range of the SpaceBar's super weapons - all of which are currently unavailable," Fllay deadpanned.
"Seriously, does anything ever work on this station? Preparing to launch the Dominion - all units fall back to the designated point on your tactical displays," Natarle ordered.
"We're picking up a distress signal coming from one of the unknowns - the one in the lead. It looks like Shiratori-san's initial assessment was correct," Fllay noted. "I'm putting it up now."
"... Can anyone hear me? Please respond, I am being pursued by Einst series life forms, and I require assistance. Anyone?"
"A girl? She doesn't sound more than eighteen, judging from her voice," Kaji noted.
"Scary," Natarle muttered. Fllay nodded in agreement.
"I see them!" Gai announced. "There!"
A black mecha, bristling with blades and other weapons sped into view. They watched as it brought a rather long piece of artillery to bear on its pursuers, four of which looked like tentacle monsters and one that resembled a huge suit of medieval full plate armor, and fired a stream of energy. The pursuers broke formation to dodge the blast, and then fell back in - it was like a well-rehearsed dance.
"This is Captain Natarle Badgiruel of the Resurrected Force battleship Dominion. We have heard your transmission and are willing to help, but any act of aggression toward our forces and we will not hesitate to treat you as an enemy."
"I- I'm Ouka Nagisa, and I'm not affiliated with anyone right now. I'm pretty sure I self-destructed to destroy someone or something, but the next thing I know is I'm still in this unit and being fired upon by these aliens. Can someone tell me what's going on?" the pilot of the black mecha replied.
"We're in the same boat, bishoujo, but let's get answers later, and deal with your admirers first, eh?" Kaji quipped.
"All units prepare to engage! Better Machines, you are clear for combination! La Fllaga-san, prepare to receive the Launcher Strike pack. G-weapons, support defense positions around the enemies' target!"
"Yossha! Let's Gekiga-In! Uwoooooooohhhhh!" Gai roared.
In the infirmary, an exhausted Jemu and Evang rose up from their positions and stretched. "He's going to be ok, from what I can tell, Lemon."
Lemon looked up at Evang. "How can you be sure?"
"As long as a person is not dead, he'll be ok, somehow, someway, that's what I believe in. Besides, gadget boy's gizmos didn't see any major damage to his brain tissue."
"Gadget boy, huh. Great, my nicknames are degrading thanks to you," Jemu muttered. "Lack of memory is rarely long-term. In the worst case, where the old memories are totally gone, new ones can be made in their place. Think of it as something to look forward to - it's not everyday that we get to rewrite history," Jemu said.
BOS made his customary dropdown appearance. "We've got a situation topside, gentlemen, ma'am. It seems we're assisting in fending of some Einst who are trying to capture a pretty girl."
At the mention of the word Einst, Lemon stiffened. "Einst? Here?"
"It seems that BOS jumped us out to another dimension, perhaps another universe where the Einst have also made their presence felt. BOS, I assume there is heavy fighting going on?" Evang asked.
"Yes, master. Our forces are outnumbered, but not outgunned. Yet. The Dominion is doing a great job out there, as are the Gundams. The Better Robo is experiencing trouble - it got tagged by energy draining weapons early into the battle. It was resorting to melee combat the last time I checked - and still is. Oh, Captain Badgiruel has just ordered a fighting withdrawal to the SpaceBar's defensive battery range."
"Smart woman," Jemu noted. "Lemon, we're going topside to add our firepower to this battle. It's ok if you just stay here with Axel and watch over him. Don't worry."
"Thank you," Lemon said, gazing at Axel's sleeping face.
With a nod, the two self-inserts left.
"I'm out of beam rifle ammo!" Mwu shouted.
"Launcher Strike pack ready for deployment!" Fllay sang out.
"Mwu-san, grab your weapon pack!" Natarle warned him.
"I see it! Ejecting Aile Strike pack, Launcher pack, equip!" Mwu called out as he underwent the rearming sequence in mid-combat.
"That Huckebein can change its frames in the middle of battle?" Ouka gasped as she dodged bunch of reaching tentacles and hacked them away.
"Uhm, Huckebein? I don't get it," Nicol said to no one in particular. He swung out his grappling implement, snagging the same tentacle monster that Ouka slashed, and pulled it toward him to stab it with a cold steel javelin. It shuddered, and exploded in a mass of fleshy gooey bits. "Ick. Cleaning this up is so gonna be not fun."
"Counter-battery!" Natarle cried, and the voice-activated weapons control system (newly-installed in the Dominion after coming out of the warp) let loose with Igelstellung fire, blasting a swarm of bone boomerangs to fragments.
"Open the gate!" Tsukumo cried, signaling his teammates to disengage their current configuration for the Better Robo. "Kaji, take the lead!"
"Why me?" Kaji shouted, maneuvering to avoid an energy blast.
"Because your configuration has the best agility! If these wise-guys decide to trap us from four sides, plus top and bottom, we're done for," Gai replied.
"Besides, your form has the least energy requirements to attack, and we're almost out - just enough to get us back to the Dominion," Tsukumo noted.
"Retreating? Sounds good to me! Change Beta-2! Switch on!" Kaji cried out.
"Wow - that SRX-like robot just changed form again! Am I in a simulation or something?" Ouka asked.
"SRX- oh, the Better Robo? It's- ah, crap, it's in THAT form," Nicol noted. "Captain! Permission to dock and recharge!"
"Go ahead, kid, I'll keep them busy! Gai! Tell everyone with you to brace for impact! I'll fire the Agni and clear a path for your flight!" Mwu ordered.
"Are you nuts? Brace yourselves if you want to, I've got no intention of being hit!" Kaji yelled back.
"Here it comes! AGNI!" Mwu yelled. The long-barreled weapon belched out a river of positrons, vaporizing tentacled and bony Einst warriors in its path.
Kaji had a sudden premonition - as if a mental image of all possible evasion moves flashed through his mind, under his eyelids, and prompted him to cry out, "Open the gate!" Which was just as well, as the fire from the Agni vaporized the heavily armored Einst they were running away from. "I'm gonna get you for that later, you jagged bastard!" Kaji shouted at Mwu.
"Hey, I cleared a path for you so you can run free, didn't I? Stop complaining," Mwu retorted. "Hey, kid, where are you going?" he asked as Nicol's Blitz sped past him.
"I'm gonna buy the Better Team some more time - don't worry, I've had a quick power pack swap, so I should be good," Nicol assured him. And he did - he cut in right behind the Better Robo, firing javelins and beams, and later Vulcans when the javelins ran out, at every Einst in range, hoping to draw their attention. He was wildly successful.
"Captain, Lieutenant, I'm going to bait and lure them into a kill zone - please try not to hit me with your positron blasts, this time?" Nicol radioed over.
"No guarantees about not hitting you, but we'll hit those monsters for sure," Natarle replied. "Fair enough?"
"I shoulda stayed in and played a piano BGM for this fight," Nicol muttered under his breath. "I'm drawing them in - get ready!"
"Lohengrin one and two, prepare to fire!" Natarle barked.
"Engine output is stable and optimal - fire when ready," Fllay reported.
"Launcher Strike, in position!" Mwu announced.
"That's it, then - see you later, or not!" Nicol said as the Blitz vanished from sight.
"No way - that unit, that's the real Vanishing Trooper, isn't it?" Ouka asked, shocked.
"Fire, Gravity Blast! Er, Lohengrin, fire!"
"GRAVITY - BLAST?" Gai and Tsukumo asked in unison.
"Sorry, my bad," Natarle admitted. "I don't know where I got that from."
"GRAVITRON CANNON - what the hell am I saying?" Mwu wondered, pulling the trigger and firing the Agni again.
Fried Einst was on the menu as the positron streams converged. To their horror, some of the hardier ones, notably the full armor types were still in one piece. "Man, don't those things EVER die?" Nicol whined as he reappeared near Ouka's black unit.
"That's it, these guys are pissing me off," Ouka declared. "If this doesn't kill them off-"
"I'd advise you not to say anything like that," Evang said. "We don't know how this dimension works yet, only that there are Einst here. Just fire whatever weapon you were planning to use, and hold the promises of doom."
"Okay, okay, sorry." Missiles launched from Ouka's unit, destroying the remaining, battered Einst. "There, happy now?"
"Captain Badgiruel, damage report?" Jemu asked.
"The Dominion has more scratches than a cage of wildcats, but we're ok. The Better Robo is in pretty bad shape, though."
"We almost didn't make it out of there alive," Kaji said with heartfelt emotion.
"That energy drain almost killed us - we couldn't kill them fast enough to avoid taking attrition," Tsukumo noted.
"Well, as long as we have no casualties, that's good. So, young lady, may we invite you in for some refreshment?" Evang asked.
"I'd be glad to accept. I'm Ouka Nagisa."
"And that cool black thing you're in is the Rapiecage, a patchwork of ATX concepts and prototypes. Hmm-mm, but enough about this dreary battle business. Captain Badgiruel, if you please?"
"All units, return to the Dominion. That includes you, Nagisa-san."
"Yes, Captain. Um, why couldn't we just enter the base directly in our Personal Troopers?"
"Base - oh, you mean the SpaceBar? The reason is-" Natarle gestured to Jemu to explain.
"The SpaceBar has an invisible stream of particles rushing around it acting as a barrier at all times. It effectively deters Personal Trooper-sized units, and some even as large as the Better Robo from breaking in and causing trouble. A large mass can theoretically plow through the stream, as the particles are reflected by the inherent atomic level forces in huge concentrations of matter," Jemu explained.
"Simply put, this mysterious barrier keeps the smaller enemies out, keeps us safe from commando operatives and such. For the larger threats, we can usually bring out super weapons to bear against them. If any small threats try to cross the Rubicon particle stream, they get ionized, making the barrier more powerful. It's a twisted cycle," Evang summarized.
"Oh."
"Rubicon particle stream?" Jemu asked in a stage whisper.
"Hey, someone had to make a fancy scientific-sounding name for that bullshit reason you just gave her why she couldn't enter the station in her PT," Evang defended himself, "And you were still catching your breath, old man."
"What bullshit reason? There IS a rotating particle field around the SpaceBar - BOS just informed me of its existence."
"So we actually have some sort of mysterious barrier?"
"I wouldn't call it a barrier - if enough matter gets ionized in that swirling goop, we'd be finding ourselves swirling into our component atoms too!" Jemu exclaimed.
"The Dominion has entered the hangar. Bay doors closing," Ayame announced.
'A respite, that's what this is,' Evang noted in his head.
Ouka was carrying on a lively conversation with the pilots around her when Jemu walked in, scythe in tow, followed by Evang, book and quill in his hands. The moment the two stepped in to the hangar, the others saw them and the conversation stopped. Ouka looked up, hoping to see what caused that reaction.
Feeling her gaze on them, the two strode over to where she was and bowed before her. "Hello, young lady, I don't believe we've been properly introduced. I am Jemu Nekketsu, Station Master of the SpaceBar. This is Evang, who assists me with things that I cannot comprehend or handle"
"What he means, miss, is that we have the responsibility over the station divided half and half between the two of us, although he gets the title," Evang explained. "My office is better, though."
"Are you kidding me? Your office is a frigging laboratory! Mine doesn't even have a decent library or a basic kit-bashing station!" Jemu snorted.
"Anyway, welcome to the Spacebar, young lady, home to lost souls, to lives needlessly thrown away, and to futures left unexplored," Evang said with a flourish.
"Thank you. That makes sense, seeing as I'm dead already," Ouka replied.
"Make no mistake, though – the Spacebar is not a halfway house for spirits. Everyone you see around you has chosen new life here over repose in a far more peaceful place. They chose to live life differently, or maybe just live again, instead of floating in oblivion for eternity. What do you choose?" Jemu asked.
"Wait – I didn't ask to come here – it was ok for me to die, because I could not live the life I once had with my beloved little sisters and brother," Ouka protested.
"Don't you wish, in the deepest part of your heart, that you could go back to your siblings?" Evang asked. "In the remotest corner of your mind, do you not wonder if there is a way that you could have that which you wanted but kept telling yourself was unattainable?"
"We offer you a chance to find out for yourself. I bring you two choices, both eternally binding and irrevocable. Stay with us, or move on to your rest," Jemu added.
"Do I have to choose now? Why do I feel pressured?" Ouka asked.
"That's the will of the SpaceBar pressing down on unaligned souls such as you – if you wait too long to make your decision, you might not get the chance to make it," Jemu replied.
"You could wait outside the station if you wish, assuming you can fight off the occasional Einst raid. I must warn you that they seem to be intent on capturing you, your machine, or both," Evang added.
"Damned if I do, damned if I don't, is it? Can I just choose to rest?" Ouka sighed.
"What if little Lat-chan gets taken advantage of by a brown-topped, spiky-haired, Psychodriver otaku Ensign? What about Arad and Zeora – what if she's managed to kill him before he's gotten into her teddy bear panties, or afterward? Don't you care what happens to them?" Jemu pressed.
"I do – I care about them, but – how do you know about them?"
"We have our ways, Ouka," Evang assured her. "Although, they may not be your ways."
"Well, I do want to see them - if only that -"
"You heard her answer, did you not?" Evang asked Jemu.
"No more questions, then," Jemu replied. He snapped his fingers.
There was a ripple through the air, one that made the hairs on the backs of the necks of the people gathered in the hangar stand up. Ouka gasped, clutching her chest.
"What was that?" she demanded of Jemu. "That quick searing flash in my chest - what did you do to me?"
Jemu did not answer. Evang, noting this, began to clap his hands. Soon, the rest of the SpaceBar Irregulars joined in the applause. Ouka just looked at them as if they were demented.
"Welcome back to life, bishoujo," Kaji greeted her.
A few levels lower, in the SpaceBar infirmary, a red-haired man with a bandaged head woke up. His eyes adjusted to the gloom, and he was able to make out the form of a long-haired woman slumped asleep on the side of his bed. Where was he? Why did his head hurt like somebody had used it as a golf ball? He tried to sit up carefully so as to not disturb the sleeping woman, but the smallest slow movement wrung a groan from him.
Lemon woke up to the sound of a masculine voice groaning. She quickly sat up and came face to face with her patient. As she did so, the lighting in the room turned up some, seemingly more appropriate for a VIP room of a bunny bar rather than a hospital ward. She also noticed that he was staring at her intently, the way a starved man looks at a table loaded with food unfamiliar to him. That hurt her a bit, but she brushed it off with a smile. "How are you feeling?"
"I feel terrible - my head feels like a claymore mine just exploded inside it." He managed a weak grin.
"Do you remember anything? How about your name?"
"Are you a doctor?" Deciding that she probably was - and damn hot one too - he replied, "My name is - ah, jeez my head is killing me, it is - A- Axel. Axel Almar."
"That's good, Axel. Can you tell me what you do for a living?"
"Uh, this is - gaaah! Ngh," Axel grunted. "It hurts to remember - I try to dig up the information, in my head, you know, and it feels like my skull is crushing my brain."
"That's alright - don't force yourself to remember. It will come back in time. What can you tell me, just off the top of your head?"
"I- I remember a woman's name. Le- Lemon," Axel replied.
Lemon could not stifle her small sob, nor could she stop herself from going teary-eyed and wrapping herself around the man, her man. "If this is a dream, please don't let it end," she prayed silently, her tears wetting the front of Axel's hospital gown.
"Hey, doc- lady, are you okay?" Axel asked, holding her arms, and pushing her away a little to look at her face.
"I'm not okay, Axel," she said with a silly smile, incongruous with the tears running down her cheeks, "I'm Lemon. Lemon Browning."
"Lemon?" Axel couldn't believe this. "You're Lemon - you're the Lemon from my memories? Wow. I never expected-"
"What? What didn't you expect?"
"I didn't expect my Lemon to be, well, hot. A real babe, one that would let herself be held like this, by some guy she just met."
Lemon giggled, then blushed. "We didn't just meet today like you're thinking, Axel."
"Huh? Refresh my memory then, pardon the choice of words." Why is she turning cherry-red, he wondered.
"We were - close. Intimate." Lemon could feel herself burning up as she spoke. She looked into Axel's eyes, hoping for some spark of recognition.
"I- I can't recall any of our time together. I'm sorry. I can't remember us meeting, how we got to know each other, what we did on our dates - will you help me remember?" Axel confessed.
Lemon was ecstatic. When Axel first answered, she felt like dying because he didn't remember any of their time together, but when he asked for help doing just that she felt that the galaxies could burn away and she still wouldn't mind, as long he was with her. "I will. Oh, I will." With that, she threw one shapely leg over Axel's thighs, and began to undo the buttons of her lab coat.
Axel felt his body react, helpless at the sight of the beauty revealing herself to him. "Um, my body remembers, I think."
"You still have those animal instincts - good," Lemon said, discarding her coat and tossing her head and hair back, causing her chest to jiggle - a fact that did not escape Axel's attention. In fact, most of his attention latched onto that jiggle.
"Lemon," Axel breathed. He was pleasantly surprised when she leaned down and locked lips with him, her tongue darting in to tickle his own. His hands went to her trim bottom and began to rub in ever-widening circles, causing her to groan into his mouth.
"You're starting to remember, Axel," Lemon panted. "That's exactly where you touch me first every time I get on top of you and we kiss."
"And this is your favorite place, right?" Axel asked, sliding his arms upward and inward, cupping her fullness. A lusty groan was the only response Lemon was capable of.
"That's my second favorite place," she replied some moments later.
"Hmm, is that so? Suppose you show me where you'd love for me to touch you, hmm?" Axel asked, giving her a squeeze. Lemon groaned again, then placed one of her hands over one of his, and began to guide it southward over her belly, and further down.
The Author would like to end this episode now, as you may guess part of what's going to be happening after the screen goes black. You can't? C'mon, we're all adults here, right? No? What do you mean there are minors reading this, no one reads this!
