Hatori Shuts (Someone) up By Lyell

(I CAN'T BELIVE YOU PEOPLE! ONLY 1 REVIEW! 2 FOR THE LAST AND NONE FOR THE CHAPTER BEFORE IT! You are so lucky I decided to scrap my resolution of 'over 5 reviews' on this one. And I was convinced to make the chapter long! What the heck was I thinking!)

Aya sat in Shigure's house wrapped in a blanket and sipping tea. His brother and Kyo were both doing their best to look away, embarrassed blushes on their cheeks while Tohru sat opposite, riveted in the story Aya was telling them.

Flashback
"Come on, Hari!" A young Ayame bounced beside his friend. "It'll be fun!"
"No." Was all Hatori said as he walked determinedly away from Aya and into his college building to be jumped by Shigure.
"Awww!" The dog pouted as he grabbed one of the dragons arms and he and Aya walked with him. "All you would need is a tux!"
'A tux?' Hatori stopped to look at his cousins suspiciously.
"I would supply the rest!" Ayame chirruped, looking all the more cheerful. "Come on! Please? You know how serious I am about starting my own business. I just need a few good men to help me man my stall."
"That's right." Shigure said.
"Gure has even volunteered to help as well, right?"
"Yosh!" The dog smartly saluted and stood to attention.
Hatori couldn't help but have a sinking feeling in his gut. "Will Shigure need a tux as well?"
"Don't worry!" Shigure smiled. "Aya has all my stuff."
"Hmmm… I guess…"
"Eeeee! Thank you Hari!" Both Zodiac members squealed as they glomphed him.
"But," Hatori said, stopping the celebrations before they attracted a teachers attention. "this is serious, right?"
"Right!" Both coursed.
"So both of you must act seriously, right?"
"Hai!"
Hatori sighed to himself, the sense of dread worsening. "How many days do I have to do this?"
"Just one. After the rush of the first day, me and Gure can manage." Aya smiled charmingly as he and Shigure started Hatori walking again. "We'll call you tomorrow!"
"You're opening the stall tomorrow? That's a bit soon." The future doctor asked with a raised eyebrow. 'What have I got myself into?'
"I'm perfectly serious about my business venture! The sooner it's set up, the sooner I can have a bit of freedom!" Aya struck a pose and Shigure applauded him.
Hatori rolled his eyes and continued into the campus.

The Next day…
Hatori parked his second-hand car around the back of the large building's underground car park. Ayame and Shigure were standing in the parking space they had saved for him, both wearing long smart coats and white gloves reaching past the sleeves, Ayame had a handbag under his arm and Shigure was holding a long black fold of cloth and a black disk the size of a record.
"HARI!" Aya leapt forward as soon as Hatori had shut the door behind him and glomphed the poor guy.
"Aya we have to hurry. Here." Shigure handed Hatori the disk, which popped up to reveal it was a collapsible top hat and shoved, what Hatori reasoned was an opera cape, onto his shoulders.
"Ooo! Ooo! Don't forget this!" Aya opened his bag and took out a simple white triangular mask and gave it to Hatori. "Put this on, Hari."
Hatori looked the mask over and put it on just as his cousins were suddenly behind him and were pushing him through the car park doors and into the building's lift. As the indoor lights blinded him Aya and Shigure steered Hatori out of the lift and into a stall by a set of stairs.
"We're just in time!" Shigure chirruped as Aya looked thrilled. "They're going to open the doors any second!"
"What are…?"
"Look!" Aya said, indicating the stall walls behind Hatori. "Isn't it fabulous!"
'Uh…' Hatori was in shock. "Ayame's?" 'He named the stall after himself?'
"Well at first I thought: hmmm, something classy yet charismatic. Then it hit me! It's perfect! Hahahaha!"
"I helped too." Shigure was heard to whine.
"Of course, oh light of my life. The fact that you were here beside me brought joy and colour to my otherwise dull existence."
"Oh, Aya-chan! Your words full me with love and hope that can never be overcome by any obstacle!"
"Oh Aya!"
"Oh Gure!"
'Oh please.'
"Yosh!" The two boys laughed and gave each other the thumbs up.
Hatori sighed to himself, use to the shenanigans of his kin, and decided to steer the conversation away from anything remotely crazy. "What are we selling?" He asked, examining the pictures displayed on the stall. All of which seemed to be Aya or one of their cousins in weird outfits.
"Oh Hari! You tease!" Shigure laughed as he and Aya began to unbutton their coats to reveal…
'What. The. Hell.' Hatori tried to comprehend what he was seeing. It was hideously mesmerising. He tried to get his mouth to work but only managed an incoherent gargle.
"Ah! Speechless I see!" Aya crowed proudly, both hands straightening the yellow bow at his back.
Shigure nudged him. "Didn't I say this was a good idea."
"It was you're idea?" Hatori strangled out, having rediscovered his tongue.
"Of course!" Shigure said happily as he helped Aya fix a red bow to the back of his head as the other man cantered the blue ribbon choker with a yellow star decorating it. "It's research for my chosen profession."
"Which would be…?" Hatori raised his eyebrow at the two outfits before him. Aya twirled for his pleasure and posed, one hand on his hip while the other was in in the air and his short orange skirt settled, making him look very theatrical.
"Silly Hari." Shigure smiled and told him, with a fond voice and a far off expression in his eyes as he clasped his hands to his chest, careful of the blue bow now there, for dramatic effect. "You know I'm aspiring to join the ranks of the prestigious authors of Japan."
"You mean you're going to write smut." Hatori clarified, sensing the oncoming headache today had just promised him.
"Ooo! Gure! Quick!" Aya fished into his bag just as funnily dressed people began to flood into the stall filled hall and brought out two different coronets.
"Thanks." Shigure put on his respective band, which had a blue stone set in the dip and Aya straightened the top hat he had just put on Hatori's confused head before putting his own circlet on, which had an orange stone set instead of blue.
"This is going to be fabulous!" Aya squealed as he jumped and clapped his hands in pure excitement before confronting two people dressed as robots warriors. "Hi! I'm Sohma Ayame, welcome to my stall!" Several more people dressed in various costumes came to watch Aya introduce his merchandise and hand them fliers. "And as you can see my stall is designed to cater to the faithful fandom of Cosplayers!"
'Oh God!' Hatori shrunk in his seat as the pieces came together in his mind. 'So that's what they were up to. No wonder they didn't tell me anything.'
"As you can see," Ayame continued as Shigure handed out fliers, both ignorant to their cousins silent chagrin. "myself and my colleges are dressed in my handmade creations. As you can tell I am dressed as Aino Minako or Sailor Venus," There Aya did a pose. "and my friend as Mizuro Ami or Sailor Mercury," Now it was Shigure's turn to pose for the clapping crowd. "from the new Anime Sailor Moon!" Both pose together. "And let's not forget the steamy and mysterious Tuxedo Mask!" Ayame and Shigure both grinned evilly as they both gesture to the unfortunate Hari sitting in his chair, oblivious to their meaning.
Hatori looked up as the crowed burst into yells and whistles as everyone seemed to be looking at him. Hatori lifted a hand to fix his hat firmer on his head and earned a few girlish screams, much to his puzzlement and embarrassment.
"Our range include: Battle of the planets, Speed Racer, Shogun Warriors, Candy Candy, Ranma ½, Vampire Hunter D, Violinist Hamel, Voltron, Dragon Ball, Dragon Z, Star Blazers, Macross, GI Joe, Ronin Warriors and anything else you can think of! Custom made for your pleasure. We also do originals, just submit your idea! We supply for girls, boys and even pets. Ayame's store: We bring fantasies to life!" Aya finished as he gave the audience a dazzling smile.
Some girls with face paint approached and Shigure gave them a welcoming grin, leading them to the stall and showed them a book with various snapshots of costumes in it.
Hatori did his best to seem as small as possible in his seat, without attracting anyone's attention, but he couldn't help but feel eyes on him. Not unfriendly eyes. Just… eyes. It was starting to scare the creepy hell out of him.
"Hari!" Aya and Shigure were looking at him expectantly for some reason.
"Well? Stand up and give up a twirl." Aya prompted. So that's what they wanted.
Hatori sighed and swallowed his pride, stood up to give the giggling girls what they want.
"Isn't he a dish!" Aya giggled along with Shigure and the girls.

30 minutes later
Hatori cowered underneath a clothed table along with a two male Ranma's, a Mousse, a Hamel, a couple of swordsmen, a young man in a black school uniform and a young vampire called D. One of the Ranma's giggled nervously and was stifled by a swordsman and the school boy. Hatori tensed and D signalled everyone to be quiet. There was silence as a few girls chatted as they walked past.
"The stairs?" D asked Hatori in a whisper as soon as the girls had gone.
"No." Hatori shuddered.
Mousse whispered. "What's wrong, Tux?"
Hatori tried to relax as he whispered back. "I have… relatives, they have a stall near there."
"Those two hot girls?" Ranma 2 asked.
"I wouldn't mind going there…" The school boy leered to himself.
¬¬ "They're both guys."
Silence.
"Really!" One of the swordsman asked, leaning forward.
"Why do you sound interested?" The other asked.
"It's just interesting that's all. They pull it off so well. Especially that Sailor Venus." He answered back.
"That's my cousin, Ayame." Hatori told them.
"Where'd he get that wig?" D asked.
"…" Hatori sighed. "It's not a wig."
There was a collective. "…"
Hamel, who was on lookout, interrupted the fascinating conversation. "The coast's clear guys!" He said as he lifted the white cloth and carefully poked his head out.
"Lets go!" D commanded as they all rushed out from under the table and under another to crawl across to the next space. After checking the coast was clear the boys all ducked behind a screen wall of a random stall and inched their way across in disciplined silence, like a gorilla unit in to Congo heading into enemy territory. After some near misses caused, by nerves, they made a break for the space under the stairs.
"Damn!" Hatori swore as he looked around.
Everyone looked round. "What is it?" The third swordsman asked.
"Didn't I just say this was too close to my cousins stall?" Hatori growled.
"Yeah, ya did." Hamel said with a grin. "But I don't see you coming up with any good ideas."
"They're your cousins, not ours." Mousse grinned as they all chuckled at Hatori's misfortune.
"Hey guys!" The men collectively jumped as Aya and Shigure seemed to materialise in the middle of their little group.
"So this is where you've been, Hari you naughty boy!" Aya squealed as he glomphed Hamel and a swordsman and Shigure draped himself on D and the school boy.
"I'm glad you've found some friends, Hari!" Shigure giggled.
"Sooo…" Aya sang musically, making Hatori cringe. "Who are you're friends…"
"D." The vampire hunter said, bowing theatrically and holding his cape out.
"Ranma." The two Ranma's said together with a casual wave of their right hands.
"Mousse from Ranma." The boy with thick glasses which he had conveniently put on a string around his neck - because, he told them earlier, it was too much of a bother wearing them and they hurt his eyes - said as he gave the two cross dressers a nod.
"Hamel." The Black and white dressed boy with the pointed hat and kneepads introduced with another nod.
"Fujiname Ryuunosuke from Urusei Yatsura" The school boy said with a small bow.
"And we're Anonymous Swordsmen!" The last three boys said together, with large grins.
"… I don't get it." Hamel said to Ryuunosuke.
"I do!" Aya trilled. "Very inventive!"
"Huh?"
"There are always Anonymous Swordsman. In the background or in a fight off screen." Aya explained with delight.
"I take it this was a group effort?" Shigure said with a laugh.
The swordsman all looked a little embarrassed as the two pretty girls, who they had conveniently forgotten were actually guys, gave them all their attention.
"I can't understand how all you fine looking men are stuck underneath a dreary set of stairs…" Aya said offhandedly.
Shigure looked thoughtful and Hatori shivered at the innocence conveyed in the dog's voice. That was never good…"I wonder what would happen if-"
"There they are!" A girl screamed, interrupting Shigure's monolog. The boys turned in horror as they realized Aya and Shigure had led them out of their hiding spot without noticing and they had been spotted by the fan girls. Some of which held ropes.
"Scatter! Nownownow!" Whoosh! The boys all ran in different directions, hurdling over girls and stall tables like deer as they tried and shake off their screaming girly pursuers.
"This way!" Ryuunosuke said as he held the door to the boy's bathroom open.
"Hai!" The boys all ran into the room and Ryuu shut the door behind them.
"Phew!" One of the Ranma's collapsed on the tiled floor beside Mousse and a random Swordsman.
"That was close." Hamel sighed as he lent against a wall beside Hatori and another Ranma.
The two Ryuu's lent against each other by the stalls where the other boys were seated on the toilet seats. Cover down, of course.
"What now?" A Swordsman asked everyone in general.
"Has anyone noticed Takahashi Rumiko is very popular this year?" Hamel said randomly. Everyone looked at him. "I'm not kidding! Look…" He indicated Ranma and Mousse, then the two Ryuu's. "I'd thought Doragon Bōru Zetto (Dragon Ball Z) or Yoroiden Samurai Torūpā (Ronin Warriors) would have more people."
"Ah, young grasshopper," The second Ranma said sagely. "the answer is simple…"
"When you're done with the mysticism, please." D sighed.
"Err… What was the question?"
Some people gave an aggravated sigh while the others just shook their heads.
"I think all that running has overheated you're brain." The first Ranma said to his companion.
"Or you're dumber than that stupid chimp in Mach Go Go Go." A Ryuunosuke put in.
"Okay, Okay! Geeze!" The second Ranma laughed. "Think about it. It's just that all those costumes are a bit time consuming to make." Everyone was listening. "First you have to get the cardboard boxes, then cut them, when paint them and stick stuff on them. It's just too much hassle."
"But there's a major flaw in you theory, sensei." the third swordsman said. "I've seen a couple of Goku's and Vegeta's wondering around and a Sanada Ryō. Explain that."
"Umm…"
Hatori heaved himself from the wall and dusted his pants off. "I can." He said, straightening his tie.
"Huh?"
Hatori continued in his monotonous voice. "We are too 'hot'."
Everyone was silent for about two seconds before bursting out laughing.
"My dear Hari!" Shigure said as he and Aya both joined in the laughed as they looped their arms around their darling cousin.
"I never thought I'd see the day!" Aya sniffed. "Our Hari has grown up so fast!"
All the men jumped at the appearance of the two 'girls' even with the door guarded.
"How'd you get in!" Mousse asked.
"They're odd that way." Hatori said, shaking his giggling cousins off.
Shigure giggled and flapped his hand. "What's even odder is that you never realized we have another friend."
"Hi! I'm Sohma Aya and you are?" He said striding forward, which looked really weird as he was still wearing his sailor skirt, to shake the new persons hand.
"Oh. This is my sister, also dressed as Ryuuosuke." The first Ryuuosuke said, introducing the second as Aya shook her hand.
"We're twins." She said as she used Aya's hand to help herself up off the floor.
"So you're a girl dressed as a boy who is a girl dressed as a boy?" Shigure asked with a lecherous smile, intrigued.
"I bet you can't say that ten time's fast." The first Ranma bet D.
D shook his head. "You first."
"Matta! So there's a Girl in the Boy's Toilet!" The first Swordsman panicked.
"Yes, yes. We've already established that." His two companions sighed as their friend gave an ecchi grin and stared off into space.
"How is this even perverted?" Hamel asked/demanded.
"It's not. But the possibilities…" Shigure giggled to himself.
"Gure, please." Aya drawled with a sigh and a hair swish, surprising Hatori at his seriousness. "There's a lady present…"
"You're sick." Hamel told the Swordsman, ignoring the other conversation.
"Oh? This coming from someone dressed as a famous womanizer? Would you rather we all do a little naked dance with only a small sign saying 'Don't look' to cover our modesty?" The first Swordsman looked offended.
"Why don't you just say 'balls' like a normal person?" The third Swordsman asked, pinching his friend.
Hamel huffed. "And I'm being called lewd?"
"Gentlemen!" Shigure interrupted, calling their attention. "Please! The matter at hand…?"
"Our lovely young companion here was just telling us how she came to be here, after her flattering views of our modest shop." Aya informed everyone with a laugh.
"Look," Mousse, who had been forgotten until now, pointed out. "no offence or anything, but don't we have an escape to plan?"
"Quite right." Hatori said as he walked forward towards the high windows. "And here it is."
"Wait. You don't expect us to crawl out of those windows, do you?"
"I don't even think I can fit in there." They all muttered to themselves.
"It's this, or running out there and possibly being captured." Hatori told them.
"We could get costumes from our stall." Aya offered helpfully.
"The window." Everyone said at once.
"Well that was a no-brainer." Mousse muttered.
"So it's unanimous." Hamel announced. "Out the toilet window like cowards, it is!"
"Why do you sound proud?" The second Ranma asked.
"Hardly." D corrected, ignoring Ranma 2. "We all agree and it's not like we have a choice."
"Right. Biggest person up first." Hatori instructed.
The third swordsman asked the first Ryuu. "Why Biggest?"
"Because if he can get through, then we all can. Duh." His sister answered for him, rolling her eyes.
D, being the tallest, was up first. "I really don't like this, guys." He said as he was forced to take off his shoulder pads, hat and cape and was now standing on the sink, they weren't even sure would hold him, holding the window open with one hand as he looked down at the others who were crowded around to see if the scheme would actually work. Except for Hatori who was trying to get the other Sohma's out the door as they continued to giggle and make fun of him.
The third swordsman snorted, eager to get under away. "Just go."
"Yeah. We need you to help everyone else when they get through." The second Ranma, who was holding all the clothes, pointed out.
"Oh. Okay…" D frowned as he examined the window then set his shoulders and began to crawl through the narrow space, silently thanking kami he was so thin. About half way through, when his hips and legs were still to go, the occupants of the toilet heard his muffled voice ask. "Um… guys… How do I get down?"
Hamel stepped forward, with an evil gleam in his eye. "That's easy." He said to his friend as he set his feet against the floor by the sink. Shove. "There yah go." He ginned as D's legs disappeared and a crashing thump could be heard.
Mousse whacked Hamel upside the head as the blond giggled to himself. Everyone else tried to hold in their laughter as Hatori frowned as he succeeded in pushing Aya and Shigure out the door and shut it behind them.
"Remember Hari," Shigure yelled through the wood. "Pick us up around 7!"
"Fine." He grumbled, but it seemed his cousins heard him or knew that he agreed, as they skipped off chatting happily.
One of the swordsmen was up next. "Just keep him," Hamel gave an innocent look. "away from my backside."
"Don't worry man. I don't want to go anywhere near that thing."

Hatori was the last to climb the sink as the doors burst open and girls of every anime gender came flooding in. "There's one!" Someone screamed as they flodded over and Hatori did his best to get through the window in time. Friendly hands took his arms and dragged him forward just as too friendly hands had grabbed his legs and began to pull him back.
"Heave!" The boys announced as they did their best not to surrender a comrade. With a immense rip Hatori went flying over the boy's heads and into a convenient stack of cardboard boxes.
"You alright?" Ranma 1 asked as they surrounded the wreckage.
Hatori only grunted as he tried to sit upright and looked himself over. 'Damn.' He growled before ordering the girls, in a very school-teacher voice. "Give me back my pants!"
Only giggling could be heard as a girl sang "I see Eikyou, I see Furansu, I see Mamoru-kun's suteteko!" More girly laughter could be heard along with the clicking of what must be camera's.
"It's a rented suit!" Hamel yelled at the girls.
Soon a bundle of black material flew through the air and landed smack on Mousses head.
"Eww, man!" Mousse quickly grabbed the garment and threw it to the fallen, and thoroughly embarrassed, seahorse.
"Let's get out of here." One of the boys muttered as they all went there separate ways, each waving goodbye to their temporary comrades in trauma.
End Flashback

"And that's the story." Aya wrapped up, finishing his drink.
"What Does That Have To Do With Anything?" Yuki cried.
"Well, if you paying attention, little brother." Aya said seriously as he stood regally up, looking like some old roman senator in his blanket. "You would realise that, no matter what, you will always find friendship in the face of adversity."
"So why are you wearing that thing!" Kyo barked pointing out.
"Oh? This?" Aya let his robe fall to twirl and reveal his freshly ironed orange sailor seifuku. "I just felt like wearing it! Don't I look fine! Hahahaha!"
"Um… Oh yes, Ayame-san." Tohru assured him.
"Fine? I'd say weird." Yuki muttered to himself as he and Tohru ignored Kyo's background ranting.
"Aya-chan!" Shigure sang as he waltzed into the room in a swirl of colour. "How do I look?"
"Aaaah! Gure! We match!" Aya exclaimed as both men hugged each other and jumped around in a circle with joy.
Yuki turned and hid his head in his hands. 'Gods! I'm so embarrassed!'
'Where the hell did they get all this fucking glitter from?' Kyo wondered as he brushed some of the offending glitter from his shirt.
There was a sound from the door, thankfully, distracting the younger members of the room.
"Ah! Hari's here!" Shigure and Aya both bounded forward as the living room door opened and Hatori stood with his case in hand and with Hatsuharu behind him.
"Hari! Hari!" Aya chanted as they ran for the door.
They came to a halt before the emotionless dragon. "It's that time of year again, Hari! I've still got that hat and I'm sure Aya-chan's still got the cape!" Shigure sang.
Hatori stood perfectly still, looking only into Shigure's helpfully smiling face as Aya jigged around them.
"No." He said flatly, drew back his fist and punched Shigure before turning around to storm past Haru and out of the house.
"Gure!" Aya knelt beside the floored Shigure.
"Shigure-san!" Tohru was there in an instant, "I'll go get ice!" only to get up and rush away again and freak out in the kitchen.
"Serves that idiot right." Kyo snorted and Yuki nodded, obliged to agree.
Haru lightly poked Shigure with a foot as Tohru came running back with a packed of frozen peas, "Uh… I'm sorry I couldn't find anything to put the ice in so… uhhh… pleaseusethis!" and held them out for Aya to take.
"Hahaha! It's alright, Tohru-kun." Shigure laughed, his head now in Aya's lap as he took the peas and placed them over his eye. "I really should have known better. Last year Hari said if we asked him to go again he would punch us. Hahaha!"
"We ask Hari ever year." Aya sniffed as he ran his fingers through Shigure's hair.
"And every year he say's no." Shigure sighed.
"I'll go." Hatsuharu said blankly.
"Ooo! Yes! Lets make a day of it, Gure! I have the perfect costume for Yuki-chan!" Aya clapped his hands, signalling that it was decided.
"WHO SAID I WAS GOING TO GO?"
"Hahahaha!"
"Oh no! I've made Yun-yun's angry! Hahaha! Look Gure! I have a new nickname for Yuki! Kakeru-kun told me it! Yun-yun! Yun-yun!"
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!"
"Oh dear… Uh…"
"Feh. You're all fucking nuts if you think I'm gonna go to some stupid Manga Con, dressed as some Manga character!"
"So you would go if you weren't dressed up?"
"NO DAMN IT!"
"Don't worry! I've got the perfect outfit for you Kyonkichi! Hahaha!"

Hatori sighed as he got up from his seat on the porch and dusted his trousers off. It looked like Shigure's phone call was a ruse and no one was really hurt after all. Taking out a cigarette and lighting up he got off the porch and decided to have a nice stroll, and a smoke, on the way back to the car.

END

Thanks to the only reviewer we had last chapter Kinoshita Kristanite! Yeah! Thank You! (Hands Kinoshita Kristanite a Ren voodoo doll with really long nasty pins) Go wild!
And for my dear Silverchild of the winds and Indigo Spirit Aya and Shigure shaped cookies! With cute chocolate chips for eyes! Kawaii!

To everyone else who coulden't be bothered to review: YOU ALL SUCK!

If anyone has a suggestion who should be next, give us a shout out. We won't know what you're thinking unless you tell us! We arn't mindreaders! Though that would be really really cool...