Title: Past the Picket Fence
Chapter 4: Of Frying Pans and Fires
A/N: I took forever on this because I wanted to make it extra good. You can believe that or you can believe that I just didn't work on it for three weeks straight. Actually it was a review from Alka-Setzer that got me working on this again, I mean, making it even more good. I would also like to thank Poisson d'avril for beta-ing and for the fun chats.
"I think he's coming around."
"Should I get a glass of water or something?"
"I'm not thirsty…"
"No, for him, idiot."
"Oh… yeah, yeah, do that. Um… can you get me something from the fridge? I'm kind of hungry."
"Like what?"
"I don't know… a sandwich or something."
The noise of thick shoes on a wooden floor sounded heavily against his brain. His head hurt like someone had beaten it against a brick wall.
"Are you going to open your eyes?"
"No… I'm trying to put that off as long as possible," he said, his voice sounding weak and ragged.
"You want me to close the curtains?"
"Are there cur- yes."
He heard metal rings sliding across a rod and risked cracking his eyes open. He saw a ceiling.
Opening his eyes more fully, he turned his head to see the person that was in the room with him, and realized that his neck was really stiff.
Actually, he was pretty sore all over.
He couldn't ever remember feeling as crappy as this, but apparently being drugged, running for your life, and falling off a very high cliff into angry rapids did that to you. Still, he should kick the fox's ass for not healing him better.
And if he knew a way to do that, he would.
"Who are you?" he asked, taking in the sight of a young woman, well, maybe girl yet, he wasn't really sure. In the darkened room, he could see that her hair was tied back, he wasn't too sure of what color, and her face wasn't very easily distinguishable in shadows.
Her pants were a dark color and her shirt was a light color and that's all he could really tell. Of course, he could never really tell anything about a person from their appearance, supposedly most ninjas were trained to do that, but he was a career exception to the rules.
"Me? I'm Vivi, and you are?"
"Naruto."
"Well, Naruto, what were you doing in the river?"
"I fell in."
"I gathered."
"Then why'd you ask?"
She paused for a moment, trying to rephrase her question. "How'd you fall in?"
"I slipped… and fell off a cliff, but it was dark and raining out, plus I was running, and well, you know."
If Naruto could see her expression, he would realize that she didn't know.
She was about to say something, when the light flipped on in the room, causing Naruto to cringe harshly.
"So you're awake finally? Thirsty?"
Before Naruto could think up the words to reply, a glass of water was shoved under his nose.
"Mmf… this is my brother," Vivi said, taking a bite out of a sandwich the guy had brought for her.
"Hey. You're lucky the water level was so low because of the drought, lately."
How far downstream did he go? It was raining where he fell.
Rather than answer, Naruto pushed himself up slightly and took a sip of water. "Thank you… how long have I been out?"
"We found you about two days ago."
Naruto frowned, figuring Kakashi had probably sent word to Tsunade by now. When he got back to Konoha, the Godaime would probably pound him into the pavement of the village as her way of saying she was worried about him.
Funny how she showed affection with violence.
Naruto reached to rub at his throbbing temple when he noticed something… amiss…
"Where's my hitae-ate?"
It was the girl who answered with an informed, "Huh?"
"My headband, where is it?"
The two siblings looked at each other, before the brother spoke, "You weren't wearing a headband."
Naruto cursed.
-
Kakashi woke up to find that he was not in his room at the inn. Something of that was always alarming, especially if one was a wanted shinobi, because it usually meant you were in the wrong sort of hands and probably had a few painful hours ahead. Sometimes with a lot of question asking. At the end was usually an anonymous death and that was the end of your existence.
That kind of upset his plans to live a long and full life.
Unfortunately, he was in no shape to fight in any sort of serious manner. He had a certain spoiled Uchiha brat to thank for that. He also wasn't in any sort of shape to focus his eyesight properly, either.
He hadn't felt so dizzy since the last time Itachi had used tsukiyomi on him. The little bastard.
He tried to sit up, noting how badly his arms shook as he did so. One would think it would get easier to come out of this if it happened enough.
Apparently not.
If he wasn't mistaken, that was bile rising up from his stomach.
Quickly, he turned his head, pulling down his mask (thankful for reasons only he really knew that at least no one had taken that) and found that the floor was a suitable receptacle for his vomit.
His supporting arm collapsed after his second dry heave, leaving him twisted oddly on the bed, face pointing towards the floor. He began to pull his mask back up when he heard what must have been the door to the room open and shoes clicking softly on the floor.
He passed out before he could tell whether or not it might be someone who would try to kill him.
-
Two days later from when they had been forced to seek shelter in a cave, Sakura was still frustrated. She would have felt marginally better if she had been able to beat someone to a pulpy mess, but there was sadly, no one truly deserving of it. Not even somewhat deserving.
As such, Kiba was giving her a wide berth, having had to deal with temperamental females from his family. Shikamaru was frequently pouring over the map of the area, marking off the areas he had been. Neji was usually scouting.
They had made it to a town, as per Kakashi's signs, and discovered that during the night, someone had broken a window in one of the rooms of an inn, and nearly busted a door off of its hinges. Two men had been sharing a room, from the sounds of it. They wore matching cloaks, and if that wasn't enough, one looked like a shark and carried a large, wrapped object. The other was "effing hot", according to the girl who worked behind the counter.
Apparently there had also been a lot of noise.
So they spent their time scouting the surrounding area. Sakura had asked if a gray haired man wearing a mask had been seen, but the girl shrugged, saying she couldn't remember, but also she usually didn't notice who came in. Apparently the only reason she recalled the two men was because aside from their appearances, they were also "effing scary".
That had been in the morning when they had arrived that Sakura had conducted her investigation, which was more of her being really demanding and increasingly angry. As she walked away from the counter, she heard a muttered, "effing bitch", and Neji and Kiba had to physically hold her back.
-
Naruto looked at his two hosts, "I appreciate you rescuing me, but I have to go home." The more he worried Tsunade, the harder she would hit him when he saw her again.
"But you were in really rough shape when we found you," Vivi protested.
"I heal quickly. It's important that I get back so they know I'm all right." And not an asset of the Akatsuki. Also, all known movement of the group –such as buying a drugged jinchuuriki- must be reported, it was a law or something, he wasn't really sure.
"You can't possibly…!" she sounded unnecessarily alarmed, then took a breath and more calmly, "Better to be safe than sorry. Let them worry an extra day or two while you rest up and heal in case anything should happen on the way back."
"But…"
"She won't shut up until you agree," the brother spoke up.
Naruto sighed. "…Fine."
"Now we won't have to listen to her bitching."
Naruto watched as Vivi slugged her brother in the face.
-
If nothing else, Shikamaru and Neji were a deadly combination when they wanted answers. They operated with a sort of ruthless efficiency that Sakura had to raise her eyebrows at.
She didn't know much beyond the basics of interrogation and general questioning, but by watching the two systematically sort out the useful information from the worthless, she could tell they were far more skilled than the average shinobi.
Shikamaru could ask all the right questions and did not hesitate to do so. Neji could sift through the responses, effortlessly getting to what was really meant by them. They could both read people, but in different ways, and Sakura was absolutely fascinated.
Kiba was bored. He had no inclination to ever involve himself with the process if he could possibly avoid it. There were times when it became apparent that he could, actually, choose his battles. Sakura just wasn't used to seeing it.
It was after tracking down everyone who worked at the inn -people who would much rather be left alone then accosted by angry shinobi and questioned about who they would harbor- that they found their way to the east side of the small town.
Maybe they couldn't dig up anything about Naruto's whereabouts, but they weren't completely hopeless. Not yet.
-
Kakashi was surprised, to say the least, when he awoke to a familiar voice speaking above him.
"Hello Sakura, what are you doing here?"
"Oh, you're awake! Good."
This time, when he tried to sit up, he was pleased to note the distinct lack of vertigo. He discovered that he and Sakura were not alone in the room, either.
"I see they made it back to Konoha with the report," he said, referring to his two temporary teammates from the mission.
"Yes. What happened?" Sakura asked.
"To me or-"
"Let's start with that," she interrupted.
"I was on the receiving end of an Uchiha genjutsu. Tsukiyomi."
There were worried glances cast about the room.
"Naruto escaped, but I don't know if he was recaptured."
"The girl at the counter said that when they checked out, it was only the two of them," Shikamaru mentioned, although it was highly likely that one of the two of them would have been able to conceal Naruto. Probably.
Naruto did have a way of drawing attention to himself.
"Itachi would have been considerably weakened after using that particular attack on me. Kisame was otherwise… engaged," and here, Kakashi shook his head and tried not to smile, "so it is possible that Naruto escaped. When did they check out?"
"In the morning," Neji answered.
"Daylight hours? If it took them that long…"
"The more time spent looking for Naruto gives him a higher chance of escape," Sakura concluded.
"So now what?" Kiba asked, finally making his contribution and simultaneously asking the most difficult question of the entire conversation.
"This may be a little off-topic, but where are we?" Kakashi asked.
-
Naruto thought that maybe it was a good thing he had relented and decided to stay, because he felt drowsy soon after he was left alone. The girl, he had forgotten her name, had said that she needed to get the village's doctor.
He could've have told her that it really wasn't necessary, because he happened to have a nine tailed fox caged in his abdomen who could heal him quicker, but he suspected that letting that particular information out would only quicken her pace to the local physician.
The brother had disappeared into some other part of the house, and Naruto could periodically hear him move around in one room or another. He was glad for the isolation.
What he felt he didn't need, was to have a couple of strangers hover over him, despite how selfless they had been in taking him into their home.
He wanted to return to Konoha as soon as possible. A brush in with the Akatsuki was enough to unsettle him and for all he knew, they could be closing in on him. That would put these people at risk.
He was, however, extremely sleepy, and ended up deciding that closing his eyes and dreaming of beating Kakashi at… thumb wrestling… would be… a much… better…
He was snoring softly as soon as his eyes closed.
-
"You're in the physician's guest room," Sakura answered.
"Physician?"
"Apparently when they went to see why you hadn't checked out, the clerk at the inn found you passed out on the floor and called the mortician, who after looking you over, called the physician and they brought you here."
"Clerk? Not that little ray of sunshine that checked me in…?"
"You mean that chick with the crappy attitude?" Sakura snorted, a frown settling on her face as her brows knotted.
"So you've met," Kakashi smiled.
"Sakura almost killed her," Kiba spoke up, laughing.
Kakashi raised an eyebrow at his former student, who didn't look the least bit ashamed of herself. Too much time with the Godaime.
"Well, as long as you two hit it off. Kiba's right though, we need to plan our next move."
At this, Neji spoke up.
"Excuse me for saying this, but you're in no condition to go anywhere, much less, leave that bed."
"Which is why I won't be the one returning to Konoha," Kakashi replied, unconcerned with the truth in the young Hyuuga's statement.
"What do you mean?" Sakura asked, eyes narrowing on him.
"Someone needs to go back and inform Konoha that you have made contact with me, but Naruto's whereabouts are still unknown. Akatsuki was involved, but we are led to believe they do not have Naruto in their possession. At this point, we are going to be conducting a search and rescue," Kakashi stated.
"Who did you have in mind for leaving?"
He could hear the suspicion in her voice.
"Either you or Shikamaru. We need Neji's byakugan and Akamaru to search for Naruto."
"Shikamaru."
"Well, actually, probably both of you, seeing as the Akatsuki has been sighted in the area. Seeing as though we've already located a doctor in case of injuries, you're kind of useless at the moment."
Sakura stood up, jaw set firmly. She tried very hard not to punch Kakashi in his smiling face, she really did, but sometimes he had a way of stripping all of someone's inhibitions.
Later, she would feel very bad about attacking a temporary invalid, and admit that he had been right, but in consolation, Shikamaru had caught her in a shadow bind before her fist could hit too heavily on his face.
However, she was beginning to suspect that Kakashi had been spending some time with Sai, because he seemed to be losing his sense of tact at an alarming rate.
In the end, she found herself returning with Shikamaru, after begrudgingly healing part of Kakashi's nose and leaving nearly every salve and ointment with them in case they did find Naruto in an injured state and various instructions on application and care.
It was probably for the best.
Although Shikamaru kept giving her nervous glances until she finally snapped at him. After that she calmed down, apologized and the rest of the trip went better.
-
Naruto woke up with his head hurting far more than it had any right to. His attention didn't linger very long on that, however, because he noticed that he happened to be in an odd situation.
It appeared as though his hands and feet were bound and he was on some sort of… board. He had no idea what the hell he was on, but it felt like a wooden plank. A wooden plank that was being carried.
Somewhere, not too far away, he could have sworn he heard chanting.
"Wha-?"
"I thought you hit him on the head with a frying pan!" a somewhat familiar voice hissed.
"I did!" was the feminine reply, then addressing Naruto, "Sorry about that, but we didn't want you to wake up."
He was groggy, but he could see that there was something very wrong with this situation.
"Why?"
"Well, you see, we're going to, uh, I don't know how to put this really, but we need you as a sacrifice for our spring planting," Vivi said.
"Nothing personal," the brother answered, as if that made it all better.
"What!"
"We have to make a sacrifice every spring for the planting, and every fall for the harvest, it's how our village remains so profitable. When we honor our-"
"No, this isn't going to happen. It just isn't," Naruto interrupted.
The chanting became louder, and he could see the night sky lit up with a fire somewhere nearby.
"Not to rub it in your face or anything, because you really do seem like a nice guy, but, how are you going to stop us?" the sister asked, and she looked like she had just told a small child why you don't build a house of cards in a tornado.
"Give me a second…" Naruto said, thankful that hand seals could be done when your wrists were bound. He sped through a series of five, smiling when the ropes suddenly expanded away from his skin slightly then snapped and he leapt off the plank before anyone could react.
He twisted, catching the brother on the chin with a fist. He used his momentum to spin and almost felt bad about it when he hit the sister in the face, not even pausing when she dropped to the ground solidly.
He happened to notice that there were several other people who were rushing towards him, and with a quick glance to his left saw a much larger crowd of people moving around a fire.
A quick guess estimated a little over a hundred, but he was just pulling numbers out of the air, anyway.
Luckily, these people didn't know he was a shinobi.
So, with the application of three clones whose sudden appearance was enough to startle his present company enough for them to stop in their tracks long enough for him to plow through a couple of them and reach a building, he grinned. He was running up the side of said building before they reached him.
However, there weren't any other buildings near for him to jump to, and it appeared they happened to be surrounding him on the ground.
If his eyes weren't deceiving him, it looked like they were throwing lit stakes in through the building windows on the first floor, and as if they were giant matchsticks thrown onto bales of straw, smoke started pouring out from any openings below him.
"The fool jumped on the roof of the hay barn!"
"There's enough straw in there to fill the stables for months!"
Oh.
They didn't have to laugh like that.
Naruto bit his lip as he tried to think of something. If he jumped, he'd land in the middle of them. He took the time to refigure his guess of their numbers to several hundred.
If he stayed on top of the roof, the flames would reach him and consume him completely.
He threw a hand behind him and scratched the back of his head while he tried to think up a plan of escape, while ignoring how hot the roof was getting under his feet.
Did they have to make it out of aluminum?
He cursed.
Realizing he couldn't formulate a half decent plan, he decided to just do something stupid and hoped it worked out. Clapping his hands in front of him, as if signifying that his mind was made up, he backed up a few steps, then took a running leap.
