JUST A TOUCH OF KLEPTOMANIA
CHAPTER 2:
A HISTORY OF KLEPTOMANIA
On a bed, in a room isolated from normal time and space, a small island adrift in the interstices of time, a trio of figures slumbered, naked, entangled with each other. They slept soundly, not plagued by nightmares of past, present and future. The events of the previous few days in the otherwise timeless nature of the Shadow Demesne had merely been the capstone to a relationship already years in the making.
All had grown up in varying degrees of isolation. Harry Potter had been isolated by his relatives. Hermione Granger was isolated by her intelligence and precocious nature. Luna Lovegood was isolated by her more fantasist leanings.
It was Hermione who discovered her abilities first, though she was yet to awaken them fully. She could read books even as she touched the pages, though she never really noticed that she never fully read with her eyes. She just thought she was speed-reading. And the Shadow Demesne scared her when she originally tried it, so she never used it again, marking the monochromatic landscape as a bad dream. She would only later learn that her Gift of Mind could take memories, either copies…or else stealing the memories proper, as well as inserting new ones.
Harry discovered his own not long thereafter. After being locked in his cupboard for what felt like the nth time, he wished to be out more than anything else. And soon, he realised he could, being able to slip through shadows, as if they were doors to other places. He soon discovered the properties of this world, how he could use the shadows to go places where he had been, or to even move more quickly between places he hadn't been. He found time froze in that mysterious monochrome world, save for what he picked up. He could even make time start up again, and as long as he was in the shadows, he was completely hidden.
He soon learned to use that to his advantage. Stealing food from the Dursleys' fridge was a bad idea: if one thing was out of place in their reckoning, Harry was swiftly punished. But he went to the neighbours and started eating their food. Not glutting himself, obviously. Just pieces here and there.
As Douglas Adams observed, civilisation goes through three stages, stages that can apply to the state of someone discovering a new ability: Survival, Inquiry, and Sophistication, or the How, Why, and Where stages. Adams used it to denote food (How can we eat? Why do we eat? Where shall we have lunch?). Harry used it for his abilities. How can I do this? Why can I do this? Where shall I steal from next?
Thankfully, Shadow-Walkers could open up dimensional pockets with their powers that they could put what they stole into, and by the time Harry got his Hogwarts letter, he had stolen enough from the Dursleys, along with the residents of Little Whinging, to fill a house. But when he learned of his parents, of his fame in Magical Britain…and the fact that they had left him to suffer at the Dursleys, well, he was mildly annoyed, to say the least. Oh, he felt vindicated that the Dursleys were full of shit, and Hagrid was nice, but Harry soon learned that Magical Britain wasn't all that it was cracked up to be.
He made further sojourns into Diagon Alley by himself after Hagrid took him there. Having not managed to find a fence yet in the mundane world, he soon found a willing fence in Borgin of Borgin and Burke's down in Knockturn. Borgin actually bought Muggle paraphernalia such as VCRs and the like, as there was a small black market for those who liked to tinker with such things, for purposes ranging from mere curiosity (like Arthur Weasley, who had actually bought a Walkman Harry had fenced in Knockturn, though not at Borgin and Burke's) to Muggle-baiting (Harry was annoyed to learn that Lucius Malfoy had enchanted a statuette to turn into a homicidal creature that he sent to the Creevys as a gift, one that was thankfully intercepted by the Aurors). He also took the opportunity to rob some of the stores there, mostly for information on Magical Britain one was unlikely to get from the books at Flourish and Blotts.
It was during one of those sojourns that he encountered Luna Lovegood for the first time. While he was in the Shadow Demesne, she had popped up out of the shadows herself, the first person he had seen moving while he was in it. He was understandably startled, and it took some doing by Luna to convince him that she was not going to give him up.
Although it would be another year before Luna went to Hogwarts, the two still became fast friends, and indeed, once Luna took Harry to her home at the Rookery, Harry visited when he could. Luna was his first friend (Hagrid, for all his friendliness, wouldn't become Harry's friend properly until Hogwarts). And Xenophilus Lovegood was the father he never had.
Through them, he learned the truth about his abilities, both normal magic, and Shadow-Walking. Through them, he learned some disturbing stories about the man considered the Leader of the Light, Albus Dumbledore. Through Luna, she removed the soul fragment in his scar. Although he stayed at the Dursleys as a matter of course, on Luna's advice, he had brought a luxury trunk, one that was practically a TARDIS-sized mansion on the inside. He now used that to store his loot, and sleep in. Another thing he bought on Luna's advice was a wizard's watch, one that could tell the time, as well as the full biological age of the person wearing it, useful, given how time stopped outside of the Shadow Demesne when he was in it. Although just over eleven by normal reckoning, his body was already six months older.
The first year of Hogwarts was both entertaining and annoying. He'd made a few friends, a few enemies, and had managed to steal the Philosopher's Stone. He had to claim to Dumbledore that it had been destroyed by accidental magic, which he had bought. He got his father's Invisibility Cloak back, but Shadow-Walking tended to be better. He used the two in conjunction.
The second year was also entertaining and annoying, what with Lockhart being useless, a Basilisk petrifying students, a House Elf trying to injure him, and an evil diary that turned out to have the soul of Voldemort. Upon finding it in a toilet, and interrogating it, he found something laughable about Hagrid being the one to open the Chamber of Secrets, and his suspicions fell on Tom Riddle. On a hunch, he investigated the toilet that the diary had been discarded in, only to Shadow-Walk right into the Chamber of Secrets itself. There, he encountered the infamous monster of Slytherin, a Basilisk named Medusa. Which was kind of fitting: contrary to the most famous legend of the Chamber of Secrets, Slytherin had left the Basilisk behind as a guardian of Hogwarts against Muggles, rather than as a weapon against Muggleborns, and the name Medusa meant guardian.
Tom Riddle had taken him into the diary once more, and tried to take Harry over. However, Harry used his ability to Shadow-Walk to escape the diary, though not before learning that Tom Marvolo Riddle was the birth name of Voldemort, and that Lucius Malfoy was the one who gave the diary, to Ginny Weasley. He had given the diary to Medusa to bite, and the Basilisk, wanting to be free of a master that did not embody the true traits of Slytherin, bit it.
Harry had to use his Shadow-Walk to get some livestock for the Basilisk to feed on (and getting cows and sheep to go through a dark portal in space was hard anyway), but he now had a loyal guardian. As it was, though inclined to be violent in her utterances, Medusa's main problem was boredom, and had missed the company of her first master, Salazar Slytherin. Having intelligent conversation was something she desired, and whenever he was at Hogwarts from then on, Harry made it a point to visit her as often, with his visits making her less violent in language and intent. The Basilisk was flattered to be allowed to guard some valuable treasures. She thought it made her like a dragon, and thought some of the gold and jewellery actually livened up the place. Her shed skin was also used to create Harry, Luna and Hermione's thieving uniforms, once they became a unit.
The rest of the second year wasn't really that eventful, though he and Luna had meetings in the Shadow Demesne. They decided together to rob Lucius Malfoy blind for what he did, or at least stole some of his more valuable items. And thanks to Luna's Gift of Soul, they were able to transfer Dobby's ownership to Harry, to which the House Elf was utterly overjoyed. The only truly eventful part of the year came when Hermione realised that Lockhart was a fraud, and tried to confront him. He had tried to Obliviate Hermione, only for Hermione to dodge the charm, and use her Gift of Mind to take all of Lockhart's memories, nearly leaving him a drooling vegetable. They didn't learn this until Hermione admitted it next year, as it was covered up as Lockhart accidentally Obliviating himself. Hermione had started using Shadow-Walking to get to classes as well.
Aside from the so-called Golden Trio, Harry had made other friends. Admittedly, most of them were in Gryffindor, like Neville and Ginny, not to mention the Twins, but he had Luna in Ravenclaw, Daphne Greengrass and Blaise Zabini in Slytherin, and Susan Bones in Hufflepuff. Admittedly, of those friends, only Luna and the Twins knew of his abilities (the Twins were envious of his abilities, but as he was agreeable to pranking Slytherins while stealing from the more obnoxious ones, they were willing to stay schtum about it), and the two Slytherins were potential targets on his theft list if they pissed him off. Hermione wouldn't learn about his abilities, and her own, until their third year.
Ah yes, third year. The year the Dementors came to Hogwarts. Harry had learned what the adults were keeping from him by using Shadow-Walking, and listening while concealed from the shadows. He learned of Sirius Black being his godfather, and the so-called betrayer of the Potters, very early on. But while pissed, he also tried to research what had happened, and began to wonder about a few things.
He also encountered Hermione in the Shadow Demesne for the first time. She had used her Time Turner, but had not gone far enough back in time to get to class on time, and she bumped into him while using the Shadow Demesne to get to Muggle Studies. She had been shocked to find him in the same place as she was, and eventually, the two got to talking about it. Harry, Luna, and Hermione began talking about their abilities. Hermione had been a little shocked to hear that Harry was something of a thief, though this was ameliorated a little by his confession of his home life. And when she learned he was planning to take the Death Eaters to the cleaners, she was a bit more ameliorated.
Unfortunately, they didn't learn the truth about Pettigrew until it was too late, and thanks to Snape, Remus Lupin in full werewolf mode, and a fuckton of Dementors, Pettigrew escaped (despite Harry's attempts to track him down when he and Hermione had used the Time Turner), Sirius was forced to go on the run, and Remus was outed as a werewolf by a spiteful Snape.
That being said, Harry let Sirius stay in his trunk for a time, and the two managed to bond. He could take living things through the Shadow Demesne without harm should he be in contact with them, and he used it to help him get far enough away to flee the country.
And then, there was Harry's fourth year. The less said about that, the better. Having Ron turn on him out of jealousy was not fun, and even after he came back after the First Task, their friendship was distant. Still, Harry got to take Luna to the Yule Ball, and he managed to avoid outing his abilities during the Tri-Wizard Tournament, especially with that bitch Skeeter buzzing around. Then again, it would have been a moot point, as Hermione left her partially amnesic in Hogsmeade, with a letter threatening to expose her Animagus form if she spied on them again.
And, of course, the fiasco of the Third Task. Of Cedric dying, despite Harry's attempts to save him. Of a resurrected Voldemort fighting him, Harry using his Shadow-Walk to get back to the Portkey with Cedric's body. He was lucky Voldemort hadn't seen him use it, or at least he was sure Voldemort hadn't seen it. Otherwise, there would have been an immediate nationwide manhunt for Harry without Voldemort even needing to take over the Ministry. But given what Hermione had told him, it wasn't going to be much better any time soon…
Harry had had some good ways and bad ways to wake up of a morning, but waking up in the arms of two wonderful girls had already made it to number one. Not only that, but it was, along with what happened last night, going to be his next Patronus memory. Oh, he was a bit sore, he was sure Hermione and Luna were the same, and if it weren't for their potions, they'd be a lot sorer. Not for the first time, he was glad they stayed in the Shadow Demesne even when asleep. It was only if you wanted to consciously leave that you could, and time in what was laughably called reality (Luna's way of thinking was infectious) started again. A near-perfect bolthole. Which made him wonder how exactly the Shadow-Walkers died out, at least until he remembered what Luna told him. Most died in their arrogance, which seemed to be endemic in Magical Britain, even amongst the Shadow-Walkers. A few just went into hiding and bred in.
Hermione and Luna stirred. "Ain't abusing a time freeze ability the Ministry and Gringotts label as Dark for fun and profit grand?" Luna murmured.
"And we've made it last within the first second of your birthday, Harry," Hermione purred.
"Please don't say that to Padfoot," Harry said. "He'll make jokes about me being too fast. He's already making jokes about our outfits being kinky."
"Figure-hugging catsuits showing off our figures? I can see where he's coming from," Hermione said. "I'd ask if you enjoyed your birthday present, but I think we know the answer."
"Indeed. The Wrackspurts seem conspicuous by their absence," Luna said with a grin. "By the way, I've got an idea for our next fun night. Gillyweed and the Prefect Bathroom."
"We'll keep that under consideration," Harry said. "So, ladies, shall we continue our evil plot to stick it sideways to those who deserve it?"
The affirmations were all he needed to hear. Ah, life was good when one played to no rules but one's own…
CHAPTER 2 ANNOTATIONS:
So, there you have it. Some of the histories of Harry, Luna, and Hermione in this story.
It's worth pointing out that there won't be any lemons. Yes, Harry, Luna and Hermione will be having sex, but I don't trust my ability to write a good sex scene. At best, I'll have a jump cut to Harry et al in mid-coitus for humorous purposes when someone else is speculating what they are doing. I did it once in Yin and Yang.
No numbered annotations this time.
