Kiss Kiss
By Lady of the Ink
Pairing: Kyou and Kagura Sohma
Fandom: Fruits Basket
Theme: #15 –Perfect Blue
Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket, but you knew that ...I hope. But I do own this story and all the twists that it takes.

Kiss Nineteen
Renovation

x

He wasn't going.

No one could make him if he really didn't want to go. With his years of practice, it would be no problem at all for him to simply disappear without a trace. He could be gone before they even knew something was up. A few weeks of holing up somewhere would force the whole situation to resolve itself without his involvement. It would blow over, he would return, and life would go back to normal. All he had to do was take that first step.

So why hadn't he?

Kyou heaved a sigh and shoved his hands more deeply into the pockets of his coat. He knew the answer to that question. It could be summed up nicely in a single word.

Guilt.

Of course, there was more to it than just guilt. He hadn't gotten through twenty-one years of his life by being shackled into things so easily. Pleading, he could ignore. Bribery meant nothing to him. But there had been tears in her eyes when she asked him. The damn rat had even said please.

So he was going.

He kicked at the sidewalk, still in a state of disbelief at what he had let himself be convinced to do. He was willingly walking towards one of his biggest fears, and all because of a few tears.

Kyou stopped, leaning against a pole as he allowed his thoughts to clear. There was another reason, one that he wouldn't easily admit. Doing this favor was almost his was of giving his blessing.

When the curse had ended, everything had changed. It was like starting over again. All the old traditions and rules could finally be cast aside. The formerly cursed Sohmas had to get used to a life with more freedoms and fewer fears. It was like being a child again, relearning how to deal with the world and all the people it contained.

He had still been getting accustomed to no longer being just the cat when Tohru and Yuki had made their announcement. They were getting married.

He'd been stunned, to say the least. Next came anger and resentment, old friends he knew too well. But seeing them together, so happy and hopeful with the plans they were making for the future, he couldn't bring himself to stand in the way. Of course, that didn't mean he was ready to show unbridled enthusiasm for their wedding, either. So all through the planning and crying (mostly by Ayame and Shigure), he had remained distant.

And now, more than five months later, he was just getting to the point where seeing them together no longer hurt so much. They were both happy, and clearly in love. And then there was the fact that were going to be parents.

It would be the first child born into the family that didn't have the threat of the curse hanging over it. In the face of such wonderful news, Kyou had decided it was time to move on. He had paid them his first visit since the wedding just that morning . . .and was already regretting it.

Digging through his pants pocket, he found the slip of paper Tohru had given him before he left. Written in her neat handwriting was an address, just a few blocks away from where he was currently standing.

Kagura's address.

During their somewhat stilted conversation, Tohru had brought up the news about the baby. While she was excited beyond words at the prospect of being a mother, she was also a bit upset that it was keeping her from fulfilling a promise.

Like almost all the former Juunishi, Kagura had moved away from the family compound and into her own apartment. Apparently Tohru had agreed to spend the weekend helping her paint and decorate, only to find out about the baby not long after. Since she couldn't be around the fumes or do any lifting, she wouldn't be a big help in the process.

Tohru was quick to point out that Kagura had understood immediately, and wasn't at all upset. But she felt awful about breaking her word. Her feelings of guilt were getting her all worked up, which upset Yuki. Faced with the two of them, when Yuki had suggested that Kyou go in Tohru's place, there was no way he could say no. Tohru's happy kiss to his cheek when he agreed had felt more binding than any contract.

So now here he was, standing on the sidewalk, getting more agitated by the minute while he struggled for courage enough to finish the trek to his destination. With more hesitation then he would willingly admit to, Kyou forced himself to put one foot in front of the other and continue down the street.

The building was identical to numerous ones he had passed on the way. It's brick front managed to look both comforting and imposing at the same time, as though welcoming those who belonged and warning away those who didn't. 'And which group do I belong to?' Kyou asked himself, pausing for only a second before climbing the stairs.

He was more than a little unsure of his reception, especially since as far as he knew, Kagura didn't know that he was coming. Their last meetings, few and far between as the family tested their new freedom, had been stilted and on the formal side, giving him no hints as to how she might feel about seeing him now. She might be happy, which could easily result in the bruises to prove it, or she might see his presence as an imposition. Even if it was on the behalf of someone else, he was coming to her home uninvited.

Without giving himself time to think about it, Kyou turned to the electronic panel with its neatly labeled buttons for each apartment. He scanned the names, subconsciously hoping that she hadn't gotten around to changing the listing in the few days since she'd moved in. If he couldn't find the right one, he could hardly be expected to punch them all. He'd just have to call it a day and try some other time. Or not.

A near silent groan left him as he located the proper name midway down the second column. Feeling the chains tighten around him more with each passing second, he reached out. Before he could change his mind, he pressed it before shoving his hands into his pockets.

Several moments passed before he heard the familiar voice. "Yes?"

"It's Kyou. Can I come up?"

x

If there was an illustration in the dictionary for the word uncomfortable, it had to be a drawing of Kagura's living room at that moment, Kyou decided. She had let him in after only a few moments of stunned silence, to his immense relief. During those indeterminate moments of quiet, he'd pictured a dozen different reactions she might have to his sudden appearance. None of them quite matched what he'd gotten in the end. With nothing more than a quiet "Okay", she'd buzzed him in. A quick trip up the stairs and a short search for the proper door later, Kagura had let him in. Now they stood on opposite sides of the room, squared off like opposing armies before a battle.

Kyou ran out of things to do after shoving his hands into his pockets and shifting his weight from one foot to the other and then back again. Not sure what to say, he let his eyes roll over the room, focusing on everything except the silent woman a few feet away.

The apartment was obviously in the middle of being redecorated; the little furniture it contained was grouped in the center of the floor and covered so as not to be damaged by the paint. The exposed floor had gotten the same treatment and in one corner sat several cans of paint, rollers, and brushes. None of them had been opened and Kyou guessed that his arrival had come before she could begin.

"So…" Kagura's voice sounded slightly hollow in the empty room. Kyou turned to her almost reluctantly, wishing more than ever that he had just kept going when he'd had the chance. She was probably wishing the same thing, if her uncomfortable expression was any indication. He watched as she nervously tightened her ponytail and then smoothed her hands down her shorts.

Fed up with the silence, he shook his head. "Look, Tohru was feeling guilty about not being able to help you and asked me if I would come. I wasn't doing anything else and so here I am. The sooner we get started, the sooner we can get this over with."

Once again, her reaction defied his expectations. Instead of anger at his tone or the over the top gratitude she once would have shown, Kagura merely sighed. "I appreciate the thought but you don't have to be here. It's not that big of a place; I can handle it on my own. Everything I need is already here and I'll probably be done in a couple of days. Just tell Tohru I said thank you for thinking of me but I've got it covered."

She turned to pick up a brush, apparently expecting him to take the out that she was offering. Kyou moved toward the door and then stopped. If he left, he would drive himself crazy wondering why she was suddenly acting so different. It would be better to just ask and get it over with rather than subject himself to this kind of tension each time they happened to meet in the future.

"What's going on with you? Why are you acting so weird?"

Her gaze shot to his face, an offended expression on hers. "What do you mean, weird?"

He growled, pushing a hand through his hair, his eyes on the ground as he sought the words that would explain what he wanted to say without making things worse. "The last couple of times that we've met, you didn't act the way you used to. At first I thought it was because of the end of the curse; everyone was uncomfortable in the beginning, getting used to the new rules. But now they've gotten back to normal and you're still …different."

A moment of silence passed before she sighed again, dropping the brush and facing him fully. "Everything is different now, Kyou. The whole family has changed. I was just thinking that maybe we – I should change, too." Her expression turned almost sad and her voice was soft as she went on. "All these years, I've been forcing myself on you. Even after you told me to let you go, I tried to go back to being friends, at least. With everything's that happened, I think I just grew up. I can't make you feel anything for me that you don't want to and trying just makes you angry." She rolled her shoulders in a half-hearted shrug. "Staying out of your way seemed like the only thing to do."

Kyou didn't know what to say. A part of him wanted to jump with joy at the thought of no more random attacks of affection or clingy behavior but another part remembered their friendship when they were young. He wasn't sure he liked the idea of completely cutting someone from his life who had once meant so much to him, especially since there were so few of them in his past.

He looked at Kagura as she fiddled with the paint cans, obviously nervous. While he didn't want the Kagura that had been a nuisance, neither did he want to give up the friend who had made an unbearable time almost pleasant. There had to be some sort of middle ground that could allow them both to be happy.

"Why don't we just start over?" he offered tentatively, the words just coming out. As he spoke them, he realized that they might be just the solution he was looking for. "We're bound to see each other from time to time and ignoring is just as bad as too much attention. Neither of us is who we used to be; who's to say that we can't get along now where we couldn't before?"

The hopeful expression that he was sure she didn't know she was wearing convinced Kyou that for once in his life, he had managed to say the right thing. It was true; they had both changed. The old Kagura never would have voluntarily backed off, just as the old Kyou wouldn't have hesitated to let her. He knew from experience just how loyal of a friend she could be and that was something he could always use. And if it turned out that their time had passed and even friendship was beyond them, he was sure that they could both accept it gracefully. At least they would know and could do away with all the discomfort.

As though someone had hit it was a brick, the tension in the room shattered. Kyou, of his own volition this time, offered to stay and help with her project. Kagura accepted, quickly putting him to work on the spots she couldn't reach. As they worked they talked, Kagura recounting the trouble she'd gone to in order to get exactly what she'd wanted. Kyou laughed as she imitated a clerk who couldn't seem to understand that "Perfect Blue" was the name of the color she was looking for and not just her way of describing it.

When the sun began to set, she offered to take him to dinner to repay his hard work. He agreed and they walked to a small diner a few blocks away that wouldn't care about their paint-flecked state. They parted ways after the meal but not before Kyou promised to return in the morning. The next day was much the same with the exception of ordering in as Kyou talked about moving in with Kazuma and helping out with new students. The friendship of their childhood quickly returned, only this time it was stronger for its maturity and honesty. Without the pressure of living up to expectations or making up for past mistakes, they got along surprisingly well.

A week passed as Kyou stopped by whenever he had free time. He seemed to enjoy the work as much as Kagura did, even going with her as she picked out new furniture for several rooms. A couple of times he offered his opinion on her choices, inciting good-natured arguments that often ended in her taking his advice.

As they stood in the center of the finished living room, Kagura looked everything over with a smile of satisfaction. "Isn't it amazing how a few small changes can make something old seem new and so much better?" she asked.

Kyou's answer came quickly, but his eyes were on her when he spoke. "Yeah. Yeah, it is."