Author's note: Don't mind me, just a little bit of Eddie/Veronica fluff for you. Enjoy these chapters before things start kicking off...


Chapter X

The first time I kissed Eddie Munson could have easily been brushed aside as an accident, a one-off, soon forgotten. A second time was harder to explain.

A third? Well, then, that was called a choice. And anything beyond a fourth… It was safe to say I was in pretty deep by that point.

My previous fears were still present, but I'd already jumped in with two feet. My anxieties about the lies, the secrets, the sneaking around, were still neatly compartmentalised at the back of my mind. One day I'd no doubt have to face them, but just yet.

Instead, my mind was occupied by trivial insecurities. I still wasn't quite sure how to act around Eddie, especially at school. Everything about him seemed so effortless, while I felt like the opposite. The time after our first kiss was a constant push and pull between indulging in this secret life with Eddie and continuing with things at school as normal. I was preoccupied with this balancing act. Not to mention, trying not to reveal the secret to my success at school to anyone. At that time, though, it was nothing but exciting. I couldn't help but get a thrill every time I saw Eddie in the hallway or sat in proximity to him in class.

November brought the led up to the winter formal. This was the third dance I'd helped organise and it was one of the few extracurricular activities that I actually enjoyed doing. There was something satisfying in creating the perfect night and watching all the delighted faces on the day. It was day four of selling tickets and Chrissy and I were sat in the most prominent part of the hallway at school, opposite the front entrance – a prime spot to grab people as they went to class. Chrissy was responsible for bringing people over, her bright smile and easy-going nature could attract anyone in, while I took the money and handed out the tickets. I smoothed down the fabric of my dress, tapping my foot under the desk, waiting for our next customer. Sales had slowed since the start of the week; most people having bought their tickets by then.

Eddie did a double take the moment he saw me sat there, giving me a sly smile from the other end of the hall. I spotted him immediately as he walked into school, a figure in black among a sea of colour. When Chrissy went to the bathroom, he made his way over with a sauntering walk that made my breath hitch in my throat. A bold move, I observed.

"What's this?" He looked at me with a bemused grin. I couldn't stop myself looking about to check if anyone I knew was nearby.

"Tickets. For the winter formal. I'm helping to organise it," I replied cheerfully. I gave him my best painted on customer service smile for the sake of any onlookers, like I didn't know him, as if he could be anyone looking to buy a ticket.

"'Course you are," he chuckled.

I watched as he cast his eyes across the table, looking at the wads of tickets bound with elastic bands, the money box sat in front of me and the clipboard in my hands. He picked up a stray ticket and turned it over like it was entirely foreign to him – quite what he was expecting it to do, I didn't know. He didn't do much to hide his disdain for all things school related, especially a dance. Nevertheless, I couldn't help but wonder, if I asked, would he go with me?

"You want one?" I asked with a smirk, knowing attending would be his worst nightmare.

"Depends." I raised an eyebrow inquisitively. "Do you come with it?"

He had a kind of teasing smirk on his face, looking down at me with heavy lidded eyes. He acted like us flirting in the hallway was entirely normal behaviour with absolutely no consequences if we were caught.

"Only if you ask nicely." Flirting back was irresistible, despite the risk. In fact, that made it all the more interesting. At any moment Chrissy would return from the bathroom – although sweet-natured Chrissy, who got on well with everyone, was the least of my concerns.

Eddie cocked his chin. "What are you doing later?"

"Cheer practice, then home," I listed. "Revising for the History test we have next week."

He leant on the table with both hands, moving closer to me. "Can I see you?"

His voice was low, distracting. I looked about, checking to see if anyone had heard and fighting the heat that was rising in my neck.

"When?" I asked, sceptical but not totally closed to the idea.

"As soon as possible." He righted himself, giving a quick shrug.

"Well, I'm busy." I gestured around me, as proof, but my coquettish smirk gave away that secretly I wanted to see him too.

"What time are you done?" he pressed.

"Not until six this evening…" I squinted my eyes at him, wondering what he was planning.

"I'll be there." He tapped the table with a finger rhythmically, then adjusted his bag on his shoulder like he was getting ready to leave.

"Where?" I asked, feeling somewhat bewildered. Sometimes conversations with Eddie felt like they moved at a hundred miles an hour.

"At yours," he replied, as if it was obvious. He took a step back from the table.

"No way. Eddie—" I protested. There was absolutely no scenario in which turning up at my house was a viable option. Even if it was on fire and he was the only person on hand to save us all, my mom would still complain about the state of his van or how he should get a haircut. I was pretty sure she'd rather succumb to the flames.

He ignored my protestations and walked off. I glimpsed a cheeky wink before he left. Playful Eddie was obnoxiously capricious. I wanted to call after him to warn him not to come, but Chrissy returned to the table.

"What was that about?" she asked casually. "Did you sell him a ticket?"

She giggled at the thought of Eddie Munson at a high school dance. Little did she know, if I was to go with anyone, I'd want it to be him.

"You mean you can't imagine Eddie Munson in a tux?" I joked.

I could, but I wasn't about to reveal that to Chrissy. She laughed and didn't ask again about what we'd been speaking about, and I was glad. I didn't want to have to lie.


That evening, I sat perched on the edge of my windowsill. I took a drag of the cigarette in my hand and felt it instantly calm my nerves. I exhaled into the cold night air. It pinched at my extremities. This late, the road was quiet. The sky was clear that night and the air still. If I held my breath for a moment, it was like time had stopped. I loved collecting moments of stillness like this late at night when everyone else was asleep.

It had been a difficult evening. Once home, I spent the whole time on edge, wondering when exactly Eddie would turn up at my house. I jumped at every little noise in case it was his van pulling up or footsteps up to the house. I'd even worked from the dining table in the kitchen so I could be close if Eddie should knock on the front door. My family had bustled around me while my mind circled through a thousand scenarios of how that evening might go – all of them ending with my mom shouting at Eddie to leave and banning me from leaving my room until graduation.

Once my siblings had gone to bed, I had taken the moment of quiet to ask my mom a question. I'd lingered in the doorway to the kitchen as she prepared lunches for the next day. I could hear the hum of the TV from the lounge where my stepdad was, no doubt dozing on the sofa by that time.

"Mom?" I'd leant on the doorframe, biting my lip and wondering if it was a good idea to bring this up. "Did dad call? Around my birthday?"

She paused for a moment too long as she grabbed two apples, one for each of my siblings, and distributed them between the two lunch bags on the kitchen counter. She looked oddly placed, performing this very domestic task in her neatly pressed blazer and knee-length skirt, tightly permed hair twisted into an up do, and pink lipstick still fully intact, matching her neatly manicured nails. I had known that whatever came out of her mouth wouldn't answer my question.

"You have to tell me, mom," I pressed, speaking in a tone that was more parent than child. I had anticipated the lie before it had even come. "He's my dad."

"You were out, honey," she replied after a moment, not even looking up from her task. "At Chrissy's or something."

She waved a hand dismissively like none of these details mattered.

"But you didn't tell me." It wasn't a question.

"I didn't know if you…"

"If I wanted to speak to him?" I had finished for her. "Really?"

I had sighed at that response, utterly exhausted at having these conversations over and over again across the years.

"I've told you before what will happen." She had faced me then. "You'll end up with your heartbroken, just like I did. That's what he does. I just don't want you involved in that again—"

I cut in. "That's my choice, mom."

She pursued her lips. No, it's not were the words she didn't say. She had looked at me challengingly then, one finely shaped eyebrow arched. "Don't you have some work to do?"

I usually stayed calm in these situations – I'd learnt to grit my teeth in the moment and then later I'd build my wall a little higher than before. But these words made my blood thump in my ears. I could feel my heart pumping faster. There was a slight tingling in my fingertips. I suddenly felt nauseous, light-headed even. Without saying a word to my mom, I turned and walked away. It was only once I was out of her sight that raced up the stairs with as much speed as I could muster. I barely made it to my bathroom before I vomited.

I emerged from the bathroom sometime after, freshly showered, teeth brushed and feeling somewhat human again. My heartrate had slowed, and the nausea lessened, but I still felt shaken from my sudden outburst – not knowing quite where it had come from. I had pulled on a sweatshirt and shorts. The rest of the house was quiet by that point. That's when I decided to light up the cigarette I'd gotten (well, stolen) from my mom earlier that evening. My hands were still shaking as I held it up to my lips. There didn't seem much point in trying to sleep, usually I ended up lying in bed awake for a few hours anyway. And that's how I ended up sat at my window, breathing in the stillness of the evening, the moment of privacy and peace that I had all to myself.

Not five minutes later I heard the scuff of footsteps and the sound of a rock hitting the side of the house. There was movement in the corner of my eye. I almost choked on the cigarette I held. I looked down to see a familiar face on the driveway. The outdoor light illuminated the long-haired figure of Eddie. In the commotion, I'd forgotten about his promise to appear that evening. I should have known – he'd never have knocked on the front door. Of course, he'd sneak up to the house after dark. It was so very Eddie that I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of it before.

Stubbing out my cigarette on the windowsill, I opened the window further and leaned out a little.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I said in a frantic whisper, just loud enough for him to hear.

"Come to see you," he returned, like this was an entirely normal situation. No shit. His face was lit up with a mischievous grin. "I'm coming up."

"You can't!"

"Five minutes?" I was unsure, but I wasn't saying no.

I watched as he used a trash can to push himself high enough so that he could climb up the drainpipe, one foot balancing on its lid precariously. I waited, practically wincing in anticipation of the crash of metal against the driveway, but nothing came. Eddie hoisted himself almost effortlessly, as if scaling a house was something he did every day, onto the garage. He cautiously tiptoed along the roof, tongue poking out of his mouth in concentration so as not to fall, and over to my window. I opened it fully and leaned all the way out.

"Hi." He was slightly breathless after the climb.

I wanted to grab him and kiss him as he crouched on the roof outside my window, but all I could do was watch in awe at him, unable to believe he had turned up at my house like this. He had this crazy look on his face, grinning at me as if he knew exactly what he was doing and just how wild all of this was.

"Hi," was my awestruck reply. I couldn't manage much else in that moment.

He held out his hand, inviting me onto the roof with him. I threw a glance over my shoulder, feeling paranoid. A stolen cigarette was the least of my crimes now. This was by far the most rebellious thing I'd ever done.

"You're crazy, you know that?"

Yet I still took Eddie's outstretched hand and clambered out. I let him guide me slowly onto the gently sloping roof and we settled beside each other. I tried to get comfortable on the roof tiles.

"I told you I wanted to see you," he said, as if this totally justified his actions. He leant back on one hand nonchalantly like we were hanging out as usual in the den and not having a secret rendezvous on the garage roof in the middle of the night.

I arched a brow. "This is not what I was expecting."

"You didn't give me much choice, Hartley," he teased, flashing me a teasing grin – knowing I'd object to him (even jokingly) placing the blame on me.

"If my mom catches you, you'll never see the light of day tomorrow, let alone graduate."

"Then we'd better be quiet." He leant towards me, whispering the words, with a wicked smile on his face. It wasn't a warning to him. It was a challenge.

It was a cold night out that evening, but the cool, fresh air was welcome after feeling so unwell earlier that evening. I pulled the sleeves of my sweater down over my hands, covering the tremor in my fingers that hadn't yet subsided.

"Something wrong?" He frowned at me. "Are you sick?"

"No, nothing." I hoped I didn't look as bad as I still felt.

"Hey, I can go if you're not up for this. Just say the word."

"No… it's not that," I started. "Well, it is kind of. But I don't want you to go. I just, er, had an argument with my mom earlier."

"What about?"

I hesitated. I wanted to hold back, be cautious, to keep in mind all my previous anxieties about this – whatever it was between us – but he was looking at me so sincerely, his eyes black in the moonlight and full of concern. It was hard to deny him anything.

While I was never going to reveal what had happened earlier that evening, I kind of liked that he had noticed how I was feeling, like he'd already got to know some of my idiosyncrasies, the tells etched in my face and body movements that had suggested I wasn't myself. There are few people that I don't mind handing over that kind of power to – the power to read how I'm feeling in just a glance.

"My dad." I rolled my eyes at the memory. "She conveniently 'forgot' to let me know that he'd called the day after my birthday."

"Ah." He nodded, understanding.

"It's not enough that I don't see him, I'm also not allowed to speak to him," I explained in a dry tone.

"That fucking sucks, Hartley." From anyone else, this is just a flippant comment, but I could hear it in his voice – the understanding, the undercurrent of cynicism in knowing just how it felt to be disappointed by someone who's meant to love you. "What's the deal with your mom anyway?"

I chuckled at his bluntness. I was getting more used to it, but it still often hit me sidelong.

"Wow, getting in real deep." I swerved the question, but he waited. Apparently, he didn't mind.I looked away for a moment to gather my thoughts. How much did I want to reveal? He sensed my apprehension.

"What, you want some small talk first? You wanna talk about the weather or something instead?" He laughed. "Or I can ask you how school was..." he continued in a mocking sing-song voice.

Point taken. Eddie didn't seem like one for small talk. I squirmed slightly, readjusting my position on the roof tiles, the corners of which were pushing into my skin.

"I don't know…" I cleared my throat as I begun to answer his question. Silence hung between us while I found the right words, unsure how much to give away at this point. "She's, er, pretty unhappy, I think. She's always been that way. Ever since she had me and especially since my dad left."

"Oh yeah?" Eddie's tone was gentle and without judgement. I felt safe to say more.

"She got pregnant when she was really young. My age. Just out of school."

I fiddled with a thread on the cuff of my sweatshirt and avoided his eyes. I looked out across the road. The houses sat quiet and dark at such a late hour. When I was younger, I'd sat out here on the roof of the garage whenever I was angry or sad. I'd watch people walking past below me or peer in through the windows across the street. It made me feel like an outsider sitting out there on the roof, separate from the neighbourhood below me. Until that evening with Eddie, I hadn't been out there in a long time – there never seemed time to stop and take a moment out anymore.

"They tried to make it work on and off for years, but—" I shrugged. "Once my dad left, she got worse. Started really pushing me. Whatever I did wasn't enough. And it's been that way ever since. She's always been mad at him—that he left us."

I ended the sentence with another shrug. It didn't feel angry or upsetting to me now, it just, well, was.

"Wow." Eddie flicked a small rock that was balanced on a tile. It skidded along the slope of the roof, and I heard a quiet 'tap' as it dropped to the ground. "And here was I thinking you Loch Nora folks had it easy."

I scoffed at his remark. "Does anyone really have it easy?"

"I guess not." He shrugged back.

"How's that for 'big talk'?" I laughed, trying to lighten the mood after my admission. Revealing the intimate details of my childhood wasn't exactly what I'd had in mind when Eddie had turned up at my window.

"Bingo, Hartley. You're a natural." He smiled.

I pushed the conversation back. There was still so much I didn't know about him.

"It's your turn now. I feel like I know nothing about you, Eddie Munson." I narrowed my eyes at him; it was my chance to scrutinise him. "Like… where do you even live?"

"Some total shithole." He'd located another stone and threw it off the roof with more force than before. It hit the road this time, falling short of a parked car. "Not like this place."

So far, so mysterious, I thought. He wasn't giving much away, but that was okay. I could wait until he was comfortable. I wasn't going to rush him. We were still learning how to be around each other. A couple of months ago I was just another girl at school and worse still, one of the cheerleaders who hung around with the basketball team – some of whom bullied him and his friends regularly – just your standard rich kid from Loch Nora, who didn't step a foot wrong at school. I had to undo all of that before he could get close to me. We were getting there, but these things happened slow.

"Yeah, I am lucky," I acknowledged. "I don't wanna be one of those rich kids that moans about how they didn't get enough cuddles as a kid. It just all makes me want to get out of here as soon as possible, you know?"

"Oh yeah," he replied, the words loaded with meaning. "You know, you're starting to make a lot more sense now, Hartley."

That comment could go either way. I hoped it was starting to unravel my previous image.

"Yeah, really glad you know all my deepest, darkest secrets now," I replied with sarcasm.

He laughed lightly, but replied in a kind, sincere voice. "No, I wanna know. Really."

"Yeah?" I was unconvinced.

"'course." He remained firm. "No small talk, remember?"

"I thought your idea of a perfect date was something fun—spontaneous even," I replied, recalling our earlier discussion, all those weeks ago.

"So, this is a date?" he probed with raised eyebrows. He had a clear, open look on his face, eyes wide and glittering, almost innocent looking. It amazed me how he could switch from chaotic, hard ass Eddie with his tattoos and metal rings to soft Eddie in just one expression. I wished everyone could see this side of him.

"Isn't it?" I countered.

He thought for a moment. "I can think of better places I'd like to take you on a date."

"I'll hold you to that." I gave him a sly smile. "Or maybe I'll just turn up at your place next time."

I was desperate to know what Eddie Munson's bedroom looked like. Not just for… obvious reasons, I wanted to see what he was really like, see the side no one else saw. Something told me few people had that privilege.

"I might let you come," he replied provocatively, giving me a sidelong look.

"Might?" I scowled childishly. "That's not very fun."

"I think…" He paused for effect, leaning over and tucking a loose strand of my hair away from my face. "I much prefer turning up at your house in the middle of the night."

I softened, not disliking this option either, despite its risks. Though I briefly wondered why he didn't want me to visit.

"And maybe pissing your mom off a bit…" he added. It was a dangerous game, but one I was willing to keep playing.

"You know if she saw you here, she'd be more than a bit pissed off?" I warned. "She doesn't want me to end up like her, so no boys allowed."

I whispered the last words dramatically, leaning even closer to him.

"Well, in that case…" Eddie let go of my hand and suddenly leapt up. Without losing a second, he made to run off the garage roof before catching himself at the last minute. He teetered on his tiptoes, rocking back and forth at the edge – real or not, I couldn't stop myself from crying out.

"Eddie, no!" My voice rang out clear and shrill. It carried through the still night. I immediately clapped my hands over my mouth. Eddie turned around and laughed in low melodic tones, trying to be quiet but not quite containing his laughter at my outburst, which was no doubt the exact reaction he'd wanted to elicit. I waited with bated breath; my hands still raised to my mouth. Nothing happened, not a sound.

I dropped my hands to reveal a breathless laugh. "You asshole!"

Eddie joined me again, covering the space between us in two large strides. This time he crouched next to me on his knees, so close that I instinctively leant back so that he practically pinned me down. He extended a hand to cup my cheek. His eyes swept my face; black eyes, all pupil, darting from feature to feature, examining in that unwavering manner that he often had. He let out his deep laugh. I felt it vibrate through his chest as he pressed against me. If my mom woke up and caught him there, I'd have never been allowed to leave the house again, but after our conversation earlier that evening, I didn't much care. In fact, with Eddie this close, this act of rebellion felt good.

"Screw that. You're Veronica Hartley." He grinned. "You can do whatever the fuck you want."

I giggled in return and pulled him towards me by the scruff of his jacket, unable to wait a moment longer before kissing him. His lips were cool on mine from being so long out in the cold. Our mouths slipped together and then apart, breaths materialising in the cold night air. The kiss was gentle, as if it was the first time we'd done it. Both of us still trying to work out how to be around each other, still finding our rhythm.

In that moment, it really felt like I could.