Inuyasha Meets Family Guy: part 7
I feel so good! I got good reviews. Tee hee! I'm pretty happy right now, since I've been officially chosen as a peer mediator for my school (look up definition on profile). As long as I go to the four 6 hour training sessions! Hooray! Start the fic!
-
In the doorway stood Quagmire. He had ringed the doorbell, hoping that Peter would go have a drink with him and the guys tomorrow. His heart skipped a beat when he saw Inuyasha standing in the doorway.
"What do you want?" Inuyasha asked.
"Oh my God, you're Inuyasha?" the shocked Quagmire stated.
"And oh my God, you're the 300th person to tell me that," Inuyasha replied, beginning to get annoyed with the whole "Oh my God, its Inuaysha" thing.
Flashback:
Inuyasha is at a random auction and the announcer looks into the ground and sees the infamous ears of our favorite half demon.
"Oh my God, its Inuyasha, at my auction. Get up here!" he said. Everyone cheered as they carried the struggling and confused Inuyasha to the stage. The announcer man shakes his hand. He then grabs the Tetsusaiga. Inuyasha cries out "That's mine!" he shouted before he was carted offstage.
"What can I hear for this beautiful REAL Tetsusaiga? Do I hear 50, 50?" the announcer asked. Inuyasha was still shouting.
"I'll give you 30 cents!" a woman offered.
"All right, 30 cents it is!" the announcer said.
Flashback end,
Flashback two:
Inuyasha was in a crowd of people. The president was going to give a speech.
"People of the… Oh my God! It's Inuyasha!" the president stated. He jumped on top of the poor half demon and began to pull his ears and smother him with love. The American people backed away slowly as thousands of people were laughing in the privacy of there own homes.
Flashbacks end.
-
Peter walked to the door and said hello to Quagmire.
"Hey Peter, if Inuyasha's here, then Kagome and Sango are here too, right?" Quagmire asked.
"Well, I think I can trust you not to do something perverted, so yes they are here!" Peter said.
"Alright, giggdy, giggdy giggdy goo!" Quagmire said. He made his way into the house to find Sango, Kagome, and disappointment. Kagome was not wearing her wonderfully sexy schoolgirl outfit. In fact, she was wearing pajama bottoms and a long T-shirt. Sango was not wearing her equally sexy fighting outfit. She was wearing a loose nightgown that didn't even go above her knees.
"Uh…Hi?" Kagome asked.
"God this stinks, I'm going to rent a mature movie!" Quagmire said.
"'Kay, that was weird," Sango said.
"Hey, wanna make out?" Kagome asked.
"Sure," Sango answered, to the pleasure of Miroku, who had been hiding behind the couch. (Gotta apologize for this one. If there is ever a time to say I'm sorry, its now)
-
"Oh, Peter, tomorrow we're going to the Drunken Clam, you in?" Quagmire asked.
"Sure, should I bring Inuyasha and the others?" Peter answered.
"That sounds fun, by the way, are they all over 18?" Quagmire asked out of "curiosity".
"Who cares, they're anime characters!" Peter said.
"All right!" Shigure and Ayame from Fruits Basket said as they gave each other a thumbs-up.
-
The next night, the group all piled into the van. It was just the guys, and the girls were squished in the trunk. (I'm mean; I feel horrible –sniffle, sniffle-). When they reached the bar with the sign reading The Drunken Clam, they all clambered out. While the rest of the group entered, Kagome and Sango were beating the everlasting daylights out of Inuyasha and Miroku, since they had said nothing in protest when the girls were shoved in the trunk.
Before they entered the bar, they gave their Anime Character ID cards to the dude making sure no underage children tried to sneak in. Yet the Charlie Brown characters sneaking into the bar with mustaches and long trench coats didn't fool him.
Inside the bar, people were staring at the anime characters. With all their big detailed eyes and there perfect little bodies. Grrrrrr!
"What will it be?" Sam asked.
"Uh, just get us a round of beer," Peter said.
"So uh, Miroku you like woman too?" Quagmire asked the monk.
"Yeah, woman are nice, I also like to polka dance," Miroku answered.
"Ew…Polka dance," Peter said. (No offense to polka dancers though…)
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding," Miroku said, with a slight look of disappointment.
"So, what's it like fighting demons?" Joe asked.
"Uh… it's exciting but a little scary,' Sango said.
"Any paraplegics in the show?" Joe continued.
"I don't remember, but if there were they weren't the main characters," Kagome said, unaware of how Joe was glaring at the anime characters.
-
When the beers came, the group began to drink cautiously. Inuyasha slightly liked the taste of the beer; it gave him a pleasant buzz. Kagome didn't really like it, since the taste was a bit strong for her liking. Sesshomaru gagged on it, the taste was appalling to his taste buds. Yet, Sango and Miroku loved it! Miroku drank it down quite quickly, while Sango gulped it even faster.
"You're really putting away that beer, Sango," Cleveland said, after she ordered another alcoholic drink, this time it was red wine.
"You-You've got a… a nice little booty there Joe," Sango drunkenly proclaimed, swaying from side to side her hair sticking up wildly.
"Er…Thanks?" Joe answered.
"Oh Sango you pervert! I'll clean the air of your nasty language! Away! Away foul demon words!" Miroku-what a surprise- said as he jumped up onto the table and began to brush away the "word demons". Yes, the monk was stared at for about a quarter of a second, then they all got bored.
"Oh, Miroku, you babe! Might you wanna go out to the-the van?" Sango asked as her head flopped back and forth violently.
"No! No way, get away from me you lecherous mon- I mean demon slayer!" Miroku said, before staggering a bit too. Yet no one was as drunk as Sango, who looked almost harassed.
-
Later that evening, everyone was quite drunk (Even Sesshomaru and Kagome who found drinks that they enjyed). They each were getting tired and Joe (the least wasted one of the lot) decided to call a few cabs. Yet, Sango was over by the pool table, staring dreamily at a tall, muscular man with many tattoos on his body. Their eyes met. She began to make herself "desirable". The man's eyes widened in shock and delight.
"Hey, how about coming to my apartment?" the man asked.
Now Sango was extremely unaware of what was going on and had no sense of good judgement at all, so of course she said yes. The man smirked and took her hand.
"B-Bye guys see you-you-you later!" Sango said as the two speeded past the rest of the group.
"Uh…Peter, should we do something?" Brian asked, and everyone knows what the effect of this action of Sango's is. (Being perfectly clear…?)
"No…There comes a time in every girl's life when she must face a man with many tattoos and Sango is having hers," the enigmatic Peter said.
"Where do you come up with these things?" Brian asked, before grabbing another martini, not bothering to deal with the current situation where Joe was not currently involved in.
-
The Next Morning…
Sango awoke in a daze. Her head was aching and she felt very sick. Where was she? What had she done last night? Why was she wearing a towel? As she attempted to recall her memory, she sat up. The pain rushed to her head once more and she quickly laid back down again. A few hours later, the man she had met last night entered the room.
Before she knew it, she was looking into the dull eyes of a muscular man. It all came back to her. Now he was going to begin round two…oh boy.
"So Sango, ready for round two?" he asked.
"I think so," Sango answered.
"Okay, so which border do you think would go best with the room?" he asked as he held out two sample pieces of border.
"I don't know, it was hard enough to choose the paint color for your new living room," Sango admitted. (How clear was I, I mean how many of you didn't know that all bikers love redecorating. Come on.)
"Which, by the way, was a fabulous choice. The lavender will really accent the rose lighting system," he said, smiling at the female demon slayer.
"Hmmm, I guess the checker pattern. The pink and white will go nicely," Sango said.
"So, what did I tell you about the nightgown? Isn't it awesome!" he exclaimed.
"Yes, it is really comfortable, I slept perfectly and the straps didn't bother me at all! Though I admit I thought it was a towel at first," Sango said, a slight blush forming on her cheeks. She played with one of the tiny straps.
"So, do you need a ride home?" he asked.
"Sure," Sango answered.
-
Later That Day…
Peter, Sesshomaru, Inuyasha, Kagome, Miroku, and Brian all were up and about. Their hangovers had subsided a little while ago.
"So, what should we do about Sango?" Inuyasha asked.
"I don't know, maybe Brian could sniff her out," Peter suggested.
"No way. No. No," Brian said, lighting one of his cigarettes.
"You know, maybe she'll pull up with that dude that she left with and she'll just pop right in, like nothing at all happened," Kagome said. Everyone stared at her.
"No way, that only happens in fanfiction written by an insane, overcautious, apologetic, too-kind-for-her-own-good, evil authoresses," Inuyasha said. "And besides, we don't know anyone like that."
The group then heard a car pull up. They all stood up and looked out the window where a large truck sat in their driveway.
"Thanks for the ride!" Sango said as she jumped from the passenger's seat. She waved as she walked towards the house. "Call me again when you go back to IKEA! I can help you buy furniture!" The car pulled out of the driveway and drove away.
"Huh?" Miroku said as he ran outside.
"Oh hi Miroku! I had a wonderful night! That biker looking dude wanted some opinions on his living room. He was in the middle of redecorating!" Sago declared. Miroku sweatdropped, as Sango ran inside to tell everyone about her night out. Brian walked up to Miroku and smoked his already lit cigarette.
"So, you where worried?" Brian asked.
"Yeah, I mean Sango's more than just a great butt. I mean she has an awesome face too. Even better are those legs of hers! And she has a perfect ten bust too!" Miroku rambled.
"You are hopeless," Brian said as he dropped his cigarette butt to the ground and stepped on it. He then headed inside.
A Week Later…
"I still can't believe how lucky you are. Most people in that situation would have been…you know…" Lois said.
"Yeah, I know. But he was still so nice, I mean nothing bad happened. At least, I don't remember anything bad happening," Sango answered. Miroku came downstairs with a rolled magazine tucked under his arm. His expression was worried and his lips were pulled into a frown.
"Hey Sango, could you come here for a second," Miroku asked, taking Sango's hand and pulling her towards the hallway. Stewie was slowly climbing up the wall, testing his suction cup feet thing.
"Hey Sango, are you sure that the man didn't do anything to you?" Miroku asked.
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure," Sango replied.
"Well then, why are you on the centerfold of this weeks PlayAnimeBoy?" Miroku asked, opening the magazine to reveal a three-page picture of a naked Sango. Stewie fell from the ceiling, yet the other two were too shocked to care. Sango was fuming. Miroku was scared.
"That dirty son of moogle!" Sango shouted. Her voice rang past the living room; where it broke the TV that Peter was watching Kiss Saves Christmas on. The poor man wept. It rang past California; where the state broke off the hunk of land called the United States. Sango's voice rang past Japan, where Kagome's class was taking a test. It reminded Hojo to buy Kagome ear plugs. The high-pitched scream reached through the Bone-Eaters Well and was heard by Kohaku, who fell off the tree he had been sitting in.
"What was that?" Kohaku asked himself, a sense of fear flowing through the not-ninja.
Back at the Griffen household…
"Oh well, at least we have learned something today," Miroku announced.
"Yeah? And what might that be?" Sango asked, panting and glaring at the monk.
"That a drunk Sango and a camera are essential for pleasuring the men of this world!" Miroku answered. "What? What did I say?"
A loud slap followed upon contact with Sango's hand to Miroku's face.
-
I know this chapter was kind of short. But I'm going to announce an offer! I wanna get to know my reviewers better, so I'm holding a forum so that you the reviewers can tell about why you like this story, ask me any questions you like, and can just chat. I'm curious about why you all like this story, I frankly thought (when I posted this story) that no one was going to like it!
