Chapter 2

I went into heaven and it was different. There were a lot more Mormons in heaven since a couple of weeks ago. Still, I felt like I could accomplish something.

"Hi!" said a voice. I looked down at the ground and saw a girl waving at me. She looked about my age, had short blonde hair, hazel eyes, and looked very friendly.

I swooped down to the ground and said "Hi. I'm Kenny."

"I'm Jenni," said the girl. "So…uh…do you like to swim?"

"I never swam," I said. "Too goddamn poor."

"Oh," said Jenni. "What about the skating rink?"

"Nope," I said.

"Sledding?"

"Sure. I did that."

So, Jenni took my hand and we flew over to the sledding hill. It was so much higher than I was used to, but then again, it could be fun.

But, there was a long line of kids standing and waiting.

"Aw, man!" I sighed. "This is bull-shit! I thought there were no lines in heaven."

"Yeah, but since Saddam Hussein was banished here, things haven't been the same," said a kid in front of us.

I gulped. "Saddam Hussein? I thought he was in Hell dating Satan!"

"Not anymore," said another kid in front of us. "Since Satan broke up with Saddam, he was banished here—well, in a different part of heaven with the Mormons. Unfortunately, a few weeks ago, he escaped from the Mormons and took over half of heaven by taxing everything and building a weapon of mass destruction up here."

I stood in both disbelief and amusement. "Yeah, right," I scoffed. "Saddam Hussein! I'm the one who made Satan break up with Saddam."

"You did that?" asked the first kid. "You're gonna get it if Saddam finds out."

I gulped. I was truly fucked if he found out. But, in the mean time—

"C'mon, Jenni," I said, grabbing her arm. "Let's go to the pool. It's not crowded over there."

"But you don't know how to swim," said Jenni.

"You could always teach me," I disagreed, hoping to like me.

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"Okay, let's try this again," said Jenni. "You have to take your hood off to swim."

"Do I have to?" I whined.

"Yes. You don't want to drown."

"I thought you can't drown in heaven."

"Maybe you can," said Jenni. I removed my hood to expose my rarely seen face.

"Okay, there! Now, what?" I asked, clearly.

Jenni looked weird at me. Turns out she was surprised and turned on by my good looks.

"Stick your left arm out." I stuck it out. "Now your right. And swing them in the water." I started swinging, but I wasn't moving.

Jenni took a deep breath. "This is gonna take a lot longer than I thought."

"Yeah, I know," I said. "I got a lot of water all over the fucking floor." Then, a strong wind came through and blew more water all over the place. The clouds in heaven started to glow a neon green, then everything stopped abruuu…aberrrr…uh, suddenly. Jeni grabbed onto my arm tightly, and I felt something strange about that, but I didn't know what. The skies cleared up, and everything went back to normal.

"What the hell was that?" I asked. I knew that what was about to happen, it would be bad.

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That night, I went to sleep in my old room, thinking about what happened today, what was Jenni really like, but more importantly, what were my friends doing without me around?