Chapter 2
I went into heaven and it was different. There were a lot more Mormons in heaven since a couple of weeks ago. Still, I felt like I could accomplish something.
"Hi!" said a voice. I looked down at the ground and saw a girl waving at me. She looked about my age, had short blonde hair, hazel eyes, and looked very friendly.
I swooped down to the ground and said "Hi. I'm Kenny."
"I'm Jenni," said the girl. "So…uh…do you like to swim?"
"I never swam," I said. "Too goddamn poor."
"Oh," said Jenni. "What about the skating rink?"
"Nope," I said.
"Sledding?"
"Sure. I did that."
So, Jenni took my hand and we flew over to the sledding hill. It was so much higher than I was used to, but then again, it could be fun.
But, there was a long line of kids standing and waiting.
"Aw, man!" I sighed. "This is bull-shit! I thought there were no lines in heaven."
"Yeah, but since Saddam Hussein was banished here, things haven't been the same," said a kid in front of us.
I gulped. "Saddam Hussein? I thought he was in Hell dating Satan!"
"Not anymore," said another kid in front of us. "Since Satan broke up with Saddam, he was banished here—well, in a different part of heaven with the Mormons. Unfortunately, a few weeks ago, he escaped from the Mormons and took over half of heaven by taxing everything and building a weapon of mass destruction up here."
I stood in both disbelief and amusement. "Yeah, right," I scoffed. "Saddam Hussein! I'm the one who made Satan break up with Saddam."
"You did that?" asked the first kid. "You're gonna get it if Saddam finds out."
I gulped. I was truly fucked if he found out. But, in the mean time—
"C'mon, Jenni," I said, grabbing her arm. "Let's go to the pool. It's not crowded over there."
"But you don't know how to swim," said Jenni.
"You could always teach me," I disagreed, hoping to like me.
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"Okay, let's try this again," said Jenni. "You have to take your hood off to swim."
"Do I have to?" I whined.
"Yes. You don't want to drown."
"I thought you can't drown in heaven."
"Maybe you can," said Jenni. I removed my hood to expose my rarely seen face.
"Okay, there! Now, what?" I asked, clearly.
Jenni looked weird at me. Turns out she was surprised and turned on by my good looks.
"Stick your left arm out." I stuck it out. "Now your right. And swing them in the water." I started swinging, but I wasn't moving.
Jenni took a deep breath. "This is gonna take a lot longer than I thought."
"Yeah, I know," I said. "I got a lot of water all over the fucking floor." Then, a strong wind came through and blew more water all over the place. The clouds in heaven started to glow a neon green, then everything stopped abruuu…aberrrr…uh, suddenly. Jeni grabbed onto my arm tightly, and I felt something strange about that, but I didn't know what. The skies cleared up, and everything went back to normal.
"What the hell was that?" I asked. I knew that what was about to happen, it would be bad.
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That night, I went to sleep in my old room, thinking about what happened today, what was Jenni really like, but more importantly, what were my friends doing without me around?
