The Marauders' Papers
Bits and pieces from the Marauder Era
collected to understand what exactly happened at Hogwarts during the time of
Remus Lupin, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew.
Told entirely through notes, detention slips, homework, essays, etc.
-Disclaimer: I'm still not J.K. Rowling and these are still not my characters.-
Potions
Moony, can you ask James to pass me the lacewing flies?
Will you and James end this fight anytime soon.
No.
You ask him, I don't want to get involved with your quarrel.
But Moony, I can't talk to him. He's not talking to me remember?
Fine, just this ONCE I'll give him the message.
--
Prongs, Padfoot would like you to pass the lacewing flies.
What if I don't want to pass it to that pureblood freak.
James, that was a bit harsh don't you think.
No.
You're a pureblood too you know.
But not as big as a pureblood as he is.
How can you be "bigger" than someone else when you're BOTH purebloods
I dunno, but I'm sure you can.
Will you two please just resolve this thing?
No. Sirius should've remembered that it was my day to curse Snivellus.
You know, this really is a stupid reason to throw away a friendship.
We aren't throwing it away, we're just putting it on hold.
Do you really need me to make you feel guilty, because you know I can.
Try me.
Who was there when you bought your first dungbomb?
Sirius.
Who has been supportive for you and Lily through everything?
Sirius.
Who gave you that Comet 360 last year?
Sirius. Fine, Remus, you win.
--
Padfoot, I'm sorry for getting mad at you yesterday.
Aw Prongs, I'm sorry for taking your day to jinx Snivellus.
I shouldn't have overreacted. I mean, we could've both cursed him and it would've been just as good.
Friends again?
Of course.
Hallelujah.
Marauder's Code of Conduct
1. All Slytherins are disgusting and all should be hated with a passion.
2. Pranking is a necessity.
3. Must have the ability to keep a secret.
4. Making a move on Lily Evans is forbidden unless you are Prongs.
5. Must have a cool nickname.
6. Respect the fears and challenges for fellow Marauders.
7. Teachers are fun to mess with, do it at least once a week.
8. Stick up for fellow Marauders.
9. Do not refer to Moony's furry little problem as "that time of the month".
10. Marauders first, everything else, second.
Birthday Cards
Dearest Remmy,
You're all grown up now. I remember when you were a little first year and were only like a foot tall. Now look at you, 16 years old and a gazillion feet tall. Gosh Moony, you're getting so old, next thing you know you'll be off getting married and having mini werewolves running around. Remember when we found the Room of Requirement? I can remember it like it was yesterday, well actually, now that I remember, it was yesterday. Hm. Anyways, I hope you like the gift I bought you, and if you don't then pretend to like it anyways. Can you see my present? It's the one with the "I love Lily" wrapping paper.
Prongs
Peter,
Happy birthday! 13 years old now! I want to thank you for being the only other sane person in our group. Sirius and James would've led me to murder myself had you not been there. I hope your year of being 13 will be as good as the year you turned 12. I bought your gift in Diagon Alley before term started, I hope you like it.
Remus
Random Detentions
Detention
Culprit(s): Remus Lupin, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, and Sirius Black
Crime: Hosting the largest Exploding Snap game that resulted in twenty students sent to the hospital wing for injuries.
Punishment: Cleaning the Great Hall where the game was held, without magic.
Additional Comments: Who won?
Signed: Minerva McGonagall
--
Detention
Culprit(s); Peter Pettigrew
Crime: Breaking, yet another, tea cup.
Punishment: two rolls of parchment on the art of Divination
Additional Comments: ---
Signed: Marigold Melina
--
Detention
Culprit(s): James Potter and Sirius Black
Crime: Turning the fourth floor corridor into an ice rink.
Punishment: Serving dinner to the Professors, manually
Additional comments: Nice clothes will be necessary.
Signed: Pomona Sprout
Herbology
Do you think I can hit Snivillus with a Bat-Bogey hex from here?
Haven't you hexed him enough over the years?
You can never hex Snivelly enough.
Have you ever considered being humanly towards him?
No. And I never will. He isn't humanly to me.
Or me either Moony.
Me neither.
When did you two get involved in the conversation, Sirius and Peter? And besides, aren't you supposed to treat others the way you want to be treated?
Which is exactly what Snivelly does.
Yeah, he treats us badly, so obviously he wants to be treated that way too.
What they said.
You're never going to give him a break are you?
Now where would the fun be in that?
Excerpt from Sirius Black's Journal
Journal, journal, journal,
You'll never guess what happened the other day to James. It was the FUNNIEST thing I have ever seen. James doesn't like me to talk about it when he's around, so I'll write it down instead.
So, James suddenly got the brilliant idea note the sarcasm to spell out "I Love Evans" with fire. Yes, fire. He somehow got a hold of matches, spelled it out, and lit it on fire. Well, Evans was furious, probably because he happened to put the matches on her book I don't remember what it was called...oh well, not important. So she tried to rescue her book, but her hair caught on fire in the process. James tried to help by blasting her with water, but then she just got madder then ever. Smoke started coming out of her ears, and then, without her wand, she transfigured James into a matchbox. No joke. Remus had to transform him back. Oh, by the way, this was also in front of pretty much every Gryffindor in the common room. Yeah, James is still touchy whenever we mention anything about that incident.
Onto other things of the day that actually have to do with me. This third year Hufflepuff tried to make me fall in love with her by a love potion. It was in my pudding at lunch. I don't understand how she found out about my love of pudding, hm. Thank goodness Peter saw her pour it in there...otherwise I'd probably be out of my mind right now, looking for Felicity Grand. I'm still confused about how she found out...stalker.
A/N: Please review, it makes me optimistic.
