The Marauders' Papers

Bits and pieces from the Marauder Era

collected to understand what exactly happened at Hogwarts during the time of

Remus Lupin, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew.

Told entirely through notes, detention slips, homework, essays, etc.

-Disclaimer: I'm still not J.K. Rowling and these are still not my characters.-

--A bit of irony ahead--


Defense Against The Dark Arts

Why do you two have mistletoe charmed above your heads?

Because it's Christmas.

And the best part of Christmas is the mistletoe.

And this is the day James and I can help the female population. One free kiss, or more depending on who you are, for FREE!

And everyone knows that all the girls in this school would give anything to get a kiss from one of us.

Not EVERY girl.

Well besides Lily, Wormtail.

And we're also doing this because James and I are having a competition to see who can get kissed the most by the end of the day.

I think Wormtail and Moony should get into the game.

I don't think so

I agree with Prongsie boy. You two could use a bit of lovin'.

I really think I'm fine without it Sirius.

What about you Wormtail?

Oy, sure why not.

YAY FOR WORMTAIL! BOO FOR MOONY!

Come on Moony, you know you wanna join in.

Peer pressure, peer pressure!

Come on Moony, if I'm doing it then you have to!

I really don't HAVE to do anything.

You just think you're going to LOSE don't you.

I know I'd lose.

That's not necessarily true. The library girls absolutely adore you.

PLEASE MOONY?

Your use of capital letters does not help, Padfoot.

Do something fun in your life Remus.

I'm only in 6th year, I have other times to have fun.

If you don't...I'll reveal your secret.

No you wouldn't.

I'm not talking about THAT secret. I'm talking about the other one.

Mister Snuffles would want you play this game.

How did you find out about Mr. Snuffles.

We have our ways...so Remus, what do you say?

Fine, fine...but know this, I WILL get you back for this.

We figured as much, you are a Marauder after all.


Christmas Cards

Padfoot,

Merry Christmas! I'm very grateful to have you as a friend, no matter how many times I tell you to "be quiet" or "start studying". You've made me laugh and almost forget what I am. You're a great person, through and through. Except for the time when you thought it would be funny watching me freeze on top of the castle last New Years because I wouldn't do a dare that you asked me to. Aside from that, you're a great guy. And, again, Merry Christmas.

Your Friend,

Remus Lupin

---

Wormtail,

It's been a while eh? You've been a part of the Marauder's since first year. Now we're in 6th year. We've had so many good times, buddy. Now with Voldemort on the rise, I suppose it is good to have friends like you, Moony, and Padfoot. Who knows what trouble we'll be getting ourselves into. Merry Christmas, Peter, and lets hope there are many more to come!

Your pal,

James.

P.S. You'll like my gift I promise...it's the one with the, well you can figure out which present is mine. The wrapping paper is the same every year.

---

PRONGSIE!

Well this is our last Christmas here at Hogwarts. It's a bit depressing. In only half a year we'll be out in the real world...supposedly making a living for ourselves and getting a job. I don't know who in their right mind would hire a couple of Marauders, but we'll wait and see. Hopefully being Aurors works out, then we get to curse the heck out of Death Eaters all the time. Oh the joy. Well Prongs, it's been a good 17 years. You've been my best mate since as long as I could remember. I don't know who else would let me live in their house, your parents must be crazy. You even managed to land yourself a nice girl. I don't know what triggered Lily (my goodness, I actually wrote LILY instead of EVANS) to go out with you, but I'm glad it worked out this way. You two can get married! I call being your best man Jamsie. Moony and Wormtail can be ushers or something.

Merry Christmas James!

Love your best friend in the whole wide world who is expecting a REALLY good present from you this year,

Sirius Black


Potions

Hey Sirius, what did you get me for Christmas?

I'm not telling you...that would ruin the surprise!

But I want the surprise to be ruined!

You say the same thing every year.

And you eventually always end up telling me, every year.

This year is going to be different.

That's what you said last Christmas.

I ALMOST didn't tell you. I wouldn't have if you hadn't bribed me!

You need to learn to resist the temptation of pudding, mate.

---

Remus, what are you getting me for Christmas?

I'm not telling you James

WHY NOT!

Because, you have to wait, like everyone else.

I'll tell you what I got you.

Stop with the bribes, that only works on Sirius.

I'll give you a book!

There are plenty in the library to read.

Haven't you read them all by now?

No, I'm still working on it. I'm a quarter done, which means I should be done by the time I graduate...unless I decide to tackle the Restricted Section. If I do that I need to double my reading time in order to finish the regular books by 5th year. Hm.

As much as I loved that information...I would much rather want to know what you got me for Christmas.

If you don't stop asking I'm going to return the present I already got you and get you a big BOOK instead.

So the present you got me is returnable.

James...

Right, right...I'm going, I'm going.

---

Hey Peter

I'm not telling you, James

How do you know I was going to ask you something? What if I was going to tell you that Lily and I are going out.

Peter, stop rolling around the ground laughing.


Transfiguration

James, do you think any of the professors at Hogwarts actually have REAL lives?

I really don't know. They seem to be in school mode 24/7.

I wonder what they do for Christmas.

Stay at Hogwarts and make lesson plans probably.

Aw, poor professors. We should get McGonagall a present.

But what?

Hm. Maybe a new hat. And no, I do not mean an owl.

Maybe a new quill.

Why would she need a new quill? I'm sure she has tons of them.

I don't know! I'm just giving ideas.

I've got it!

What?

COUPONS!

For what?

I'll show you.

Coupon–

For five free yells at Sirius Black without Sirius Black talking back.

Do you really think she'll use those?

---

Detention

Culprit(s): James Potter and Sirius Black

Crime: Passing notes in class

Punishment: Cleaning the bedpans

Additional Comments: Don't talk back when I give you a detention!

Signed: Minerva McGonagall

---

Yes, I do think she'll use those coupons...

I guess so.

---

Detention

Culprit(s): James Potter and Sirius Black

Crime: Passing notes...again

Punishment: Cleaning the bedpans...again

Additional Comments: I just gave you two a detention 2 minutes ago! Don't you two ever learn?

Signed: Minerva McGonagall.


James's Version of "Jingle Bells"

Dashing through the halls,

pranking on the way,

Filch is right behind,

we're trying to get away.

Peter just got caught,

because he is so slow,

Remus took a right,

and where did Sirius go?

---

Jingle Bells,

Snivillus smells,

I cursed him once again,

he looks mad,

so I think I'll run,

laughing all the way.

Lily's here,

she looks nice,

I really like her hair.

Oh my gosh,

she's got her wand,

I better get out of here.

---

Running throughout Hogsmead,

because Sirius had a plan,

it was our first time going,

but we were all banned.

We found a secret passage,

in order to not be seen,

we dressed up like girls,

because Sirius told us too and somehow we agreed and now I'm regretting it because a skirt is very uncomfortable and makeup is annoying and we're running away from Filch who is chasing us because Sirius blew our cover and we need to get back into the common room before people know we're gone. And this was a really long line and I don't think it really fits but who really gives a care anyways?


A/N: Hope you liked it. Just in time for the holidays! Like I said before...reviews are a very nice present.