The Marauders' Papers
Bits and pieces from the Marauder Era
collected to understand what exactly happened at Hogwarts during the time of
Remus Lupin, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew.
Told entirely through notes, detention slips, homework, essays, etc.
-I'm just a person who has no life. I'm not JK Rowling-
Potions
James, do you have change for a Galleon?
Sorry Sirius. I only have galleons with me.
Darn.
Peter, do you have change for a Galleon?
Nope. All my money is at home.
Darn.
Remus, do you have change for a Galleon?
17 knuts or 24 sickles? Or 5 knuts and 12 sickles? Or 27 knuts and 3 sickles?
Whichever.
I don't have any money, you know that.
Darn.
Evans, do you have change for a Galleon?
Not for you.
Darn.
Professor Slughorn do you have change for a Galleon?
No I don't want a detention.
I'm writing to you because if I talk in class I'll get in trouble.
Yes, I know usually I don't care about getting a detention, but I need to be free tonight.
Because I have to give Hagrid the money I owe him.
Because I told him I could last a month without a detention. I cracked within two days. So, I owe him 17 sickles.
So do you have change?
Darn.
An Excerpt From The Journal of Sirius Black
Journal, journal, journal,
I learned a very valuable lesson today. Never steal things from Hogwarts.
I ditched Divination class by asking to go to the bathroom. I decided that I wanted to nick one of those levitating candles that are in the Great Hall. It'd be really cool if I got a candle from Hogwarts. It'd be a special candle! Anywho, I couldn't get my candle if everyone was around, eating dinner or lunch or something. So I needed to ditch class to get my special candle.
I managed to get one down after constant attempts of jumping on the tables. When I was walking back to Gryffindor tower, twirling the candle in my hand, a suit of armor attacked me! I'm not joking! It chased me through the whole third and fourth corridors, up until I realized that suits of armor don't run up stairs very quickly. So I ran up stairs, not caring where I was going, until I ran into a room. Professor Melina's room. There I was, standing in the middle of her room, exhausted, with a candle in my right hand. Seconds later the suit of armor blasted into the room and snatched my candle! Professor Melina was furious. I doubt she'll let me go to the bathroom ever again.
I've told you countless times that the suits of armor are used as security devices in this school.
This is MY journal, Remus, not yours. And besides, whenever you start mentioning Hogwarts: A History, I go into daydream mode.
About pudding
No. Alright, yes.
Excerpt From Peter Pettigrew's Transfiguration Essay
Peter Pettigrew
So, I guess the topic I'm supposed to be writing on is Anamagi. Anamagi are people who have mastered the ability to transform into an animal, and back again. All Anamagi are supposed to be registered with the Ministry, but I'm sure that there are plenty of unregistered Anamagi running around all over the place. Who knows, maybe there are unregistered Anamagi in this school! That would probably throw people for a loop, knowing that students could master the complex spells and potions to become an Anamagi. And I bet people would be surprised if someone like me became an Anamagus, but that could never happen, right Professor McGonagall? Because I'm not smart enough...supposedly.
Charms
Moony, have you decided what you're going to choose as your career choice?
I have no clue, various...er...laws have been passed lately that are making it more and more difficult for people like me to get a job.
I hate those people who pass those laws.
Prongs, don't hate people you don't know.
But, I do.
Well, you shouldn't.
Why not?
Because it's not nice.
But they're not being nice because they're not letting people with furry little problems get jobs.
Yeah well, that's the way people are sometimes. So, what did you choose as your career choice?
Well I've thought long and hard about it.
And?
I want to be an owl keeper.
You're joking.
Why would I be joking with something as important as my future?
Those poor, poor, owls.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Aside from the fact that you named your owl a ridiculous name, you also forgot to feed it, four days in a row, and you never cleaned its cage.
That's okay, it's not like I killed the bird.
Maybe not, but I think you drove it insane.
What makes you think that?
Because it constantly hits its head against the bars of his owl cage.
Whatever Moony. Anyways, you never told me what you actually picked for your career choice.
Oh, right, I was thinking about becoming a teacher.
NO MOONY! NOT A TEACHER!
Why not?
It's totally against the Marauders' Rules of Conduct.
It is not. In our rules we just said that we had to torment teachers once a week.
Well, I just added a new rule. "A Marauder shall never become a teacher"
Get over it Prongs. Besides, if I become a teacher I can outsmart kids like you who try to get the better of teachers.
How DARE you outsmart kids that try to do a noble deed, such as pranking.
Kick the habit, Prongs, it only gets you in trouble.
It's well worth it. Sirius and I have almost beat the record of detentions.
I'll never understand you two.
And I'll never understand you, Moony.
An Excerpt From Sirius Black's Divination Homework
Describe Your Last Dream: Let's see. I dreamed that I left my parent's house, but when I was walking to James's house, I got ambushed by boggarts. Loads of them! And they kept turning into pixies. Then Peter showed up out of no where and punched me! I know, how could Peter punch me? Anyways, then James showed up, holding hands with Evans this is when I realized I must've been dreaming, and he threw pudding at me, and Evans hexed me. No surprise there, she does that once in a while. Then they vanished, and Remus showed up and gave me a book. A book! I don't remember what is was called, but that's not important. Then some girl appeared and confessed her love for me that happens often, and then I woke up.
Have a Friend Interpret Your Dream: Well, leaving your parents house symbolizes death. My house symbolizes death. Boggarts symbolize death. PIXIES SYMBOLIZES DEATH! Yes, those too. Remus symbolizes death, as does Peter. Pudding symbolizes death. DOES NOT! Books symbolize death. Me and Lily, well that's just the future. And that girl is just another member of the OJPASBFC, which symbolizes death.
You're Conclusion About the Future: Death. The grim. Dying. Graves. Tombstones. I'm dying. Do I get a good grade?
Party Invitation
Where? Gryffindor Common Room
When? All day on February 27th.
Why? To Celebrate James and Sirius breaking the detention record!
NO SLYTHERINS!
The more pretty girls the better!
Bring presents!
Yeah, LOTS of those!
Evans, I love you!
James, don't ruin our invitation with your meaningless Evans talk.
It is NOT meaningless!
I beg to differ.
A/N: Review, review, review: )
