The Marauders' Papers

Bits and pieces from the Marauder Era

collected to understand what exactly happened at Hogwarts during the time of

Remus Lupin, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew.

Told entirely through notes, detention slips, homework, essays, etc.

-Not JK Rowling-

--Remember, these are in no particular order in relation to their years. They aren't in order, so you'll have to decide which year they're in. One day I might go back and put the years in...but for now...no--


Defense Against the Dark Arts

Why isn't Remus in class today?

Beats me. He didn't...you know...

Ditch?

Yeah.

Remus would never do that. We've known him for how long now?

Six months I think. Since the beginning of term.

Right. Oh I probably know where he is.

Where?

Probably visiting his grandma again.

Oh that's right, she's really sick.

With some weird virus...I forgot what it was called.

I think Remus said it was the pixie flu.

THERE'S A PIXIE FLU?

Looks like it, according to Remus. And from I've learned about him...he's a walking encyclopedia.

Do you think it's contagious?

I think it is. Remus said that it makes you cough a lot, then you go crazy, and then you die.

AH JAMES! Do you realize that I've been coughing lately!

You have?

YES! Next thing you know I'm going to be going crazy.

Oh you're way past that stage, mate.

Then that means I'm going to DIE!

Maybe Remus knows of an antidote.

What if there is no antidote? Then I'm going to die...and I'll accidentally spread it to you and you'll die...and then Peter will die. There'll be an epidemic!

If you don't mind, Sirius, I'm going to go sit on the other side of the room. I would much rather want to survive my first year at Hogwarts.

Do me a favor, James.

Yes, my almost dead, Sirius.

Take care of my pocket mirrors.

I will, Sirius.

And my combs.

Of course.

How long does this thing last?

Dunno, Remus didn't say. You could probably die anytime now.

That's just lovely, I haven't even had lunch yet!


Excerpt From the Journal of Remus Lupin

Journal,

My friends are idiots. No, really, they are. They are living proof that history repeats itself.

James got Lily mad...again. She made him swell up, like a balloon. All this without her wand...again. Sirius jumped off of the Astrology tower...again. He's unconscious at the moment. And Peter fell into the lake...again. Oh and James and Sirius attempted to "ride" the centaurs like horses a week ago. The centaurs weren't too happy. Come to think of it, I think they gave James and Sirius more injuries then when James and Sirius tried to see how long they could hold on to one of the Whompping Willow's branches. Boy was that an interesting day.

James was made Gryffindor Quidditch Captain three days ago. Gary Summers's parents moved him away to Durmstrang school. James was ecstatic, he's been bringing up Quidditch for the past 72 hours...straight. I even hear him mumbling words like "quaffle" and "bludgers" in his sleep. It's sad, I know.


History of Magic

Why are you counting down seconds, Padfoot?

Hold on, only 10 more seconds...

YES! Only 272 days until I turn of age!

You're very excited for your 17th birthday aren't you?

Of course! I can visit my family and curse them all!

What a nice son.

It's their fault. If they hadn't been so into their "pure-blood" mania, then I wouldn't be angry with them.

So what do you want for your birthday Padfoot? I only have 272 days left until I have to get you a present, afterall.

I want a motorcycle.

Isn't that one of those muggle car things?

It's better. It only has two wheels.

Why do you want one anyways?

Do you realize, Wormtail, how cool a flying motorcycle would be!

No.

Well, it'd be really cool. Forget portkeys and floo powder!

There's the Knight Bus.

I don't like the Knight Bus, there are some odd people on that thing.

Well then, what about brooms?

BROOMS!

Great Wormtail, you showed Prongs our note. That means he's going to go into-----

QUIDDITCH! Right, so this year----

Don't steal this parchment away from me! This was between me and Wormtail, thank you very much.

I'm sorry Padfoot, I didn't mean to show him, it just sort of happened.

It's okay Wormtail, we just have to remember not to say the B-word.

You mean brooms right?

QUIDDITCH!

Whoops.


The Three Broomsticks

Doesn't Lily look pretty, with her hair like that?

Why are you writing on a napkin?

Because, I can't let people hear us.

You talk about Lily all the time when people are around!

Well, I'm changing my approach.

Good luck with that one Prongs.

Isn't this your 17th attempt at changing your approach?

No.

You forgot about the "Not obsessing with hair" change.

No, I counted that one.

What about the "Not cursing Snape" change?

That was the one I forgot! Right, James, this is your 18th attempt at changing your approach.

I remember that approach change! It lasted how long?

3 whole minutes if I remember correctly.

It wasn't my fault that he was begging for a fight!

He was sitting on the opposite side of the classroom, reading his potions book.

Actually, it sounds like he was begging for a fight to me.

You two are horrible!

We try Remus, we try.


An Excerpt From Marauders' Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L.

Give Five Signs to Identify a Werewolf: Interesting question. So difficult, I think N.E.W.T.'s should have loads of werewolf questions, because they are just so difficult. Let's see, there's the tufted tail, if I can remember correctly. The size of the pupils is another one, I think. Let's see...what else. Oh, the snout shape is different, and the actual size of a wolf and a werewolf differ. And the last difference is the shape of their canine teeth. A werewolf has larger ones then that of a normal wolf.

Give Five Signs to Identify a Werewolf:Tufted tail, smaller pupils, snout shape, actual size, and the canine teeth. Oh, there's also the claw size, the ear shape, and the color of the eyes. Nice question.

Give Five Signs to Identify a Werewolf: Werewolf eh? Hm, let's see. Smaller pupils, different snout, actual size, tufted tail, and the canine teeth. Good enough for ya?

Give Five Signs to Identify a Werewolf: I should know this...there's the tufted tail. The smaller pupils. The snout shape. And...the color and howl?


Transfiguration

Remus, can you do me a favor?

Sure, what?

Smack them.

Who?

Potter and Black.

Why?

Look at them!

So they have stupid grins on their faces!

What usually happens when they are grinning?

They're up to something, whether it involves Snape or you...fine I'll smack them.

Thank you.

Lily.

What?

Your hair is green.

Lovely. Just lovely. Forget about hitting them, Remus. I'll get them in detention now, and I'll hex them later.

Detention

Culprit(s): Black and Potter

Crime: They turned my, Lily Evans's, hair green.

Punishment: Serving the Prefects dinner next Saturday night

Additional Comments: No, Potter, you serving me dinner does NOT count as a date.

Signed: Lily Evans

Great punishment. James and Sirius will never hear the end of this one.

I love being Prefect.