So, I was intending to post the next chapter of Loving the Aliens, but after the overwhelming response to the first chapter of Our Hearts are Stolen Goods, I thought I'd give you guys that instead. I'll post the second chapter of Loving the Aliens later, but for now, more Harry/Neo goodness.

Also, before I go on, in case you've missed them, I've posted the first chapters of both Revenant and Hadrian Kotomine as full stories. Check out my profile for further details...


OUR HEARTS ARE STOLEN GOODS

CHAPTER 2:

THIEVES LIKE US

There was a sudden banging on the door to the room. "Neo?" came a distant voice. "Neo, are you all right?"

Sorry, it's the boss, Neo said through their link. Let me handle this. She strutted over to the small pile of clothing near the bed, grabbed a jacket to drape around herself, and then opened the door. Harry couldn't see who was there from this angle.

"Oh, Neo, good. Hmmm…is there anything that went on that I should know about?" Neo shook her head. "He didn't force you?" Neo shot him a glare. "Oh, right, I should be worried about the other guy, even if you're drunk. No blood on the bed, which is always a good sign, that's a bitch to get out. Junior showed me the emerald your sleeping partner tipped him with. So…we're cool for now?" Neo nodded. "Right. Have a shower, freshen yourself up a bit, and then come down for breakfast. Also, bring your new friend."

Neo nodded, and shut the door, before strutting over to Harry, who felt his stomach lurch, and he emptied it into the toilet just in time. After he was done, he muttered, rubbing his head, "Do you have paracetamol?"

She shrugged, and then opened a medicine cabinet, plucking out a packet of tablets and a couple of glasses. Gratefully, he took one and swallowed with a glass of sink water (after rinsing his mouth out first). Neo did the same. Ugh, having an awakened Aura is good in a fight, but it does bugger all against hangovers.

"Aura?"

Oh, right. That thing you described to me sounds like a partly-awakened Semblance. It's like magic, only, it's unique to you, and based on your Aura. Your Aura is…well, basically your soul, but extruded to be like a force field. For example… Suddenly, Neo seemed to crack and fall apart, like she was a pane of glass. Harry was startled, and even more so when he felt a tap on the shoulder. He found Neo behind him, her arms full with her clothes. She snickered softly, before saying, I can shape space, creating illusions and allowing me to teleport, even though I'm a Squib. Not far, just far enough to be able to make a quick getaway.

"…Handy for a thief. Ditto with your…well, you said you were a Metamorphmagus, didn't you?"

Of course. I just like looking like this, because I'm fabulous. She winked. Now, shoo. My turn in the shower first. We may be husband and wife, but I'm wearing the pants in this relationship.

"Fine, fine…" Harry said.


After showering and some teasing from Neo, Harry was led down to the nightclub he remembered dimly from the night before. Neo was dressed in the outfit she was wearing before, with a brown corset-like top, a white coat over it, and black trousers, coupled with her parasol. There were mostly cleaning staff present, but there was a man seated at the table Neo was bringing him to, one whom Harry was wary of right away.

The man had red hair swept to one side, covering part of a rather devilishly handsome face. He wore a rather snazzy white coat, and a bowler hat was currently on the table, as was a walking stick. The man looked up at their approach, his visible eye green, and surrounded by mascara. "So, Neo, this is the stray you picked up. Hmm, quite a bit scrawny. He does look like a prison escapee. Definitely needs new threads, too. So, introductions are in order. I am Neo's employer, Roman Torchwick. And you are…?"

"Harry Potter."

"Hmm, not a name I've really heard around much. Then again…I wonder…I know Neo isn't from around here, not originally. Can I guess that you too are…from out of town?"

Neo nodded. "And how do you figure?" Harry asked. He wasn't sure he liked Roman's tone, a bit like Snape's, only more liltingly smarmy as opposed to the cold, acid tones of his former Potions teacher.

"Give me some credit," Roman said, indicating for Harry to sit down. Harry did so when Neo encouraged him with a tug on his hand. "You're new to town…new to Remnant too. For the past little while, there's been a rather irritating obsession with naming people after colours on Remnant. I didn't really believe at first what Neo told me…well, wrote down for me, but I thought, as long as she was useful, I didn't care. But…you're from Earth too?"

"…Yes."

"Hmm. Still, Neo, could you tell me why you picked him up?"

Neo began typing into her Scroll, and then showing Roman the sentences. Came out of the alley where a few thugs were threatening me. Disarmed them, not knowing that I could kick their arses. I…recognised him. Let's just say that Harry is famous back home.

"What, in general, or those inbred retards you called wizards?" Roman asked.

Harry couldn't help but laugh, before he said, "The wizards. I didn't know I was famous until I was eleven."

"And what were you famous for?"

"…Being orphaned by a wizarding terrorist," Harry said with a scowl.

"…Oh, right, this…Voldemort guy Neo mentioned," Roman said. His eye widened. "Ohh, you're this 'Boy Who Lived' she mentioned once! Ah, I see. Well, what brings you to Remnant, kid?"

Harry opened his mouth, whether to recite his history or to tell Roman to piss off, he wasn't sure yet. Especially with Roman calling him 'kid'. But Neo gently put a hand on his arm, and looked at Roman. Roman put his hands up. "Okay, okay, we'll hear that story later. Still…I'm guessing it was a shitty time. And a prison escapee, too. And thankfully not from a prison on this world. So…what to do?"

Neo held up her Scroll after typing on it. He comes with us.

"Really, Neo? You can't just drag home every stray you come across and expect me to be okay with it. Remember what happened to that cat?"

Neo tapped the message on the screen more insistently. "Fine, don't listen to the voice of reason," Roman complained. "Anyway, I was thinking you both could do with some breakfast first. Then, we can figure out what to do with you. By the way, why do you have rings on your fingers?"

Harry facepalmed, while Neo smirked as she typed into her Scroll. Because we're married.

"WHAT?!"

Harry was lucky that Neo used her parasol to pin Roman's walking stick to the table as he was about to snatch it up, quicker than he realised something was happening. The look she shot Roman had the red-haired man eventually taking away the walking stick. "Okay, okay…no beating the crap out of your new pet."

"Husband," Harry said.

Pet husband, Neo typed into her Scroll. Anyway, what can you do to him that I can't do a hundred times worse if I didn't like this?

"…Fair point," Roman conceded. He looked over at Harry. "Okay, kid. What can you do?"

Harry sighed, before he triggered his ability. The world seemed to ripple and distort, briefly flaring from positive to negative, accompanied by a sound that seemed to be an unholy hybrid of a clock grinding to a halt and some eldritch abomination's flatulence. Everything had come to a complete stop.

He stole Roman's cane, his hat (which he promptly put on his head: he didn't like Roman much so far, but he couldn't fault the man's taste in headwear), reached into his coat and pulled out what he found inside (a bunch of what looked like credit cards, a cigar, and a lighter), then sat down, just as he felt that ability finish. Roman suddenly started when he saw Harry wearing his hat, wielding the cane (why did it have a trigger? He didn't want to pull it and find out), with a cigar in his mouth and the lighter in his hand. "I can steal things in the blink of an eye."

"Super speed? Hmm, no, didn't see any blur…a time stop, perhaps," Roman said, musing. "Handy. But I'd prefer to steal from other people, not have it happen to me. Hand my stuff back over. Except the cigar. It's been in your mouth and I dunno where that's been."

Harry rolled his eyes, handing the stuff back over. "Why does your walking stick have a trigger?"

Roman chuckled, even as he plucked his hat back off Harry's head. "Because she's also a gun. She's the Melodic Cudgel, and she's a beauty. Neo's Pernicious Parasol doesn't have a gun…but she doesn't need one. That little bumbershoot is capable of reflecting almost anything. Bullets, Dust blasts…oh, wait, you probably don't know anything about Dust. I'll leave teaching duties to your…heheheh…lawfully wedded wife. Little bit of advice, kid, don't ever think about divorce. Neo would take the whole 'til death us do part' bit very seriously."

Harry looked at Neo, who smirked. And given that she was the daughter of Bellatrix Lestrange, he could believe that. He remembered the Pensieve memory he had seen of her trial, and of Bellatrix's attack on Neville's parents, accompanied by her husband, brother-in-law, and Barty Crouch Junior. "I'll keep that in mind…"


They had breakfast, and then left the club. Their first port of call was a clothing shop. For the time being, Harry made do with a decent shirt and trousers, rather plain, but it was better than the rags he had been in in the Gringotts dungeon. Then, they made their way through a number of back-alleys to an industrial part of the city, and then he was brought into a warehouse. He was, apparently, in the company of one of the more accomplished thieves in Vale.

"Home sweet home," Roman declared sardonically. "Now, I'm only letting you here because Neo vouches for you, and, well, you could be useful. I run a small operation with Neo. If there's something valuable to steal, we take it. We do so quickly, quietly, and efficiently, avoiding as much attention from the local police as possible, as well as from Beacon. I've been arrested once, and I managed to get bailed out thanks to one of Junior's lawyers. Got the crap beaten out of me by the cops, but still…not an experience I want to repeat."

"I'm sure," Harry said.

"Good, so we understand each other. By the way, Junior said you managed to pull an emerald from thin air. Got anything else?"

"…Yeah," Harry admitted reluctantly. He'd stolen this stuff himself, he wasn't going to share it with this red-haired wanker.

"Hmmm…tell you what. Take out a decent selection of whatever you have, if you've got something left over, and I'll have Junior sell it off. Get you a decent amount of Lien. Obviously, we can't sell too much at once, or else the authorities will get suspicious, prices of valuables will go down…and vultures of the underworld might start circling. And frankly, I'd like to keep this operation as quiet and inconspicuous as possible. I already have a touch too much infamy for my liking."

"Yeah…I know that feeling," Harry remarked. "…Also, Lien?"

"Money." Roman took out the credit card-like things from earlier. "Now, Neo tells me you wizards had coins, and the rest of the mere mortals on your worlds had banknotes, but we have Lien cards, and have done so for the past couple of decades. Coins and banknotes still are around, but they're mostly cards."

Harry nodded. So, Lien instead of Galleons or pounds. He reached into his dimensional space, and pulled out a small handful of gems. "Will this do for now?"

Roman grinned. "Yes. That will do nicely. Like I said, we can't fence too many at once. Seriously, though, you must've hit up a lot of rich arseholes to get this kind of stuff. Better in our hands than theirs. How much have you got in there?"

"Probably enough for Neo and I to retire comfortably, rich and happy."

Roman seemed about to retort, before he said, "Yeah. Well, to be honest…I'd rather she be happy. Hey, Neo, you ever get around to telling the new kid about how I found you?"

She shook her head. "What do you mean?" Harry asked.

"Kid…when I first found Neo…she had been brought before the Boss. Remember that guy Junior? The Boss was his uncle, and a right piece of work. Now, I'm a scumbag, I'll admit it, but the Boss? He was probably the most ruthless crime lord in the whole of the Vale, and the only reason he got away with it was because he paid off the right people. Even then, I heard that old Ozpin was considering sending in a Hunter. And…well, the Boss liked 'em young. Neo's sixteen, but when we met…well, she was ten. She'd been brought before him, nominally about some business deal to act as a thief, as she already had a reputation…but in truth…"

Harry scowled. "…So what happened?"

Neo smirked, before she showed off the blade in her parasol. "Neo happened," Roman said with a smirk of his own. "You see, I had been called to the Boss for, allegedly, poaching on his turf. Paranoid old bastard wanted to off me, so I intended to take pre-emptive action. Junior and I were already friends…well, acquaintances. And what do I come across but Neo having singlehandedly mangled the Boss and his men? The Boss was still alive, but barely, given how much his insides were on the outside. Neo finished him off when I said my piece, and after she washed herself off, she told me…well, with a pen and paper, that she wanted ice cream. Neapolitan, to be precise."

"…Oh, now I get it," Harry said, looking at Neo's hair. She rolled her eyes, as if to say, Took you long enough, before she strutted over to a fridge, and pulled out a tub of Neapolitan ice cream. "…So, if I'm part of this organisation, I'm not going to have to kill anyone?"

"Only if they're trying to kill us first, newbie. Killing people gets more attention than theft, and the VPD have their hands full trying to deal with the White Fang. Oh, another thing Neo will have to teach you about. Little tip. If you see people with animal ears or tails, don't stare. They don't like it. Those are Faunus."

Huh. Another thing to get up to speed about on this world. Then again, while he wasn't sure he wanted to be in Roman's company (and Neo's was looking a bit shaky, given that she was Bellatrix Lestrange's daughter), he was stuck with them for the time being. And maybe this would be the fresh start he needed…

CHAPTER 2 ANNOTATIONS:

So, Harry's met the parent…well, big brother figure, of Neo. Hilarity ensues.

How Neo met Roman is a variation on a backstory I've used for two of my other RWBY crossovers, Neopolitan and the Goblet of Fire, and Pulvis et Umbra Sumus.

No numbered annotations this time.