A/N: I really tried, I really really did, you know, to be the adult in the room though I happen to be one of the younger writers on this forum. But I was notified that my name was evoked again in that comment section. I did try to remain civil. I will go back and complete the chapter when I return from vacation and have access to a fully-functional internet connection...in the meantime, voila.
Wow, Brenda, the "Unfriend?" Does that make you a "Karen" since you are back to name-calling. Your comments are not surprising, so let me go through point by point and name the deficiencies.
Brenda: "One of our recent Guests, along with a number of others, claims that Jane has, in this story, betrayed her sister. A certain Unfriend of ours elsewhere even likens her actions to those of Judas Iscariot. But Jane does no such thing."
Rebuttal: To start, the FUNDAMENTAL question simply is: at the moment Elizabeth shares the info in Darcy's letter, WHO is Darcy to Jane? At first, Darcy is Bingley's friend when he momentarily courted her in Meryton. At the time of the letter, he is essentially Elizabeth's ex and love interest. Who is Elizabeth to Jane? Her sister, best-friend, and closest confidant.
So, what you're telling me in your defense is that Jane's pity for Darcy surpassed her LOYALTY to her sister? Her best friend! Furthermore, this Jane did NOT tell Elizabeth (the same Elizabeth who shared that same letter from Darcy), or the Gardiners that she went and gave a letter to a man she barely knows. Really you call that HONESTY?! If that is not officious, and nosy - then I don't know what is. She is literally pushing herself onto this man (Darcy) who did not ask for her company or advice. If Caroline did this we would castigate the behaviour. (Remember Caroline offering to sharpen Darcy's pen? Or you don't remember that part of the book since you didn't read it?) Jane is acting like a tramp, a whore, a gold-digger...choose whichever verb fits.
I can only assume that you don't have any sisters, I would NEVER, EVER do that to my sisters, to go behind her back, reach out to her former ex WITHOUT letting her know. Futhermore, to go behind my uncle/aunt/family's protection in the name of PITY for a man who CAME to my hometown and INSULTED, my sister and best friend, and everyone that I love and the community that helped raise me. At its most basic, fundamental level, that is NOT LOYALTY nor the behaviour of someone who is TRUSTWORTHY. But then again, you Dear Sir readers are of a different breed.
Brenda: "Lizzy repeatedly avers that she does not love Darcy and is not drawn to him, though she eventually concedes that she will put up with him if he and Jane get together.
Jane gives Lizzy many chances to assert a claim to Darcy. Lizzy specifically denies such a claim. Jane does not proceed without being certain that her sister's feelings are not engaged – as, in this story, they are not."
Rebuttal: The actions by Jane that you point out to is by someone trying to clean up their act AFTER the fact. If Jane is as wonderful as you and Gykinga and the others are trying to make her be, she would have been HONEST from the beginning. And honest with EVERYONE, starting with Elizabeth! She would have said, 'I am going to reach out to Darcy and apologize on your (Elizabeth) behalf for the insulting way you rejected him.'
She never gave Elizabeth such courtesy. Not once. She acted with her selfish interest in mind. And mind you, Gykinga used this plot method because from what has been stated previously, she believes Austen didn't write the story well (her own words - I am sure there are PLENTY of people who would confer this). And she acts like she knows better than Austen and that she believes Elizabeth was stupid not to accept Darcy's insulting proposal. So here comes Jane, with her letter ready to stroke Darcy;s bruised ego (and perhaps other thing...but I digress). And that Darcy, being stupid and egotistical laps it up.
Brenda: "Jane does not "betray" Lizzy. Any assertion that she does assumes that Jane knows how matters would play out if she did not act - which is, of course, impossible."
Rebuttal: Answer me this, if Jane does not "Betray Lizzy," then why didn't she tell Elizabeth (and the Gardiners by extension) why she went to his (Darcy) house to hand him that letter? Do you think, the wise, reasonably-minded Gardiners would have encouraged such brazen actions from their niece?
If you had your common-sense working and currently functional, you would know this has been the main issue - everyone who has read Austen has pointed out. The plot is fundamentally weak. ABYSMALLY WEAK! And if I can tear it to shreds (me! - a kid in uni) can you imagine what an editor would do? They'd trash this attempt (because it is no story) like discarded wrap, simply garbage after eating an afternoon snack.
Here, since were are trying to be "nice," I included some passages from the last chapter I wrote a while back. I also want to thank you for giving me inspiration for Chapter 4. You're not fully useless after all, you lot that is. Who knew?
EXCERPT: A MEETING OF TRUE MINDS
"Good G-d we are finished," Darcy cried. "I hope to never read such appalling drivel again."
"Well, I am sorry to say, given this sample before us you will sorely be disappointed. Unfortunately, this lady is determined to make a mockery of my work. And will not take such an offence with indifference. I am kind enough to set the record right."
"The latter portion was mortifying in every way." Darcy stated. "What sort of person goes on to relate such intimate details of their lives and thoughts to a complete stranger?"
Beside him Elizabeth echoed similar thoughts, "It reminds me of Wickham that evening at my Aunt Phillips when he related his affairs so soon after making our acquaintance."
"Jane?" Miss Austen called to her. "What did you think of the remaining segment of the letter?"
"Utterly abysmal. Why would I recommend myself to a man I hardly know? Again, I reiterate, why should I talk ill of my sister? Promote myself to a man who never desired my company. It is unseemly."
"It is no different than the behaviour Caroline often displayed whilst we were at Netherfield," Bingley noted. "And what Darcy was was accustomed to in society. Hardly a way to attract the attention of fine men."
"No, I consider such comportment to be demeaning," Darcy concluded.
"Miss Brady thinks it is the golden pathway towards winning your heart," Elizabeth teased her husband.
"Then she is wrong. I spent nigh a decade fighting fathers, mothers, and daughters who acted in such hoydenish ways. Miss Brady's Darcy must be a weak, pitiful creature to fall for such trickery."
"My dear Darcy," Miss Austen smiled in commiseration, "weak and pitiful are hardly apt descriptions with which to portray the caricature Miss Brady has made you out to be."
Darcy groaned at such a report, "Then she is beyond redemption."
"And I am of a mind to concur with such an opinion."
I'll come back and re-write more appropriately. Let me know if there's a part of the illogical defense I did not address. Thanks for the encouragement and support.
