Monkeying with Fate
Ron opened his eyes, he was lying on a really comfortable bed in a room with a serious amount of orange on the walls. His last memory was of facing down Monkey Fist and Yono, to save the world, but more importantly to save his little sister. A sacrifice had been needed and he'd made it.
He stretched and put his hands behind his head. It had been a good life and he had no regrets. Well, except the fact that he'd never gotten close enough to someone to make love. He'd had a number of gorgeous intelligent women in his life and he'd never gotten more than a kiss!
He closed his eyes, meditated the way Master Sensei had taught him and the world lit up around him. There was magic everywhere he looked. As his aura reached out to touch the walls he could feel the magic, young and eager like a puppy.
It was quite different from his last life where all the magic he found was old and dignified, like an elder statesman or possibly a duck.
Ron's eyes snapped open as he felt the magic within himself, a spark of creation with no direction. He paused and examined that thought. It had no direction, but it did have a nature or maybe just a slight inclination to home and family, love and fertility.
He smiled at that. It looked like this life would definitely have what he'd missed in the last one.
And finally, he turned his attention to his memories of this life, which he'd unconsciously avoided. The silvery mass of thoughts and memories was small, much smaller than he'd expected in fact, his memories of nearly twenty years of life as Ron Stoppable dwarfed the tiny silver ball.
With a mental shrug he swallowed it and experienced the life of Ron Weasley.
It became immediately apparent why it had been so small, Ron Weasley had not been a deep thinker and he was only eleven fricken years old!
"I'm not going to get laid for like half a decade," Ron groaned as he got up.
He examined himself in the mirror on his bedroom door. "Puberty better be kind to me or I'm going to register a complaint."
"It's done alright by Charlie and Bill," his reflection replied, "so it looks like as long as you get a lot of physical exercise and don't sit around like a lump, you'll be fine."
"Good point," Ron said, deciding he'd have to train like he had at Yamanouchi. Well, eventually. To be fair his body was in no way ready for what he'd gone through in his last life and wouldn't be for years.
Looking out the window he realized he was up hours before everyone else, so he got out his school trunk, an old battered one that Bill had passed down to him.
Recalling Bill's interest in Runes long before he'd gone into ward breaking, Ron took a second look at his trunk. Bill had said he'd reinforced its structure and stability so he didn't have to worry about breaking it or anything inside spilling while moving it around, but that seemed a bit tame for someone who went into a rune intensive field like ward breaking.
Emptying the trunk he searched it, running his hands along all the surfaces on it to search for hidden runes.
He found runes aplenty, not that it did him any good, as he realized he didn't know anything about runes, so he couldn't figure out what each of them did, but he found that knocking on the back panel of the trunk gave off a hollow sound that you didn't get knocking on the outside.
An exhaustive search located two identical knotholes, one on either bottom corner. Putting his index finger on both he pushed them and the panel swung loosely like it was on a hinge.
Ron checked to make sure he hadn't broken anything, but the other side was fine, he'd discovered an expanded space inside his trunk!
Climbing inside he pushed it open revealing… a lot of empty bottles and trash.
"You've got to be kidding me," Ron groaned.
With a sigh he climbed out of his trunk and went down to the kitchen to get some trash bags. It looked like he had some cleaning to do.
It took Ron well over an hour and four trips downstairs with full bags to clean out all the trash. He had no idea how much Bill drank while in school, but he was pretty sure it wasn't nearly enough to explain this amount of empty liquor bottles.
The top layer had been mostly butter beer with a few fire whiskeys for variety along with a lot of candy wrappers, broken quills, and crumpled up parchment, some of which were attempts at love letters.
He set the parchment aside to go through later. A little blackmail material on his older brother could come in handy the next time he visited.
The deeper he'd gotten the older the bottles had been. He'd ended up putting a couple dozen of the oldest ones in his closet as they looked like they were worth some money.
There were a stack of books and magazines scattered among the trash. None of the books were for the classes he was taking and the magazines definitely weren't, but he decided to keep them anyway, leaving them in the corner of the now empty compartment which turned out to be a five foot square cube.
A load of gold, or the secrets of magic would have been great, but he supposed a stack of porn and some extra space wasn't bad either.
He used some of the extra space to take along things he wasn't sure he'd need before closing the compartment and repacking his trunk, discovering he'd forgotten a number of things when he'd packed it last night.
He collapsed on his bed with a sigh.
*Knock*Knock*
"Time to get up," Molly said cheerfully as she peeked her head in his room and was pleasantly surprised to find Ron already awake and his trunk apparently packed as nothing was laying out. In fact, much to her shock, his room appeared to be clean.
"Dibs on the shower," Ron said, getting up. He smiled, memories of absent parents and weeks spent alone in an empty house washed away by loving and chaotic ones.
"Breakfast will be ready when you're done," Molly promised.
That put a spring in his step and Ron hurried to wash up, his stomach demanding a sacrifice.
OoOoOoOoOo
Molly raised an eyebrow as Ron was clean and dressed in a lot less time than expected and had started setting the table without being asked. She made him a plate to tide him over while she finished up.
"Thanks, Mum." Ron beamed. This is what he'd wanted in his last life and had almost found with his best friend's family.
His father came down next. "Ready for Hogwarts?" he asked Ron, before receiving a kiss and the morning paper form his wife.
"Everything but the sorting, which the twins have told me horror stories about," Ron replied.
"The sorting is nothing to be worried about," Molly assured him, "it's simply tradition that you don't know about it in advance. It's more fun that way."
"So, it's not painful or dangerous and you can't be flunked out before classes even start?" Ron asked hopefully.
"Those boys," Molly said shaking her head.
"It's none of those thing," Arthur assured him, "and that's all we'll say on the matter."
"That's fine," Ron said relieved.
Percy came down a few minutes later followed by Ginny and then the twins and Ron soaked in the chaos and banter with a grin.
0o00o0o0o0o0o00o0
"I wanna go too," Ginny complained as they got ready to depart and were standing by the car.
"Next year you will," Ron assured her. He didn't like the memories he had of how he'd treated her before, as half of them had him treating her like a pest as he got older and didn't want to be treated like a child or be seen doing girly things.
Ginny looked surprised that he was being so nice and he knew he deserved it, which made it hurt that much more.
"But what if I don't get my letter?" she asked worriedly.
Ron pulled out his wand. It was old and bound with spellotape, but it worked. "Lumos," he said, causing it to light up before passing it to her.
Ginny held the wand and look at him confused.
"Go ahead, say it," he encouraged her.
She took a deep breath. "Lumos," she incanted intently, and the tip flickered and lit up, but it wasn't nearly as bright as her smile.
"I'll definitely be seeing you in school next September," Ron told her, before she nearly tackled him in a hug.
Ron hugged her back, eyes a little damp, it was good to have family!
Getting to the train station turned out to be more difficult than expected as they kept having to go back for things up to and including one of the twins who'd been overlooked in the rush. Ron and Ginny relaxed through it all, sitting in the corner of the backseat in the magically expanded car and talked. Ginny looked a thousand times more relaxed now that she no longer had to worry if she was a squib or not.
Molly helped some orphan kid get through the wall to reach the platform while he talked with Ginny and she made him promise to write.
"Every day," Ginny said.
"Every week," Ron corrected. "Every day would feel like a chore and be really boring, but every week should have enough stuff to write about to give you a decent letter."
"Ok," she agreed after a few seconds of thought.
"You're up Ron," Arthur said, smiling proudly at how his youngest son had cheered his little sister up.
Ginny gave him one last hug before he ran through the barrier and onto the platform.
OoOoOoOoOo
"Mind if I join you?" Ron asked. "The other compartments are either full, have people I wouldn't get along with in them, or are further away requiring me to drag my trunk even further, and my arm already feels like it's about to fall off."
The boy laughed. "Sure, come on in."
"Ron Weasley," Ron introduced himself.
"Harry Potter," the boy replied.
"Are you having me on?" Ron asked surprised.
"No, see?" Harry moved his hair aside to reveal a lightning bolt shaped scar on his forehead.
"Oh, well sorry for being surprised but it's kinda like running into… Freddie Mercury on a bus," Ron said, picking a famous muggle singer from Britain.
"I suppose it would be a surprise," Harry agreed.
"Just so you know, a lot of people are going to ask you loads of stupid questions," Ron warned him.
"Yeah, I'm kinda dreading that," Harry admitted.
"And I am one of those people," Ron said. "So, let's begin."
"Wait, what?"
"Does your scar do anything?" Ron asked with a grin.
"It hurts occasionally. What could a scar actually do?" Harry asked confused, as the train started moving.
"In the wizarding world? Who knows?" Ron replied. "Magic is awesome and confusing." He stuck his head out the window and waved at Ginny and his parents.
"Can I ask some questions?" Harry asked as Ron closed the window and sat down.
"Sure, I'll answer even stupid questions, since I ask enough of them," Ron replied.
Harry laughed. "I've only seen a little of the magic world, what's it all like?"
"That's a tough one," Ron said. "Let's see… It's pretty much like everywhere else in some ways. I mean you have good people and bad, rich and poor. From what I've seen of the muggle world, the magical world is something like the middle ages. See magical people live longer, so we change slower as the older generation holds on to the reins of power and stays in political seats for centuries. Magic makes so much easy that a lot of things haven't needed to change." Ron gestured to the lamps in the car. "No need for light bulbs that have to be replaced because magic keeps them lit."
Harry nodded slowly.
"I'm probably making a mess of this," Ron said, "but that's because I've never really thought about it. Ok, let me put it this way. We still have duels, political marriages still happen, and the papers can print all sorts of lies."
"That's awful," Harry said.
"Yeah, that's the downside," Ron agreed. "The upside is living a couple of centuries and a load of awesome things you can't even imagine right now. Magic is…"
"Great but terrible?" Harry guessed.
"It can be great, it can be terrible," Ron agreed. "It's like… life turned up to eleven, everything is magnified. Muggles wonder if they'll ever meet intelligent non-human species, we have tons of them. Muggles have all these stories about people with special powers saving the day, but every single witch and wizard has them beat."
"Teleport?"
"Apparation is what we call it. You have to be sixteen and get licensed," Ron explained.
"Flying?"
"On specially made brooms and carpets," Ron said.
"Super strong?"
"Re'ems blood, which is restricted," Ron replied.
"Breathing underwater?" Harry asked, recalling Aquaman.
"Bubble head charm," Ron replied. "It also helps when someone drops a dung bomb or messes up a potion."
"Wow, that's a lot," Harry admitted.
"That's just scratching the surface," Ron assured him. "Life is what you make it and magic makes that more than a saying. Decide what kind of world you want and if you've got the balls you can create it."
"Ok, you've sold me," Harry said, "Magic is awesome!"
"Yeah, it's only terrible when people like -" Ron began.
The compartment door slid open with a bang interrupting him and revealing three young boys, one a thin blond boy and two larger dark haired ones behind him.
"I heard Harry Potter was on the train," the blond said stepping into the compartment uninvited, "are you him?"
"I am," Harry agreed standing up, "and this is -"
"Shabby clothes, red hair, more kids than money," blondie interrupted rudely with a sneer, "obviously a Weasley."
Ron grinned and waved, completely unaffected.
"Well I'm Draco Malfoy," the blond boy introduced himself, a bit off balance by Ron's cheerful response, "and I can introduce you to all the 'right' people." He offered his hand.
Not liking the way Draco had insulted his new friend Harry ignored the hand. "I think I can decide the right people for myself, thanks."
Draco began to turn red when Ron spoke up. "Malfoy, Harry has not been trained in the social niceties. Harry, even if you dislike his politics you still shake his hand, because not shaking his hand is like spitting on him. Unless you suspect someone is trying to trick you or you plan on killing them, always shake their hand."
Both boys looked surprised at that and Ron wondered if it was different in the magical world than it was in his first life. Global Justice had made him sit through a lot of lectures, sometimes twice!
Harry quickly shook Draco's Hand. "I doubt we'll be friends, but I don't have anything against you."
"Likewise," a confused Draco replied before retreating.
As the door closed Harry turned to Ron. "Thanks for that, I almost made an enemy for life."
"He's probably still going to end up your enemy, you just don't have to make it personal," Ron said. "See, we got the Dark families who vote to try and make it so anyone who isn't pureblood is a second class citizen, if they are allowed to exist at all, and then we have the Light families who try not to judge people solely by blood purity. Guess which side Draco's family is part of?"
"The Dark families," Harry said.
"Exactly," Ron said. "It's all a lot more complicated of course, but I refuse to learn anything more about it, I hate politics."
"So, people are going to look down on me because my mum was muggleborn?" Harry asked nervously.
"Harry, there are people who will look down on you for the color of your hair or because you aren't kissing their arse, some people just suck," Ron said. "Of course that makes it easy to tell who is not worth your time."
"Everything good and bad about the world turned up to eleven," Harry said as he sat down.
"Exactly," Ron said cheerfully.
"Know anything about the sorting?" Harry asked hopefully.
"It's not painful, difficult, and you can't screw it up," Ron replied. "Also, they think it's fun to keep it a secret."
"That's a relief," Harry said. "So, which house do you think you'll be going to?"
"Gryffindor," Ron replied.
"How do you know?"
"Because all my family goes to Gryffindor," Ron replied. "See, Slytherin is for the ambitious, so you get all the Dark families or at least ninety percent of them. I suppose they might have one or two decent people. Malfoy is definitely going to end up there."
"Doesn't sound like some place I'd like," Harry said.
"Ravenclaw is for the bookworms," Ron said, "it's like fifty fifty Dark as knowledge is power."
"I'm not a bookworm, but I do want to learn all the magic I can," Harry admitted.
"Same here," Ron agreed. "Hufflepuff is like eighty twenty Light as it's about hard work and loyalty… think sheep."
"Doesn't sound like I'd like that either," Harry said.
"And finally, Gryffindor is the house of the brave and is ninety five percent Light," Ron explained. "My family always goes into Gryffindor."
"I hope I get that house," Harry said.
"So do I," Ron said. "If I get Slytherin I think I'd withdraw and ask to be homeschooled, though I guess Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff are alright."
The door slid open and there was a lady with a trolley there. "Do either of you children want anything off the cart?"
"Want? Yeah," Ron admitted. "Afford? Nope."
"I'll take a couple of everything," Harry said as he saw his first chance to buy wizarding candy.
After the trolley had left Harry saw Ron glance at the pile of sweets and offered him some.
"Only if you'll accept a roast beef sandwich," Ron said pulling out his lunch and offering half to him.
"That sounds great," Harry said, his stomach growling at the sight of real food.
Once they'd finished the sandwiches and had started in on the candy Harry asked, "So why do so many people follow this blood purity nonsense?"
"Because it lets them feel special and there's something to it, just not a lot in most cases," Ron replied.
"So pure bloods are better than muggleborn?" Harry asked in disbelief.
"Nope, not even a little," Ron assured him, "but pureblood lines can carry magical traits that muggleborns don't get. Like I said, it's not all that important in most cases."
"Like what?" Harry asked.
"Metamorphs are one of the big ones, but that only allows you to change how you look at will and we have potions and spells for that," Ron explained. "Like I said it's really not a big deal, but they like to claim it is."
"Good, I'd hate to find out they were right," Harry said.
"Bigots rarely are," Ron assured him.
"Has either of you seen a toad?" a bushy haired girl with buck teeth asked, making them wonder how long she'd been standing there.
"Nope," Harry replied while Ron just shook his head.
She stepped back outside, sliding the door closed.
"Quiet little cat feet," Ron suggested with a shrug.
"Or we were just too distracted talking to notice," Harry said.
"Mine's funnier," Ron replied with a grin.
Harry rolled his eyes and grinned.
"Wanna break out the books and see what superpowers we can gain before we get there?" Ron asked.
Harry grinned. "Sounds like fun."
Typing by: fyrewolf5 (for the first time ever, I think I deciphered everything correctly)
AN: Ginnymylove left a review wanting to replace Ron Weasley with Ron Stoppable so here it is.
TN: Well this was an interesting one, and makes me wonder who other people from the KPverse would be reincarnated as in the HPverse. Drakken as Snape, would probably dramatically improve the quality of the class (bonus points for listening to monologues without falling asleep), DN Amy as Hagrid, gender swapped or not. Rufus as Dobby? For crackyness Shego as Hermione; "Ronald Bilius Weasley, I said this is your study schedule, you will follow it, or we'll play 'Ron goes ouch' understand?" Ron sits on a couch in the Gryffindor common room with a quidditch magazine staring in horror, as Hermione's hand glows a green far more terrifying than even the dreaded killing curse, watching as his last chocolate frog slowly burns away.
