Ch3: We All Face Doubt

A/N: Guys your reviews are amazing! Everyone has been so sweet and it's making me want to write more and more! Please keep reviewing if you're reading and let me know what you think.- Katharine

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Driving through the streets of Boston on a Friday night was never exactly a safe thing to do- but Lucas did it nonetheless with not a care in the world. He was in utter bliss and shock by what had happened with Brooke and kept replaying every part of their night over and over again in his head. He found himself wondering what it would've been like if he had gone inside with her. He thought about how making love to that girl would be the closest thing to ecstasy.

He felt his phone vibrate in his pant pocket and, struggling, went to get it out. Once he did he looked at the screen that was glowing in the darkness. '12 Missed Calls'. Shit. He had just recently turned his phone back on and wasn't expecting there to be any calls but clearly, he was wrong.

Bzzz. Bzzz. Bzzz.

Glancing down at the Caller ID, the word 'Home' glowed brightly on the screen and he flipped it open, accepting the call.

"Hey baby I'm on my way ho-" He began, making a turn as the light turned green.

"Where the FUCK are you Lucas? COME HOME RIGHT NOW I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!"

"Peyton calm down I'm on my way home Jesus Christ what's wrong with you?" He asked, well, kind of yelled into the receiver, shocked by her sudden outburst.

"Where the hell have you been all night Luke!"

Lucas, who still slightly shell shocked by everything, wasn't exactly paying attention to the road or where he was going. The next time he looked up all he saw were two bright headlights, causing him to turn almost immediately and swerve into a little tree nearby.

Lucas' deep blue eyes watched as the tiny decorative tree began to slowly fall down on his car.

"No, no, no, no, no!" He groaned as the tree finally came to contact with his car and made what looked like a tiny dent.

Remembering that Peyton was still on the phone, screaming at him, he put the phone back to his ear and yelled into the receiver.

"Peyton! I got into a car accident I'll be home soon!" He said, hanging up before she could finish the 'Fuck you!' she had started.

Lucas sat there leaning back in his seat full of disbelief. He smacked the steering wheel out of anger. He was so unsure of everything and everyone and he had no idea where things even began to go wrong. Or…right?

"What're you doing?" He asked himself in a quiet tone before punching the steering wheel out of stress. "WHAT'RE YOU DOING?" He asked again, this time yelling at himself for letting his oh-so-perfect life get out of hand.

After several deep breathes, he pulled out of the little tree incident area and took off to go home. Everything would be fine. He had been out with Jake all night. Jake would back him up.

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He parked the car roughly in front of the house and got out, running up to the porch and through the front door where he found Peyton coming out of the kitchen, eyes watery and full of fear.

"Where were you?" She asked in a quiet, calmer tone then the one she used during their previous phone conversation.

"I told you I was with Jake all night…we had plans" He said with a nod in his innocent, brooding voice.

Peyton just looked at him, her face squinched up with hurt and disgust as she shook her head.

"You're a dirty liar!" She shouted to him, not bothering to hide the pain in her voice.

Lucas looked at her as if she were on fire as he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

"I'm not a liar, Peyton!" He said as he looked at the screen showing that Jake was calling. "Look see it's Jake right now you can even ask him!" He said while flipping it open.

"Hey"

"Peyton knows everything I didn't tell her" Jake said in one, deep, scared breath leaving a wide eyed Lucas to simply just shut the phone and put it back into his pocket with out another sound.

"Oh so what you don't want me to ask him anymore?" Peyton exclaimed, knowing full well what he had just found out.

"Peyton listen…"

"WHO THE FUCK IS SHE LUCAS!"

Lucas let out a long, sad sigh as realization came over him. She knew and she was going to find out the details one way or another. But maybe there was still hope. Maybe he could play this cool and not let anything slip. Or…maybe not.

"She's just a friend…" He said quietly as he looked into Peyton's big honey eyes, pleadingly.

"Oh my God…" Peyton began, absolutely disgusted. She was hoping she had been wrong this entire time but now as the truth began to unfold she felt worse then she had ever felt before. "Did you sleep with her!" She nearly shouted as more anger rose.

"No! Jesus Christ Peyton I wouldn't do that to you!"

"Then what the hell happened!"

"We just kissed Peyton I swear it didn't mean anything-" He began after a moment of silence as Peyton brought her hands to her head in sadness and anger.

"How many times?" She asked, fearing his response.

He bit his lower lip as he came over closer to her and looked down, debating whether or not he should tell the truth.

"Several…" He said in a still, quiet voice as he felt her tiny fists begin to pound into his chest.

"Why'd you do it?"

"I- I was scared...I mean I just felt trapt in this relationship, Peyton..." He said truthfully.

"FUCK YOU! YOU'RE A FUCKING ASS HOLE GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!" She yelled as she ran into the kitchen, angrier then she had ever been before.

"Peyton relax it didn't mean anything!" He began as his phone began to buzz once more but before he could answer it, Peyton snatched it away from him to look at it, her face full of disgust as she looked at the Caller ID.

"Brooke! She said, throwing the phone as hard as she could and hitting him in the stomach. "You already have that little whore programmed on your cell phone!" She said, shaking her head, ridding her tears. "Get out. GET THE FUCK OUT!"

"Peyton what the fuck is your fucking problem nothing the fuck happened!"

"GET OUT RIGHT FUCKING NOW!" She said, grabbing the knife from the counter and edging closer to him.

"What Peyton huh? WHAT YOU'RE GONNA FUCKING STAB ME!" He said, angry now himself. "You're fucking psychotic!"

"GET. THE. FUCK. OUT. ASS HOLE!"

"FUCK YOU PEYTON!"

"LEAVE!"

And with that, he left, slamming the door as hard as he could behind him, angrier than he had been in a long time.

"Fucking bitch…" He muttered once he was in the car alone before taking several deep breaths, shocked by the argument he and Peyton had just had. He felt his cell phone buzz again, indicating someone was calling.

Without bothering to look at the ID, he answered it, still sitting in the darkness of his car.

"Hello?" He said in a deep, out of breath tone.

"Hey, don't hang up!" Came the quick, nervous voice of the girl he had just had the most amazing night with. "Look I'm so sorry about before, I think- God I must've had too much to drink or something but…" She stopped for a moment before continuing. "If I promise not to try and kiss you or anything, would you come over here and talk to me?"

Lucas could sense the plead in her voice as she spoke and he thought about how there was nothing else he'd rather do right now then be with Brooke.

"I really, need to talk to you…" She added, making him want to see her even more.

"I'll be right there"

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Making his way up the stairs of her apartment building, her finally found her room and knocked on the wooden door three full times, anxious about what was going to happen. When she came to the door, she had on a plain gray tank top and silk, navy shorts. Her hair fell freely around her shoulder and her make up from earlier was slightly smudged in a sexy way.

"Hi…" She said in a soft, quiet voice.

"Hey" He responded, nervous.

"I promise I won't touch you…" She said in a voice that sounded as if she truely meant it.

They stared at each other in silence for a while before the intensity of everything caved in and his arms were around her waist and hers' around his neck, playing with his hair.

The kiss deepened almost immediately as she pulled him into her room, shutting the door hard behind him, their lips never leaving each other's. His hands roamed up and down her waist, the feelings of nervousness long since forgotten. They kissed hard and rough, so hard that he had her slammed hard against the wall, kissing every part of her body that was un-clothed. He let his hand go to her inner thigh and rubbed it hard, making her squirm with desire. He kissed her with all he had in him, as did she.

Brooke began to slide his jacket off his shoulders and through it at a random space at her place, not caring where it landed. She broke the kiss to pull off his shirt and he almost immediately went for her tank top, throwing it to the floor. He felt himself harden even more when he saw she didn't have a bra on. Her breasts against his bare chest was just the thing he needed at the moment.

"Mmmm"

He smiled at the sound she made as she slipped out of her shorts. He noticed she had on a simple black thong; the little barrier of fabric was driving him crazy. He slipped his finger so that it was between the thong and her center and pulled the thong off, letting them stay on the ground where they were.

He lifted her up by her tiny frame and pushed everything of the desk that she had, ignoring the lamp that had fallen and broke. It didn't matter anyway. He plopped her down on the desk and nipped at her perfectly perky breasts as she undid his pants and boxers, allowing him to step out of them.

He wrapped one strong arm around her middle and tossed her on the nearest bed where she looked at him eagerly. Their eyes never left one another's as he began to climb on top of her.

"This is what I want. We don't have to worry about tomorrow…" She said quietly causing him to nod before sliding himself into her, slowly at first.

He saw her eyes flutter close at the sudden hardness going into her and it made his body tingle. This girl was driving him absolutely crazy. And crazy had never felt so damn good before in his life. He began to thrust in and out of her harder as they both shared the complete and utter ecstasy of being with one another.

Brooke basically had to bit the inside of her cheek to keep from screaming out with a mixture of pleasure and pain.

"Oh my God Lucas don't stop… Make love to me all night…"

He thrusted harder and harder, going deeper each time, loving the way she gripped the sheets at her side for dear life. The way her hair was starting to stick to her face. The whole situation made him want her more. The fact that he had a girlfriend and that it was wrong, forbidden, un-allowed. He shuddered with pleasure at the thought as he pounded into her more and more, groaning with pure lust.

"Jesus fucking Christ Brooke…" He said, his eyes clamped shut as he released into her.

They both climaxed together in one big overwhelming sensation of pleasure as they lay there, panting and out of breathe. After several minutes of silence, not counting the heavy breathing, Brooke turned on her side and straddled his lap, pushing him back against the bed.

"This time, I'm on top"

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Knock. Knock. Knock.

Jake stood at the door, planning out in his head what he was going to say to the woman he loved for 13 years, to the woman whom he had a child with. How he was going to end this he didn't know. But he needed to get out.

"Where the hell were you, Jake?" Rachel asked, angry as she opened the door for him then went back over to the kitchen. He walked in and shut the door behind him, following her closely behind, smiling at Jenny who was sitting in her baby chair, eating what looked like smashed up peas.

"I was hanging out with Tim and Nathan… Listen I-"

"Oh great! Well when you were off 'hanging out' with your friends, I was stuck here in baby hell with Jenny!"

"I'm sorry Rachel I really am…" He began, picking up Jenny who started to cry. This made Rachel snatch her away from him and began to 'coo' her before setting her back down in her chair.

"Seriously Jake what is wrong with you? Can you not do anything right? God you're so stupid!" She shouted at him, obviously annoyed.

"Listen Rachel we need to talk…" His voice was quiet now and her face immediately softened. "I can't do this anymore…" He said sadly.

"What do you mean?" She asked, confused.

"Us. I can't do 'us' Rachel. I mean, I thought having this baby would bring us closer together. I thought it'd be the perfect way to become a family again. But all it's done is bring us further apart…"

"Jake…what the hell are you talking about?" She said, tears from her fear of being left in her eyes.

"I can't do this. I'm tired of being told I'm stupid or- or not good enough…" He admitted sadly, his big brown eyes brimming with tears.

"Get out. Stop by tomorrow to get your stuff but just get the fuck out. Leave. You're NEVER going to see me, OR your daughter ever again!" She shouted, tears of anger flooding from her eyes.

"Rachel please…" He began, still calm but sad in a tired way. "I don't want our daughter to grow up hating us- and she will if this is how we always are!" He exclaimed. "If we stay together unhappy all her life she'll resent us so much and I don't want that, Rach" He pleaded, sadness overcoming his voice.

Rachel, by this time, had already made her way to the front door and held it open for him, tears flowing down her cheeks.

"LEAVE!" She shouted through her tears. "JUST LEAVE! Get the fuck out! Go! And don't come back cause you're never going to see us again! Leave!" She shouted at him, leaving a very sad Jake standing there, unsure of what to say or do. "Just go" She said, more quietly now. "Please"

The desperation in her voice almost made Jake's knees give in. He looked into the kitchen at Jenny who was still sitting there crying and then looked back to Rachel who was still holding the door for him. He began to walk towards the door and stopped to look Rachel in the eyes before continuing to walk past the front door and into the bedroom instead.

Rachel closed the front door and leaned against it, sliding all the way down with her head in her hands, crying.

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Lucas awoke slowly; embracing the sun that came pouring in threw the windows. He looked down at the vision of beauty at his side and furrowed his brows at her sleeping figure as memories of the previous night came back to his head.

"Shit…"

He muttered quietly as he stealthily made his way out of bed and got his clothes on as quickly and quietly as humanly possible. Before leaving, her turned to look at her and how peaceful she looked with the beautiful rays of sun shining down on her as if she were an angel.

Once he was halfway down the stairwell, he reached into his pocket to grab his keys but then had a mini panic attack, seeing as they weren't there. Great. He thought as he turned on heel to go back up to her room to look from them, nearly colliding with a guy on the way up.

Once he got to the hallway, he saw her standing outside her door with her arms crossed sadly. She was dressed now, wearing the same gray tank top but this time, with light red PJ pants, showing off a sliver a skin between the two. As he made his way over to her, her hands slowly came to her hips and a knowing look came to her face.

"Why'd you leave without saying good bye?" She asked, hurt by what he had done.

"I have to go to this work thing, you know, I just I… I didn't wanna wake you up…" He explained, although it was a lie. Truthfully, he didn't know why he got up and left so quickly. He just felt guilty. He felt as if he stayed there any longer then necessary the guilt would just get worse.

"Have you seen my keys?" He asked as he made his way past her and into her room, looking around for his missing keys.

She followed him in with her arms crossed across her chest, feeling slightly used and sad.

"You can't wait to get back to her, can you?" She asked as he began to look under the bed and any other logical place.

"Can you just please help me find my keys?" He asked hopefully, not wanting to talk about Peyton at the moment.

"What did I do?" Her voice was higher then the last time she used it and full with vulnerability. She was clearly on the verge of tears and it tore Lucas up inside.

He stopped mid-search and turned slowly to look at her with a sorry expression on his face as he shook his head.

"You didn't do anything, Brooke. You're amazing…" He said truthfully as he stared into her eyes.

"You were amazing. Last night was perfect…" She said, confusing clouding her features.

He stared at her for a while, not sure what to say to the beautifully broken girl in front of him. The girl who 24 hours ago was bubbling with fun and delight. He watched as she reached into the pocket of her PJ pants and pulled out the missing keys.

"Here…" She said quietly as she took a step towards him and held them out for him to take.

"Thank you" He said sincerely as he made his way over to her to take them, but not before she pulled them back looking more fragile then ever as she looked into his eyes, her own full of sadness.

"Are you gonna call me?" She asked, not wanting to look him in the eyes any longer.

"I'll call you" He said sincerely as he nodded. She handed him the keys, defeated, and watched mournfully as he walked out of her door and back into the empty hallway.

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BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG.

Lucas had tried his key at the apartment that he and Peyton shared but she had put a chain lock on it, making it impossible for him to get in- which was very aggravating.

"Unlock the door Peyton!" He called into the house, glancing through the little space he had.

"I'm packing, come back later, the house will be empty!" She called back as she poked her head out of the kitchen.

"No you have to come talk to me, things are not gonna end like this…" He called calmly as he stuck his foot in the door, trying to open it more.

"Like I did this...MOVE YOUR FOOT" She warned him as he continued speaking.

"I- I panicked I made a huge mistake- AAHHH!" He yelped out in pain as she kicked his foot out of the way and then kicked the door shut. But even as the words left his mouth, he wasn't sure whether or not he meant them.

"PEYTON OPEN THE DOOR!" He shouted, louder this time as he banged hard against it.

That's when his next-door neighbor came out, the one he shared the apartment building with. He had forgotten his name but he was a large, flamboyantly gay black man and was extremely kind.

"Lucas? Is anything wrong?" He asked with worry, although his voice reminded Lucas somewhat of a valley girl.

"Everything's fine I just locked myself out.." He began to explain before banging on the door, much harder this time. "PEYTON OPEN THE DOOR!"

That's when Peyton's head poked through the space that the chain held together, her eyes were red and puffy indicating that she had been crying.

"I can do whatever the hell I want, we're not married remember? We're both free just like you wanted" She said with malicious sarcasm dripping from every word.

"I made a mistake" He said quietly, pleading her forgiveness- although every time the word 'mistake' was sputtered out of his mouth, Brooke's angelic face popped into his mind.

"You're right, too late man. Move your damn FOOT!" She said angrily, and with that, slammed the door once more in his face, leaving a distraught Lucas alone on the porch.

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"I'm so sorry man…I mean we all face doubt in our lives…"

"Same…I mean with you and Rachel and everything…"

Lucas gave Jake a sad smile and Jake returned it. Tim sat on the couch silent; he hadn't spoken much since his father died.

"Yeah, I honestly have no idea what to do…I know I'm not going to end up with her because…well…she makes me feel so useless…so worthless you know?" Explained a very pained Jake.

Lucas just nodded sadly, feeling awful for everything that he was going through. It seemed like just about everyone had been going through some sort of a crisis of his or her own.

"So…what's her name?" Jake piped up after several minutes of silence.

"Brooke"

"Brooke what?"

Lucas sat there in his chair, thinking. He didn't know her last name. She was all he had been thinking about the past couple of days and he didn't even know her last name.

He shrugged a little and turned to look at Jake with a frown. "I dunno…"

Jake nodded slowly, not wanting to scold him for not knowing. It just wasn't at all necessary. Just then, Nathan Lee made his appearance with a stunningly beautiful girl at his side that was dressed in jeans and a plain teal tee shirt. Her thick, flowing blonde hair fell around her shoulders like an angel.

"Alright so we still on for dinner tonight?" She asked Nathan, who in return nodded.

"Of course sweetie. I'll pick you up at 7…oh guys hey…this is Haley, Haley this is Tim, Jake, and Lucas"

The girl, known as Haley, nodded to all of them politely.

"Nice to meet you all"

They all nodded as well and muttered some sort of hello, watching intently as Nathan leaned down and gave her a small smooch on the lips before sending her off.

"So how's she in bed?" Tim asked in a monotone voice, not really interested, just kind of looking for an excuse to speak.

Nathan shrugged at this and raked a hand through his short brown hair.

"I wouldn't know" He said nonchalantly as the Patriots game came back on.

All four guys sat in silence watching the game, all engaged in their own thoughts. Tim didn't even talk, not even when the Patriots were up 21 to nothing. They all just sat there in a comfortable silence.

It's funny how things can change so quickly. How one day you can be so sure of something, like loving someone, and then the next day be completely out of love with that same person. Like you finally come to terms with reality and just let go of what was and start to accept things for how they are now. Lucas thought, glancing at Jake.

Or how one person in your life can have such an impact on you, even if it's just for a moment. How one person can make you change your entire perspective on life and the opposite sex, and just everything in general. He gave Nathan a sideways glance as he thought of that Haley girl.

Or how the loss of someone close can leave you so undeniably broken that you start forgetting who you are and began to lose yourself all together. He looked at Tim who just stared at the TV screen with a blank look in his eyes.

Or how you can think you're set for life and you're just about ready to settle down with who you think is the 'perfect' person for you-, until you meet someone that turns your world so completely upside down and takes you on a roller coaster full of unexpected surprises. He thought of Brooke and smiled, picturing her perfect dimples that always popped up when she giggled.

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Lucas sat at a familiar setting, staring out at the lake in front of him, admiring the way the sun set on it, making a beautiful clash of colors.

He turned to look at the ladder that he used to get up to the tree house and smiled sadly as he pictured a familiar, petite brunette girl in a sinful red dress pop out from the opening. He sighed out loud as his eyes went back to the lake.

It was a peaceful day, despite the events that had happened earlier. He closed his eyes as his feet dangled over the edge, letting the wind blow them around as he sat there. He thought about how how much had changed since the last time he had been there. How on the day of the wedding he was so afraid. So scared of what was going to happen in his life. His girlfriend was pregnant with his child and he felt as if he had been forced to grow up.

He loved Peyton more then anything and he knew that for sure. He was afraid of everything that was going on with them. It was just happening so fast that he panicked and fell apart- and Brooke was there to pick up the pieces.

But then there were his feelings for Brooke. She was unlike any girl he had ever met before. She was absolutely amazing and he could really see himself loving her, he already felt like he had loved her all his life.

He squinted out at the sun as his mind flooded with thoughts of the two women in his life at the moment. Peyton was safe. She was practical and it made sense to be with her- they had been together for 3 years now and he hadn't slipped up once until he met Brooke. Peyton was perfect. She was great, she really was.

But Brooke… Brooke made him feel things he didn't even know existed. She kept him guessing, kept him on his toes. Seeing Brooke is something he was constantly looking forward to. She was beautiful, funny, smart, and just amazing. The age difference was an obstacle of course, but the smallest one he had to overcome.

He sat there, his mind fixated on a beautiful blonde and a bombshell brunette. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and he took it out, seeing 'Brooke' on the caller ID he let out a sigh.

He set his phone at his side, letting it ring, and stared out at the lake again, watching the sun slowly begin to disappear behind the lake.

Bzzz. Bzzz. Bzzz. Bzzz. Bzzz.

Hi you've reached Lucas- I'm not here right now so leave a message and I'll get back to you.

BEEP.