Previous chapters ANYASEMF003, ANYASEMF010

"And what did it do?" Twilight asked curiously.

"It allowed me to travel the cosmos," Alex said grandly. "Without it I'd never be able to get home."

"Oh no!" the two ponies chorused.

"But not to worry," Alex said, picking up his belt off the table, "I'd never use a means of travel where a single point of failure would leave me stranded."

"That's a relief," Twilight said.

"I keep a backup remote in my belt," he said flipping open a holster, "which is… also missing."

"Spike!" Twilight yelled.

A small bipedal purple dragon entered the main room of the library, a guilty look on his face.

"Spike, did you mess with his things after I specifically told you not to?" the purple unicorn demanded.

"Maybe… a little," he admitted, shrinking back.

"It's ok," Alex said, "I also keep a backup of my backup. It lacks some of the features of my favorite remote, but it'll do the job. "Alex unzipped a section of his belt to reveal a hidden compartment. "And it's gone as well."

"Maybe a bit more than a little," the small dragon admitted.

"You ate my remote, my backup remote and my reserve remote," Alex said shaking his head. "I never saw this coming, but I took precautions in case something happened to my belt with all the remotes on it."

"You can never be too prepared," Twilight said brightly, happy to find someone else who understood the importance of proper preparations.

"Indeed," Alex said, picking up his right boot. "I keep a single use remote, that is basically just a single button that can take me to a place where I can get all the stuff I need to make a new remote in the toe of my right boot."

"I think I left the oven on," Spike said trying to make a quick escape.

"Spike," Twilight growled, reminding Alex of Raven, as she levitated the small dragon into the air.

Alex frowned as he found the toe of the boot empty. "Where did you put it?"

"I ate it," Spike admitted. "I couldn't help it, they all smelled delicious!"

"It was supposed to be indestructible," Alex said numbly. "I even took the time to have it coated in transparent aluminum."

"So, you're stuck here?" Fluttershy asked softly.

"I keep a backup of that in my other boot," Alex said checking and finding it empty as well.

"It was the best candy in the world," Spike offered guiltily.

"I can rig something up with my repair kit," Alex said snapping his fingers and checking the inner pocket of his jacket. He let out a relieved sigh as he found the slim leather case.

"You mean the sampler?" Spike asked.

Alex opened it and found it empty. "Ok, I'm screwed," he said numbly. "I'm never getting home."

"It was just candy," Spike said, wondering why the strange creature seemed so upset.

"No, Spike," Twilight said gently, setting him down, "it was the tools he needed to get home."

Alex laid on the floor and stared at the ceiling, while Fluttershy tried to comfort him.

"This is why you don't touch other people's things," Twilight said gently.

"Sorry," Spike apologized to Alex.

"I guess me and Kenny are here for the long haul," Alex said with a sigh. It was a big letdown to go from striding across worlds to being stuck in a quaint little farming community in a low-tech world.

"Kenny?" Fluttershy asked.

"My Tamagotchi," Alex said. "He's probably starving." He sat up and reached for his pants only to find the keychain Kenny hung from empty. "Spike?" he asked softly.

"Yes?" the small dragon replied nervously, sensing the sudden increase in tension in the room.

"Did you kill Kenny?"

"Dude, I didn't kill anyone!" Spike exclaimed.

Alex held up the empty keychain with an accusing glare.

"Umm…" Spike started edging towards the door once more.

Alex turned to Twilight and said solemnly, "I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to eat your dragon."

"Ahhh!" Spike screamed and made a break for it.

Alex leapt and found himself floating in the air surrounded by a purple aura.

"I thought you didn't eat intelligent creatures!" Fluttershy exclaimed.

"We don't," Alex agreed, "scaring the heck out of one for eating my friend however is something I'd do."

"What was Kenny?" Twilight asked, setting him down, but not releasing him. "Could he have escaped? Because I didn't find anything living in your things."

Alex sighed and walked over to Fluttershy, his spider-strength more than enough to drag twilight along by her telekinetic grip. Sitting down he explained, "Kenny was a simple electronic creature, he couldn't exist outside of his egg. More of an idea than an actual lifeform, but he's been with me since the orphanage."

"I'm sorry, but Spike really didn't mean to eat your friend," Twilight said.

"I know, but he still deserved a scare," Alex said, "and hopefully it'll make the lesson about eating other people's stuff stick better."

"I doubt he'll be forgetting it for a while," Twilight assured him.

"A bit cruel though," Fluttershy pointed out.

"Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind," Alex replied. "Better a little scare now, then a huge mess later, well bigger than the one I'm in now."

"So, you're really stuck here?" Twilight asked.

"I'll have to make tools, to make tools, to make the tools I need," Alex replied, "and while I know a lot about what I have to do, I don't know everything. The technology I need is as far beyond this world as your magic is beyond mine."

"I'll help," Twilight promised, "and as long as you promise not to eat Spike you can stay here."

Alex laughed. "As long as you can make a dragon proof lab, so all this doesn't happen again."

"I think I can handle that," Twilight promised, "and I'll send a message to Princess Celestia to see if she knows any way to help."

"Thanks, I appreciate it," he said. "On the magic side of things, what do you know of the astral plane and totems?"

"Quite a bit," Twilight said brightly.

"Excellent, because without my remote I can't talk to the magic user I was going to have help me and I'd probably die of cancer or turn into a giant mutant spider," Alex said cheerfully.

"Ok, I'm going to need an explanation for that," Twilight said wide eyed.

"Sure," Alex replied. "I had myself bitten by an altered spider, mutating my DNA to give me the proportional speed, strength, and agility of a spider, but to ensure the changes remain beneficial and don't progress too far, I have to speak to a certain spider god and get his blessings. That's what I was planning on doing when I healed up."

"Is that a coming of age ritual for your people?" Fluttershy asked.

"For about one in a few hundred million," Alex said, thinking about the number of Spider themed supers in marvel. "I had also planned on saving the life of Peter's uncle, he's the one who went through the initial ritual with me, but since I'm not going to be able to go home for a number of years there's not much I can do about that now."

"What?!"

"Maybe it's meant to be," Alex said shaking his head, "but I'd hoped to prevent it. Ben's death is what sets Peter on the path to becoming a true hero, but I don't think that's the only way it can happen."

"Was it prophecy or did a time traveler come back and warn you?" Twilight asked. "Because if it's a time traveler, there really isn't a lot you can do."

"I'm coming from outside Peter's world's timeline to make the changes," Alex explained. "I've seen enough variations of his timeline to know how events unfold."

"When you said you could travel the cosmos you weren't kidding," Twilight said in shock.

"It's nice that you were going through all that trouble to help someone," Fluttershy said, "and I'm sorry it didn't work out, but we have to keep this a secret from Spike."

"It'd destroy him!" Twilight exclaimed horrified.

"That's why I focused on the Tamagotchi," Alex explained. "It's my equivalent of a stuffed animal."

"Did your parent's give it to you?" Fluttershy asked.

"No, it was a present from the madman who killed my best friend," Alex explained as the two stared at him in horror. "Maybe I should keep things like that to myself," Alex muttered right before he was buried in crying ponies.

Half an hour later…

"It was a long time ago," he reassured the two. "I'm over it."

"How can you ever get over something like that?" Fluttershy asked in disbelief.

"By seeing worlds where it didn't happen," Alex replied. "Reality is a pretty big place, it has to be to have room for everything to happen."

"Did they ever catch the pony who did it?" Twilight asked.

"Right after," Alex assured her. "He was sent to a mental care facility for life."

"At least they couldn't hurt anyone else," Twilight said, relieved.

"So, not to change the subject to something less painful, but I'm going to change the subject to something less painful. I need to do the whole astral vision quest to complete my transformation," Alex said. "Can you help me?"

"I'll have to consult with Princess Luna," Twilight said, "just to make sure I have all the details right."

"No rush, it takes years before any negative effects shows up," he assured her.

Someone knocked on the door.

"Be right there," Twilight called out, before giving him one last squeeze and getting up to answer the door. "Oh, hey Rarity."

"Hello, Darling," the purple maned, white unicorn said. "Spike came over all in a tizzy over a pony eating monster, so I thought I'd pop on by and make sure everything was alright."

"That was Alex," Twilight explained. "While Fluttershy was caring for him Spike went through his clothes and ate all the tools he needed to get back home, even though I told him not to mess with his things."

Rarity winced. "I can see where that would upset a pony," she admitted.

"To top it off, one of the things he ate was Alex's equivalent of a stuffed animal and the only thing he had from the orphanage," Twilight hedged the truth a little.

"Oh dear," Rarity said shaking her head.

"Discovering that Spike had eaten Kenny was the last straw, so he decided to scare him," Twilight explained.

"I can hardly fault him for that," Rarity said with a sigh. "Poor little Spike, his appetite is always getting him into trouble."

"Well, in this case it may have stranded someone in Ponyville for a number of years," Twilight said.

"That's awful," Rarity said. "If there's anything I can do to help, just let me know."

"I will," Twilight said. "You should probably keep Spike at your place for a day or two, so he can realize the enormity of what he's done."

"Cutie Mark Crusaders Monster Hunters attack!"

"Sweetie Belle," Rarity groaned before the two ran into the main room and found the three young girls attacking Alex who was holding Fluttershy bridal style and easily dodging their attacks.

"Release Fluttershy!" Applebloom, the yellow colored red maned earth pony ordered as she swung a wooden mallet at him.

"Never!" Alex replied, easily swaying out of the way of her attack.

"I got him!" Scootaloo the orange colored pegasis with a purple mane exclaimed as she kicked out with both feet.

"Eeep!" Fluttershy squeaked as Alex flipped over the attack.

"Got him!" Sweetie Belle, the white unicorn with the pink and lavender mane cheered as the chains she had telekinetically snuck into place were secured with a padlock.

Alex flexed and snapped the chains before giving off an evil laugh and leaping onto the wall near the roof, completely out of the children's range.

"Oh no, he's going to carry her off and eat her!" Applebloom exclaimed in a panic.

"B-but we aren't even dating," Fluttershy muttered, face red.

Alex decided he had not heard her say that, it was simply an auditory hallucination brought on by stress… then he muttered curses at Magnolia-Fan.

"Alex, please put Fluttershy down," Twilight said before turning to the three ponies. "Girls, he's not a pony eating monster."

"But spike said-" Scootaloo began.

"Spike ate his only way home and his stuffed animal from the orphanage," Twilight said. "Alex was a bit upset with him for that and gave him a good scare."

"How is he doing that?" Applebloom asked as she stared up at him.

"Is he in season? Is that why he's trying to carry Fluttershy off?" Sweetie Belle asked excitedly, as she looked up his toga.

Alex dropped back down to the floor and set Fluttershy down before straightening his toga. "And that's why my people always wear clothes and Spiderman doesn't go wall crawling in a toga."

Fluttershy was blushing but stuttered out, "N-no, his species simply has external… bits."

"So, you're not getting married?" Sweetie Belle asked disappointed.

"We just met a few days ago!" Fluttershy exclaimed, now a nuclear red.

"But in The Passions of the Ponies, Duke Reginald married Lady Zoey a single day after they first met," the little unicorn pointed out.

"Sweetie Belle," Rarity groaned, "how many times have I told you to stay out of my romance novels? They are not an accurate reflection of reality."

"And that happened," Alex said shaking his head. He gathered his clothes and started getting dressed only to discover a new problem. "I've lost so much weight nothing fits."

"I can help you there, Darling," Rarity said with a smile. "I've wanted to examine your clothes anyway, so it should be no problem to take them in a little," she examined how baggy there were, "or a lot."

"Thank you, I appreciate it," Alex said. "While I'm there if you need anything done let me know. I don't have any local currency, but I have a strong back."

"So, I gathered," she replied, eyes flitting to the broken chain. "I'd consider myself well compensated if I could simply pick your brain on fashion ideas. Considering the things you were wearing, you must know loads about the subject."

"I do know a fair amount," Alex admitted, thinking about all the research he'd done before designing his costume. "Fashion is pretty universal, and I didn't specialize so I'm betting there will be quite a bit of overlap."

"Sounds simply fascinating," Rarity said, herding him out the door.

"Did Rarity just steal Fluttershy's coltfriend?" Scootaloo asked.

Typing by: fyrewolf5

TN: brought to you by the power of insomnia, because apparently sleep is overrated

Omake by fyrewolf5: eh, how smart or important is spike really?

Alex turned to Twilight. "I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to eat your dragon."

"Ahhh!" Spike screamed and made a break for it.

Alex leapt and found himself floating in the air surrounded by a purple aura.

"I thought you didn't eat intelligent creatures!" Fluttershy exclaimed.

"We don't, but he just proved himself to be too stupid and malicious to live!" Alex countered. "Eating everything on the belt I could understand and forgive, going through every article of my clothing and eating everything I could possible use or cared about means he has no respect for anyone's property and only cares about himself. Killing him before he can screw anyone else over is doing the multiverse a favor!"

"He's just a child, he doesn't know any better," Twilight tried to defend Spike.

"So, this is the only time he's eaten something he wasn't supposed to, and caused problems?" Alex asked intently.

Twilight winced. "Well, no, not exactly the first time."

"Not only has he trapped me on this world for an unknown number of years, he has prevented me from saving the lives of countless people I was planning on helping. Aiding even a single one of the people I planned on helping would have saved at least double digits of lives, and in several cases easily triple digits," Alex explained. "With my tools I can cross cosmos and timelines, preventing wars, and the destruction of entire planets if not universes. And now because of his selfishness and stomach, I'm trapped here unable to help even a single one of them!"

Fluttershy and Twilight stared at him in horror, trying to comprehend exactly how badly Spike messed up. "Th-that's terrible, but killing him won't change what's happened," Fluttershy pointed out.

"We don't know that for certain," Alex countered. "If I gut him and empty his stomach I might be able to salvage something, even just some of the parts if they're not too badly damaged can be jury-rigged together and get me to a place that has the parts I need to make a full remote. Even just saving some of the tools would cut down the number of years I'll be trapped here trying to remake them."

"And what if they're already destroyed? You'd have killed him for no reason," Twilight argued.

"No, even if I couldn't salvage anything, killing him would improve the world. He's trapped me here for an indefinite amount of time, and he's already screwed other people over before from the same behavior. Killing him before he becomes a full-grown dragon capable of even greater destruction is still a worthwhile action," Alex disagreed.

Seeing that the dragon had escaped and that he wasn't likely to get near him anytime soon, Alex stopped trying to struggle free. "Fine, I won't kill him for screwing me over. But I'm going to need someplace I can work to try to find a way home, and keep him far away from me. If he eats anything else of mine again or I hear he's fucked anyone else over, I will kill him, this is his last chance."

AN: I think my typist is a bit more upset at Spike than Alex is. ;P