Wet Blankets Part 2
A/N: Well here's the next part for you all :P
"Yey we're all here!" Orihime squealed, clapping her hands happily at the sight of the many grumbling espada in front of her.
"Sadly you are correct." Ulquiorra grumbled, his hands fidgeting in his pockets. "Now tell me the plan so that I can carry it out."
After the whole fiasco earlier, each of the people involved had rushed off to do their own things. Orihime had immediately gone to Halibel in search of something more appropriate for a water park, what with her being a shark lady and all, and had thus gained quite a collection of swimsuits and water battle gear. "Ok so first things first; there will be some rules on this trip."
Nnoitora groaned. Instead of telling anyone about the event, he had gone straight to his room to...erm...think about what he may be seeing at the park. After that was finished and the floor was cleaned up, he found some lower level arrancars to bully while he waited for the others. "Rules are bullshit and so are the dicks who make them."
"First rule," Orihime continued, ignoring him, "No killing, maiming or dissecting any humans there. I'm looking at you Szayel, Grimmjow and Nnoitora."
"Not even a little bit?!" Szayel whined, dropping all of the lab equipment he had assembled in preparation. The scientist had been looking forward to getting a chance to study live human specimens. Of course the binoculars for spying on them were kept. No way in hell were they going.
"Not at all!" She told him firmly and folded hers arms like a teacher. "Secondly; no drawing attention to ourselves. We don't need anybody knowing we're anything but a bunch of nor-...well a large group of people."
"Understood." Zommari answered. Unlike the previous two he had actually helped the ginger out, and had told all of the other espada about the venture and what to bring. Once he had completed that he had gathered an appropriate swimsuit, consumed a few choice substances and waited for the others to get to the meeting point. For two hours. Spaced out wasn't the word.
"Rule three is no destroying any of the rides. Or anything. Not even discretely."
"Well sorry if I get nervous you bitch!" Grimmjow spat, still visibly unhinged by the prospect of a lot of water. After their encounter earlier he had simply found a corner to curl up in and freaked out. "Who the hell even makes a park out of water?! It's so boring and wet and awful! Why not just make one on land and let people go there instead? That would be way better for everyone!"
Orihime laughed. "Don't worry about it; as long as nobody gets hurt and nothing gets blown up then everything is ok. Now, are there any more rules that any of you wish to add?"
The room was silent until Ulquiorra added "I wish to go on record as saying that this is a terrible idea that will only end in disaster." The final member of the group had spent his time attempting to drown his sorrows in a sea of tea and spirits. And by spirits I don't mean the kind Ichigo dicks around with, I'm talking the over 40% proof stuff Szayel had given him.
"Agreed." Tousen sighed, appearing alongside Aizen and an incredibly bruised Gin.
"I have chosen the location you had in mind Orihime." Aizen told her smiling before shooting a glance at Gin. "I knew this because I am a being that surpasses a god."
Now the nearly broken general did try to keep his mouth shut, but the truth needed to get out. "He checked ya diary whe-..." was all he managed out before yet another Hado 90 spell was cast on him. The screams that came from the box stayed with the others for the rest of their lives.
"Now then, let us commence." Their leader said and so the trip began.
-2 hours later-
"Grimmy come down and check out the pool."
"Fuck off and die you stupid girl!"
"You can't stay attached to the ceiling all day. I mean you'll miss all the fun! Not to mention people are starting to stare at you."
"Fuck your fun and FUCK ALL OF THEM!"
"I thought you liked a nice wet pussy Grimmjow..."
"CHOKE IN YOUR SLEEP NNOITRA!"
The ryoka girl sighed and turned to her friend. "Ulqui can you please..."
"No."
"But I didn't even say..."
"I do not care what your request is, this scenario is too humorous to miss."
Before she could scold him a sharp clicking noise came from behind her and she wheeled round to find Szayel setting up a recording device. "Szayel you brought a camera?!"
The eight espada laughed. "Why of course I did; have you seen the people around here?! Damn girl damn..." He drooled for a second before blushing and adding "T-They are very interesting scientifically I mean."
"Oh...erm, ok." She smiled and slowly backed away. The chosen water park was one fairly close to Karakura town, which had initially surprised Orihime due to the war between her friends and the espada. However, upon glancing at the entry fee whilst entering the place she realised that not even Ishida would have been able to afford the entry. Well, he would have, but there was about as much chance of getting him to go to a water park as there was getting Gin to shut his mouth.
Speaking of which... "Why can't I move my anything?"
"Because your 'anything' is broken you idiot." Starrk laughed, sipping his beer from a nearby deck chair. Lilynette had decided to go on all of the rides, and after realising that he was going to be a wet blanket all day if she dragged him along had also decided to simply leave him be. "Not that I don't hate you, but you look like you need a drink."
The silver fox managed a shaky grin. "S-Sure...get me a..."
"Actually Gin I believe you've had enough fun for today." Aizen told him, appearing behind Gin with a surfboard primed for hitting him. "You really should be more respectful to me."
At this point all three eyes were on Gin daring him to say something back. Well Aizen's were, the other two for once were actually hoping he'd stay quiet. Beating Gin up was one thing, but watching him be repeatedly broken in front of them for raising valid points was getting a bit sad. Sadly they were disappointed. "...so ya saw the cans in the kitchen then?"
Aizen sighed. "Always the sceptic Gin. I suppose I shall have to convert you the old fashioned way." And with that the silver haired man was dragged away kicking and screaming to what only be described as severe torturing.
"I never thought I'd say this, but poor Gin." Starrk winced then looked at Orihime. "You wanting a drink then?"
"I do actually yeah!" She brightened up almost immediately. "Can you get me an orange tango please?"
The primera espada looked at her. "I was meaning something with alcohol in it. If you wanted something without it you could get it yourself, but you'd need someone very handsome and older looking to get you something with it."
"Oh...erm, well I haven't really drank alcohol before so..."
"Ethanol is bad for the human liver." Ulquiorra stated, glaring at Starrk.
The older man jumped. "Woah when did you...?"
"Alcoholic beverages are only to be consumed by humans over 20, which means that Orihime cannot consume one due to the fact that she is below that age."
"Hey chill out there Captain Buzzkill!" Starrk laughed and sat up. "She's hardly going to die if she has a drop now and then. Besides the crap they sell here is weaker than Aaroniero!"
In the distance the ninth espada bristled, but went back to watching the fish. "We'll show him weak...and then he'll be the weak one!"
"W-Well thanks for the offer but I think I'll pass this time." Orihime told him blushing. "I just kind of wanted my first drink to be somewhere...special. Sorry Starrk I..."
"Relax its no problem at all! I'll just grab you one when the time comes." Starrk said, returning the smile. "I have to be evil somehow and corrupting people seems to be the way to go. After all I did get Zommari into it."
"And that wash the best decisionsh ever!" The seventh espada chipped in, coming out from the nearby toilets and collapsing beside his friend in a deck chair. "More things to take!"
"I'll drink to that you drunken idiot!" Starrk cheered and finished his drink. "Well I may as well get some more. Guess I'll see you guys later."
"S-Sure." Orihime replied as he got up and walked to the bar.
"Is this not a special occasion?" The ryoka girl span round to find her caretaker looking at her. "Not that I condone the consumption of alcohol of course."
Her blush deepened by a few shades. "I...it just seems...I kind of...its silly really."
Ulquiorra blinked. "Woman I have to put up with Grimmjow and Gin on an almost hourly basis. Nothing you can say will compare to them."
She laughed. "Fair enough...I just wanted it to be with someone special..."
"Are we not special enough?" Aizen asked, once again appearing out of nowhere, albeit covered in blood this time. "I am soon to be the one who stands above god; what is more special than that?"
The whole park went silent expecting a witty remark from Gin. Sadly only faint moans and muffled crying was heard. "I was thinking..." Orihime started but then returned to shuddering.
"I must apologise but I have some business to attend to back to Las Noches. We will be leaving in fifteen minutes, although I assure you another trip shall be organised as compensation."
Just then a loud scraping sound was heard and Gin burst out, bones broken and caked in his own blood, from the nearby toilet to scream "HE LEFT THE LIGHT ON IN THE KITCHEN!"
"I shall have to be more persuasive it seems." Aizen scowled, unsheathing his zanpacto and activating it. This was for the best because what came next is too awful to describe. Poor stupid Gin...
"B-But I didn't even get to ride anything." Orihime sighed.
"That is because you spent far too much time swimming with Halibel." Ulquiorra rolled his eyes and sighed, tired of being right again and sad that he was stuck with several 'shark bites' (yeah Halibel basically beat him up for fun). "However there does seem to be enough time to ride something. Pick one."
This brightened the redhead up. "Ohhh...well how about..."
"WE'RE GOING ON TRIO OF TERROR AND THAT'S FINAL!" Grimmjow screamed, grabbing both of them and practically carrying to the nearby ride.
"Yey!" Orihime squealed and fist pounded the air, neglecting to notice the utter horror on his face.
Ulquiorra however did notice. "Why the sudden change of mood?"
Looking back over his shoulder Grimmjow's eyes widened. "THAT SHARK BITCH IS CRAZY AND IF I DON'T RIDE SOMETHING SHE'LL EAT ME!"
"...I see." The curator replied, not taking it further than that. Halibel really was a scary woman.
"But what about the..." Orihime started but Grimmjow simply ploughed through the queue straight to the front.
"Sir...I'm going to have to ask you to go to the back..." The attendant asked but stopped upon seeing his face. "Sir...are you ok?"
"ITS DEATH BY WATER OR DEATH BY SHARKS, OF COURSE I'M NOT FUCKING OK! NOW GIVE ME A DINGEY AND LET'S DO THIS!" He was quickly handed the three seated inflatable and they all sat down. "If you speak a word of this to anyone. ANYONE! I will kill you both. Understand?"
"Awww are you scared of the water Grimmy?"
"I'LL FUCKING MURDER...GAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" He screeched but the the ride began. As expected Grimmjow screamed his head off the entire way through it and occasionally grabbed hold of the other two, much to Ulquiorra's displeasure. When they finally reached the bottom he Sonido'd immediately to the side and hissed at anybody that looked at him. "IT'S DONE, I DID IT! NOW LEAVE ME WOMAN!"
"Good kitty." Halibel chuckled, finally emerging from her chosen pool and drying herself off. "Now what have we learned?"
"T-That not all fish can be eaten." Grimmjow sighed.
"Aaaaaand?"
"And that water isn't so bad."
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand?"
"Jesus woman what more do you want from me?!" He growled before stomping off to find his towel.
Meanwhile Orihime and Ulquiorra removed themselves from the dingy and shook the water from themselves. "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
"No...never again." Ulquiorra scowled and looked around for his own towel. "What a colossal waste of time this was. At least the pestering will stop now."
"I bet you enjoyed it really." She smiled and hugged him. "Thanks Ulqui!"
He almost smiled. Almost. "Woman what have I told you...wait, why is everything red?"
Frowning, Orihime turned around to find one half of the park covered in various fluids. "Oh god what is...?!"
"You should have just yielded Gin!"Aizen rolled his eyes and sheathed his sword. "Standing against my godly might is an impossible task."
The only reply the white haired man could give was a whimper. Zommari then proceeded to vomit on top of him to add insult to injury, which completed the utter defeat. Starrk blinked. "Well this is...wow."
"Now we shall return home so I can attend to matters there." He paused for a moment and looked around. "Any objections?" Everyone what was present shook their heads. "Gin? Nothing to say to me? Or have you finally accepted me as god?"
With what was probably going to be his final breath Gin laughed. "Just hopin' the electric bill ain't too high for us."
The wink was probably a bad idea. One he would pay for with the use of his appendages and bowel movements. Still worth it though.
A/N: Woooo no assessments anymore! Time to get back to writing a bit :P
