Going Solo 3
Previous chapters: ANYASEMF008, ANYASEMF013
"Do all your friends have cool powers?" Ford demanded.
Buffy opened her mouth to reply and paused. "Maybe," she offered.
"Hang around long enough and you'll probably pick some up too," Xander told him.
"Seriously?" Ford asked, stunned.
"Sure," Xander said gesturing towards the interior and shooing Buffy and Willow off so he could talk to Ford alone.
"We'll take care of the demon," Buffy said, "you two keep an eye out topside."
"Will do, Buff," Xander said. "Telekinesis is dead easy to learn," he explained. "It takes time for most people to get good at it, but just picking it up is easy and you may find you've got some odd psychic gift in addition."
"That's so cool," Ford said in amazement. The sound of fighting came from below decks and Ford looked concerned actually taking a step or two towards it before Xander stopped him.
"Relax, they've got it," he assured him. "If they need help they'll yell."
"Die!" Buffy yelled the sound only slightly muffled by the deck.
"Not that yell," Xander told him, glad to see that Ford wasn't a complete prick. "It's probably just a handful of vamps."
"And that's not a reason to help?" Ford asked completely at sea.
"Vampires are the cockroaches of the demon world," Xander said. "If you've ever read the Evil Overlord list you would laugh at how many of the rules they break and for all their talk about how they are superior and immortal you'll notice that the number that live even a century is pretty low."
"Really?" Ford asked surprised, none of this fitting with what he thought he knew.
"Oh yeah," Xander assured him. "See vampires are blood demons inhabiting human corpses, and they are so weak that they can't even remember what they are, thinking they are the corpse they are possessing. It's why most demons look down on them."
"What about the person… who died?" he asked. "I mean, how do they have all the memories if the person isn't there?"
"Vampire blood," Xander replied. "Vampires feed them their blood as they lay dying and it keeps the corpse from decaying, so the brain is kept completely intact. It's kind of like a recording," Xander said thoughtfully, "which is probably why vamps don't adapt to new situations well and pretty much keep wearing the same style of clothes that were popular when they died."
"Can you believe this?!" Buffy demanded as she came back on deck pointing to a tear in her shirt. "That stupid vampire tore my blouse and I really liked this one too."
"I think I can help you there," Xander said.
"You have a sewing kit on you?" Buffy asked skeptically.
"No, even better," Xander said kneeling in front of Buffy and untucking her blouse.
Buffy blushed slightly and held very still not knowing what was going on. "Xander!" she exclaimed in shock as he slid a hand under her blouse.
"Pull the sides of the material tight so both sides line up," Xander ordered, the tear in the center of his palm.
"If this is a trick to feel me up, you're going to regret it," Buffy warned him while doing as he'd asked.
"Ok, now let me concentrate," Xander said, placing his palms together with the tear in between. After a minute he pulled his hands from her shirt and gestured to the now repaired material. "Tada!"
"Ok, now that is wow worthy," Buffy admitted.
"Trying to reinvent D&D cantrips?" Willow guessed.
"No, I figured it out while tying my shoes," Xander replied.
"I have no clue how that would work," Willow admitted.
Xander brushed off his knees and straightened up. "I've been practicing tying my shoes without looking," Xander replied.
The girls laughed and he rolled his eyes.
"I've been telekinetically tying my shoes without looking," Xander explained, "and I've found the farther away they are the harder it is to do-"
"Why would you practice-" Willow interrupted before bursting out laughing.
"I can't help but feel I'm missing something here," Buffy admitted.
"You and me both," Ford said.
"He wants to be able to tie people's shoes together without looking at them," Willow explained.
"Hopping vampires will be hilarious," Xander promised. "Anyway, as it turns out it's easier for me to move things close to me as I get clumsier and weaker the further it is away. So, I started working on really small things as close as possible."
"Do you do one thread at a time or multiple?" Willow asked curiously.
"Multiple," Xander said proudly. "It's easier when there is a pattern, so I can move dozens of threads at a time."
"I can't focus that small," Buffy complained. "It's got to be at least half the size of a pencil for me to do anything more than throw it. How about you?" she asked Willow.
"I can do the tiny," Willow said, "but not fine manipulation of them."
"So, what's it look like below decks?" Xander asked.
"Like an old sailing vessel," Willow replied.
"All the modern stuff is hidden," Buffy said, "it's like the ship is wearing a costume."
"It's awesome," Willow enthused.
"The vampires not so much," Buffy said. "Wanna see?"
"Sure," Xander said. "Do you know what would be funny?"
"What?" Willow asked.
"If the reason they listed it as needing an overhaul was because the only safe way to deal with the vamps was to remove the deck and expose everything inside to sunlight," Xander replied.
"If that's true this ship just became an even greater bargain," Buffy said with a grin.
"It'll still be worth the five hundred to have Miss Calendar's friends work their voodoo on the engine," Willow said.
"A tune up?" Ford guessed as he looked at the old fashioned oil lamps that were hanging in the passageways as they entered the interior.
"No, literal voodoo," Willow said, "there will be chickens and rum and everything!"
"This all looks so familiar," Xander said as they entered the captain's cabin at the rear of the ship with the large multipanel hand blown glass windows providing a bit of light as it streamed in and showed an enormous bed covered in silk pillows.
"I know," Willow said. "I swear I've seen this all before."
"As if a cabin wench like you would know anything!" Xander snarled out.
"Xander!" Buffy exclaimed, shocked.
Willow got in his face. "Better than a two bit scoundrel and thief!" she exclaimed recalling how the scene went.
"Willow!" Buffy exclaimed, never having seen the movie.
"Oh my god, this is the Flying Dutchman!" Ford exclaimed.
Willow pouted a little when Xander turned away as the next part of the scene involved throwing her on the bed.
"It's stunt double anyway," Xander said. "Not to mention a dozen other pirate ships in dozens of other movies for when they needed actual footage of the sea."
"Oh," Buffy said, finally catching on. "I was never much for pirate movies, but I do know something about how they make movies. I want it even more now."
"I'll help," Ford offered.
"Are you sure?" Buffy asked.
"Sure," he replied, "it's only money and my family is loaded."
"That is so nice of you," Buffy said. "Want to go hunting?"
"No taking him hunting tonight," Xander said, "I'm taking him to the Bronze and then I'm going to start teaching him telekinesis."
"Really?" Ford asked surprised and excited.
"Really," Xander said, "if you're going to hang around us, you'll need some kind of edge and even if you suck at it, it makes for a cool party trick."
"You're just hoping he'll turn out to have pyrokinesis," Willow guessed.
"Pyrokinesis?" Ford asked curiously.
"You get to set things on fire with your mind," Xander said with an evil grin. "Learning telekinesis the way we do can awaken psychic potential like I mentioned earlier. Eventually I will find someone who is a pyrokinetic and… well vampires are really flammable."
"Xander isn't fond of vamps," Buffy noted dryly.
"Really?" Willow asked innocently. "I hadn't noticed."
They both burst out laughing while Xander rolled his eyes but couldn't stop himself from grinning.
"You know vampires are turning out to be a lot less than advertised," Ford said, shaking his head and then turning away to hide a wince.
"They're a popular monster because people have romanticized them," Willow said, "the truth is always disappointing."
"The only thing they have over the movie version is they don't have as many allergies or restrictions," Xander said. "The big three are still the same though; fire, stake, and sunlight."
"Decapitation also works," Buffy reminded him.
"So, does driving one of their own ribs through their heart," Xander said, "but massive damage is a gimmie for everything."
"Guns don't really do a whole lot to them unless you have good aim," Buffy said.
"Blasters work like a charm," Willow said with a smirk.
"But sadly, while Janus is a great god, he is only allowed to alter reality on certain holiday," Buffy said.
"A god?" Ford asked.
"If there is a hell there has to be a heaven as well," Buffy said philosophically.
"Basically, there are as many powers above as there are below, and the ones below are trying to come here because hell sucks, while those above have put in a dress code to keep the riff raff out and occasionally send help down our way to keep the undesirables from getting here because they'd go there next," Xander said.
"That is the single most cynical thing I have ever heard," Willow said.
"I'm still bitter over them killing Buffy," Xander said with a shrug.
Ford looked over at Buffy and raised an eyebrow.
"I got better," Buffy said with a smile.
"She was only mostly dead," Willow quoted.
"Came back for true love?" Ford guessed, recognizing the quote.
"Well I did wake like Sleeping Beauty with a certain someone's lips on mine… the two hands on the chest were a bit of a new addition though," Buffy teased.
"Xander!" Willow exclaimed and smacked him in the arm making Buffy burst out laughing.
"Chest compressions," Xander reminded her, rubbing his shoulder, but grinning.
"I was drowned by a master vampire who partially drained me and then stomped off to try and conquer the world," Buffy explained.
"He didn't read the Evil Overlord's list," Ford guessed, recalling what Xander had mentioned earlier.
Buffy turned to Xander. "Have you been corrupting him?" she asked accusingly.
"Yes," Xander replied cheerfully.
"Back to the god thing," Ford requested.
"The forces of good have to follow a whole bunch of rules, limiting the help they can give us," Buffy explained.
"And considering they are concerned with the soul and not so much the body…" Xander added.
"We only really get help on the 'end of the world' scenarios," Willow said. "Of course, when you are talking about an eternity of bliss the tiny blip that is mortality doesn't really register as important to them."
"That sucks," Ford said, trying to wrap his head around the concept.
"Yes, but only briefly from their point of view," Willow explained.
"Wait, you guys go through end of the world scenarios?" Ford asked in disbelief.
"We have one world save to our name so far," Willow said proudly.
"Mostly we save individuals or the town," Buffy said.
"Of course, if the town is gone the Hellmouth would be ripe for the taking and then game over," Xander pointed out.
"Maybe," Buffy said. "Personally, I think the infighting would slow things down enough for the smarter demons to stop them."
"Yeah, you're probably right," Willow said thoughtfully.
"Sun's about to go down," Xander noted, "how about you two do a quick patrol and meet us at the Bronze?"
"Yeah, I can probably get away with a two hour shift," Buffy said thoughtfully. "Do you have the risers list?" she asked Willow.
"Memorized," Willow assured her, "and three are in the same graveyard."
"See you there," Buffy told them.
OoOoOoOoOo
Ford took his shot, sinking the three but scratching. "Damn."
"It happens," Xander told him chalking his stick. "Two things to remember… don't sweat the small stuff, and it's all small stuff."
"Except when it isn't?" Ford asked as Xander sank the eight ball.
"No, even then," Xander said as he rolled all the balls to one end of the table with his pool cue. "No one gets out of life alive and if you do a good job at it you have eternity to realize how petty all the crap you worried about was."
"Eternity," Ford said before shuddering. "That still kinda freaks me out."
"Xander have you seen Buffy?" Angel asked, looking around the Bronze.
"She'll be here in a couple of hours," Xander replied, setting up the table for another game. "She just had five fledges to take care of."
"Fledges?" Angel asked, eyes darting to Ford.
"Ford is in the know," Xander said, "his prom was attacked by vamps."
"Oh," Angel said offering a hand to Ford.
"Cold hands," Ford noted, shaking Angel's hand.
"I'll go get us some drinks," Xander said. "Angel, you want anything?"
"They don't serve my type of drink here," Angel said, wondering why Xander had asked.
"A rum and coke is a rum and coke," Xander replied, "we don't drink them for the nutritional content."
Angel looked dumbfounded by the comment.
"I'll get you one," Xander said.
"Once Xander had gone Ford turned to Angel. "How'd you like to make a deal?"
Typing by: fyrewolf5
TN: clearly Buffy and possibly Willow aren't aware of how sleeping beauty was originally woken, bit more than a peck on the lips involved.
TN2: Maybe next time Willow, I'm sure Xan wouldn't mind Buffy watching/joining that scene, but don't think he was willing to let Ford.
TN3: was kinda hoping Ford was going to be less of a dick once he had more info, but not that surprised he didn't.
