Good Boy
A/N: Yet another disappointing instalment waiting to be read. Hope this one isn't too sucky :P
If you were to walk the halls of Las Noches you would hear many strange things. The howling wind of Hueco Mundo passing through them. The ominous creaking and straining as the corridors shift and change according to their controllers will. Even the occasional laughter of everyone's least favourite white haired shinigami as he torments his pray, which was usually followed by shouting, screaming of both.
"What is that noise?" Orihime, having been a hostage for several month now, was accustomed to the horrific noises of the place. Therefore, when she heard this particular noise she was understandably confused. "Ulqui, what is that?"
The caretaker blinked and strained his ears. After a second, the noise was heard again. "I...am unsure. It appears to be coming from a small animal of some sort in..." He glanced left and pointed towards to wall. "...that direction."
Orihime blinked. "In the wall? Oh it may be trapped in there! Get it out before-..."
"Woman I will not destroy the wall for the sake of that thing inside of it. Damaging property that belongs to Lord Aizen is..."
He was quickly interrupted by Grimmjow appearing out of nowhere and falcon-punching the wall down. "Wow Batman, didn't know you were such a pussy. Now why did I break this wa-...OH GOD WHAT IS THAT THING?!"
As soon as the wall had been broken, a huge mass of fur and drool pounced out and landed on the unsuspecting espada, showering him saliva and love. Orihime of course found his hilarious. "Ahahaha awwww he likes you!"
"GET THIS SATANIC SHIT OFF ME BEFORE I CERO IT INTO OBLIVION!"
"But Grimmjow he's just saying hi!"
"HE CAN GO DIE IN A SECOND NOW MOVE HIM!"
Ulquiorra watched his charge remove the dog with a look of puzzlement that bordered on alarm. "What is this creature and why was it living in the walls?"
Leaping to his feet, Grimmjow glared at the canine. "Standing before you is the physical incarnation of pure evil!" The dog of course panted and wagged its tail at him, causing Grimmjow to growl. "I KNOW YOUR GAME EVIL ONE AND YOU SHALL NOT SUCCEED IN KILLING ME!"
"While your fear and suffering does amuse me, I am afraid I can not allow vermin such as this to..."
Before he had even drawn his sword, a certain general had already stepped between the curator and his to-be victim. "Wait will ya! He's with me!"
Ulquiorra blinked but still kept his sword raised. "If you are trying to persuade me to save this creature you are doing a poor job."
Gin sighed. "Ok ok look; I'll make a deal with ya. What if..."
"NO!" The three of them said in unison, already knowing that whatever deal they made, it would end up as a loss for them. In fact after the whole pension fiasco with the chocolate stocks nobody was willing to make a deal with Gin.
Of course Gin himself knew this. "...I don't kill ya all now and everyone lives?"
The trio blinked. Usually Gin's threats and tricks were a bit more light hearted as opposed to outright homicidal. "Erm...ok..."
"Now what ya gonna do is turn back and forget this. 'Kay?" Gin's smile never left his face.
"I am afraid I must alert Lord Aizen of..." Ulquiorra began but stopped when he saw the glint in Gin's eye. "...of course exceptions can be made in extreme circumstances."
"You won't hurt him will you?!" Orihime asked, bending down to stroke the dog's head. "He's sooooo cute! Can I play with him for a little bit?"
The General looked at her for a moment before deciding. "Only if ya promise not to tell. It's a big surprise for tomorrow for a certai-...quick, back in the wall!" In a blink of an eye the canine was whisked through the hole and Gin was standing very suspiciously in front of it. "Now act cool!" He whispered and began whistling as a figure walked round the corner into their view.
"Gin your...what are you doing now?" Tousen sighed and folded his arms. "You were supposed to be guarding the menos from any attackers."
Gin shrugged. "I got bored. Happens a lot."
"Evidently." Tousen move a hand up to rub his temples. "Would you mind explaining why there's a hole in this wall?"
"H-Hole in the wall?" Grimmjow stuttered, still slightly scared of the previous threats. "What hole? Maybe there's a hole in your wall!"
Gin rolled his eyes, which nobody saw of course because he only opened them once a decade. "It's to put his body in."
Grimmjow gulped and began praying. Orihime on the other hand was somewhat quicker on her feet. "I thought there was a bug and Ulqui punched it for me."
"I-Indeed." Ulquiorra regrettably agreed. "I believe it is gone now."
"Yes that is quite apparent." Tousen huffed. "You were so well behaved until this prisoner arrived; honestly I'm starting to worry." Ulquiorra's face fell, causing Tousen to sigh again. "But do not worry, you can repair this quickly, can you not?"
"I will get on the job immediately." The curator beamed and vanished to get supplies.
Tousen then turned his attention to the girl. "I warn you; any attempts to impede his work..."
"I'll be good!" Orihime said quickly, seeing a furry paw pop out of the wall in the corner of her eye. "I-It's just that bugs are icky and..."
"There is nothing wrong with insects or arachnids." Tousen glared at her, or did the equivalent with his visor of doom. "And it couldn't have been a 'bug' as you so crudely put it. We are currently in Hueco Mundo; the only things here are hollows and us."
"What about the hollow bugs?" Gin chipped in, moving slightly to the right to prevent the escape of his adorable secret. "They're a thing 'n stuff right?"
Tousen tilted his head. "Well if they are I am yet to see one."
The Silver Fox laughed. "No way! Hell I'll show ya some! Teach ya how to spot the different ones from the spots!"
"H-He knows Tousen is blind right?" Orihime whispered to Grimmjow, who by now had stopped cowering and praying.
"I think he's just an idiot." Grimmjow replies. "Guys even dumber than Yammy sometimes."
"...Gin for the last time I can't see shapes. Or colours. OR ANYTHING!" Tousen yelled, exasperated with his colleague.
"But Daredevil can!" Gin protested. "He's got firey vision and super hearing 'n taste!"
"WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS! I'M NOT LIKE DAREDEVIL!"
"Well if ya had the red suit..."
"THAT'S NOT HOW BLINDNESS WORKS!"
"Oh yeah, how would you know?!"
"BECAUSE I AM BLIND YOU FOOL! I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT ITS LIKE!"
"...are ya more like Stick then?"
"THAT'S IT, I'M GOING STRAIGHT TO LORD AIZEN TO CANCEL NETFLIX!" Instantly the fuming man vanished and Gin's smile widened.
"See I learned that if ya can't out argue 'em, just annoy 'em till they go away he he." He relaxed and slumped down. "Close call eh?" The pair nodded. "Glad there's only today left. Then ya free!"
The ryoka girl tentatively stepped towards him. "About that...what is happening tomorrow?"
Gin looked at her and winked, by which I mean he shut his eye even more than normal before returning it to its normal half-crescent shape. Yeah...literally no point in him doing that but oh well! "Here's an offer ya can't refuse. You guys keep this one outta trouble 'nd I'll tell ya tonight."
Grimmjow snorted. "As if I would ever help..."
"If ya don't I'll kill ya to get rid of witnesses."
"...so what time tomorrow do we have to keep this abomination?"
"Just till midnight." Gin beamed. "Get Batsy on it too. Oh and don't hurt 'im!"
Orihime gasped. "Why would I ever hurt this little..."
"I was talkin' to Simba here; every scratch on 'is body is one on yours. 'Kay?" Grimmjow nodded vigorously. "Sweet! Now imma save my Netflix. Cya tonight!" And just like that he was gone again.
"You know when he vanishes and appears instantly it reaffirms my beliefs that he is indeed mischief incarnate." Ulquiorra said, strolling down the corridor with several planks of two by four wood, nails and white paint. "So we look after this creature until midnight and he will allow us to live?"
Orihime quirked an eyebrow. "How did you know that?"
The corner of the curator's mouth twitched in a fraction of a smirk. "Woman my eyes see..."
"Sound?" Grimmjow asked. "See I knew he was a bat!"
"Grimmjow I..." Ulquiorra paused and spontaneously began bleeding upon realising the stupidity of his own sentence. "...I must seek medical aid."
The ginger laughed. "Stop being silly and come help me with this little guy!" She put her hand out and immediately the dog bounded forward to lick her. "Who's going for walkies? You are! Yes oh yes you are! Bo boo boo bluh boo!"
The two espada rolled their eyes. "I get the feeling this is gonna be a shitty day."
"Agreed." Ulquiorra sighed, eyeing the creature before him. "Only ten hours, thirty seven minutes and fifteen seconds remaining though."
"Yeah thanks. Really know how to cheer me up." Grimmjow snorted. "Now fix that wall up quick; we've got a long shift ahead of us and I wanna grab some booze for it as soon as possible."
"S.K."
The pair looked at her curiously. "The fuck was that?"
"S.K." Orihime repeated. "It's the initials on the collar." She straightened up and scratched her head. "Wonder what his name is. Also what it means."
"Indeed it is rather strange even for Satan to keep something like this hidden, much less guard it as viscously as he did."
The sexta espada just shrugged. "Don't know and don't care. Only thing I want is a drink and a shit right now." The others glared at him and he laughed. "Hey chill; we'll find out tonight right?"
Orihime and Ulquiorra's eyes locked and their frowns deepened. "Indeed we will."
A/N: Hope you guys liked it! I'll post the second part of this once I've moved house and stuff, so that'll probably be even longer than usual I'm afraid. But fear not; it will be done!
