Scrapped bits

Phoning it in - Scrapped

"I'd say it works fine," Hit Girl said as they stared at the turtle who was walking across the ceiling.

"No obvious changes and their biological traits have turned into powers," Merlin agreed, pleased. "Looks like giving you both the Spiderman package should be doable."

"Gecko climbing ability and spider's web creation, but what about danger sense?" Kick Ass asked.

"I think we are going to have to settle for a fly's ability to sense air movement," Merlin said. "It fits the comic book Spiderman's danger sense better than precognition anyway."

"Anything that makes us harder to swat I'm all for," Hit Girl said, amused.

"Having psychic abilities would be cool, but I'm a fan of any power you'd care to pass out," Kick Ass said, "and let me say once more thank you for fulfilling my childhood dreams."

"You're welcome," Merlin said. "It's nice to be appreciated." Merlin turned and stared at the air. "Gotta psychic call coming in. Hey, Karen. Let me check first." Merlin turned to the two costumed heroes. "Mind if I have a friend over? She's from another world."

"Sure," Hit Girl replied with a shrug. "Normally I'd ask if you were nuts, talking to the air and shit, but I'm ready to believe anything at the moment."

"Cool." Merlin extended his hand. "Come on through."

Lines formed in front of him, as it someone had sketched the picture of a young girl in the air, that rapidly filled in with color and depth until he was holding the hand of a living breathing person.

Kick Ass spun around while Hit Girl chuckled. "Let me guess, you gotta teleport naked?"

"No, I just didn't bother with clothes since I'd just end up destroying them anyway," Karen replied. Reluctantly letting go of Merlin's hand she offered her hand to Hit Girl. "Karen."

"Hit Girl," she replied giving Karen a firm shake and surprised to find her matching it despite her newly enhanced strength. She yawned. "Excuse me, late night."

"Clothes please," Kick Ass said loudly, facing away.

Merlin reached through shadow bringing out a silver sundress made of metallic cloth and a pair of matching panties which he handed to Karen. "Try these on."

"They fit fine," Karen said grabbing Merlin's hand, once she was dressed. "So, what are we doing?"

Merlin grinned. "In a world without superpowers, these guys had the… insanity really," he decided after a second, "to become super heroes and somehow the balls to convince the world to go along with it."

"Sounds about right," Hit Girl said amused.

"My brother did the same thing," Karen said with a grin. "Got his friends involved too."

"Yes, but he had superpowers," Merlin pointed out.

"I think it's more of a curse," Karen said. "How did you know? Most people forget."

"I'm not affected by that portion of his curse," Merlin twisted the truth a little.

"What's his power?" Kick Ass asked curiously.

"Rebirth," Merlin replied. "If he dies he wakes up the next morning in bed unharmed and no one remembers."

"Wouldn't the dead body or blood be a dead give away?" Hit Girl asked.

"Rats come out of the shadows and drag it off," Karen replied. "I can't tell you how much that freaked me out the first time I saw it."

"Their world was a very freaky place," Merlin said.

"Even before the robots took over," Karen said. "So, how are you giving these guys powers?"

"I'm enhancing traits from other creatures and transferring them over," Merlin explained.

"Cool," she said with a grin.

"How many geckos are we going to need?" Hit Girl asked as they watched Kick Ass try to lure the turtle off the ceiling with some lettuce on a broom.

"Just the one," Merlin said as he and Karen sat down on the sofa. "Copying powers is easier than making them."

"So all we need is the turtle," Kick Ass said, having finally caught it and feeding it a cherry tomato.

"Yeah, if I add all the powers to him I'll be able to copy them over in one shot, which should cost less energy over all," Merlin said thoughtfully. "If we get him finished today then tomorrow, I can empower at least four people with the full set, maybe more."

"What's next?" Karen asked.

"Now I give this little guy a copy of the upgrades I gave these two," Merlin said tapping the turtle's shell. "Ok, I should have enough left for one last power, then I am tapped out for today."

"What all powers are you giving them?" Karen asked.

"We are trying for something like Spiderman," Merlin explained. "We transferred a gecko's climbing ability, a spider's web creation and I just added the enhancements I made to these two, which are fitness, brute, regen, pain dampening, and finally their blood dissolves metals."

"Their blood dissolves metal?" Karen asked. "I don't recall Spiderman having that, though I can see that making escaping from cuffs a lot easier."

"Bite your finger, smear the blood on the cuffs," Hit Girl said thoughtfully.

"Exactly," Karen agreed. "Of course, Spiderman also had enhanced reflexes, jumping ability, and flexibility."

"Ok, going to have to reduce people I can empower tomorrow to three with four the following day," Merlin said.

"At least Spider sense is easy to copy," Karen said.

"Copy?" Hit Girl asked, thinking of the discussion they'd had on it.

"We've got psychic abilities," Karen said cheerfully.

Merlin smacked himself in the head. "I forgot I could copy my own abilities."

"You've got psychic abilities?" Hit Girl asked. "Besides the phone call thing, I mean."

"Yes," Merlin agreed, "but I'm only really skilled in the use of telepathy. Of course, I have a decent danger sense but it's nothing special and a bit weak compared to the rest of my family."

"You should enhance it," Karen said, leaning against him.

"I just got the ability to create powers directly, so I'm still finding out what I can do with it," Merlin explained with a sigh.

Kick Ass laughed and fed the turtle a carrot. "As far as I'm concerned you are batting a thousand, don't beat yourself up over the little things."

"It's a bit early but how about we go on patrol before we meet up with the gang?" Hit Girl asked. "I'm in the mood to do some damage."

"What type of loadout?" Karen asked eagerly.

"A pair of modded 38 specials filled with rubber bullets," Hit Girl paused to make a jerk off motion with her hand, "to keep my kill count down, a 45 for backup just in case, blade staff, brace of knives and built in knuckle dusters."

"Isn't that a bit light?" Karen asked concerned.

"I know," Hit Girl said with a sigh, "but since the most we usually face is knives or small arms I don't even bother carrying grenades."

"This is New York, not Beirut," Kick Ass said, "and the less bodies the more the police will work with us."

"I can't imagine going anywhere without a pulse rifle and a full auto for backup," Karen said.

"Really?" Hit Girl asked with a smirk. 'Doesn't look like you got much on now."

AN: Decide I could do better and rewrote it.

Phoning it in: Omake

"Why a piglet?" Kick Ass asked as they left the pet store.

"It's cute, harmless, friendly… and edible," Merlin said.

"What?!" the two exclaimed.

"If it needs to be put down it makes up a third of a complete breakfast all on its own," Merlin explained.

"No way!" Kick Ass growled, holding the little black piglet protectively.

Hit Girl examined Merlin carefully. "You're just fucking with us, aren't you?"

Merlin grinned. "If he becomes a dangerous mutated beast… I'll just push him into a world where humans never developed."

She chuckled. "You about had me for a moment there." She turned to Kick Ass. "What are you going to name him?"

"Peter Porker," he replied proudly.

"Dork," she said with a found grin.

AN: The omake I forgot to include

TN: Spiderpig, Spiderpig, does whatever a Spiderpig does, can he swing from a web, no he can't, he is a pig, lookout he is a Spiderpig.

Stand Ins and Stunt Doubles: 1st attempt

"I thought we were building a stand in for Xander," Ted said as he looked over the female android that was taking shape on the table.

"Xander wanted me to upgrade myself to a more effective combat unit so he wouldn't need to worry about me getting dismembered again," Jaime explained. "So we are building an android that will both be able to sub for Xander and test out some of the upgrades I have planned."

"Humans tend to notice little things like the sex of the person they deal with changing from one day to the next," Ted pointed out.

"I've included self alteration capabilities," Jamie assured him. "Unless they remove her pants she'll be able to impersonate him easily."

"What's her programming like?" Ted asked, handing Jamie a soldering iron.

"I used a copy of my base programing with extrapolated data from personal observations and files on Xander," she replied.

"When we get around to making a male android, let me know so I can contribute to his programming," Ted said. "I've always wanted a son."

Jamie paused in her work. "I'll write it to file. I hadn't considered the fact that Xandra here could be considered my daughter before."

"Yours and Xander's." Ted agreed. "So what other upgrades are you testing?"

"Improved alloy and artificial muscle fibers for one," Jamie said, getting back to work. "Strength should double and durability should multiply by a factor of twelve of more. The real benefit of the muscle fibers isn't the strength it's the increase in speed and precision. It'll actually require an additional processor to learn how to perform physical tasks and much like real muscles they will require a brief recover time, however they'll move much smoother and motor burn out will be a thing of the past."

"If it works we should all upgrade," Ted said.

AN: Forgot where I put this so I restarted it.

Stand Ins and Stunt Doubles 2nd attempt

"Why is he female?" Ted asked as he looked at the android 'duplicate' of Xander, April and Jamie had created.

"Originally it was going to be my new body," Jamie explained.

"But having a stand in so Xander doesn't get fired takes precedence at the moment," April said giving Ted a kiss on the cheek.

"As long as no one gets 'his' clothes off, I suppose it doesn't really matter," Ted said. "A little cosmetic alteration and he'll work as a stand in while we make him a male body so you can use this one," He told Jamie.

"It was going to be an experimental body anyway," Jamie said. "I was going to test combat designs for demon hunting with it and use the data from that to build my new body."

"I'm sure 'Xander' won't mind running the tests for you," April said. "We all know how he feels about vampires."

AN: Realized I'd mixed up the time gradients and time moved faster in Pylea… so I scrapped it and started over, trashing the entire planned plot line. It's a shame because Woods dating a female Xander bot would have been hilarious!

Typing by: fyrewolf5