A Haunting Halloween
A/N: So, I figured 'tis the season for another update. As a huge fan of Halloween myself, I couldn't let the opportunity for more escapades pass me by and so here we are…
"The Soul Society?!"
"That is what you said, yes."
"You want to negotiate a peace treaty with the Soul Society?!"
"Yes…that was literally the last sentence that came out of my mouth."
"Yeah but…the Soul So-…"
"YES!" The others shouted in unison, causing Grimmjow to jump back in surprise.
"YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO…?!" Nnoitora started before immediately being bitch-slapped into next week by Starrk.
"Yes…" Szayel paused, taking a moment to process the magnitude of what he was going to say, "We...will ask for aid."
"FROM THE..?!" Grimmjow began shouting but then immediately quietened down once Halibel's pimp hand of god was flashed at him, "…the Soul Society?! That's beyond…"
"Insane." Zommari finished, appearing in the middle of them all with a blunt in hand. "What?"
The other conspirators gawked at him. "How did…?! Where did…?!"
He shrugged them off. "Szayel keeps a secret stash in the back of his lab. Plus, you know, 420 am I right?"
At this point Szayel realised that it was best to keep the information that a) it was quarter to 2 in the afternoon and b) he was smoking feline excrement in a bandage to himself. "So…you haven't alerted Aizen or Tousen to us yet…"
"Or Ulquiorra." Zommari added, taking another puff of the cat shit like his life depended on it. "I'll level with you guys; I don't really give a shit about these plans. But equally," He puffed again, fumigating the room with the odour to the point where grimmjow had to cover his nose to prevent himself from vomiting, "I don't give a shit about Aizen. I thought I did a week ago but then he took away my stuff and now I'm reduced to smoking this low-quality stuff. I mean, I'm not even sure its…"
"The fucks your point?" Grimmjow mumbled through his hands.
The dark-skinned arrancar shrugged. "Fuck I dunno man…I'm in I guess? Just give me my stash back; its all I want."
Halibel's eyes narrowed. "Sounds like a pretty flimsy reason. In fact I'll tell you what it sounds like," She moved forward, menacingly glaring at the man, "Sounds to me like a spy."
Silence descended on the room as the others contemplated the situation…for all of one second before Zommari yawned. "Fair but that's just, like, your opinion and shit. How do we know you're not a-…?"
"HE IS USUALLY LIKE THIS!" Syazel chipped in, saving his comrade from the disembowelment he would have suffered if he'd finished that sentence. "S-So…to get back on track, you're in?"
The newcomer nodded. "Or you can just lock me in a box with some LSD. Either works."
"We would love to have your help." Orihime chimed in, who had been unusually quiet for a protagonist so far in this chapter. "Though…how do we do this?"
"First of all, we need to establish contact." Starrk said, cracking his knuckles and limbering up his body. "And by contact, I mean the type that's not going to get any of you killed."
"Agreed." Halibel nodded, "I can't see them welcoming a group of evolved hollows into their good books because we hate the same asshole."
Orihime raised her hand. "I could talk to them! They know me and I'm…somewhat…"
"You're trustworthy?" Grimmjow volunteered.
"Y-Yeah…" She blushed, remembering that one time she broke into the Soul Society, breaking god knows how many rules in the process. "Maybe…we need some added help."
"What if…?" Szayel started but was interrupted by an outer perimeter alarm. "Well kids that's all the time we have this week. Dammit we need more time to work this out!"
"Like that's gonna happen." Nnoitora groaned, finally getting up from his coma. "Lord Asshat will have the place run like a prison. No offense."
Orihime shrugged. "None taken; it's the best prison I've been in."
Grimmjow blinked. "You've been in other prisons before?! But you're pure as shit."
"Well I haven't…but…"
"But what?" Aizen asked, materialising from thin air to glower at her. "What is it this time? And why did I know that you would be responsible for this."
"I…" Orihime tried but choked on her words due to the immense reiatsu he was producing.
The Lord of Hueco Mundo scoffed. "Whatever excuse you have can wait."
And with that the two vanished from the group.
-Several seconds later across the castle-
Tentatively, Orihime approached the throne of Hueco Mundo, her head still coming to grips with the sudden change in environment. "Lord Aizen?"
The Shinigami sighed, relaxing into his throne. "Yes, before you ask, I do move this quickly and yes, I am comfortable. Now, whatever foolery you were planning with my troops can surely wait until after I have spoken to you."
The redhead gulped, unsure of whether or not their plans had been caught out. "You're…angry at me. F-For distracting them again?"
"Obviously, but you are in look." Aizen's eyes bored into hers like lasers. "Luckily for you, I have need of your…talents."
"He's not aware…" Orihime began to think then stopped herself, still unsure whether or not Aizen could actually read thoughts. "You want me to sing for you?"
Her captor blinked. "I…potentially. I was hoping you would cause a distraction for me."
Orihime blinked this time. "You…want me to…distract the Espada?"
He nodded. "Only for a night, then we shall be swiftly returning to out battle planning. Is that understood?"
"Yes! Yes of course!" Orihime smiled as sincerely as she could. "Erm…why though?" Aizen's eyes narrowed and she felt her soul leave her body a little. "J-J-Just s-so I don't…y'know…step on your toes or anything…he he."
After a small pause, he decided that the answer satisfied him. "Gin. I…underestimated the various machinations he had set in place."
"Gin?!" Orihime exclaimed.
Aizen nodded gravely. "Yes. It seems that in the event of his incapacitation he had set up…contingencies."
Orihime noticed that the air in the throne room dropped by at least 10 degrees. "What…sort of…contingencies?"
It was Aizen's turn to shudder, something that frightened Orihime more than any battle opponent she had faced before. "The man is…the things that he has…its unfathomable." He regained his postured and resumed boring into her soul. "Nevertheless, that is my concern. Yours is keeping the others busy while I deal with them. I cannot afford any more casualties this close to the war."
"Other casualties…?" Orihime began but then remembered she was inches away from obliteration. "Sorry sorry! I…Erm…I mean its Halloween right around now?"
Hueco Mundo's ruler's eyes halted their assault for a moment. "So it is. Are you suggesting…?"
"A party!" Orihime finished for him. "I mean…I think they're a little old for trick or treating right?"
"Not mentally." Aizen murmured to himself then rose from his chair. "Go. You have my blessing to use whatever resources are necessary for this final night of distraction, but once the morning comes know that you will be returned to your cell for good.
"Thank you A-…Lord Aizen." She bowed and turned to leave, but somehow managed to stop herself to ask one final question. "S-Sorry but…shall I make arrangements for all the Espada's along with yourself and commander Tousen."
He shook his head. "This job will require both of our efforts, so I shall entrust your supervision to Ulquiorra once more. And do not under any circumstances leave the castle or look outside, lest you be instilled with true fear."
A shiver ran up her spine. "Yessir! I'll…keep them at Syazel's lab. Thank you!"
-Back at the lab, several hours later-
"So, the purpose of this event is to instil fear into the hearts of your neighbours?"
"No Ulquiorra, it's about dressing up and getting the most amount of sweets from them."
"My research indicates that it originally was there to celebrate the dead who have…"
"Fuck that boring shit, it's about getting wasted with people you know."
"I can work with that." Zommari chipped in then proceeded to inhale yet another keg of beer. "I can work with this all day and night."
After summoning the Espada to explain the situation, Aizen had somehow managed to turn what should have been an enjoyable and bonding experience of setting up the party into one filled with an ominous gloom and unspoken tension.
"At least I can release my true form." Baraggan sulked, attempting to eat some more of the snacks on the side but instead making them decay as soon as he came near them. "…Me, I hate this place."
"Did you just refer to yourself as a god, god?" Aaroniero asked, fully committing to the one event they were invited to by showing off their poorly made Phantom of The Opera costume.
"I am a damned god! I was the god of this whole place until…I am a god!" He pouted before deciding to move to another snack table.
From the other corner of the room Szayel observed him curiously in his Spooky Spider costume. "It's a shame he's such an asshole, otherwise he'd be a great asset to the team."
"What team?" Ulquiorra asked, appearing behind him out of nowhere in a fashion true to his Batman outfit.
"I thought your eyes saw everything?" Grimmjow snorted, opening the helmet on his Black Panther costume to glare at him. "Or do you just see the inside of Aizen's asshole these days?"
The curator's eyes met his with indifference. "If you wish to get a rise out of me then you are wasting your time. I am merely here to observe this party as part of the duties laid out by Lord Aizen and Commander Tousen. And as you know…"
He waited expectedly for the sentence to be finished, but all he received was a gruff "Fuck yourself" as the sexta espada left him to re-join the others.
"Yeah you're kind of a fuckwad." Nnoitora added, slapping his empty cup into Ulquiorra's chest. "Kinda like some perverted creep that likes to watch others fuck from a closet, except you're probably more interested in the colour of bedsheets than the action."
"Hey Nnoitora; the apple bobbing is starting soon." Syazel mentioned, shooting a dirty look at Ulqiorra. "Thought you didn't want to miss Halibel and Orihime getting their clothes wet."
"What is this apple bobbing you speak of?" Ulquiorra asked after hearing his guard's name mentioned. "If it is dangerous then I cannot…"
"Starrk's watching it so they'll be safe." Syazel told him. "Plus, Halibel's ability is literally to do with water. No need to worry yourself with something exciting."
"I do not feel excitement." Ulquiorra said quietly but they had already left him to his thoughts. "Though I do feel…no, I do not. I cannot feel. That is how I was made."
The middle of the room suddenly became packed as Starrk and Halibel carried two huge buckets of water into the centre and placed them down. "Alright; apple bobbing is about to begin! Can we have a kind thanks for Szayel's Fracción for being the apples."
"Hold up; this isn't some gay man-eating fetish shit?!" Nnoitora shouted to several eye rolls.
"The Fracción used here are designed to restore any Espada to full strength regardless of their injuries." Szayel explained, rubbing his temples. "They're an offshoot of my personalised minions and I thought it would be a good chance to test them." The other guests blinked. "They're also apple flavoured."
"Ohhhhh!" The room said in unison, with a little "I like apples" being added at the end by Zommari from underneath the food table.
"I'll go first!" Orihime enthusiastically exclaimed, bouncing up to the barrels as Nnoitora watched with delight. "So, its simple; you can't use your hands to get the apples, just your teeth and your wits. Fastest time wins and the winner gets to pick the next activity. And no abilities." She added at the end, causing Halibel to groan.
"This seems like a lot of effort for an apple." Ulquiorra stated, then flinched at the intensity of the glare he received from Orihime.
"At least the apple will make the effort I put in worthwhile." She snapped then dove headfirst into the barrel.
Szayel and Halibel exchanged glances. "Fuck me she's pissed at him."
"Damn right she is; guy left her for some dude with a creepy throne."
"I did not leave her, I am right here." The fourth espada added in but received two more glares for his trouble. "I am designed to…"
"Be an asshole, we get it." Halibel told him, folding her arms. "In fact now we have this opportunity, let's talk."
"What opportunity?" Ulquiorra asked but was answered by Orihime's legs going vertical as she was sucked into the barrel. "You told me…"
"She's fine, just incapacitated for a little bit." Halibel explained, her Zanpakutō gently moving in circles at her side so that she didn't cut her jaws costume. "Let's discuss how much you have fucked up."
"Yeah, lets discuss it!" Grimmjow chipped in, storming across the room to point an accusing finger at his comrade. "You fucked her up!"
Szayel quirked an eyebrow. "You did the same thing though…"
"But I apologised and actually felt bad!" He shouted, waving his arms around wildly. "And when I knew I was wrong I admitted it instead of hiding behind some bullshit make believe fantasy that I was destined to be some fucking tool."
"You are a tool though…" Nnoitora quipped but received an elbow to the kidney by Clint Eastwood aka Starrk. "Damn man, I was promised wet titties and head bobbing!"
"But I cannot feel…"
"YES YOU CAN!" The room groaned, rolling their eyes in unison.
Ulquiorra frowned. "My eyes see everything. I cannot see these feelings. They cannot exist. My logic is undeniable."
"You couldn't my gay ass." Szayel told him. "And you couldn't see what would happen in Infinity War. And don't pretend you chose that costume because it was the most convenient thing you could grab."
"I…" He tried but his mind was already racing. "My purpose is to observe everything and maintain the order that Lord Aizen desires. What would any of these things add to improve my functionality?"
"He's starting to get it!" Starrk smiled, folding his arms. "Put it this way kid; why does Lilynette piss her pants during the night still? Why does Nnoitora still try and sneak a peak at the girls when they're showering? Why has Grimmjow done everything in his power to get away from the water that is in the middle of the room?"
"Well there…there must be a reason. Aizen is responsible for many plans and unseen works that will…"
"Unseen?" Halibel quirked an eyebrow. "But we thought you saw everything."
In that moment stopped working. "But…eyes…see everything but…plans…but…what is…?!"
"Yeah if Aizen made us perfect, why have I got haemorrhoids?" Baraggan added. "What; it's a valid question?"
"…Oh no I was wrong." Ulquiorra's eyes widened as he realised that his entire life was a lie. "But then that means…"
"SHUN SHUN RIKKA!" The barrel containing the ryoka girl exploded, showering everything and everything with water. "Halibel…why?!"
The third espada felt a pang of guilt. "We…had to talk to Ulquiorra for a second but…"
"I almost choked on my boobs!" She coughed, and suddenly Nnoitora was interested again. "Wait…talk about what?"
Ulquiorra snapped back to reality, and realised that there was indeed gravity in the situation. "Woman I…"
Orihime's face instantly soured. "I'm fine, don't worry. Aizen won't be upset that his captive is hurt, so don't bother."
"While I am glad you are uninjured that was not…"
"Ulquiorra I said I was fine. Don't bother pretending you're concerned. See; no broken bones or damaged lungs! Now go back to doing your work."
The other Espadas glanced awkwardly at one another. "Should we go?"
Orihime flashed a dangerous look at Grimmjow. "Go where? The game has just begun! Don't you want to have fun with me?!"
Halibel and Starrk took that instant to Sonído Grimmjow and the others right the fuck out of that conversation until everyone else in the room was hiding in the corners out of the duo's line of sight.
"I was wrong." Ulquiorra told her, his face flushing with the slightest hint of red. "I was wrong to assume that I did not…"
"Werll I'm glad you've worked that out." Orihime crossed her arms and glared at him. "Congrats. So what, are you going to be more efficient at keeping me a prisoner? Have your stats in being mean to me raised by 2%? Don't worry, the only thing you'll have to worry about from my end is me hurting myself trying to get away from your boring ass."
It was hard for Szayel not to snap his fingers at the burns but by some divine magic he managed not to. In fact, even Baraggan and Aaroniero were silent despite not knowing what the fuck was going on. "Woman…I am…"
"Orihime!" She shouted, tearing up a little bit. "That's my name you…you…I'm Orihime!"
"We thought she was the corpse bride, bride?" Aaroniero whispered but instantly fell silent again. "Sorry, our bad."
For the first time in his creation, Ulquiorra felt a not in his throat. "I…know. Wo-…Orihime, I know who you are. I see you."
"Because your eyes see everything?!" She was letting the tears fall now. "Can you see this?!"
She flipped him off and the curator flinched, along with all of his comrades. "I can…but only now. Before I could not and for that I am truly sorry." With that he bowed his head and, to the surprise of the others there, headed towards the exit. "It appears that I would be better suited observing from outside of the festivities."
"You're leaving?!" She yelped, feeling both stunned and hurt.
He nodded. "I can now that my presence will only exacerbate this celebration, and as it is your final one, I will not impose. While I am new to these…feelings, I understand that much. Take this act as a token of my sincerity. Now, I believe the best place to stand will be…why are you hugging me?"
"Don't go." She quietly told him, burying her head into his back.
The curator's expression was one of pure confusion. "But you…I assumed that after what I had done you wanted me to…"
"Never assume man." Grimmjow finally chipped in, smirking at his friend. "First rule of this kinda shit is that we know nothing."
"Smart kitty." Halibel scratched his chin in agreement.
"What the hell is going on?!" Baraggan groaned.
"I have no idea but I shall accept it." Ulquiorra told him, then turned to fully embrace the ginger girl. "Thank you Orihime."
"Ulqui's back!" She cooed into his bat symbol and suddenly all was right in Las Noches.
"Aight enough of this soppy shit; lets plan on fucking up Aizen." Nnoitora said, finally accepting that he wasn't going to see any wet costumes that night. "Now's the best time since him and Ass-Licker 3000 are busy doing whatever they're doing."
"As tactless as he is…" Szayel scowled at his crush, "He's right. Now's the best time to plan."
"Now you've lost us, the fuck?!" Aaroniero asked and Baraggan nodded in agreement.
Grimmjow looked at the two warily. "Basically, we're gonna commit treason and go hang out with some soul society fuckers so that Aizen doesn't kill us."
The two Espada looked at each other and shrugged. "Sure."
Szayel blinked. "'Sure'?"
"That asshole's been king for too long now." Baraggan growled, extending his aura slightly in anger. "Its time we put that asshole back at the bottom of the pile."
"We'll help too, too." Aaroniero chimed in, standing up to their full height. "Just so long as we get all of his things at the end of it, we want his cool shit."
"That was easy then." Grimmjow shrugged then turned to Starrk and Halibel. "So, I think…"
"You intend to betray Aizen?" Ulquiorra asked, pulling away from the now calmed down girl at his waist. "Indeed, that is high treason."
"Ahhh don't be a cunt about it!" Nnoitora growled at him. "You're not really gonna side with that pompous prick, are you?!"
Ulquiorra thought for a moment. "He did create us. We are here to serve his purpose and act as an extension of his will. Even though we may be imperfect and have our own thoughts, ultimately that is what we are designed to do."
"But is that what you want to do, Ulqui?" Orihime sniffed, staring wide eyed at her friend.
"…I…wish to defend Las Noches and its inhabitants."
"And what if its greatest threat is from Aizen himself?" Starrk asked him, his half smile giving away the fact that he already knew his subordinate's answer.
The curator did not disappoint. "Indeed, if that is the case then I shall defend against him too."
"Yeah woohoo and stuff but how?!" Nnoitora huffed. "How the fuck are we supposed to go against that asshole?! Sheer power vs power I'm sure we'd lose, and that Soul Society shit sounds like a bust too if we can't get ahold of them."
Szayel was shocked. "My intelligence seems to be rubbing off on you."
"Yeah and that'll be the only thing of yours rubbing off on me." The fifth espada glared at him, making him blush. "Where the fuck even are those two anyways?!"
"Battling the Kraken that Gin produced." Ulquiorra informed them. "…Indeed, upon reflection even I did not see that coming and until recently my eyes…"
"Saw everything. The still do." Orihime finished with her first genuine smile of the event. "Well Batman none of us saw that either. Gin's too good…wait, Gin's too good!"
Szayel and Starrk's eyes met. "Shit, Gin's too good! Of course!"
Grimmjow flinched. "I mean, he's anything but good. Hell, I'm pretty convinced that that thing with the silver hair is Satan incarnate."
"Exactly." Halibel smirked, realising what they were onto. "Which is why he is perfect for defeating our so-called god."
Both Nnoitora and Grimmjow gawked at her. "NO FUCKING WAY!"
"Yes freaking way!" Orihime cheered. "Gin's gonna help us kick his butt!"
Szayel's smile suddenly vanished. "Yeah…ok say that again but slower."
"Gin's gonna…help…we're doomed aren't we?"
"Indeed." Starrk sighed. "Oh well; anyone up for a suicidal assault while they're fighting that kraken thing?"
"Orihime is correct." Ulquiorra spoke and all eyes descended on him. "Gin will help us, willingly on unwillingly."
"And how the fuck will he do that?" Grimmjow laughed. "If he was nothing but dust he'd still find a way to fuck with us!"
"True, but he is currently incapacitated." The bat man continued. "As such, I believe now would be our best chance to gather any information he has that could help us. Namely from his living quarters."
Nnoitora was horrified. "You're seriously thinking of storming his castle?! Are you fucking insane?!"
"No." Ulquiorra turned and shone the first full smile of his existence at Orihime. "I'm batman."
A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed this and don't die from eating too much candy!
