Ranma Bits – NRM

Bit 1 Yet Still Even More Fragments 5

Bit 2 Yet Still Even More Fragments 7

Nabiki groaned. She and Mihoshi had turned themselves over to Ranma for training to help make up for their unimpressive practical scores. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but then Nabiki had forgotten that while Ranma was a world class martial artist he'd gotten that way from training under Genma Saotome and nearly everything Ranma knew about training came from either the completely insane ideas of Genma Saotome or the marginally more sane mind of Cologne of the Jusenkyo Amazons.

And learning their training exercises filtered through the mind of one Ranma 'Anything can be training' Saotome… she really wasn't sure if that made things better or worse.

Pushing herself back to her feet she prepared to face Ranma again. She'd jumped at the chance to practice grappling (damn hormones!) with Ranma figuring he'd go easy on her, completely forgetting that Ranma's 'Don't hit girls' viewpoint only applied to certain situations, and that outside of them Ranma would cheerfully treat a female opponent just like a male one, albeit with a lot more insulting comments, due to his chronic foot in mouth disease.

AN: This was going to be used in the NRM thread before Bast's Anime Addventure board died, I had quite a bit planned and ready for it.

NRM Clan Saotome?!

Hiashi stepped into the training hall, his eyes instantly taking in the group of battered trainers, a few of whom were just below him in skill. Any thought of this being a simple matter of slapping down an upstart genin were instantly wiped away as he took in the completely untouched Ranma.

Seeing Hiashi the group of trainers quickly surrounded him, showing him the clan formation papers and talking animatedly with lots of hand motions, completely unlike the normally stoic clan.

"I think I've already proven my point, without having to defeat your clan head," Ranma said dryly to Neji.

Neji nodded. "Yes, but I would still find the sight of you defeating my clan head tremendously inspiring."

Ranma chuckled, knowing what Neji was really saying. "Fine, but you better treat Hinata and Hanabi as your beloved little sisters.

Neji barely had to think about it. "Agreed."

"Good, just to show I'm taking this match seriously, I'll need a glass of cold water before I begin," Ranma said, deciding to hedge his bets.

"Pardon, before we begin, may I ask your opinion of my daughter Hinata?" Hiashi asked.

"Okay, but I ain't going to sugarcoat it," Ranma warned him, as the shadow clone knew he had even less tact than the original since he didn't have to worry about consequences.

"I understand, please continue."

"Hinata has a lot of potential, but has had most of her spirit crushed because you guys don't know crap about psychology. It's going to take me some time to get her back up to snuff." Ranma scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Fortunately, I already got Naruto to use as a motivational tool which has the added bonus of making him notice she's a girl before she snaps, ties him down and rapes him."

"You think shy, gentle Hinata is going to snap?" Tenten asked doubtfully.

"Sure," Ranma said easily. "With all the crap that's been dumped on her she's pretty much a ticking time bomb. If she didn't care about the branch family so much she'd have walked into the center of the complex and sent out a chakra pulse to activate the caged bird seal and slaughtered most of the clan already."

"Caged bird seal?" Tenten asked, Neji not having shared the secret with his teammates yet.

"Some moron came up with the brilliant idea of making sure they could keep control of their bloodline by putting seals on everyone but those in charge so anyone who even knows a little about seals could kill off the majority of the clan with little effort."

"Not exactly," Hiashi said as he considered the truth of what Ranma was saying.

"Hell, just to make it more likely one of them was going to pull an Itachi they decided that those in charge would use the seal to torture people when they disagreed. Really, it's only a matter of time until it happens. Hell, Naruto's probably going to set it off on accident one of these days trying out new jutsus since he has more chakra than the hokage and less control than a first year student."

All clan members present had gotten very pale as Ranma talked aloud.

"Except for keeping people from killing branch members for their eyes it's pretty useless for what it's designed to do and really all that does is make people concentrate on kidnapping main branch Hyugas."

"How does it fail at keeping our bloodline from spreading?" Hiashi asked, wondering where Ranma had gotten all his information from.

"Well, all any male branch member who wants to rebel against being enslaved is have sex while out on a mission fully intending to get the woman pregnant," Ranma said bluntly. "Of course, you can also just collect the balls off a freshly dead branch member and transplant them into another nin. Sure they won't function for long before the body rejects them, but how many women can a willing man impregnate in a week? So you see, the seal is worthless for doing anything but weakening the clan with infighting."

The room was dead silent while Ranma thought out loud. "Hell, it's like the seal with designed to insure the death of your clan. It turns the two sides against one another and make any outsiders wanting the bloodline target the main branch, whereas the seal makes leaving the branch members a single hand sign from extinction."

A branch member who'd gone to get Ranma a cold glass of water found the room silent as he returned. "What did I miss?"

"Not much," Hiashi replied calmly, showing the iron control that made him an excellent leader in a crisis. "Gather the full council together and tell our seal master that I want a way to remove the caged bird seal from everyone and to design a seal that just destroys the eyes and reproductive organs when you die."

"Y-yes Hiashi-sama," the branch member said before handing the glass to Ranma and hurrying off.

"So, you're training my daughter Hinata?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Yep. Thanks to her bloodline and caring nature I'm pretty sure I can get her onto the road to becoming a mednin like Tsunade."

"That's a tall order, Hinata has never been the most determined or skilled kunoichi."

Ranma shrugged. "And fish are lousy runners. The trick is to find what she could do and point her in the right direction. Using her eyes she can do things most mednin can't. We'll have to develop some new techniques to take advantage of that, but it'll give her an advantage over any other mednin there is."

Hiashi's eyebrow rose at Ranma's casual talk of inventing techniques, something he'd think was an idle boast if not for the row of defeated clansmen.

"As for determination, you've been working against her basic nature, making her try to harm people she cares for, I'm going to be working with it emphasizing how she can use what she learns to protect and care for them." Ranma smirked. "Once you've accidentally gotten between a mother bear and her cub you never forget the potential of a protective female."

"Hinata is hardly a bear."

Ranma nodded. "She's worse, she's a human being and we're much more vindictive and creative than any animal."

Hiashi nodded conceding the point. "Do you have any other intentions towards her?"

"Nope. She's a friend of Naruto, who's like a little brother to me and by training them together I can push them that much harder."

Hiashi waved the trainer holding Ranma's paperwork over. "You have done much for my clan this day. Would you accept a traditional alliance between my clan and yours to guarantee the council's approval on your clan founding?"

Ranma nodded, a bit surprised.

"Excellent," Hiashi said quickly, filling out several sections of the paperwork. "Neji as your first act as heir to the Hyuga clan, would you like to sign as a show of support?"

"Heir?" Neji asked in shock, but then he and the rest of the team had been in shock since Ranma had discussed the caged bird seal and Hiashi had sent for the clan's seal master with the intention of removing them.

"Yes, your father and I had discussed the possibility of absolving the caged bird seal but were unable to garner enough support among the council. Now however Mr. Saotome has shown the flaws in the system in such a way that it can't be argued with. In fact, anyone that does attempt to argue for it I'm simply going to kill. Since we are doing away with the caged bird seal we can also disperse with the majority of the branch-main family split and what better way to show it than by making you the heir?"

"I see, and Hinata?" he asked while examining and signing the paperwork.

"Hinata has neither the temperment not the desire to be Heir and would be much happier without the added pressure, I think we can all agree that figuring out how to adapt the byakugan to enhance a mednins healing skills is not only an important and productive use of her time, but also something she's much more suited for."

Honeymoon with fireworks

"Please treat me well," Hanabi said formally when Ranma answered the door.

Ranma stepped back and let the eight year old girl enter, not even paying attention as several branch members filed in behind her carrying her possessions and instantly began putting them away in his room.

Hanabi handed Ranma a scroll that he carefully unrolled and began to read, unsurprising Nabiki instantly appeared at his shoulder and began to read along with him.

Nabiki and Ranma froze as they realized what they'd done when they'd signed the papers earlier.

They were unsure of how long they stood there frozen, but it was long enough for one of the retainers to hand Mihoshi her copy of the papers before they departed and for her to read it before the two found themselves being glomped by a crying Mihoshi who was incoherent with joy.

They could tell it was joy because while Mihoshi had about as much skill at radiating killing intent as a nervous kitten she was currently radiating something at them so intensely that the only reason they hadn't passed out with nosebleeds from the visions it induced was because she was glomping them so tight it was cutting off blood flow.

"I better rest up for tomorrow night," Mihoshi said blushing brightly and releasing the two, who collapsed to the floor as she merrily went to Nabiki's room.

"Tomorrow night?" Ranma asked.

"You'll see Sato… hubby," Nabiki said before getting to her feet and going to her room a bit confused over her own feelings on the matter and not nearly as upset as she thought she should be.

Ranma got to his feet and got ready for bed on autopilot his mind still reeling from what filling out a piece of paper had done.

Climbing into bed he rolled onto his side and reality smacked him in the face in the form of a naked eight year old Hanabi Saotome.

"I am ready, Ranma-sama," she said with just the faintest tremble in her voice.

'Ready for what?' his mind wondered and hoped the answer was to put on clothes.

Seeing Hanabi's nerves getting worse by the second as she started to tremble Ranma put off his own mental breakdown to deal with her problem first. "Are you okay?"

"I'm nervous," Hanabi admitted.

"About what?" Ranma asked.

"I've never made love before and while the nurse has explained things to me, I am still slightly nervous about performing my wifely duties," Hanabi whispered like she was sharing a secret.

If he hadn't been frozen with shock there would have been a loud boom as Ranma fled, probably through the wall, however unable to flee instantly as his first impulse insisted, he quickly realized how that would look to Hanabi… his wife.

"Are you sure the contract doesn't just say sleep together?" Ranma stalled as he, for once in his life, envied Genma's ability to escape any situation without an ounce of guilt.

"I have heard the phrase used in relation to making love, but it says specifically make love and my father brought in a nurse to explain things to me," Hanabi whispered.

Scrambling for an answer that wouldn't make him want to commit seppuku, Ranma decided he'd simply interpret the words the way he wanted and kill anyone who disagreed. Ranma began to smile. Yes, he would simply kill anyone who suggested the words make love meant sex in this situation.

Hanabi gave Ranma a tentative smile as he smiled at her, hoping it wasn't going to be as painful as the nurse warned it might be for such a young bride.

"Well this part of making love involves the sleeping together part. Sex doesn't come into it for years," Ranma said firmly.

"Really?" Hanabi asked confused, after all she'd talked to several branch members as well as the nurse and they'd prepared her for something completely different from what Ranma was suggesting.

"Really," Ranma assured her. "This part involves wearing pajamas and me rubbing your back until you fall asleep."

"That's part of making love?" she asked doubtfully.

"Ask anyone and they'll tell you that being held is part of making love," Ranma assured her while helping her put on her pajamas. "Love takes time to build."

"Okay," Hanabi said agreeably laying back down and cuddling up to Ranma.

Rubbing her back till she fell asleep Ranma thought about his current situation. He was married! Hell, he was married three times over. The idea of being married to Nabiki used to scare him, but she was very different here than she was back in Nerima. Maybe it was just a side effect of her being younger, but Nabiki was a lot warmer. Yeah, being married to Nabiki didn't upset him at all.

Mihoshi… Wow that girl was affectionate! A bit disaster prone, but she always meant well, which made up for a lot as far as Ranma was concerned. Being married to Mihoshi wasn't a chore, in any sense of the word.

Ranma looked down at the girl in his arms, asleep with a cute little smile on her face. He didn't know much about Hanabi, just that she was brave enough to do what she felt was her duty even while she was clearly afraid. He had to admire her for that.

Hanabi Saotome… they were all three Saotome's! He-he'd never be alone again!

Ranma did his best not to show it, but the years on the road had left their mark on him and not just in the way he wasn't able to pass up free food. He'd spent the majority of his life with just his father for company, when his father wasn't off doing something, leaving him to practice on his own, so he tended to be very possessive of his friends and now he had three that he didn't have to worry about leaving behind.

They were better than friends, they were his family, Ranma thought possessively as he fell asleep.

The Next Morning

Ranma's eyes popped open when he heard the clicking of a camera and found Nabiki taking pictures of him and Hanabi curled up in bed together.

"That is going in our photo album," Nabiki said with a grin.

"Morning, Nabiki."

"Morning, sweety," Nabiki said wistfully, much to Ranma's surprise.

"Sweety?"

"Ever since I was a little girl, I've had this picture in my head of waking up and giving my hubby a kiss and I'd say good morning, sweety and he'd reply good morning, honey," Nabiki explained.

Ranma wasn't completely dense when it came to women, just mostly, so he pointed his lips in Nabiki's direction and puckered up.

Surprised, but pleased, Nabiki leaned down and kissed Ranma. It was little more than a peck but it seemed to satisfy her. "Good morning, sweety."

"Good morning, honey."

Nabiki couldn't hide how happy that simple exchange made her, fulfilling a childhood dream of hers as it did, so she quickly changed the subject. "How'd things go with Hanabi? I know it couldn't have been easy and I don't just mean physically."

Ranma gestured and a pair of clones appeared and left the room to start breakfast. "The contract said 'make love' several times and even 'sleep with' once or twice, but at no point did it say 'have sex'. I already have a foolproof plan to deal with anyone who disagrees."

Not really all that comfortable with the topic to begin with Nabiki was happy to let it slide. "I better go wake up Mihoshi, she hates to miss breakfast."

"And I have to wake Hanabi for school," Ranama said. "I'm surprised Anko hasn't snuck in and attacked us yet."

"We have two weeks honeymoon leave," Nabiki explained.

Typing by: fyrewolf5

TN: These are all great bits, would love to see them expanded more.

AN: Sadly the entire site the thread was on is gone, leaving these as orphans. I had some great scenes planned too, like one where Ranma attempts to kill Danzo by using the chestnut fist and flinging a shop full of pointy weapons at him for trying to make him fulfill the terms of the agreement with the Hyuga clan.