Arrancar Weekly Gin-show Part 2

A/N: Quarantine is ending, but the misery called Gin lives on...

Orihime blinked. "Erm...b-business?"

"Business."

"As in... stocks and stuff?"

"Business."

"Like with little business cards that will electrocute me when I..." She trailed off, swallowing after seeing his look maintained. "Sorry, ok I'm listening."

"Then listen good." Gin sighed, rubbing his temples and sitting up slowly. "We don't have much time before Capt'n Aizen gets here, and those hollows can only be kept busy for so long. I'm getting ya out of here."

Orihime blinked again. "Getting what now?"

"Out of here." He told her. "'Outie' as the kids say. Now its not been an easy process..."

"As in out of Hueco Mundo?" The redhead's voice was still wavering, but more out of genuine surprise than fear. "But...how? Why? W-When?!"

The silver fox rolled his head around, cracking his neck methodically until all of the pain had gone. "I'll do it in order for ya; through my personal Garganta, 'cos you don't belong here 'nd as soon as I can stand. Mind helping me with the last one?"

Before she knew what she was doing her arms were under his shoulders, shakily helping him to his feet. Once he had his balance, her senses returned and she recoiled in primal fear from the mass of living chaos before her. "WAIT WHAT?! B-B-But you're the bad g-guy! You're supposed to be...bad!"

Gin's trademark grin crept back slowly onto his face, which offered her some strange form of comfort. "Oh I'm bad. Reeeeaaaaal bad. I don't need to tell ya that; you've seen it."

"Then why...?"

He shrugged. "Ya remind me of someone who's not so bad. Does it matter?"

"HECK YEAH IT DOES!" She screamed, her eyes scanning the room for any traps or hidden cameras. It had to be a prank after all, right? She was live on Arrancar TV or whatever evil scheme was next on his list. "IS IT THE FLOOR?! IS THE FLOOR GOING TO EXPLODE?!"

"No..." The soul reaper paused, then laughed, "...ok yeah it will, but later. No explodey things for you today."

"But...YOU'RE GIN?! R-Right? I mean you're not some sort of clone or something? Or evil robot sent from the real Gin? Or a clone of a robot sent by the real Gin who's hiding in my room reading..."

"Shhhh." He put a finger over her mouth, silencing her, then pointed to the set of drawers beside her. "Top draw."

"Erm, no way am I opening that!" She huffed, folding her arms. "That's definitely going to be made of some...horrible thing that'll creep me out."

Gin's shoulders sagged. "Look we really don't have time...so put it this way. Name one time I pranked you."

"Well there's the time with the corridors, the time with the swimming, the time with the dog, the time..."

"Just you, not them."

She paused and thought for a moment. "Well...ok but you're a prankster, right? It's what you do."

The silver haired man had to agree there. It was in his soul. "Look; its gonna be quicker to show ya than explain, so hurry up. Ain't got much time before Aizen beats old Cuthy."

Orihime opened her mouth to question who, or rather what, 'old Cuthy' was, but figured it was probably best to know less. Steeling her courage, she walked forward and opened the first drawer to find...a stack of photos taken of varying artists. "Erm..."

"No no, other side; that's the decoy." Gin sighed, muttering "No-one's gonna appreciate my set of drawers now anyway I suppose."

Shooting a puzzled glance back at the silver fox, she did as he requested. Opening this drawer with a slightly less timid grip, she found another stack of photos.

"Oh." She said, her voice softening. "And I...remind you...?"

"Yeah." He replied in a surprisingly warm voice. "Yeah, ya do remind me of her."

The redhead blinked for a moment, and then as if by magic it all began to slot into place. The midnight snacks, the time with the food, even trusting her with Sajin. Unbelievably the stars had aligned and somehow they were pointing to the fact that Gin...was actually telling the truth. "So...you're really going to help me escape?"

Gin nodded. "Best I can. The espada are distracted, and 'Cuthy has the others. Still, we should hurry up; don't wanna keep old Ichigo waiting right?"

"Ichigo!" Her eyes widened at his name.

"Ya boy's probably ready t' storm the place for ya; best save youse both the hassle right?"

He wasn't wrong; Ichigo always had that tenacity and drive throughout his life, let alone in the later years. Hell, he'd even stormed the Soul Society for Rukia and they'd barely talked! "I..." Orihime swallowed, her mind thinking over all of her friends back in the human world and the Soul Society that were waiting for her. "But won't you get in trouble?!"

Gin laughed. "Have ya looked around lately?! I AM trouble. What's a few more months in a body cast?"

Orihime almost laughed, but the look she'd just managed to catch in his eye told her that even he knew that this was a step too far. "Gin..."

"Well, maybe it'd be a cactus cast next time..."

"Gin."

"Or maybe even Lego..."

"Gin!" The ex-captain blinked and looked at her. "You could die?"

The silver fox shrugged in response. "I'm already dead; perks of being a Shinigami."

"Gin this is..."

"I know." He told her, eyes opening a fraction as his expression became more resolute. "I know exactly what I'm in for. What all of ya are in for after. Trust me; they need all the help they can."

Sighing, he signed a few symbols and a small Garganta formed in the corner of his room, sucking the air gently into it. "Better get through; he'll 've sensed it. Tell ya friends I said they smell."

Orihime nodded and took a step forward, then immediately stopped. Friends. "Gin? I have one final request, and it's going to be a big ask."

Gin's grin instantly crept back to his face. "Well ya know what they say; in for a penny, in for an insane adventure right?"

-meanwhile at the Gin show-

"What a show tonight guys n' gals! The fifth round!"

"I...will...destroy...him..." Ulquiorra panted over the cheers from the crowd, his eyes wide and filled with the horror of the past few minutes.

The second round had been far harder than the first. Not question wise; it was relatively easy to see who had failed to open the tuna tin and who had mixed up the lube with super glue, but rather emotionally. Ulquiorra thought they had hit rock bottom when the video of him spilling his tea after the water park day out emerged, but Nnoitora's 'flee from the anteater' fail took the cake.

"But first, a word from our spo-…"

"GgggaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Nnoitora bellowed, his hands shaking as he punched everything that was close to him to little avail.

Round three had been even worse for the quinta espada as it revealed everyone's dreams and aspirations. Apparently "getting harder" and "thrusting through the opposition" was incredibly humorous to the audience, so much so that he had to be restrained by the others, who almost missed their own recordings.

"It...it will be ok..." Szayel offered, a hundred percent certain that that was a lie but one thousand percent certain that Grimmjow did not need to know that. "One...one more round..."

Round four had been an endurance test. An emotional endurance test. Turns out that there was only so many "bad kitty"'s and "dog's are the best"'s that the sexta could be delt before falling into a deep, deep depression.

"...I'm a good kitty..." He sobbed, rocking backward and forward as he tried to clear his mind of the damning things that the other inhabitants of Las Noches had said about him. "...The...best kitty..."

"...so always buy Aizen's Shampoo. Aizen's Shampoo; cos ya worth it!" The recording finished, and the four of them collected themselves enough to stand back on their podiums. "Have t' say, I'm impressed! I recorded this t' laugh at after ya failed, but lucky us right?"

The audience cheered and hooted in approval, loving every second of the show. Life for the lower ranks was pretty boring to say the least, and this was FAR more preferable than meeting an eldritch end at the hand of one of their host's death corridors.

"Round Five; Inoue Inquisition!"

A ghost of a smile appeared on Grimmjow's face. "We...we can do this!" He stood up straight again, cracking his deltoids and forcing a grin out of himself. "We can win this!"

Szayel nodded, mirroring the confidence. "Indeed; this should be an easy one!"

"Easy?" The grinning image cackled. "Well ya'd know all about that wouldn't ya peach bon bon, or actually ya club name is 'The Hairy Flami-…"

"DON'T WANNA HEAR THIS SHIT!" Nnoitora shouted over the recording, much to the octava espada's delight.

"Ya done?" Gin asked, and the four of them nodded. "'The Hairy Flamingo' or the 'Pink Pearly Neckla-'…"

Szayel at this point decided that zoning out and plotting his own termination was the correct course of action. From Grimmjow's winces and ear covering he clearly was thinking on the same lines.

"Aaaaanyway," The recording smugly continued, "Four questions, that's it. Pass 'em and you pass. Simple right?"

The four nods were rudely interrupted by the epic roar of "NO!" from the audience.

"Works every time! Now, Question 1; what colour are her eyes?"

"I know its...!" Grimmjow started, before being promptly silenced by Ulquiorra's hand.

"This indeed is a difficult question, moreso than the others." He mused, quietly pondering the question.

"They're green right?!" Szayel asked to his teammates, puzzled by the commotion.

"Nah they're more silvery-grey I'd say..." Nnoitora chipped, gaining three incredibly confused looks. "What? I don't just stare at her tits all the time! ...Not any more at least..."

"Perversions aside," The curator sighed, his eyebrow moving a millimeter upwards in distain for that comment, "It is unclear depending on the situation. My eyes have witnessed her with both of these colours and so both answers are valid."

Grimmjow managed to pry the hand free, glaring daggers at his superior. "Sooooo we choose either right? It's a win win!" He puffed his chest out confidently before adding "Though I'd have said silvery-grey myself."

"And you think he'll let us off with a wishy-washy answer?" Szayel rolled his eyes. "Have you even attended the suffering we have befallen for the past four rounds?"

"Nope because my mind's blocked it out as a coping mechanism!" Grimmjow grinned back, pointing a claw at his own head. "Science bitch!"

"That is...whatever." Szayel sighed, wishing he'd drunk more at the party.

Gin's recording flickered and produced a counting clock. "Ticky Tocky...only ten more t' go!"

"The answer is that they are subjective to the viewer." Ulqiorra answered, and for a moment it seemed the whole of Las Noches held its breath. He was rewarded with a big tick on the screen above and a round of very half-hearted clapping. The Rudbornn clones were clearly wanting more blood and guts.

"Alright alright smarty pants, don't get ahead of ya self!" The recording taunted, grinning Gin's trademark grin. "Question Two; what is her favourite meal?"

Grimmjow instinctively gagged as his brain relived the smell of it. "Red...Red bean paste...shit's vile!"

Gin's recording dinged before the others could even question how he knew that answer. "Goooooood kitty; ain't that right everyone?"

The Rudbornn clones repeated the phrase, almost causing the sexta espada to have an embarrassing expulsion between his legs, which he luckily covered up in time. "W-What? Don't kink shame me!"

"Szayel bleach is good for eyes, right?" Nnoitora asked, looking for the nearest shotgun as a follow up.

"It is now." The scientist confirmed, making a mental note to incinerate his body just in case of an unwanted splash.

"Question Three...er..." The recording checked it's notes, looking somewhat bored. Clearly Gin hadn't planned them to get this far, and the joke was wearing a little thin for him. "Sure...what stuffed her up at the picnic?"

It took literally every ounce of strength that Nnoitora had not to say Ulquiorra. Even the dregs he had been saving in reserve.

Said curator scoffed at the question. "Another easy food question; the answer is sausage rolls."

Grimmjow blinked. "Dude...the fuck? How do you remember that?!"

"Well as you both know my eyes..."

"See shit, yeah yeah," Szayel's eyebrow's quirked up a bit and his arms folded. "And what did I wear last week for the daily meal?"

"Well...I am not sure I was in attendance at that time..."

"You sat next to me."

"...I was preoccupied with many other important issues..."

"You had nothing to do and you were bragging about your 'overwhelming efficiency'."

"...It was a black top...?"

"Aha!" The pink haired hollow exclaimed, pointing a finger at the other 'contestant'. "Guess that's more evidence for feelings, right?"

"Yes..." Ulquiorra mused, quietly processing the data, "I do suppose it is..."

"Wrong its sausage rolls! Ya'd know if ya payed any attention to anyone but ya selves!"

The four espadas blinked, taken aback. "But we..."

"Save ya excuses; I'll be nice anyways. All 'r nothin' right?"

The crowd gave a confused cheer, which was replaced by a very frightened one as the pyrotechnics set up around the stage aimed a little too close for comfort.

"Final chance; get this right and ya win. Who's her favourite? 'N I'm including the humans too!"

A deathly silence fell amongst the contestants for several reasons.

In Grimmjow's case, it was because the answer was very likely to be his sworn enemy Ichigo. The thought of said enemy riled him up to no end, and even though he was doing his best it was very hard to focus on anything but that.

Nnoitora was silent because his fighting instincts were screaming to keep his gigantic mouth shut for once in his life, though he wasn't sure why.

Szayel knew. He knew exactly why he saying anything could be very, very bad, and instead he simply shot a measured but very sympathetic look towards the final contestant.

Ulqiorra's stomach was on fire again.

"Well, the answer...is...obvious..." He tried, finding it increasingly difficult to speak.

"...If you want we can try pool our reiatsu?" Szyel managed to offer, knowing full well that it would signal Aizen. Somehow that was still a better fate than his friend answering. "We should knock that...door...down...no problem...right?"

Grimmjow clicked on at this point, noticing exactly what was happening. "Oh...oh...y-yeah man, fuck him? Me and Nnoitra should blast t-through this no problem right?" He elbowed the quinta espada hard in the ribs and whispered. "RIGHT?"

"S-Sure!" He shouted, faking confidence. "L-Let's fuck that door right up...or something...fuck doors!"

"I appreciate your concerns but a simple answer should suffice." Ulquiorra dipped his head a fraction; a sign of incredible emotional discomfort.

"Simple?" Gin's smile widened so much that you could fit a train through it. "Might be a surprising one this 'un."

"He's gone too fucking far..." Szayel moved to Cero the screen into oblivion, but Nnoitora stopped his hand.

"This one's on him."

Ulquiorra took a deep breath, doing his best to ignore what felt simultaneously like being pounded by a thousand enhanced Yammy punches and also flying through the skies of Hueco Mundo at night.

"The answer is..."

"SPOOOOIIIILLLLEEEERRRRRRSSS!" A shout came, and the wall in front of them exploded, along with the TV and stands. After the smoke cleared and the rubble settled, the four of them gawked at the sight of the one and only king of torture, Gin. "Ya miss me?"

All of them instinctively lunged forward with extreme murderous intent...only to be repelled by Shun Shun Rikka. "Guys, sorry but we got to go!"

Ulquiorra blinked, then instantly broke through the barrier with his hand and was beside her. "Orihime are you injured or hypnotised? I am told that you should not go into the light regardless, so do not do that."

"Ya weren't kiddin'." Gin said, blinking surprisingly. Not that anyone could tell as his eyes were still mostly shut, but the action was there. "Eh, guess it makes this worth it."

A Garganta appeared behind him, and Orihime nodded to it. "I'll explain later, lets go, now!"

The four espada looked at her, then to Gin, then back to her, then back to Gin. "We don't/do not trust him."

"Do you trust me?" She asked, looking each of them in the eye, then looking back at Ulquiorra.

He paused, his mind whirring as he calculated the risk of taking the devil's deal compared to the risk of denying her trust again. "I do. Let us depart."

The other three shared an uneasy glance, but couldn't help but agree.

"Fuck it lets go!"

"Yeah let's do this!"

"Can't be any worse than this hell hole right?"

Orihime couldn't help but smile at all of them. "Thanks guys I...thanks."

"He's almost here." Gin warned, looking at the right wall of the complex. "Guess either Tentacle Boy is dead or he noticed. 'R both. He's vaguely smart."

"Thank you too Gin." Orihime said, and hugged him. The four others gawked and winced simultaneously, expecting her to either disintegrate or explode, yet instead the Silver Fox just smiled and wrapped his arms round her.

"Get goin' kid. See ya friends."

"I'll see her too." She promised, a tear forming in her eye. "I'll tell her."

"Tell 'er her mole's grown." He laughed, then produced his zanpacto. "Go, he's here."

Orihime took a quick breath, and then focused. "Jump in everyone."

The five of them entered the Garganta, which silently closed behind them.

A/N: Been a year but now I'm shifting away from writing for work. Been looking forward to writing the next few chapters for a while now, and I think I know exactly where to take this...