Seireitei Struggles Part 1
"Fucking shit its bright!"
"Well, most things are brighter than you, but I agree."
"The hell is with all these tiny buildings? Where's the desert?"
"Naturally we're no longer in Las Noches. And I don't think it's a great idea to sho-…"
"ICHIGO!" Grimmjow screamed, calling out for his opponent. "COME FIGHT ME YOU GINGER NERD!"
Orihime couldn't help but cringe with embarrassment, even though she knew practically none of the soul reapers surrounding them.
Said soul reapers had gone through a multitude of emotions during the ten seconds the Espada had been in the Soul Society. Firstly, it was sheer terror at the immense spiritual pressure that the four of them emitted. As part of the Eleventh Division, they were well acquainted to fighting, and not just fighting but fighting hollows and their somewhat batshit Captain, but even they knew when they were unbelievably outclassed.
This feeling quickly dissipated once they realised that not only was Orihime, a known ally and total babe, among them, but that the other four were like fish out of water. Despite having their zanpactos and clearly being arrancar of a high order, none of them seemed ready for a serious battle. Aside from Grimmjow of course.
Finally, their emotions settled on sheer annoyance at the volume of the newcomers to their area. The night before had been one of excessive drinking and fighting, so not a single one of them was without the old sore head and hangover combo. The loud noises were definitely the first assault from the arrancar to the Soul Society and their brains, though they knew that soon enough this would pass as most things did.
"Well well well, look what we have here."
The five spun around to find their first real threat to their existence.
Kenpachi Zaraki.
"Looking tough there little Soul Reaper." Nnoitra sneered, squaring up to their assailant and looking down at the scarred man. "Wanna see what a real fucking tough guy is?"
"No no no he does not!" Orihime cried, putting herself between the two wild beasts in an attempt to stop the madness.
"...I'd wanna see." Szayel muttered, just loud enough for Ulquiorra to shoot him a minutely questioning look. "I have a type ok?!"
"So, thought you'd bring your little friends to help take me on?" Kenpachi's teeth glistened in the light, daring his opponent to make the first move. "Well, I'm more than happy for a fight today; might cure my hangover."
"Hopefully it'll cure that fuck ugly face of yours too." Nnoitra shot back, hands moving from their sides to his front as he thought about all of the possibilities his opponent could attack him from.
"Guys we're not here to fight!" Orihime pleaded, shooting Ulquiorra a 'help me' look.
The curator complied with her request. "We seek safe refuge from Lord Aizen."
"Aizen?" A voice came from behind Kenpachi's shoulder, and the intruders became aware of the two small hands gripping the captain's jacket of the eye patched man. Suddenly, a small pink haired shinigami's head shot into their line of sight, causing them all to blink. "Like, traitor Aizen?"
"Indeed." Szayel piped up, deciding to shelve his fetish for the moment and focus on the task at hand. "We'd like an audience with whoever is running this place."
"Sure ya would!" Kenpachi's grin widened, as he drew his sword. "Bet you'd love to see the old man and take his head, wouldn't ya?! But not until I've kicked this lanky bastard into the next di-…"
"BOOBIES!" Yachiru squealed, leaping forward from her caretaker and into Orihime's chest. "Boobies boobies boobies!"
"H-Hey Y-Yachiru!" Orihime stammered, appreciating the affection but not the way it was delivered.
Nnoitra's stance slumped as he looked back. "Fuck me, even that kid's getting more tits than I have in the past few weeks."
"More like years." Grimmjow snorted, which earned him a deserving backhand into a nearby wall.
"Is this a normal greeting for you?" Ulquiorra questioned, somewhat uncertain as to what was happening and why his charge was being assaulted.
Orihime blushed. "No but...in this case...yeah..."
Kenpachi's shoulders sagged, and he sheathed his sword. "Hey Orihime, long time no see."
"Hey K-Kenpachi...how've you been?" She managed a smile despite the groping.
"Oi Yachiru!" The pink haired girl stopped and looked back at him. "Enough."
The small shinigami stopped, then beamed a smile up at the redhead's face. "Great to see you again! We all thought you were a gonner for a bit!"
Orihime shot a smile at her. "Not quite; I'm back!"
"And with friends." Yumichika noted, stepping out from a building behind his captain. "Dangerous friends."
"B-But friends none the less!" She told him, shooting him and the newly arrived Ikkaku the biggest smile she could muster. "Its so good to see you guys!"
"Same to you." Ikkaku grunted wearily, still unease with the massive threat in front of him.
The flamboyant soul reaper's eyes narrowed. "Is...friend the right word? Or jailor?"
"Friend fits fine." Szayel chimed in, eyeing up the newcomers cautiously.
"Sure about that? Or would captors be a better fit?" He replied coldly, looking the octava espada up and down. "Then again that ragged lab coat speaks louder than anything."
A vein popped out of the pink haired man's head. "Coming from the guy who clearly failed at plucking his eyelashes this morning?"
"Its style honey, maybe you should look it up."
"I am quite versed in many good styles, though as you clearly aren't I'm happy to lend you a few books."
"I suppose all that reading explains those bags under your eyes."
"And I suppose yours explains why you didn't have time to match your kimono and your uniform this morning."
"Well, if you come here and take a look I'll show you exactly what matches and where."
"If I needed your advice I'd simply call up Tousen to tell me what matches."
"Isn't that what you've been doing so far?! I really hope so, for your sake."
This cat off continued for a solid minute, with the others present becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the heat of the situation until Orihime decided to end it with "SO WE'D LIKE TO SPEAK TO THE CAPTAIN COMMANDER!"
Kenpachi's eye narrowed. "Look kid, I don't fully get the situation and I'm not all that bright, but I know a hollow when I see one and I know they aren't getting anywhere near the central district without a miracle."
Ulquiorra stepped forward, pondering for a moment, before holding out his hands. "If it would be more prudent, you may restrain us."
"The fucking hell he will!" Nnoitra roared, snapping out of the daze and readying himself for battle. "I'll take all of these assholes on!"
"Yeah that's the spirit!" Kenpachi retorted, once again drawing his sword. "Come at me and kick my ass until I let you through!"
"Or, we can simply hear what they have to say?" Unohana chimed in, appearing from nowhere with a look far more terrifying than any weapon of battle.
Kenpachi cursed the air silently, but lowered his sword.
Nnoitra smiled smugly. "What, scared of a...?"
"I would suggest you take the opportunity I've given you." The fourth division captain warned, glancing at him with such menace that his penis retracted inside of him.
"...Very well, I shall a-allow the others to s-speak for me...fuck..." He muttered, cowering his gigantic frame as much as he could while his animal instincts screeched that he was about to be eaten.
"We're escapees from Hueco Mundo." Orihime explained, choosing her words carefully. "Aizen has gone crazy."
"No change there then." Ikkaku snorted, but was silenced by a similar glance from Unohana.
Ulquiorra continued for his friend. "The entire Espada caste is looking to rebel against Lor...Aizen and...Tousen. Having been granted access through a Garganta by Gin..."
"Gin?!" The shinigami exclaimed, drawing their zanpacto in instinctive fear. "Is...he here too?"
"I'll fucking kill him!" Kenpachi snarled, scanning the air for any traces of the Silver Fox.
The Espada and Orihime exchanged a wry smile. "Glad its not just us."
Ulquiorra blinked, then continued. "He remained behind for reasons unknown, though perhaps Orihime could shed more light on that."
"Rangiku."
The soul reapers looked at each other, then back to her and held her gaze with a bit more warmth. "After all this time?"
"Always." She affirmed, then sighed. "We barely escaped in time, and we had to leave the others behind to fend for themselves. I just hope they're ok."
"The hollows?" Ikkaku laughed. "Why'd you care?! The more he takes out the better for us, right?"
The Espada bristled at the comment, but stayed their hand. All of them knew how precarious the situation was, and even though they may be able to take the current two captains before them, their assault would more than likely end in failure if any more joined the fray.
"Because they're my friends." She told him, eyes slightly watering.
"Idiot baldy!" Yachiru declared, springing over to his head and biting him roughly. Though the third seat was used to the assault, it did not make it any less painful, and he spent the next few minutes rolling around in agony as her tiny incisors chomped at his skull.
"Friends?" Unohana questioned, her eyes slightly opening to lock gaze with Orihime's soul.
"F-F-Friends." She confirmed, albeit barely from the sheer emotional pressure assailed upon her.
The female captain's gaze instantly softened. "Then we best take them down to explain this to the Head Captain."
Orihime's eyes lit up and she nodded eagerly. "Yes, please take us there!"
"Wait a minute!" Kenpachi said, eyeing the group up with suspicion that, while dulled, was still there, "When the hell do I get to fight them?"
"Any time you fucking want you nonce!" Nnoitra growled, squaring up yet again for combat.
"I believe you can settle this score later gentlemen." Unohana said curtly, stiffening the two of them up and blunting their fighting spirits.
"Damn I need to learn that trick." Szayel murmured, gazing wistfully at his crushes' attentive look and none-violent mannerisms.
The espada sheathed their swords and followed the terrifying woman's lead.
-one incredibly awkward walk and explanation later-
"So, allow me to clarify these facts." Yamamoto mused, digesting the content of the previous chapters whilst filtering out all of the crap jokes and randomness, "Gin Ichimaru and the rest of your 'Espada Escapades' have driven Sosuke Aizen insane to the point where he is accelerating his plan to assault the Soul Society and to produce the Ōken?"
"...That is correct." Ulquiorra confirmed, though as soon as the words left his mouth, he realised just how ridiculous they sounded.
"And the other Espada are willing to join the fight against them?"
"Yes, we are ready to combat him, though we do not have the power to overthrow him."
The Head Captain let out a haughty laugh. "Of course you don't; he's an almost unstoppable opponent in of himself. And that's without the Hōgyoku in his possession, let alone his host of arrancar and hollows."
"But we..."
"Have arrived unannounced with no prior communication directly into a barracks." The Captain Commander's eyes narrowed. "Had it been the blue haired boy or the insect at the back I would have taken it for sheer unbridled stupidity, however someone with your intellect being here puts me on the backfoot."
Ulquiorra blinked, not sure whether to be annoyed that his previous tales had been so easily discounted or proud at the compliment from such a distinguished person. He decided to take a moment and choose his next words carefully. "Then by that logic this cannot be an attack planned by myself due to its inadequacy and ineptitude?"
"Potentially..." Yamamoto's eyes narrowed as his left hand stroked the tip of his beard, "Yet in my thousand years as the leader of the Gotei 13, I have come to understand that when Gin Ichimaru is involved things are never quite as clear cut as they seem."
"Just how fucking infamous is this guy?" Nnoitora asked before quickly being silenced by Szayel and Orihime's glares.
"I believe them." Unohana chimed in quietly yet affirmatively from behind her leader.
The Head Captain tilted his ear towards her voice, but his eyes never left the intruders. "You would vouch for them?" She nodded. "Then you shall not be executed on the spot."
"Just how fucking infamous is..." Nnoitora started again, but was silenced by a simple look from the older woman. "I'm very sorry for interrupting it will not happy again."
As he dipped his head in a mixture of shame and utter fear, Szayel decided both that he really needed to undergo extensive training from this master and that he should probably progress the situation. "Before you decide to imprison us, how can we show our usefulness? Floor plans of Las Noches? Shift rotas of guards stationed around the building? Scientific wonders that I have managed to produce?"
"That last one certainly won't be necessary." A voice chimed in from behind them, and the quintet spun round to see the clown like face of Mayuri. "Whatever 'wonders' you have to offer most likely have been concocted during my morning tea break."
A vein popped out of Szayel's temple. "Oh really? Do tell me how you have cracked immortality."
The 12th Division Captain's manic smile widened. "Ohhhh did you say something there little lab assistant? I'm very sorry if I struck a nerve, its just hard not to notice that for all your bragging you are here to request my assistance."
"If I'd wanted to see a circus clown perform I'd have joined Lilynette watching TV!" Szayel spat back before Orihime managed to cover his mouth.
"H-He'd love to join you...as partners?" She suggested tentatively, only to be met with silence from the two of them which was immediately followed by manic laughter.
"Partners?"
"With this oaf?"
"I'd rather work with that idiot shop owner than him!"
"I'd take helping Grimmjow with his math homework; he'd probably have a better grasp of it."
"And I would prefer you would remain silent for the rest of this exchange." Yamamoto and Ulquiorra told their respective subordinates, who scowled but followed their orders.
"I do believe you have a point however," The Head Captain glanced at Szayel, sending a fiery chill down his spine, "Your inside knowledge would prove useful for an assault or defence, depending on whatever schemes Sōsuke is planning. Now...how best to utilise your potential...?"
"I would be happy to dissect..." Mayuri started, then trailed off once everyone there was looking at him. "Tch, at least let me have one of them! It would advance our knowledge of them tenfold!"
This suggestion however was overshadowed by the incredibly beautiful and dramatic entrance of the one and only Byakuya Kuchiki, who's elegance in walking through doors could only be matched by his sheer badassery. "As much as I have a strong distaste for Hollows, I believe it would be rather unbecoming of us to slay mutilate enemy officers."
The four Espada nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I'm not down for being carved up, unless it's a fight of course. Shit can't be helped."
Kenpachi's eye beamed at Nnoitora. "So, you're not afraid to get cut?"
The Quinto Espada's eye glistened back. "I wouldn't know how it feels like; its been so long since someone did it I've forgotten the pain."
"Want a brief reminder? I'd love to have a piece of you and test my sword against yours."
"And I'd love to clash swords with you, no holding back."
"You're coming with me then and we're slashing each other until we can't stand."
"Hope you've got a good medic on standby for when I tear you a new asshole."
At this moment Szayel and Yumichika simultaneously wiped the blood from their noses and covered their superior's mouths to prevent any further double entendre from occurring.
Ulquiorra's mouth quirked upwards by half a millimetre. "Perhaps we should pair the two of them off together, assuming there is a location nearby that you do not mind being utterly annihilated."
"There isn't, but I feel like we don't have much choice." Yamamoto sighed, feeling the spirit pressure in the room rise as the tensions dropped. "Equally I will order that the two science officers join forces and work together collating data." Szayel's and Mayuri's mouths shot open but were quickly silenced by "We will pool as many resources as we can into funding their endeavours."
The pink hair scientist's eyes gleamed. "Actual funding for my research? I...suppose I can share some time with these...colleagues."
"Agreed." Mayuri nodded, already adding to his mental shopping cart a list of new drugs he could now manufacture with the enhanced funding.
"Apologies we are late, Rangiku was napping once again." Tōshirō announced, walking through the side entrance beside his lieutenant. "I assume there is a good reason as to why four high ranking arrancar are here unbound?"
Said arrancar were all suspiciously silent at that moment, distracted by two incredibly large objects resting just above the captain's head.
"...Yeah actually I think I wanna go and train in that guy's team." Nnoitora said, tongue practically on the floor by this point.
"Agreed, I'm sure we can work on assault strategies or something." Grimmjow concurred, struggling to take his eyes off what he could only see as the biggest milk sources in the universe. "...I'd be a good kitty, p-promise."
"And my scientific knowledge would sure help with support...I mean, to support things." Szayel furiously nodded, nose once again starting to run.
Ulquiorra simply kept his eyes fixed directly ahead of him at the Captain Commander, though high pale complexion warmed by half a degree.
A half degree that Orihime instantly noticed. "Ulqui!"
"Apologies Orihime but my eyes see everything. I cannot help that."
"Yeah sure you can't!" Grimmjow slapped him playfully. "Must be a real burden right now."
The dissipated tension in the air suddenly reformed at the words "Where is he; where's Gin?"
All four Espada recoiled in horror at the new redhead's statement.
"DEVIL WOMAN!"
"TRICKY BASTARD TRAPPED US AGAIN!"
Grimmjow sprang up and ran over to her, inspecting her thoroughly. "So what, you got razor blades? Hollow repellent? That weird poison that made us shit all over the bathro-…?!"
"He's still there." Orihime answered, meeting her eyes with a warm sadness. "And he said to tell you your mole's grown."
"IS THA A CODEWORD?!" Szayel yelled, taking cover behind Nnoitora.
"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" Grimmjow retreated, cowering with his friends.
Yet to all of their surprise the new shinigami just snorted. "Asshole...well I'm surprised he can see it through those tiny snake slits. I'm guessing he's still a trickster then?"
Ulquiorra nodded, still looking directly ahead as much as possible. "That would be putting it lightly."
She smiled. "Good, now keep those eyes forward before I slap you."
"But my eyes see..."
"Yeah yeah, whatever you pervert." Rangiku laughed and winked at Orihime. "You'll have to keep a tighter leash on him before he gets stolen."
Orihime blushed. "I-I d-don't know what..."
"Enough!" Tōshirō roared, folding his arms as a vein popped out of his forehead. "We don't have time to play around here. I'm assuming these are our captives, correct?"
"More like defectors it would seem." Byakuya corrected him with 100% coolness. "They are currently being assigned to appropriate divisions to aid our fight against Aizen. Speaking of which, I believe we would have quite agreeable temperaments, Ulquiorra wasn't it?"
The Curator nodded. "Indeed, we would, though I do not intend to leave Orihime's side."
Yamamoto quirked an eyebrow. "I see. Not quite trusting of us then, despite me not executing you on the spot?"
Ulquiorra met his burning glare with his own cool stare. "You do not trust us fully despite our group not rampaging throughout your districts; I believe it is only fair. We hollows have our own duties to maintain with or without Aizen, and my duty is to keep this woman safe."
"Ulqui..." Orihmie started, blushing slightly.
"Very well, though you will be taking your feline friend with you as well where you go." The Head Captain stood up as a Senkaimon appeared behind him. "I am sure you will not protest if you return the girl back to her home and her human friends, no?"
Ulquiorra shook his head in agreement a millisecond before realising what that meant. "So then she will be returning to see..."
"Indeed." The doors open, and through them stepped through a well-known ginger soul reaper.
"Orihime?" Ichigo stood there completely bewildered. "You're...back?"
