Debts
The day was won, the city saved, and the Avengers were sitting in a partially destroyed middle eastern eatery trying the cuisine, when a tall, broad shouldered man walked in, wearing an eye patch.
"You're not Fury," Stark noted, looking him over and noting his torn and scorched clothing.
"I'm not Sound either," he replied with a shrug. "Thor Odinson?" he asked, turning to Thor.
"I am he," Thor said proudly and thumped his chest with a closed fist.
"Good, then this is for you," the man said, laying an ancient and tattered piece of goat skin in front of the Asgardian.
"Some ancient summons?" Hawkeye guessed as he leaned forward to get a better view of it.
"Looks more like a bar tab to me," Stark said with a snicker.
"Everything looks like a bar tab to you," Rogers joked.
"It is a bar tab," Thor said.
"How old is that bar tab?" Stark asked in disbelief, reaching out and turning it around to try and decipher it.
"Well over a thousand years and still unpaid," the one eyed man said.
"Who keeps an unpaid bar tab for a millennium?" Bruce asked in disbelief.
"Aud," Thor and the one-eyed man chorused.
"How did you end up with a thousand year old bar bill?" Stark asked.
"Aud left it to me in her will," the man replied.
"And how long ago was that?" Natasha asked, already creating a mental profile of him to add to the file she'd read and finding a decent number of weapons hidden on him as she looked him over, all barely noticeable and all of them ones that could be used for silent assassinations from what she could tell.
"About a year and a half ago," the man replied.
"How did she meet her end?" Thor asked.
"On her feet, sword in hand, fighting a Turok-Han," the one eyed man replied proudly. "It was a fierce battle."
"I thought the Turok-Han long deceased," Thor said, sounding surprised.
"They are now, probably," he said thoughtfully. "There was a small army of them in enchanted sleep in a cavern."
"I hate when they do that," Thor said shaking his head.
"So do I," the man agreed, "but it is an effective tactic so I doubt they'll stop using it any time soon."
"Who are you?" Stark asked.
"Alexander Harris, my friends call me Xander," he introduced himself.
"Come sit with us and tell us how you fared in this battle," Thor said waving a hand at the city around them.
Xander took a seat next to Thor, and let out a relieved sigh, glad to be off his feet. "Thanks, I came through with only some light bruising so either I'm getting better at dodging or these guys were crap."
"More the latter," Thor said, "their danger was in their quantity not their quality."
"I suspected as much," Xander said as Stark ordered for him. "The armor was good quality but poorly fitted, the weapons powerful but clumsy."
"Aye," Thor agreed. "It was like the clumsy swat of a giant."
"So you tracked down Thor, The God of Thunder to settle a bar tab?" Stark asked.
"Yep," Xander agreed, pouring himself a drink from the pitcher on the table.
"Why?" Natasha asked. "I can't see money being your sole motivation."
"Anya, the name Aud used when she was with me, asked me to collect on her remaining debts in her will," Xander replied.
"How was she still alive after a thousand years?" Stark asked. "Was she Asgardian, frozen in ice, a deep sleeper, what?!"
"She was a simple mortal barmaid when I knew her," Thor offered.
"She became immortal, I convinced her to stay mortal when she became one again, she died in battle," Xander explained, not feeling like sharing any more of her story.
"Why would you do that?" Bruce asked.
"Better afterlife prospects," Xander said.
"She died in battle against a worthy foe, she is no doubt in Valhalla right now," Thor said, clapping Xander on the back.
Xander swayed with the blow. "Yeah, I know. I checked just to make sure."
"How do you check something like that?" Stark asked.
"It involved putting an egg inside a chicken," Xander said, "and that's all I'm willing to say about it."
"What do you do for a living?" Stark asked, wondering how sane this man was.
"Nothing," Xander replied. "I don't have to do anything for a living, so I do whatever I want."
"I must return my brother to Asgard to face judgment, you shall accompany me," Thor told Xander. "I shall have payment for you there."
"I can cover it if you don't have the cash on you," Stark offered.
"It's not money, I pledged if the bill was late I'd pay with my favorite weapon at the time," Thor explained. "It was before I'd mastered my hammer."
"I've always wanted to see Asgard," Xander said with a slowly growing smile.
Stark opened up a panel in the forearm of his armor and started typing away, pulling up what he could find on Alexander Harris.
"May I?" Xander asked, gesturing to the hammer.
"Only the worthy may lift it," Thor said gesturing for Xander to go ahead.
"But worthy of what?" Xander asked as he grabbed the handle and lifted the hammer. "Man you could do some serious damage with this," he said in admiration, feeling a surge of strength and knowing that with this hammer in his hand no one could stand against him, Glory would have been ground into dust long before she could have become a threat to anyone he cared about. He forced himself to set it back down and release it.
"My father was never clear on what worthy meant just that I was not," Thor admitted, "and he was right. I was too easy to anger and too quick to rush to judgment. I thought little of others when I should have thought much and much of myself when I should have thought little."
"Doubt I'm really worthy," Xander said.
"You just lifted it," Rogers pointed out.
"It was probably a test," Xander replied, waving it off.
"Yeah, if you're worthy you can lift the hammer," Stark said bluntly as he continued searching online.
"I mean I was probably allowed to lift the hammer to see what I'd do with it," Xander explained.
"You've lost me," Clint said.
"Just because you are worthy of lifting the hammer doesn't mean you would act as Thor would. So the question of whether I was worthy of the hammer is secondary to the question of what I would do with the power," Xander explained.
"You remind me of my father," Thor said surprised.
"It's the eye-patch," Xander suggested.
Thor laughed. "Mayhap."
"Who, or more likely what, are Turok-Han?" Stark asked Xander as he looked at the scarce amount of reports he could find on him.
"Cro-Magnon vampires who were strong enough to walk about in daylight," Xander explained, poking at the sandwich Stark had ordered for him suspiciously.
"Vampires?" Stark asked doubtfully.
"Is the threat contained?" Rogers asked.
"They were completely wiped out," Xander reassured him before taking a cautious bite of the sandwich and finding it palatable.
"You believe in vampires?" Stark asked Rogers, surprised that the old soldier would believe in something so ridiculous.
"A couple of the Nazi were vampires," Rogers replied, "but thankfully the numbers were low."
"Next you're going to tell me werewolves exist," Stark said with a grin, figuring they were just messing with him.
"It's a foul curse that has ruined many a warrior who could not overcome it," Thor said solemnly.
"He hasn't been read in?" Xander asked, looking around the table for those in the know.
"There hasn't been any need to," Natasha replied, "plus it was decided that the last thing the world needed was Tony Stark getting interested in the supernatural."
Clint turned to Stark. "We're just messing with you, vampire and werewolves don't exist." He snickered. "Gullible."
Tony laughed. "You almost got me there. Where did you find him?" He gestured to Xander with his thumb.
"I really am collecting on a bar bill, regardless of military in-jokes," Xander said. If his teammates didn't want Iron Man to know about the supernatural world, Xander wasn't going to tell him.
"Found it in a museum or something?" Tony asked, as he flickered through what few files were available on Alexander Harris, noting quite a few police reports and dropped charges.
"I have to do something with my spare time," Xander replied, dodging the question.
"Like arson?" Tony asked as he read about several cases were Harris was the prime suspect until the charges were dropped with no explanation given.
"I spend a fair amount of time tracking down nut cases," Xander said, "and quite a few have a special relationship with fire."
"I'm seeing a distinct lack of arrests," Tony noted, fishing for more information.
"By the time I discover them they are already into double digits in terms of lives lost," Xander explained. "None of them are willing to surrender and I'm not willing to risk anyone to try and bring them in alive."
"You're an assassin," Tony guessed.
"Sometimes," Xander said thoughtfully, "but most of the time I just show up, ask some questions, and get attacked."
"Who do you work for and what's the retirement package like?" Tony asked, shaking his head.
"I don't work for anyone," Xander said, "I just… help people."
"By killing them?" Tony asked sarcastically.
"By killing the people that kill them," Xander corrected. "Bit of a difference there."
"True," Tony admitted, not quite hypocritical enough to argue about it.
"We leave at dawn," Thor said, changing the subject. "Will you be ready?"
"Sure, I just have to make one phone call real quick." Xander pulled out his phone and tapped the screen before holding it up to his ear. "Hey Wills. I'm catching a ride with Thor in the morning and I wanted to give you a heads up so you didn't panic when I vanished. I know you said you didn't put any trackers on me, but it's not like I'd believe it."
Tony smirked as he listened to Jarvis. "Nice try, but I'm monitoring the entire em spectrum and your phone isn't connecting to anything."
"Got anything appropriate for Asgard?" Xander asked ignoring Tony.
A massive war hammer appeared at Xander's side in a flash of light.
Xander chuckled. "Very funny, Wills. And how am I supposed to wield it?"
Black Widow and Hawkeye had flinched when the hammer appeared, but didn't draw their weapons. Rogers had shifted warily but relaxed as nothing else had happened.
"Ulik's hammer?" Thor asked as he looked it over, looking a bit surprised.
"You did? Well, thanks. I'll call you as soon as I get back. Love you too, bye!" Xander tapped the screen and put it away. "Willow wanted to make sure I was properly armed for the trip."
"Tis not the equal of mine, but it's a worthy weapon," Thor offered.
"It looks a bit hard to wield, like swinging around an anvil on a stick," Clint said. "How can you lift it?"
"I can't or couldn't," Xander replied, "but Willow said she fixed that."
"Ulik's hammer?" Rogers asked.
"King of the trolls and a fierce warrior," Thor replied as Xander grabbed the massive hammer and slowly lifted it.
"So it's Asgardian," Tony said.
"It's not of Asgard," Thor disagreed, "the trolls are part of Jotunheim."
"Same difference," Tony waved it off. "How did you get it?" he asked Xander.
"Killed a troll god," Xander said. "Well, not me personally, he liked me. My friend Buffy killed him." He set the hammer back down, satisfied he could handle it.
"I have so many questions," Tony said, making a list in his head.
"And I have zero urge to answer them," Xander replied with a shrug.
"I could bribe you," Tony said with a smile.
Xander shook his head. "I'm good on money and I can't imagine you'd have anything I want."
"Seriously?" Tony asked, as if the very idea of not being able to bribe someone was incomprehensible.
"Seriously," Xander replied. "I have more than enough money to retire any time I want and my 'job' keeps me busy."
"You have Asgardian stuff and can teleport things, that's more concerning than the 'people die on fire around you' section of my questions," Tony said, sounding almost serious for once which meant he probably was.
"And you have armor that makes you a one man army," Xander fired back. "All you have to do is look at what people do with the power they have to see if you should start asking pointed questions."
Tony considered that. "Could you at least tell me how you were communicating without using the electromagnetic spectrum?" he finally asked, relaxing a little and mentally designing an algorithm that would allow him to get more data about Xander based on what little he had already found out.
Xander considered what he could say beyond magic. "Things that were once one thing are always one thing in some ways," he explained, recalling how Willow had explained it to him.
Bruce snapped his fingers. "Quantum entanglement!"
Tony nodded. "Yeah, okay." He turned to Clint and Nat. "No questions from SHIELD?"
"He's Alexander Harris," Natasha said, "SHIELD records refer to him as Rogue Agent in our files. His psychological profile is all over the place, but his actions speak for themselves."
"Rogue Agent?" Xander asked.
"We needed a code name for your file and Chaos Bringer set the wrong tone," Natasha told him. "I studied your file when we were notified you were in the area."
"The government is tracking me?" Xander asked a bit surprised and not quite sure how to feel about that fact.
"Trying to," Natasha said, "you seem to wander around without rhyme or reason. Agents are usually dispatched to sift through the ashes behind you and make sure all the embers are put out, just in case."
"Remind me, how do we know he isn't setting the fires?" Tony asked.
"Because the number of deaths and missing persons cases goes down after he's passed through an area," Natasha said. "While not in any way an Agent of SHIELD, Fury says he handles the cases we would have sent him on if he were, hence Rogue Agent."
"Can I request a cooler name?" Xander asked. "Rogue Agent is kinda bland. How about Agent X?"
"Taken," Clint said.
"Fire starter?"
"Closed down CIA program," Natasha said.
"Agent Blaze?"
"Works for us," Clint said. "Nice guy, does crypto work."
"You can't request a change of code name, they are assigned by command," Natasha informed him.
"What if I put on a colorful outfit and do some signature stuff, like use a specific weapon or use certain tactics?" Xander asked grinning widely. "It works for you guys."
"Is he insane?" Bruce asked curiously and only half joking.
"It's in his file," Black Widow said with a sigh.
Typing by: fyrewolf5
TN: almost back to normal for typing stuff, and I can totally see Anya doing something like this, and Xander would definitely follow through with her requests from her will.
